SevenSensuousDays (16 page)

As if he’d forget? “Yep.”

She scolded the pups gently. “Then you guys have nothing to
complain about. So you behave, understand?”

They licked her fingers as though she’d dipped them in Alpo.
Tessa blew them a kiss and straightened. Both pups followed her as she bypassed
Logan’s desk, taking in the room. It was the only one without a cathedral
ceiling and windows everywhere, just two normal-sized panes on the west side.
The sun’s rays spilled through the spotless glass, brightening the stone
fireplace and brick walls.

“Whoa,” Tessa said, her hand to her throat. “I’ve heard of
man caves before, but this really takes it to a new level.”

Logan joked, “You should have seen it before I had the bats
removed and the windows installed.”

Tessa didn’t comment. She’d stopped at the cork board on the
far side of his desk, the photos pinned to it. After studying a few, she
glanced from them to him and back again, obviously comparing features. Trying
to determine which boy was Connor. She leaned really close and stared at the
picture of a small girl around Samantha’s age when she’d died, no doubt
attempting to match her features with those Internet photos of Nicole.

Logan explained, “Those are kids who made it through surgery
or whose health improved with the devices I helped design.”

Tessa stepped back and regarded the children with a
different expression, one of hope rather than sadness, then turned to him. “Is
that what you’re working on now? Another device?”

He’d been trying to but hadn’t gotten very far. “Yeah.”

“Can I see?” She went behind his desk and glanced at the
schematic and notes on his computer monitors. Earlier, the monitors had still
been in the upstairs closet along with the camcorders he set up when they’d been
messing around.

With her hand on her thigh, Tessa leaned closer to the
screens. “What is that exactly?”

“It’s for bone deformities. It uses magnets, rather than
invasive surgery, to correct a problem.”

Her eyes widened. “Wow. How is it possible to do that?”

“It’s not really that hard when you understand the concept
behind it.” He pointed to the screen and explained what he was showing her, how
he’d come to use that particular tactic for the problem he was trying to solve.

He wasn’t even remotely into his demonstration when she
interrupted him. “That’s really something. Be right back.”

Logan turned in his chair as she left his office, followed
by the pups. He called out, “Where are you going?”

“Kitchen,” she shouted.

Suddenly she was hungry?

She was gone a good ten minutes. Logan knew, he kept
checking the time. When he heard her padding back down the hall, he figured she
had either grabbed something quick for breakfast or made a meal that she was
bringing in here. No doubt something bland such as scrambled eggs or oatmeal
since he hadn’t smelled anything cooking.

When he looked over, she breezed inside with her laptop.

Tessa pointed behind herself. “I put Jack and Molly in the
family room. They’re watching Sesame Street. Good thing too. They’re both old enough
to learn the alphabet. I warned them there would be a pop quiz at the end of
the program.”

Logan didn’t even try to stop his laughter. “You’re planning
your quiz on that thing?” He gestured to her tiny laptop.

“Oh no. This is for me.” Positioned to the side of his chair
so she could see his monitors, Tessa said, “Go on. Tell me again how your
device works. Start from the beginning…if you don’t mind.”

With the tip of his finger, Logan edged her laptop down so
he could see the screen. She’d brought up Google’s homepage. “What are you
doing?”

“As you explain, I’ll search for what you’ve said. That way
I won’t be bothering you with a lot of silly questions.”

Silly? Logan had never been as touched by someone’s interest
in his work or as humbled. “You’re not bothering me.”

‘Well I won’t be with this.” She pulled her computer away
from him. “It’s been a lifesaver.”

“Huh?”

She waved her hand in dismissal. “Nothing.”

When she didn’t continue, Logan said, “Like when you looked
me up on it?”

“No.” Her eyebrows lifted in surprise, and then she made a
face. “I didn’t mean that at all. Felicity told me who you were and—”

“Felicity?”

“One of the other escorts—women at the auction. After she
told me who you were, I shouldn’t have looked you up. That was a terrible thing
to do. I wouldn’t want my privacy invaded. However, I wasn’t talking about
that.”

Uh-huh. “Then what were you talking about?”

Tessa stopped rubbing the back of her neck and regarded him.
Logan couldn’t be absolutely certain, but she seemed to be considering whether
to tell him the truth or not.

“I’d really like to know,” he said. No lie. She had his full
attention and curiosity.

Tessa’s face reddened a bit and then she shrugged. “One of
my other clients is teaching me chess. Rather than bug him with a bunch of
questions, I research what he’s said. I study moves on chess websites. I never
knew there were such things until I started…”

Logan stopped listening. His mind kept snagging on her first
words—
other clients.
Another man, like him, who’d paid for her time and
apparently liked her so well, he wasn’t concentrating solely on the sex but was
also teaching her board games.

A stab of jealousy hit Logan so hard, his entire body
bristled. Who was this fucking guy? Someone her own age? A man she was falling
in love with? Is that why she’d been reluctant to mention him?

Wait a sec. If that were true why in the hell was she here
with him? Liking…no
needing
what they did together. Tessa might have
been an escort with all that it implied, but she wasn’t a great actress. Logan
had gone over his years with Nicole more than enough times to know when a woman
was lying, when she had a secret agenda. He
knew
Tessa had craved his
touch. Damn, she’d longed for it.

Besides, she’d told him the first day she was here that she
hadn’t been talking to a boyfriend on the phone, because there was no other
man. She wasn’t involved. In the least.

Her voice filtered back. “That way I can—”

She stopped as he took her computer and put it on the other
side of his desk. Her shoulders slumped. She looked embarrassed. “If I don’t
use that, I may not follow what you’re saying. Don’t worry, I won’t be taking
notes. I’m not trying to steal anything from—”

He interrupted her again, this time pulling her onto his
lap. Before she could get one word out, he pressed his mouth to her ear and
whispered, “I’ll explain everything. You don’t have to look up one fucking
term. You’re not bothering me.”

She turned her head. Their mouths were only a breath away,
hers scented with coffee. She must have taken a swig of what was left in the
pot before returning here. “You’re sure?”

Of this, yeah. Of everything else, fuck no. “Now pay
attention. There will definitely be a quiz at the end of my lecture.”

Tessa smiled and so did he.

For the rest of the afternoon, well into the night, Logan
showed her all of his medical devices, explaining the intricacies of each much
as he would to a first-year engineering student. She was still lost with the
jargon, but understood the basic concepts faster than he would have guessed. He
recalled when she’d told him she wasn’t as dumb as a stick. No kidding. Tessa
was one of the brightest and wisest women he’d ever met.

Near dawn, they went to bed. Not to sleep, but to make love.
Unlike the other times, he entered Tessa slowly, hanging on to each moment,
searching her face to see if she liked what he was doing. If she needed it as
much as Logan feared he did.

They kissed like real lovers…two people who might have been
friends if circumstances had been different. They weren’t. They were both
shaped by prior events, taking paths that would never connect for very long.

Maybe that’s why he savored their lovemaking this time even
more than the others, trying to make it last as long as he could.

Not even after Tessa had drifted to sleep would Logan let
go, wanting her to cling to him while he fought his own fatigue and the
inevitable. Today was Sunday.

Their time together at an end.

Tessa fought intense melancholy as she prepared to leave.
The last time she’d been so low was when she’d finally accepted that she’d
never see her dad again or have a real family to come home to. That chapter of
her life was over. No matter how much she might have wanted things to be
different, or back to where they’d once been, it wasn’t going to happen.

She shook out the garments she’d arrived in seven days
earlier, recalling how she’d stripped for Logan, dropping them on the outside
walk. Blades of grass stuck to the black top, grit to her linen shorts. She
pressed the items to her face, hoping to smell him on them.

As luck would have it, Logan came into the master bedroom at
just that moment. No doubt to see what was keeping her.

She was still naked, not even having taken a shower yet. He,
on the other hand, was scrubbed fresh, dressed in a navy tee and jeans, hair
combed and face shaven, though not by her. That part of their deal was over.

Tessa’s soul ached. Her face warmed at how idiotic she must
look, trying to catch his scent on her stuff. The rest of her yearned to have him
close.

Logan remained nearer to the doorway than to her, looking
uncomfortable. Like a host whose guest had outstayed her welcome, and he didn’t
know what to say about it, not wanting to bruise any feelings, even as he hoped
to see her gone.

He’d told her he only wanted to have a good time. She should
have believed him.

She had no other choice now.

After clearing her throat, she held out her clothes and
lied, “I think Molly must have slept on these at some point. They kind of smell
like her. Do you mind if I use your washer and dryer?”

“Use anything you want.” He crossed his arms over his chest.
“I’ve told you repeatedly to make yourself at home.”

A nice prospect, but certainly debatable given his clipped
response and seeming annoyance. Unlike the previous day when he’d talked
eagerly about his devices, holding nothing back, he’d become more aloof as
Tessa prepared to leave.

“Thanks,” she said, trying to keep her voice from cracking. “Would
you like me to make us some brunch before I go? I’m not a great cook, but I can
do eggs and stuff.”

“I’ll make it. The laundry room’s just before the sunroom.”

Where she’d coaxed him down to the floor, delaying his plans
to use the pool. Pulling her Scheherazade act to make him do what she willed.
No chance of that now since he was already heading downstairs.

Abandoning her plans to wash her clothing, Tessa took a
quick shower instead, got dressed and saw to the rest of her stuff. There wasn’t
any real packing to do since nothing had touched her skin except for him and
perfume during her entire time here. Such lovely, magical moments. Gone now.

She forced down a swallow and ordered herself to chill, like
the professional escort she was. The call girl he wanted her to be. To simply
get through these last minutes together.

When she came into the kitchen, Logan busied himself with
the meal, not bothering to look her way. Tessa stood by the table, feeling like
an interloper, watching him finish the eggs and toast. Again, she noticed how
comfortable he looked cooking for others, as though he’d done it many times for
his children or Nicole.

“Can I help?” Tessa finally asked, breaking the silence.

“All done.” He put their plates on the table.

“You forgot the milk.” She went to the refrigerator, knowing
he liked a tall glass with his breakfast, rather than the coffee she preferred.

With the carton in hand, Tessa turned.

Logan was staring at her outfit—black shorts, a top in
seafoam green with short flutter sleeves, and cream espadrilles. No wedged
platforms this afternoon or bows that tied around her ankles. For her and
Logan, those days were gone.

Disappointment registered in his eyes. Indifference quickly
replaced it as he regarded her hair, back in a ponytail, rather than worn
loose. As far as her makeup went, Tessa had gone wild—at least in terms of what
she knew he didn’t particularly like—putting on a bit of eyeshadow, blush, and
rose lipstick, in addition to mascara. To the average person she probably
looked natural. To him, she was no longer stripped bare, accessible.

As though he couldn’t have cared less, he turned away and
pulled out a chair for her.

Her heart sank even further. “Thanks. Looks good. Smells
great.”

The pups agreed. Their tails wagged furiously. They kept
vocalizing that they wanted some of the food.

Logan nodded in response to Tessa’s compliment. That was the
sum total of their communication with each other. While they ate, they showered
attention on Molly and Jack. Kind of the way married folks did with their
children, using them as a buffer against unwanted and hurtful intimacy.

When the hum of Wallace’s Lincoln neared, the pups scampered
down the front hall, wanting at the new visitor. Logan picked them up, one in
each arm.

“No, wait,” Tessa said before he could put them in another
room. “I’d like to say goodbye if that’s all right.”

He frowned. “Why wouldn’t it be?”

Because she was an escort and he was her client? How about
that? Or the way he’d been acting since they got up, like strangers again. All
of the great times already in the past for him.

Not her. Tessa feared she’d remember and long for these days
for the rest of her life.

“Hey you,” she murmured to Molly, her voice thick with
emotion. She scratched the pup behind her ears. “Where’s your pacifier? You
lose it again?”

Earlier in the week, Tessa and Logan couldn’t find it
anywhere, while Molly had whined endlessly for her property. After an
exhaustive search, Logan had finally located it in one of his shoes. Tessa
smiled at her memory of how pleased he’d looked at having discovered the prize
before she had, with them making it a game. Stupid, silly stuff that, for her,
enriched the sex.

“You be good,” she told the pup, kissing the top of her
head.

Molly licked Tessa’s cheek, leaving slobber all over it.

Logan thumbed it off, then stopped as though he realized
what he was doing. Bringing back his hand, he mumbled, “Want me to get you a
tissue?”

She wanted more days with him, just as she had with the
other people she’d lost in her life.

“I’m good,” she lied, forcing herself not to lean into
Logan…to smell, touch, taste him, drowning in his heat and strength.

On an unhappy sigh, Tessa said goodbye to Jack. He licked
her fingers and barely held still long enough for her to kiss the tip of his
nose. “No more Animal Planet for you, hear?” Tessa spoke sotto voce to Logan. “He
gets way too excited when he sees another Lab, especially the girls.”

Her joke made Logan smile. For about a second. Outside, the
Lincoln came to a halt. He glanced in its direction.

“Time to go,” Tessa murmured, fighting sadness.

Logan turned back to her. A long moment passed as they
regarded each other. She hadn’t trimmed his hair as she’d promised. He hadn’t
spanked her again as he’d threatened repeatedly these last days. So much left
undone. Unsaid.

He inclined his head toward her luggage. “I’ll put your
stuff in the car.”

“Wallace can do that.” No need to drag this out. It was
over. It had never begun. “Goodbye, Logan.”

Mindful of the pups, Tessa leaned into him carefully,
brushing her lips over his. Jack’s tail kept whapping her belly. It ached with
loss.

Tessa swallowed and eased back, then used her thumb to wipe
her lipstick from Logan’s bottom lip. “Thanks for a wonderful time. I really
enjoyed it.”

Color rose to his face, his expression one of need,
frustration, sorrow. Too many emotions, most of them unpleasant. He seemed on
the verge of saying something, then simply nodded.

Unable to resist, Tessa went to the back of him and wound
her arms around his torso, her cheek to his uninjured shoulder. His tee smelled
of Downy. It wasn’t half as nice as his natural scent. Mindful of his
scars—that he’d said no longer hurt, surely not like his heart—Tessa hugged him
with care and tenderness.

After a moment and a sigh that sounded wistful or forlorn,
Logan looked over. “Let me put the pups down.”

“No, don’t. I have to leave.” With her palms pressed to his
flat belly, Tessa hugged him once more. “Be happy, okay?”

She didn’t wait for his answer. Releasing him, Tessa grabbed
her purse and luggage, then fled the house.

“Everything all right?” Wallace asked when he saw her.

“Great,” she lied and hurried into the Lincoln, clearing her
throat, swiping at her eyes.

Not once did Tessa look back as Logan’s place grew smaller
and smaller in her side view mirror. That was too damn hard for her to do.

Wallace seemed to understand or didn’t want to get involved
in anyone else’s heartache. He kept quiet as he drove.

Molly and Jack followed Logan from the front door into the
great room, the wall of windows in there. He hadn’t recalled putting them down.
Their pudgy bodies bumped against his legs. They whined, wanting to play.

For as long as he could, Logan watched the Lincoln winding
down the drive that led to the main road. When he finally lost sight of it, he
acted without thinking, hurrying to the stairs. From the second floor, he might
be able to see it a little longer.

Halfway up the flight, he stopped and considered how foolish
he was behaving. Watching Tessa leave wasn’t going to make this any better.
Already the house seemed beyond empty. Too quiet even with the pups’ noise. Her
delicate scent still lingered. For how long? Another hour? A full day?

He couldn’t hope for that any more than he could expect the
wonder of her having been here to last. She wasn’t his girlfriend. She’d never
be his wife, not that he figured she’d be crazy enough to have him. Tessa had
merely enjoyed their time together. She probably considered him a kind of
friend—since that seemed important to her—but nothing more than that.

Except maybe as a guy who also needed her compassion.
Exactly what Logan didn’t want. Not from any woman. Especially not her.

When it came to Tessa James, his needs were many and had
nothing to do with her empathy. For one split second as she’d hugged him in the
foyer, he had imagined his caution receding so he could just go with his heart
and ask her to stay awhile longer. Loving her as she required and he needed.
Building one day on another, making a future, perhaps another family.

Just as quickly, he’d told himself it was out of the question.
They barely knew each other. A week wasn’t adequate time to get to know anyone,
even if it had started to feel like that with her. And another loss, even a
mild one when it came to Tessa—her disapproving of something he said or did,
not teasing him any longer, no longer joking around—would be more hurt than he
was prepared to bear.

Dammit, this was supposed to have been only about sex,
having a great time, letting loose. For the most part, he’d managed to make it
so.

All he had to do now was accept it for what it had been,
then forget about it. Lose himself in work as he’d always done. Stop picturing
Tessa’s inviting smile, her adorable dimple, and delightful sass, how she
played with Jack and Molly.

How she’d stirred and restored him.

Yeah, that was all he had to do…put those memories out of
his mind. It would take some effort, sure, but he had persistence to spare and
would use it.

Their parting was the best thing, especially for Tessa. Even
if she had deep feelings for him, which she hadn’t vocalized despite those few
yearning looks he’d seen, she deserved a better man. One who was whole, who
could trust easily and believe in hope as readily as she did, and give her
everything she damn well deserved.