Sex and the Widow Miles (The Women of Willow Bay) (17 page)

I found my voice, although it sounded strangled.
“Really?
That’s
what you have to say to me?”

After
gazing at me for a long moment, she came around the end of the bar. “Why don’t we talk outside on the deck? The view’s wonderful and it’s warm today.”

I saw she was wearing worn leather sandals with her gypsy skirt—she had the smallest feet I
’d ever seen. I followed her out the side door while Will hung back at the bar. I scowled at him over my shoulder and gave him a head jerk and a glare, but he stood still and simply sipped his wine.

Now
he leaves me alone. Bastard
.

“
Have a seat.” The woman moved with surprising grace, her skirt flowing around her trim ankles as she pulled chairs out at one of the tables and extended a hand in invitation.

I sat across from her, unable to stop staring at her short, severely styled gray hair and dated wire-rimmed glasses. I
’d prepared a venomous attack in the event I got to speak to Charlie’s lover, but the words had vanished. The whole scenario was so surreal I couldn’t think of a single intelligent thing to say.

“
Doc talked about you often and showed me pictures. I knew who you were as soon as you walked in.” Emily folded her arms and rested them on the table. “How did you find me?”

Frowning, I leaned back in my chair, powerless to take in the absurdity of the situation.

I’m sitting here with my dead husband’s mistress, and she’s an old lady.

“
Charlie’s email.” My words were clipped as I began to come back to myself.

“
Ah.” Her dangling silver earrings tinkled when she nodded her head.

“
What the hell did he see in
you
?” The words were out before I could stop them. I was so puzzled by her, by the thought of my Charlie with her, I couldn’t have kept from saying them if I’d tried.

She
blinked and sat back, running a trembling hand through her hair. The air was crisp in spite of the sun and goose bumps chased up her arm. “I…um…”

Her discomfort sent a twinge of guilt through me. That was below the belt, but it had just slipped out. Besides, look what she
’d done to me.

“
How dare you?” I leaned toward the table and smacked my palm on the stone surface. “How dare you have an affair with
my
husband?”

“
Believe me, I didn’t plan it.”

“
No one ever does, do they?” My voice was icy. “Oh, I know. It just happened? You met and you couldn’t resist?”

“
Something like that.” She rubbed her hands up and down her biceps, the gesture belying her calm tone. “We met at a wine tasting in the city. I was pouring at Emilio’s and he came in with a group of other doctors for dinner. We started talking and—”

“
Look, I don’t need the gory details, okay?” My mind simply couldn’t comprehend the fact that she was speaking about
my
husband.

Sh
e stopped talking, apparently waiting for me to say something.

The only thing that came to mind was,
“How long?”

“
Almost sixteen years.”

“
Why?” I croaked, inwardly cursing my awkwardness. She was so calm, and I felt like a dumb kid in the principal’s office.

“
I was a widow with a small boy, trying to keep a family business together. I wasn’t interested in a relationship, but when I met Doc, we… we just clicked.”

My heart began to pound and my palms were sweaty on the arms of the chair. I curled my hands into fists, trying to understand what she was saying. I wanted to scream at her.

He was married! To
me
!

Instead
I
sat waiting this time. I needed to understand.

“
For Doc, I think it was that, with me, he didn’t have to be… um… perfect.”

The words shook me to my core.
“
What?
”

“
In Michigan, life was a fairy tale. Beautiful wife, accomplished children, lovely home, incredibly responsible job, and a whole community of people who believed he was invincible. It was sometimes overwhelming… being Superman.” She shrugged. “Here with me, he was just Doc. He didn’t have to be wise or clever or responsible for anything at all. It was wrong and imperfect, but he needed a little imperfection in his life.”

Heat began to rise in my cheeks.

Is this woman kidding?

“
That’s
your story? Seriously? Life with me was too
perfect,
so he had to start fucking you? Unfreakin’ believable.” I snorted. “That’s pretty clever. Do you suppose he used that same line with all the others?” I threw my hands up in disgust and started to push up out of the chair. I’d heard enough.

“
He wasn’t a serial cheater, Julie. There were no others.”

“
Oh? Would you like to bet your winery on that?”

“
In a heartbeat.” Her expression remained composed as she gazed at me. “He adored you and he cared for me. He needed you, but he also needed me.”

I sat back in the chair, watching her face, the loving light that shone in her eyes as she talked about
my
husband. Her teeth worried her lower lip—it was obvious she was fighting tears. With a shaky breath, she rose, hands clenched at her sides.

“
Forgive him, okay? He and I had nothing to do with
your
marriage. I took nothing from you. He worshipped you. I was… an… oasis. Nothing more.” She swallowed hard. “If I’d pressed him to make a choice, he wouldn’t even have had to think about it. I didn’t because I was nuts about him. And I was selfish and willing to take any time I could have with him.”

“
You’re wrong. You took everything from me!” I cried. “You took my life. Everything I believed was true for thirty-two years is gone now, can’t you see that? I thought we had the perfect marriage, but—”

“
I’m sorry you see it that way, but that’s the rub, isn’t it? Nothing’s ever perfect. You don’t have to forgive me, but you need to forgive Charlie and move on. He’d want you to be happy, Julie. It’s over. Let it go.” She left then, simply walked away.

I sat in the warm afternoon sun for a while, trying to process what had just happened. My husband
’s mistress asked me to forgive him for cheating—with her. That took class. Maybe I wasn’t the only one who’d lost someone dear when Charlie died, and Emily had never even had the chance to say goodbye.

What an inane path my mind was taking. Why was
I
feeling sorry for
her
? My emotions were in such a turmoil, I had no idea anymore what I was feeling. I came to the winery loaded for bear, ready to knock this cheating little bitch into the next county. But I hadn’t been prepared for this dignified woman.

When I walked back into the winery, Will was waiting, and Emily was
once again behind the tasting bar. As I passed, she inclined her head ever so slightly. I nodded in return and walked right past Will and out the door. But I saw her blinking back tears as she served her customers, and my heart ached a little.

EIGHTEEN

Emily
’s mournful face haunted me as we headed back to the city.

A fiery sunset painted the sky ahead gorgeous shades of red, pink, and orange as Will and I drove west out of the foothills. The day had worn me out, and I rode silently, watching the trees and rocks go by. My head lolled back against the leather seat as I struggled to keep my eyes open. With a jerk, I snapped to attention.

“We’re about two hours from the city,” Will said. “Why don’t you go ahead and shut your eyes for a while? Get some rest.”

“
I don’t want to sleep,” I replied in tone sharper than I intended.

“
Well then, just recline your seat a bit and get comfortable.”

As he patted my knee, I could see that he was approaching me very cautiously. I hadn
’t told him anything about my encounter with Emily at Tuckaway, and he hadn’t asked.

I took his advice, pulled the lever, and let the seat back. I hadn
’t been this emotionally drained since the days after Charlie’s funeral. The scene at Tuckaway replayed as an endless loop in my head, always coming back to her face, lip quivering, eyes filled with unshed tears.

Why the hell am I feeling sorry for
her?

She
’d tried to steal my husband. She’d cheated with him for years. She was a whore, a self-centered bitch who had no respect for marriage vows. A home wrecker—

A
home wrecker?

The words echoed in my brain. My conscience nudged me.

Whose home did she wreck? And she’s no whore, you saw that immediately.

I had to admit that Emily Tucker didn
’t seem like the kind of woman who’d go after another woman’s husband. Any more than Charlie Miles had seemed like a man who’d be unfaithful. If anything, meeting Emily had confused me even more.

Goddam
n you, Charlie. You couldn’t even screw around like a normal guy. So typical. You had to do it elegant and with someone I might’ve liked if things were different. You bastard… .

Releasing a frustrated breath, I yanked the seat lever and sat up straight again, focusing on the scenery around us.

“You okay over there?” Will took his eyes off the road long enough to give me a wary smile.

Poor guy. He
’d borne the brunt of my wrath since I’d discovered Charlie’s secret, and he only wanted to help me deal with it. Wrinkling my nose, I returned the smile. “I’ve been a bitch to you lately. You’re a nice guy, you don’t deserve that. I’m sorry.”

“
What’s the old line? Love means never having to say you’re sorry?” He offered the infamous words from
Love Story
with a goofy grin.

Laughter bubbled up inside me, and I didn
’t try to stop it. Catching his eye, I snickered, then let go.

Will cracked up too, chuckling as he drove.

Pretty soon, my sides ached and tears rolled down my face. I had no idea why I was laughing so hysterically, it wasn’t even that funny. I gulped in deep breathes trying to control it and before I knew it, the laughter turned to sobs. Suddenly I was weeping uncontrollably.

Will scanned the highway up ahead for someplace to pull over as I lost it in the seat beside him. He took the next exit and careened into a spot in the far corner of a McDonald
’s parking lot.

As soon as he stopped the car, I jumped out. I didn
’t get any farther than the front of the car before I doubled over. My heart hurt so bad I was certain it was literally breaking. Finally, I pulled up to a standing position and hiccupping back more tears, rubbed my wet cheeks with my palms.

He leaned against the front fender, gazing at me, his hands fisted at his sides, his expression unreadable.

I took a deep shaky breath. “Sorry.” Accepting the napkin he handed me, I blotted my eyes and face.

“
No need to apologize.” He gave my shoulder an awkward pat, clearly unsure of what I wanted him to do. That uncertainty lasted all of half a second as I launched myself at him and his arms enfolded me.

“
Thank you, Will.” I twined my arms around his neck.

“
For what?” He tugged me close, wrapping his arms around me in the chill of the northern California dusk.

“
For… being here. For always being a friend when I need one.”

“
A
friend
?”

“
You know what I mean.” Heat suffused my cheeks as I ducked my head.

“
Yeah, I guess I do.” With the slightest hesitation, he pressed a soft kiss to my lips. When he lifted his head, something almost like sadness showed in his expression. He hurt for me. He really was the kindest man I’d ever known.

I pulled back to rest my head on his shoulder, and we stood together in the headlights before I
drew away to peer into his face. “I need to go home.”

“
Okay, we’re on our way.” One last squeeze and he released me. “It’ll be a couple of hours before we’re back at the hotel.” He cocked his head toward the restaurant. “Do you want some food before we hit the road?”

“
No, I mean
home
. I need to go back to Willow Bay.”

I
had to talk to Carrie. If anyone could make sense of the mess I’d discovered, it was my dear friend. The need for her was so urgent, I booked an early morning flight on my phone as he drove us back into San Francisco.