Shackles of Honor (20 page)

“You and I have already shared our last kiss, Gabrielle,” he told her, much to Cassidy’s surprise.

Gabrielle laughed airily and smiled. “Poppycock, Mason. Now do as you’re told
,
and kiss me.” Hastily Gabrielle took Mason’s handsome face between her hands and made to kiss his mouth.
Mason quickly turned his face from her
,
and she managed only to kiss him on the cheek. Cassidy watched, still skeptical of his determination.
Mason firmly yet gently pushed Gabrielle away—turning to face her once more with nothing but conviction apparent in his expression.

“We must sever this association. It is done, Gabrielle. And it was done the moment I left
Carlisle
for Terrill.” His words were stern, his voice seemingly void of emotion.

“Sever?” Gabrielle exclaimed. “Postpone temporarily. Perhaps recess! But not sever!” She was angry.
The hurt that was beginning to throb in her veins was obvious. Her pleading eyes would be irresistible to the strongest of men, and Cassidy was sure Mason could not deny her, could not possibly deny such loveliness. Yet Cassidy noted the deep inhalation by Mason that indicated resolve. “You belong to me, Mason Carlisle,” Gabrielle stated. “This…this irritant will pass. You don’t really intend to marry the trollop?”

“I do. And really
,
Gabrielle…it’s well you know that she is hardly a trollop. Please ease the dramatics. My loyalty to my mother’s wishes
,
my duty to my father
,
and my honor demand that I fulfill this marriage agreement. I’ll not turn my back to it.” Mason spoke the words plainly and with great firmness.

Gabrielle’s breathing increased
,
and Cassidy sensed that the woman’s heart was breaking, that she was furious and barely restraining her desire to erupt verbally as well.

“She is quite beautiful. I’ll give you that. But is this creature you have agreed to marry at your mother’s insistence…is she as beautiful as I?” The resentment toward Cassidy, whom Gabrielle had seen but twice, was all too apparent in the emotion of her voice.

Cassidy found herself anxious. She wanted to hear Mason’s answer to Gabrielle’s question yet at the same time dreaded it.

“That is irrelevant,” was all he said.

“I beg to differ, darling,” Gabrielle spat. The pain on the woman’s face caused Cassidy to wince
,
and the same growing pain in Gabrielle’s voice stung Cassidy’s own ears. After all, it wasn’t Gabrielle’s fault that Mason had been thus betrothed for these many years. Yet it was obvious that she had known of it. “It’s quite relevant,” Gabrielle maintained, “for you see…you’ve given me up far too easily.” The first tears of increasing, unendurable heartbreak escaped Gabrielle’s eyes and trickled down her cheeks. “I can only assume, then, that this child you have brought back
—
for you told me yourself that she is but seventeen
—
I can only conclude, therefore, that she must be far more beautiful by your perception than by mine.”

“As I said, Gabrielle,” Mason began, “her beauty or lack of it is irrelevant. It is but my honor that
—
”

“Oh! Hang your honor, Mason!” Gabrielle cried out. “You wouldn’t give me up…if you…if you truly care for me. Oh, I know that you’ve been telling me for ever so long that this day would come, Mason. But…but I never thought it really would…or at least that you would truly follow through with this…this farce!”

“I do care for you, Gabrielle. And we have been nothing if not good friends. At your own admission
,
you knew this would come. You knew that I
—
”

“But I did not know I could love you so desperately,” she interrupted quietly.

Mason winced as if something undesirable had only just pressed upon his pallet. “Gabrielle, please, don’t
—
”

“You’ve never said as much to me, Mason. That is true. But I do love you. And I will do anything to keep a part of you within my grasp.” Gabrielle turned from him for a moment
,
and Cassidy watched as she took a deep breath and straightened her posture. “I have considered on this for some time, Mason. There’s an answer for us—an alternative.”

“There is no ‘us,
’
Gabrielle. I think you’ve sensed the change in my feelings at least for some time. You must understand now that
—
”

“I will be mistress to you, Mason.” Cassidy had to put her hand over her mouth to stop the astonished gasp that wanted to be heard. Whirling back around to face him, Gabrielle rushed forward, clutching his shirt in her hands, her eyes pleading with his. “If I cannot have your name…at least I will have you.”

Mason tugged at Gabrielle’s hands until she released his shirt. He held her trembling fists as she hung her head before him and sobbed. “A man who takes a woman to mistress does not love her. And that is truth.” His statement was spoken in an understanding, gentler tone. “And you don’t truly mean that. You would never follow through with such an idea. Furthermore, were I immoral enough that such considerations would even enter my head…were I enough of a devil to contemplate on such infidelity…still, I care too much for you, Gabrielle, to so fully pollute your soul. You know I would never lend myself to such iniquity, and I know the same is true for you.”

Gabrielle sniffled and sobbed, shaking her head, not wanting to take in what he had told her. “I would do it, Mason
. T
o have you I would.” She paused, her tear-stained face frantic in its pleading expression. She was a woman whose heart was breaking. “Is it then, Mason
,
any less wrong for you to take that child to your bed solely because it is legal in the eyes of the law?”

Cassidy could discern the tightness in the set of Mason’s mouth. His jaw was firmly clenched in the moments before he spoke. “Hang the law, Gabrielle. It’s legal in the eyes of
h
eaven’s morality. That makes all the difference
,
and well you know it.”

Cassidy trembled uncontrollably as she studied briefly the powerful body of Mason Carlisle, the almost heartless expression on his face
,
and the cold, dark depths of his eyes. In merely the span of a few months she would be at his mercy, expected to sacrifice herself to his will. She wondered for a moment what it would be like to be the object of his attentions, to be in his arms so intimately. Gabrielle’s next words interrupted Cassidy’s anxious thoughts.

“You’ll not draw satisfaction from your marriage to her on any grounds, Mason. She’s incapable of being your equal
,
and you need a strong woman, a woman who answers every aspect of your character and being…a woman who does not fear you, does not grovel at your feet like a tamed kitten. Strength in a woman is what you need—strength, beauty
,
and desire.” Once again Gabrielle put her hand to Mason’s cheek. Her gaze was that of nothing less than a desperate attempt at seduction.

“Then you have only confirmed that you’re not the woman I need, Gabrielle. For you’ve criticized me for my moral value, for my adherence to the duties of honor. These are perhaps the only admirable qualities I own.” He fairly glared at her as he growled the words.

“You’re not impervious to human weakness, Mason. You will change your mind. I know you will.” She dropped her hand from his frowning face and wiped at the tears on her cheeks with the back of one gloved hand.

“If you can think that of me, Gabrielle…then you’ve known nothing of me these many years.” They stood facing each other, the man glaring and the woman sobbing, an expression of intense loss on her lovely countenance. “I promise you that I will not change my mind. As well I promise that you will. I’m not the man for you. Whether by my own hand or that of fate…it’s not me that you truly want.”

“Curse you,” she muttered, her body wracked with violent sobbing. “Curse your honor and duty
,
y
our morality in spirit and body.” Inhaling deeply once more, she straightened her posture as she looked at him. “I wish you to know that I openly mock this girl you intend to wed. I gladly will watch her suffer. And she will suffer. For though she may possess your name
,
though your posterity may be born of her
,
though she may at times possess your attentions, your desire…she will not possess your heart. And without your heart, you’ll never truly be hers. In that knowledge…she’ll live a lifelong agony, an affliction of the soul.”

“Curse me if you will,” he growled, even more angry than before. “But don’t revel in such assumption, for the girl fairly trembles in frustration, anger
,
and trepidation at the mere sight of me. So do not attempt to render comfort to your mind and heart by supposing that her pride will be as broken as yours is this moment.”

“You heartless brute,” Gabrielle whispered, struggling to calm herself. “You accuse me of seeking after your position and wealth, do you not?” Pulling a small handkerchief from the cuff of her sleeve, she dabbed at the tears on her cheeks. “Wed her then.” She straightened her posture once more and looked at him defiantly. “Wed her and take her into your bed. And each time you take the child into your arms, you’ll see in her eyes of whatever color they may be her yearning to own your heart. You must at least care for me, and you will think of me and how much more delightsome it would have been were it me there.”

“You’re mistaken in that, Gabrielle. Vastly mistaken.” It was apparent that he was vexed with her hardness of words and perhaps the intimacy of the subject. Cassidy could see the anger in his eyes—the emotion that dominated his existence. “I’ve wounded you
,
and I am sorry. I…I truly didn’t realize that you felt so strongly. I hope that inasmuch as you have the grace not to resent and produce consequence of it toward this girl I must marry…I would hope that you have as much grace to forgive me. Someday.”

“Such grace in forgiveness may not exist.” Turning from him, Gabrielle fled through the garden and out of sight.

Cassidy stood watching as Mason closed his eyes. Raising one powerful hand to his temples
,
he let go a heavy sigh of discouragement and strode angrily away through the dense rose garden. Cassidy was left alone and able to breathe more easily. Instantly Cassidy sank to her knees and buried her face in her hands. It was all too overwhelming! She had herself witnessed their secret rendezvous. If there had been any doubt in her mind prior to witnessing them together
—
any minuscule grain of doubt that they were perhaps only acquaintances and not lovers
—
whatever doubt may have existed was banished brutally by what she had seen and overheard.

Certainly, Mason seemed to be well intentioned. After all, he had told Gabrielle that their relationship was at an end. However, he was obviously a masculine, powerful young man
,
and what man of normal breeding could resist Gabrielle Ashmore?

And they had shared kisses. They had spoken of it and shared in each other’s affections. She could only wonder how deeply. Mason Carlisle’s kiss! It was astounding and quite difficult to even try to imagine his kissing at all. Cassidy wondered—were his kisses mean, powerfully demanding
,
or gently passionate?

Fairly leaping to her feet, Cassidy shook her head violently, attempting to rid herself of such thoughts. It was unendurable to envision Mason with another woman, especially Gabrielle Ashmore! Walking was her only escape, and she did for long hours. The sun rose high in the sky before she finally stopped pacing about the massive gardens. She reached the banks of a lovely, large lake. Several beautiful and graceful swans floated serenely over the water’s surface. Cassidy approached a young willow tree providing shade nearby. Sitting down in the soft, fragrant grasses beneath, she leaned back against the firm trunk.