Shadow (Defenders MC Book 1) (10 page)

22

Lawless leaned against the rough wall near where Shadow sat trying to breathe and looked down at his brother with a grin. 

“Well you sure as shit ain’t got a clue about women.  You all but told Lacey that skanky whore mattered more to you than she does.  Confirmed it real nice for her.”

Shadow looked up and frowned.

Lawless nodded still wearing a look that told Shadow he was enjoying it all too much.  Ink and Moose wore similar expressions of disapproval.

“I just wanted to get her to go peacefully so I could kill her somewhere else.  Nobody touches what’s mine.”  Shadow rose to his knees.

“We know that.  Lacey, the Queen of Fucking Everything, may not have seen it that way.”  Law laughed then, the sick bastard.  “Just fucking named herself nicely too.  Queen.”

“Queen.”  Ink grinned a thoughtful grin.  “I think I know how to finish that tat Shad.”

“Fuck you Ink.”

Shadow was confused and he hated the feeling.  It made his head ache and that made him grumpy.  He wanted to gut the bitch that had dared touch Lacey, but now he wanted to deal with Lacey more.  He wanted to beat her ass for kneeing him in the balls and he wanted to fuck her for proving that she did care for him a little.  He stood painfully and rubbed his hands over his face.

“Let me deal with the whore brother.  You go get your queen.”

Shadow nodded to Lawless and stalked to the door.  That damned woman was on his bike.  Fuck!  Lacey probably saw that too.  This piece was making his life hell and he hadn’t even fucked her that he could remember. 

“Off.”

“But baby, I thought we were going for a ride.”

“I was taking you out of the house to cut your fucking throat for touching my woman.  Now get the fuck off my bike before I do it right here.”

She scrambled off the bike and took off for the road as fast as she could in those stupid high heeled shoes she wore.

Shadow climbed on his bike and roared off as Lawless stepped out the door.

“Now where the fuck do you think you’re going?  I think I’ve got some time after all.  We are going to have a little fun and teach you some manners.”

Lacey had just stepped up on the porch when Angel rushed out the front door.

“Oh my God!  You kneed Shadow in the balls in the middle of the clubhouse?”

Lacey felt herself melt a little.  She nodded.  Mrs. covered her mouth and laughed.  Angel’s eyes were huge.

“Ink was trying not to laugh, but he wasn’t doing a very good job of it.  Shad is on his way here so you don’t have much time.”

“Is he pissed?”

“Umm yeah, but Ink said Lawless was impressed.  That’s something.”  Angel actually looked impressed by that herself.

“It just made me so mad.”

“He didn’t fuck her Lacey.  She was playing nurse.  You saw him.  He wasn’t fucking anybody.”

Lacey closed her eyes.  She had seen him.  She had overreacted and made a fool of herself.

“Oh God.  What have I done?”

Mrs. gathered her in her arms.  “You claimed him back honey.  For the whole club to see.”

Lacey paled.  Had she claimed him back?  Did she want that?

She had no time to think.  The roar of a Harley was growing closer and she felt her heart hit her toes.  She wanted to run.  Instead she turned and waited.

23

Shadow climbed slowly from his bike and walked to the porch.  Lacey stood with Mrs. and Angel who looked both happy and worried.  Lacey just looked sad.  He didn’t walk up the steps, he just looked up at her from where he stood.

Lacey shifted uncomfortably.  “I’m…umm…sorry for… you know.”

“Knocking my balls into my throat?”  Shad raised his eyebrows.

Lacey went wide eyed.  Shad didn’t normally joke.  She gave him the slightest grin.

“Well, you sort of deserved it.”

He nodded.  “I sort of did.”  He rubbed his hand over the back of his neck.  “Good thing I already knocked you up, cause that may be the only one you get, and that’s your own fault.”  He lifted his eyes to her again.

Lacey felt her throat close up.  Those weren’t the dead, black eyes of a killer, those were beautiful warm eyes of the man that had touched her heart.

She heard Mrs. sniffle beside her.

“What now?”

“Well that’s the thing.  I want to take you home and beat your ass for what you did and I want to take you to bed for giving a shit, but I don’t think you are ready for either.  So, I think I’ll just take you home and see what happens.  I won’t force you Lacey.  You can still trust me.  I will always keep you safe.”

Lacey nodded and walked down the steps.

“I don’t know what to do.”

Shadow looked sad, but he nodded.  “I want you to be happy.  I’m not sure I can do that.  If, when everything is settled, you want Rider…”  He closed his eyes and shook his head.  “I can’t let him claim you Lacey.  You have always been mine, but I won’t stop you from being together.”  He let out a huge breath.  “Is that fucked up?”

“Hell yes it’s fucked up!”  Angel shouted from the porch.

“Lacey, can we please go home before I kill my sister?”

Lacey laughed and Angel pouted.

“Yes.”

Shadow took her to a beautiful little house tucked into the trees.  It was made from a honey colored wood and had dark red shutters and a dark red metal roof to match.  It wasn’t overly large, but boasted a wide front porch and a pretty gabled roof.  There was a little stone path that led to the porch where there were four wide bottomed rocking chairs.  It felt homey and Lacey loved it.

“It’s amazing Marcus.”

It was the first time she had used his name since the night they had made their child and it felt right. 

“It feels like home and I haven’t been inside yet.”

“It is your home Lacey.  I worked on it every time you had to move.  I watched you to see the things you liked about the houses you lived in.  I tried to give you everything you wanted.”

He looked like a little boy giving a girl a gift.  He was almost shy and Lacey felt her heart melt for this broken man.

“Show me the inside?”

He nodded and opened the wooden door.  Lacey stepped into a cozy living room with a stone fireplace.  On the oak mantle there sat a framed picture of her parents.  She had always had that picture, somehow Shadow had made a copy.  There was a picture of a woman Lacey assumed was his mother and one of Preach and the family.  There were also pictures from her life that she had never seen before.  He had watched her grow up.  Always on the outside, never stepping in.  She turned to him and that’s when she saw it.  The picture he had taken of him kissing her in her sleep.  He had it framed and it hung on the wall between the two front windows.  Tears blurred the picture and she felt him pull her close.

“This is your home Lacey, but it’s mine too.  It’s the only place I have ever let myself see us together.  I don’t stay here much, but there will be nights that I need this place.  I won’t touch you unless you want me to, but on those nights I’d like to sleep beside you.”

Lacey was stunned.  This was his haven.  This was where he had come to be real and it had always been with her. 

“I won’t mind that.  There will be nights that I don’t want to be alone too.”  She looked up at him not knowing how to ask the question.

“Just call me Lacey.  You won’t have to ask me, just call and I will come home.”

He took a deep breath that shuttered just a little.

“I will have two prospects stay with you night and day.  You should be safe here, but I won’t take a chance.”

“I have to work Marcus.”

He shook his head.  “Preach had your doctor give you medical leave.  He has ordered bed rest.”

Lacey frowned.  “So I’m not allowed to leave here.  Am I allowed guests?”

Lacey watched as Marcus disappeared and Shadow took his place.  He didn’t belong here in this house and Lacey shivered and stepped back.

“Stop fucking doing that!”  Shadow said in the loudest voice she had ever heard him speak.

“I’m sorry.”  She was afraid of this man.  It made no sense but she feared him.

“To answer your question… You can have anyone you like visit you, but no one stays and no man touches you in my house.  You want to fuck Rider, you do it somewhere else.”

“Oh yeah Shad, I’m real attractive right now.  I’m sure Rider can’t wait to fuck a whale.  Others too!  I’m sure there will be a line down the drive!”  She snorted.  “I’m not like your little girlfriend.”

She had gone too far and she knew it when he stepped closer.

“I never touched her, but you let Rider touch you, knowing you carried my baby.”

“How did you know?  Maybe it was his baby.”

Shadow froze and a look of confusion crossed his face.  “No.  He can’t.”

Lacey frowned.

“He didn’t tell you.  Rider can’t have kids Lacey.”  Shadow looked amused.

“Oh.”

“You are planning to spend your life with a man who can’t be honest with you?  That’s a pretty big lie Lacey.”  He was quiet for a moment.  “Did he declare his love before or after you found out you were pregnant?”

Lacey ignored him.  “He was here.  He isn’t so very different from you, except he stayed.”

“I have never lied to you.”

“No, you acted like I was the mouse to your tiger.  Always watched and toyed with my life, but never shared it.  Always acknowledged that I existed, but never offered me friendship when I really could have used that.  It was a lonely life Shad.  You scared me.  I needed comfort and you always scared me.”

He looked like she had hit him.

“I still scare you.  I don’t know how to be a friend.  I’ve never really had any.  I just tried to keep you safe and stay far enough away that I didn’t scare you too much, but let you know I was there.”

“Oh Shadow.”  She stepped to him and placed her hand on his warm chest.  “Can we try to be friends?  I don’t want to be scared of you anymore.  If we are going to be together, even for a few months, I need to stop being afraid of you.”

He closed his eyes.  “You don’t have to be.  I will never hurt you.  The only people I have ever hurt were to keep you safe.  The club keeps you safe.”  He kissed her palm and pressed it against his cheek.  “Don’t be afraid of me.”

“Stop being so damned scary!  Don’t you ever smile?  Doesn’t anything make you happy?”

He looked puzzled.  “I’m happy.”

“Ok Shadow.  We will just work on being less scary.  You don’t have to do it for everybody, just for me.  Maybe just here for now.  Ok?”

She felt him relax.  “Ok Lacey.”

She looked up.  “You are safe here too Marcus.  Let me keep you safe here in our home.  Ok?”

And that’s when she saw it.  Her words broke through something inside of him.  His eyes cleared and she saw Marcus for the damaged man he was.

“You would do that for me?  After everything?”

Lacey choked on a sob.  “Oh Marcus.”  She wrapped him in her arms and cried for the boy that had hidden his fear behind a solemn mask.

“I will keep you safe, always.”

“Lacey.  I may not want to spend very many nights away from home anymore.”

He looked almost ashamed.  Lacey knew what he was asking and she knew she couldn’t deny him.

“Then don’t.  You can always come home Marcus.  Always come home to me.”

A shutter ran through him as if he were frozen and he held her close.

“I’m sorry, am I hurting the baby?”

“Not at all.”

“Lacey can I…?”

Lacey looked down at her belly and smiled.  She took his hand and placed it on her rounded tummy.

“We can find out if we want to.  Do you want to know the sex Marcus?”

“I think I want to wait Lacey, but you can if you want.”

Lacey thought of the pictures still in her purse.

“Hang on a sec.”  She dug in her purse and pulled out the pictures.  “Come over here.”

She pulled him to the brown leather sofa and sat down.  She handed him the pictures.

“What are these?”

“The baby.  The doctor did an ultrasound yesterday.”

She pointed out the spine and other body parts.  Marcus sat there stunned.  He looked up and Lacey saw the bewilderment on his face.

“We made that Lacey.  We made that little person.  You and me, we did that.”

“We did.  Are you sorry?”

He looked almost angry.  “Fuck no.  Are you?”

Lacey grinned widely.  “No.”

“I should have been there when you found out.  I’m sorry.”

“It’s ok.  You will be there for the birth.  Promise me.  Nothing will keep you from it.”

He took both her hands and looked her in the eye.  “I promise.”

His phone rang after a few minutes and he had to head back to the clubhouse.  Lacey didn’t want him to go.  He was the man that she had started falling for all those months ago and she was afraid she would lose him again, but she couldn’t keep him prisoner.  She had to trust that he would come back to her.