Shadow of the Vampire (26 page)

         
"In my lifetime, our horde has changed so dramatically. Our mission is nothing like it used to be."

         
Declan's brow tightened. "Go on."

         
"My grandmother wanted peace, worked toward developing a better world. But my mother's mind was twisted in those early days. She demolished and destroyed anything civil and created what was the first of our soldiers with Lotharus and her equally warped brother."

         
"Uthen." Declan growled the vampire's name. The very one who had attacked and almost killed his mother that night his father had saved her. Turned her.

         
"Yes. When she banished Uthen from the horde, Lotharus dug his claws into her. She hasn't been the same since." A small sigh deflated her lungs. "He's cut from the same cloth as Uthen, although he's better at hiding his maniacal genes. I don't think she knew until it was too late."

         
Declan rested his chin on her head, running his hands up and down the curve of her spine. "You don't ever have to go back there."

         
"I don't look forward to going back there."

         
They both said the words simultaneously. Declan jerked back, looking into Alexia's eyes, nearly as wide and confused as his own.

         
"But, you can't possibly go back," he said.

         
The slim column of her throat shifted with her swallow. "I'm not scared of him."

         
Declan wanted to laugh, but contained it. He reached out, smoothing a hand down the side of her face. "You don't have to pretend with me, Alexia."

         
"But I'm not..."

         
He tightened his grip, forcing her to look into his eyes. "And you can't lie to me, either."

         
A low sigh breathed out of her. "He frightens me at times. But I've never feared for my life. While my mother lives, he can't touch me. Not to mention he would be signing his death warrant if he hurt me. The vanators, the blood hunters, would be dispatched by council and he would be forced to live in exile or face death if they found him."

         
"But he's already hurt you once and gotten away with it."

         
"I told you, no one knows about that," she answered in a small voice.

         
"And why not?" he asked, hoping she would admit her fear, admit the lunacy of the idea of returning to that horrid place. "Why did you not tell your mother and have him exiled then?"

         
"You don't know what it's like to live under her shadow, to live with her turning to him for her touchstone, for everything, while berating me as a disgrace. At that time, my ascension was so close. I knew it would only be a matter of time before I became Queen and the two of them would retreat to the colony. I thought if I could just hold out until then..." Her words trailed off.

         
Declan covered his hip bones with his hands and sighed. "Do you believe he'll simply step aside and let you rule?"

         
"What other choice does he have? He may have delusions of grandeur now. But our horde is run by females, not men. That is the way it is." She exhaled and tightened her arms around herself. "And as of tomorrow, I'll be the new Queen. The new ruler. I'll be in charge of ensuring his tyranny ends."

         
She gazed up at him with a look that told him he would not like what she said next. "And now you know why I'm going back."

         
Damn. He couldn't swallow, couldn't speak. Not at the thought of her walking out of his life, walking back into the role of his enemy. Taking in a breath, he forced his throat to open, forced the words to come.

         
"Alex." He took her hands in his, licking his suddenly parched lips. "I hope you know, you don't have to go back."

         
Alexia looked up, her gaze meeting his. Goddess, he believed that. Although his eyes had darkened, appearing indigo in the low light of his chamber, she could still read them plain as day. He believed she could stay here, with him.

         
"We both know that isn't possible."

         
"Why not?"

         
Alexia let out a mirthless chuckle. "Aside from all I just named?"

         
He shrugged and her mouth slackened.

         
"For one, everyone here hates me. Not that I can blame them."

         
"No one hates you. No one knows you," he said as he stepped up to wrap his arms around her waist. "If it makes you feel any better, I used to hate you."

         
Alexia smiled at his attempt to make her feel better, but it quickly faded when the truth settled thick and heavy around her once more. His smile fled, too. A large hand cupped her cheek, brushing across her cheekbone.

         
"They don't know you, Alex. Once they do, I'm certain all will work out."

         
Alexia shook her head, her cheek rubbing against his palm. "Even if any of that mattered, even if I could stay, I'm a vampire, not a dragon. I don't belong here," she said.

         
Hands gripped her upper arms, forcefully but not hard enough to hurt, just to get her attention. "Yes, you do. You belong with me."

         
The heart that had blossomed in her chest only a few days ago now withered in pain. Didn't he understand that no matter how her heart longed to stay with him, she had to go? A strangled gasp hurdled out of her before she could keep it in. He bent down and quickly caught it with his lips. Took it inside himself as if he wanted to take all her pain, all her suffering into him. As his lips caressed hers, she could all but taste how much he wanted her.

         
"Stay," he said against her lips when they pulled away, even though she'd read the message loud and clear without words. "Stay with me."

         
"Declan, I--" She wanted to stay, she really did. The thought of spending the remainder of her days, alone and isolated in the catacomb walls, made her heartsick. But it was her destiny. "I can't."

         
The expression on his face took the strength from her legs, so she turned away and looked into the fire. "Goddess, why is this so hard? I know what I have to do. But my world has turned upside down since you came into it. I feel off balance, like I'm teetering on an edge that any minute will shift and slip out from under me."

         
Hands covered hers, squeezing. Instantly, she recalled the last time he'd held her so, before Lotharus had come into the dungeon and clipped his wing. The suffocating agony and pain of those horrific moments washed over her anew. The thought of losing him then had nearly killed her, yet here she was living the moment all over again.

         
"It's the same for me." The deep timbre of his voice cut through her dark thoughts. Alexia lifted her gaze to his. Hope, emotion and anxiety swam in his eyes.

         
"But I hear that's what's supposed to happen when..."

         
He swallowed and lowered his gaze to the floor.

         
Tears stung her eyes. Ashamed at her weakness, at her utter inability to know what to do, what to say, she closed her eyes and moved to turn away. However, his hands covered her shoulders, stilling her movements.

         
They slid up her neck, his long fingers curling around her nape before he cupped her cheeks, tilting her up to his face. Although frightened of what she'd see, she opened her eyes. The look of utter misery in his eyes mirrored every emotion raging through her.

         
The tears that had been threatening finally fell free.

         
Not wanting him to see, Alexia leaned forward, burying her face against his warm chest. His arms instantly closed around her, his chin resting on her head.

         
At the realization she was crying, actually crying, and in front of him, deeper, harder sobs racked her body. She'd always held her emotions inside her, guarded and hidden where no one could see them. Now Declan could see everything. Even the deepest secrets she held close to her soul. The enormity of it only made the dam crack open wider, the tears flow harder, faster.

         
His body shifted as he bent his head to hers. Warm lips brushed her temple before pressing against it. And then his voice, low and strong, began whispering words she couldn't hear over the sound of her sobs. But the soothing tone comforted her nonetheless. The rhythmic feel of his hands sliding up and down her back in a reassuring glide caused the shaky muscles to calm.

         
Soon, the tears quit falling. Air once again flowed into her lungs and with a final shuddering sigh, she stopped.

         
Declan did not make a move to release her, though. If anything, he held her tighter. For the first time in her life, she didn't try to push someone away. Instead, she clung to him and burrowed her head against his chest, praying he'd never let her go.

         
That she wouldn't let him.

         
TALLON STEPPED into the chamber, lit by only the faint glow of embers from the fireplace. Crossing her arms over her chest, she walked to the bed and cocked her head. She regarded the blond vampire lying so carefree and peaceful in her brother's bed. What used to be her parents' bed. Parents this fanged demon no doubt helped kill.

         
Folding the tattered, calf-length brown sweater in front of her chest, Tallon squatted. Digging into the only pocket without a hole in it, she pulled out a dime-size silver disc. She set it in her palm, warming it between her hands before peeling off the backing and placing it behind the blond bitch's ear.

         
"Try walking out of here with his heart now, vampire."

         
"Tallon, what are you doing in here?"

         
At Declan's voice, she stood and whipped around. "I came to see you."

         
He looked like he didn't believe her, but resumed walking toward his desk. A towel was slung low over his hips and his hair hung in wet strands around his shoulders, dripping rivers of water down his bare chest. A chest that bore more scars and welts than it had four days ago.

         
"About what?" he said, bringing a steaming coffee mug to his lips.

         
Tallon nodded over her shoulder, toward the sleeping Alexia. "As if I need to say it aloud."

         
"Falcon's already chewed my ass. Are you here for the other cheek?"

         
"How can you joke about this?"

         
His eyes fell to the floor. The evidence of guilt on his face was enough to send her storming up to stand toe-to-toe with him. "What you're doing is putting this flock at risk. Huge risk."

         
He set the cup down. "I know."

         
"Obviously you don't, else you wouldn't have brought her here."

         
"She was injured."

         
Tallon tossed her arms to the side. "So? Let her die. She's the Queen's daughter, next in line for the throne. As we speak, the council is talking about going back to defeat them, and to plan her death."

         
His head snapped up. The sharp rage in his eyes took her by surprise. "You'll all leave her out of this."

         
Tallon frowned. "What is with you? What don't you get? She's next in line. She's knee-deep, Dec."

         
"Tallon, I know what you're going to say...."

         
"Like the rest of them, she wants to exterminate us."

         
"No, she doesn't. She's been following orders, nothing more."

         
"Um, yeah," Tallon sassed. "Orders from her mother."

         
He bit down so hard his jaw muscles visibly clenched.

         
Nostrils flaring, he ran a hand over the top of his wet scalp. Tallon took in his body language with interest.

         
He was nervous, irritated. She flicked her gaze to the bed and he instinctively moved his body to block the vampire from her view. Protective. A sudden ball of dread sank in her gut.

         
"The covenant our ancestors wrote, Declan. What you're thinking about, if not what you've already done, is forbidden. You can't mate with her."

         
"I know that."

         
"She's a vampire."

         
"I know."