Shadow Walker (25 page)

Dean frowned. “I told you this wasn’t going to be easy,” he whispered.

“I know. I just didn’t realize how difficult this would be to explain to a child.”

He nodded, watching the little dog and little girl. “That’s Whiz and Sarah-Elizabeth. Terry bought him for Christmas two years ago, and it took them like a week to come up with a name for him. Terry said after a two a.m. half hour piss session he named him Whiz. Said he’d never seen a dog urinate so much.” Dean laughed and shook his head, remembering more than just the one story from the look in his eyes.

Taking a deep breath, he switched off the ignition and sat for a moment.

The little girl and dog ran to the door. Amber could hear her holler for her mother. Once she appeared at the screen door and looked out, Dean nodded and stepped out of the car.

Debra had been drying her hands on a dishtowel. Her initial smile made a slow turn into a frown. She walked down the three short stairs of the front porch.

Once the little girl realized who it was, she came barreling across the lawn. Squealing with delight when Dean swung her around twice, he stopped and tapped his cheek. She placed a prompt kiss there and wrapped her arms around his neck.

“Dean?” Debra forced a smile that didn’t touch her eyes when she neared.

After setting Sarah-Elizabeth down, he stood up. She embraced him, and he kissed her cheek. “Hey Deb.”

Her gaze connected with Amber’s over his shoulder, and the Tigress flushed.

“And who might this be?” Debra’s genuine smile returned.

Dean grinned, reaching for her hand. “This is Amber, my girlfriend.”

“I thought
I
was your girlfriend.” Sarah-Elizabeth pouted, looking up at Amber.

She winked at the little girl. “You’ll always be the first.”

Debra laughed. “I just finished cooking dinner and was on my way to call these two in. Are ya’ll hungry?” Her gaze fell to the box in Amber’s hands, and she swallowed.

Clearing his throat, Dean nodded. “Yeah, we need to talk.”

“Momma, can Whiz and I play for just a couple more minutes?” the little girl asked, throwing a ball for the little terrier to tear after.

“It may be for the best,” Dean whispered when Debra failed to answer.

Amber watched realization sink into the woman’s eyes when they connected with hers again. Her nod was slow when she turned to her daughter. “S-sure baby, just-just a few more minutes.”

“Yes!” She ran off giggling with the little dog.

Debra led them into the house. With each step, she trembled a little more. Stopping in the quaint little living room, without turning she stated, “He’s not coming home, is he?”

“Deb…” Dean held his hands out for the box. Amber handed it over and shoved her hands into her back pockets, uncomfortable with the situation. “I am so sorry…”

The woman’s shoulders bowed forward under her grief, and she struggled hard not to break down. “He told me if anything happened to him, you would be the one to show up…and that you’d be carrying a small box.” She turned to them, tears running down her cheeks. “He’s in the box, isn’t he?”

“Yes, and he went doing what he does best. Saving lives.”

She bit her lip, looking away from the box, trying to stifle the sob.

“He will always be a hero.”

Debra clenched her jaw. “What is the memory of a hero going to do for Sarah-Elizabeth? I thought this was over when he left the military, Dean.”

“It was ingrained in him, like it is in me. It’s who we
are
. You knew that. Just because we weren’t active duty didn’t mean we didn’t apply those same tactics to what we do now. He helped save the life of
my
family this time.”

She blinked up at him. “Your family?”

Dean nodded and looked down at the box. “Know without a doubt I would do the same for him. You and Sarah-Elizabeth…have been like a family to me, too. Terry talked about you all the time. Even Whiz. We know
all
the stories. And we can help to tell her the stories that were Terry’s. So she can know and understand what a truly good man and
hero
her father was.”

* * * *

It was a difficult evening. Neither ate much of the dinner that had been prepared. Sarah-Elizabeth, only four, had difficulty understanding just
why
Daddy wasn’t coming home. She’d sat on the couch cuddled with the dog, leaned against her mother’s side. After a while, the little girl crawled over into Dean’s lap and fell asleep.

Watching how he was with her tore at Amber’s heart. He stroked the child’s cheek and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead before carrying her off to bed.

“Knowing this could happen…how can you stay with him?” Debra asked once he’d disappeared from view.

Amber moistened her lips and let out a breath. “Dean and I lead…similar lives. I—I don’t work for his company, but I do some of the same…stuff.”

She scoffed and shook her head. “Have you no family?
Anyone
that would miss you?”

Leaning forward, Amber gave the other woman a small smile. “I found them where I am now. If it hadn’t been for Dean’s company…I wouldn’t be alive today. Terry was one of the men who helped save my life about five years ago. I—I know this isn’t much of a consolation for you Debra, but he saved countless lives…and so many more who will never know he had a hand in their safety. Your husband truly
was
a hero.”

Nodding, the woman stifled another sob. “I don’t know what I’m going to do without him.”

Dean came back into the room, handed her a tissue, and knelt down next to her. “We will do whatever we can to help. Bills, groceries, college for Sarah-Elizabeth, we’ll take care of it. Just give us a call, you have Laveaux’s card, and you have my number.” He patted her hand. “Can we come back tomorrow?”

Sniffling, she wiped her nose and nodded again. “Yes, we’d like that.”

He hugged her when she saw them to the door. “We’re staying just down the road at the Six. Call if you need anything.”

When she climbed into the passenger seat and buckled up, Amber wrapped her arms around her stomach and looked over at Dean. “Please…I don’t ever want to have to do this again.” Tears burned her eyes.

He sighed and started the car. “I don’t either, but Terry and I go way back. We were in the Marines together, and I couldn’t let anyone else do this. I was his best man when he and Debra were married. If it weren’t for me, he’d never have joined the Guardians.”

“That poor little girl…” Amber shook her head.

They drove in silence to the hotel. She looked out the window at the slight glimpses of the ocean as they passed. The crescent moon shone dimly in its surface reminding her that in a few weeks another of her fears would be met head on.

* * * *

The sun rose to reveal a bright and beautiful morning. Amber smiled when she rolled over and looked at Dean, still sleeping. He looked so peaceful.

When they’d gotten to their room the night before they’d showered together and spent the next few hours exploring one another. Making the day into something a little more tolerable before settling into sleep. At first she had felt guilty enjoying pleasure considering the news they’d just had to give but realized it was just another part of life. It moved on whether we wanted it to or not.

“Morning,” Dean said, drawing her from the reverie.

She laid her head on his shoulder, curling close.

He wrapped his arms around her. “I was thinking…maybe you and I should move in together.”

She sputtered, frowning at him. “M—my place is too small. I don’t know how we’d manage it—”

Looking in her eyes, he smoothed an unruly curl behind her ear. “I want to build us a house.”

Her heart knocked against her ribs. “For us?”

“Yes. I love you, Amber. I want a place where we can both be comfortable. Where we each have our
own
space. Though being on top of each other all the time isn’t that bad…” He grinned and gave her a tender kiss. “So what do you think? Will you…shack up with me?”

Laughing, she wrapped her arms around his neck. “Yes, I’ll shack up with you.” Her laughter was lost beneath a scorching kiss.

After a quick continental breakfast at the hotel, they checked out and went back to spend the morning and some of the afternoon with Debra and Sarah-Elizabeth. Amber watched Dean play with the little girl. The tenderness he showed made her wonder if she was making a mistake staying with him.

Fingering the inside of her left wrist, the grim reality was, there was still no mated mark. It was clear that Dean would make a great father. What was she thinking? She took another swallow of the coffee Debra had brought out for them to enjoy.

“He’ll make a great father someday, won’t he?” Debra asked with a smile.

Amber forced a smile and nodded, watching them roll around on the ground laughing.

On the plane ride home that evening, she watched Dean sleep. Her gaze drifted to the window and the spattering of light on the horizon below. There was too much going on in her head to sleep. Too many what ifs. She tried to keep it all reined in so Dean wouldn’t be full of questions later.

Halfway through the red-eye, she laid her head on his shoulder and gave herself over to mental exhaustion.

Amber heard Casey grumble upstairs in the shop. When they’d returned to Walker’s Run, Braedyn had turned one of the old stores into a photography studio for Casey. It had taken them nearly three weeks to get everything from the Los Angeles workshop. She, Dori, and Casey had spent the last week arranging and rearranging the new studio. The basement even housed a dark room for the old fashioned developing her friend enjoyed on occasion.

Coming up from the basement she saw the look on Casey’s face when she dropped onto one of the stools. “Oh God, what now?”

“I don’t think I like it this way either,” she complained.

“
Please
tell me we are not going to rearrange this
again
!” Dori shook her head and motioned around the store. “Everything is in good order, easy to find. Quit griping about it and just be happy already!”

Casey sighed and shrugged her shoulders.

“Quit being such a damned grump,” Amber said, taking up the stool next to her. “I think
my
bitchiness is starting to rub off on you.
And
your studio is six-times the size of my place.”

A grin lit up her friend’s face. “Not for much longer.”

Allowing herself a small laugh, she agreed. “You’re right. The way your dad slave-drive’s those boys, we’ll have a house by the end of the week.”

“Right next door to us, too.”

Sighing, Amber dropped her head in her hands. “What the hell am I doing Case?”

Dori, having been around them for the last few weeks, knew when to back out of the conversation. “I think I left some things in your truck, I’ll be back in a couple minutes.”

Casey looked up a moment when the door closed behind her assistant and then frowned. “My brother is building a house for you two to live in. I’m trying to figure out the problem there, and for the life of me…I’m just not seeing it.”

Shaking her head, Amber ran her fingers through her hair. “I’m
scared
.”

“Of what? Love? Commitment?”

She laughed and nodded. “Both…and wondering if Dean and I are making a mistake.” Looking down at her left wrist, it had been three more weeks and still no mark adorned it. Nothing proving they were life-mates, making it impossible for them to start a family. “What if…we’re not
meant
to be?”

Leaning over, Casey put a hand on her knee. “Come on, you can’t keep doing this to yourself.”

She pinched her eyes shut, trying to hold back the tears. “He wants children. I don’t want him to just
settle
for me. It isn’t fair to him, and I can’t take away his chances.”

Her friend slipped an arm around her shoulders. “Relax! You’re not getting married. You’re just shacking up for a bit.”

With a shake of her head, Amber pulled away. “I can’t go through with this. The longer I’m with him, the more difficult it’s going to be to leave. I never thought I would ever feel this way about someone and know I never will again. If he isn’t the one I’m meant to be with, I don’t want anyone else. But aside from how I feel, I can’t take away his right to be a father.”

“But you don’t want children,” Casey countered, cocking a brow. “What’s brought this on?”

Sighing, she looked at her feet. “When Dean and I went to talk to Terry’s family. His daughter Sarah-Elizabeth is four years old. I watched Dean play, sing, laugh, and hold her like she meant the world to him.” Tears slid down her cheeks. “He can tell me repeatedly, all he
wants
is me, but I know different. He
needs
a family, and I can’t give him that.”

“Talk to him about it, Amber. You can’t just walk away from him, not now.” Casey swallowed and shook her head. “The full moon is coming up in a couple of days, and we don’t know whether he’s going to change or not. Let this hold until it’s over. He needs you right now, in a way that Dad and I can’t fill.” She gave a humorless laugh. “As the Silver Wolf I can only mend wounds…not broken hearts.”

* * * *

Letting out a deep breath, Amber pulled into the driveway of the new home. There were about a dozen Guardians and a dozen more Weres from the pack steadily at work. The exterior was complete. The roof was done. The electric and plumbing finished, and the floor laid. The cellar was set. Sheetrock was being hung.

Parking her SUV next to the old pick-up Dean drove, she slipped out and struggled to rein in her emotions. She prided herself on being able to keep them and her doubts in check when around him of late. It wasn’t easy being around an empath.

“Lady of the house!” one of the guys shouted when she entered.

Amber laughed and shook her head, amazed at what they’d managed in two weeks’ time. “My Gods…you guys will be done in no time!” she commented when Dean came out of the kitchen.

Walking over, he grinned and gave her a hug and quick peck. “Hey babe. How are you?”