Shadowborn (12 page)

I laughed, a dark burst of sound. “You seem to have forgotten, I just saved all your asses from Parthalan, who wanted you all as slaves or dead. Either way would have suited him just fine. Would you rather be on your knees in front of him? Or, better yet, in chains?” I received only sneers in return. “I’m honoring my mother’s will, to restore peace to the fae and rectify what our people did to the humans.”

“The Unseelie are not our people!” Callandra shouted. “Let the new king clean up the old one’s mess.”

“You lazy priss. What’s the matter? Afraid of getting that French manicure dirty?” I ground my teeth together. “Have you forgotten your oath to the Goddess? Yeah, well she hasn’t. I haven’t, and I will not let you turn your back on her or the humans just because you’re lazy.”

“After today, you will have no say in what the Seelie do.” Callandra stepped into the aisle and started toward me, her deep blue eyes challenging.

The rest of the fae shouted and cheered.

Shitballs.

“Nix,”
I said through our link. “
What’s her cumhacht?”

“She can cause paralysis and blindness, though it won’t affect your Force of Will. You can choose the form the battle will take. None know we’ve been training physically. She’ll be no match for you without the use of her power. Either way, you’ll kick her ass, but I think hand to hand, no weapons at all, will be less frustrating if she gets a hit on you first.”

Did I want to challenge her without my Light? She was a scrawny little thing, and I didn’t relish the thought of being blind and paralyzed. If I couldn’t see, I risked hurting others with my Force of Will. Not to mention if I got angry enough, Parthalan’s energy might break free of its safe hold. Then we’d all be screwed.

I sighed.
“If—”

“I’m on it, Li. If I sense his energy taking over, I’ll shut you down.”

“Bring it,” I said to bitchface, who stopped and tapped the toe of her high-heeled shoe against the marble.

Callandra’s Light flared as she approached the dais.

I smiled down at her. “Put that away. We’re going to do this the old-fashioned way. It’s more sporting, don’t you think?”

She stopped. Her silver and blue streaked hair fell forward onto her narrow face. “But your
cumhacht
is supposed to be the most powerful of us all.” Arms thrust up for dramatic effect, she looked back at the other fae, some of whom shared looks of confusion. Others urged her forward with nods and hand gestures. She turned back to me. “Brothers and sisters of the Court. Look upon your queen, the one who calls us cowards. She is afraid her power does not equal mine.” Callandra laughed, the sound of it trickling into my ears like broken glass, cutting as it came.

“Don’t let her goad you, Li.”

My anger swelled, an ocean about to spill over the shore and consume all in its path. My nostrils flared, fists clenched. I tried to hold onto the energy, but it wouldn’t be contained.

“You want a taste of my power?” Dark snickers slid up my throat as jagged as barbed hooks. “So be it.”

My Light blazed around me. Hers did the same. Before she evoked her
cumhacht
, I forced my Will out, imagining her legs broken. The wet, cracking sound and the tightening of Callandra’s face as she hollered sent a thrill up my spine. She crumpled to the floor. When her thrashing stopped, her legs lay bent into a mess of bone shards and ragged flesh.

Endorphins flooded through me. Warm, dizzying, wonderful. A drunken giggle burst out, and I let it come. I searched her body with my Sight, aching to cause it more damage, to increase the pleasure billowing through me. My breath quickened along with my pulse. I could crush her heart with a thought. Cut off her air. Break her neck. The images filled me with a sense of power. I wanted more. More of her pain.

“Li,”
Nix said, breaking my reverie. “
This isn’t you. Don’t let him win.”

Parthalan. I drew in a shaking breath, climbing above the ecstasy. Goddess, what am I doing?

My heart thudded against my ribcage. All eyes stared at me, open wide and startled. The scent of terror perfumed the air.

A hot coal burned in the basement of my soul. If I expected Liam to resist the seductive lure of Unseelie power, I had to find the strength to do it, too. Liam had recently been tempted to torture his people for information the way Parthalan used to enjoy doing.

I’m stronger than this.

I cleared my throat. “Anyone else care to challenge me today?” My voice echoed back from the high ceiling, overpowering Callandra’s piteous wails. The thousands of fae before me jumped and cowered in their chairs. “Good. Get lost.”

“For Goddess’s sake, end her suffering,” an overstuffed fae said. His orange hair fell past his ears in a puff of curls that made him resemble a circus clown.

I jumped down from the dais, my hair tugging at my scalp as it flew around my head in a current of power. After kneeling beside the writhing fae, I grabbed her face and forced her to focus on me. “Do you want to die?”

Part of me begged her to say yes, but I shoved the thought out of my head.

Tears marched down her face in a steady, crystal stream. “Please, help me,” she whimpered.

“Beg me to heal you, and I will.”

Despite her pain, her eyes turned hard, and her lips pressed together in a thin line.

“Yeah. I thought so. Stay here in Dun Bray with your people and accept my rule or age like a human. It’s your choice.”

“To banish her is cruel,” the same orange-haired fae shouted. Hundreds of voices echoed him, the sound rising into a deafening racket.

I stood and glared at him. “What’s your name?”

Jaw flexing, his eyes angling down, “Thomas, my queen.”

“Would you rather I kill her, Thomas? Are you all so thick you can’t see I’m trying to let her live?”

“To age as a human is a horrible way to exist. It’s not living at all.”

“Then you’re more ignorant than I thought.” I nodded, staring at the crowd where not a single gaze met mine. “I’ll make you a deal. She’s either barred from Seven Gates forever, or Thomas can kill her without any consequences.”

Nix appeared beside me with Neve as if he’d followed the logic of my move.

“Bring clown boy down here,” I said.

My two guards brought the plump, struggling fae to stand before me.

I gestured to Callandra. “Go ahead, Thomas. Kill her.”

His shoulders slumped as he looked down at Callandra, her breath panting through pale lips. Clearly she didn’t heal as fast as some.

“Do it!”

Thomas jumped and whimpered. “Please!”

“Please what? It’s not so easy to look into those eyes and snuff out her Light, is it?” I glared at the rest of the fae, who’d all fallen silent. “Can anyone take his place? Come down here and destroy this fae you’ve known for centuries. Take her life away if it’s such a simple, insignificant thing.”

“But you are queen,” someone shouted.

“It is our way,” shouted another. “You must hold to our traditions.”

I nodded. “You’re right. I am your queen. I didn’t want the job at first, but here I am, doing my best to keep you all safe. Yet, all you do is whine. I say no more deaths. If any should challenge me, whichever of us loses is out of here for good. If any of you have a problem with that, bring your sorry asses up here and tell me now.”

Fae shifted in their seats, but other than that, silence fell over the room like a heavy blanket.

“Didn’t think so.” I turned to Nix, who gave me a blank stare. “Find someone to heal her, then get her out of here. Court adjourned. I’m going to bed.”

• • •

-Marker">h

While standing under the torrents of hot water in my shower, I started to shake over what I’d done. The thought of killing the annoying fae still lingered in my mind—a morbid fantasy that made every part of me tense like the build before the ultimate release.

The expressions of terror on the faes’ faces and the way they cowered from me caused laughter to bubble up my throat and echo against the glass. No wonder Parthalan was such a psycho. If what I experienced in that moment happened to him every time he hurt someone, even the strongest mind wouldn’t have been able to resist the seduction of that power for long.

Goddess, help me.

It was better that Liam was taking a queen. I needed to distance myself from him and from Nix. I was too dangerous, and my situation would only get worse as Parthalan regained his memory.

My heart began to shut down. That cold distance, that hardness I’d thrived on for so long, living in the wild while Parthalan had chased me, returned with a vengeance.

11

Nix knocked on my door early the next morning. He peaked his head in, wary eyes fixed on the bed. “Li?”

I stood up from the chair where I’d been for an hour, fully dressed in jeans and a T-shirt, belly full of crackers—all I could stomach. “Is Donovan here?”

“What are you doing over—”

“Are we meeting the selkies now, then?” I fired the words at him.

He opened the door and traced me up and down. “Uh … if you’re ready.”

I pushed past him, went to the transport and placed my fingers to align with the hand-shaped symbol on the white door. It slid open, and we stepped inside.

I closed my eyes during the ride down to the main level, reveling in the deadly silence I’d achieved inside my head.

“What’s going on with you?” Nix asked as we stepped out into the main hall.

I plodded across the white tile toward the door. “I need to find out what the selkies know about this Alastair guy, and Liam still hasn’t told me what happened when he and Quinn went to find the Magi.” My voice lacked emotion.

“You’re acting like you’re pissed at me again. What did I do now?”

“I’m not angry.” Though the bite of my words probably suggested otherwise.

“Then why won’t you look at me?” A tingle in my forehead let me know he searched my head.

“Get out of my mind, Nix,” I said through set teeth.

His crooked grin appeared. “I’m not afraid of you.”

“Then you’re an idiot.” I sped out the door and jogged up the cobblestone street as the window eyes of the shifters followed my progress. Inside me, numbness reigned, filling me with a blissful emptiness.
Ah, the good ole days.

Donovan and Liam chatted outside Seven Gates with Gallagher. All three turned and faced me as I approached.

“Why don’t you make it a little more obvious you’re talking about me?” I offered what I hoped to be a blank stare.

My eyes wanted to drink Liam in, his dark jeans he knew were my favorite because they showcased his fine backside, a navy V-neck T-shirt that hugged his tight waist. I pushed my attraction aside and met his stare. “Let’s get this over with.”

“Can I talk to you?” Liam asked.

“No.”

“No?” He narrowed his eyes and shifted his stance. “Just no?”

“That’s right. Just no. You and I need to talk about the Magi, and if you won’t tell me, I’ll ask Quinn.” I turned to Gallagher. “You set up the portal to the selkies’ beach, right?”

My aide tilted his head and crawled into my mind. “Yes, but—”

“But nothing. Let’s go. And get out of my effing head. If I have to tell either of you two again, you’re both fired whether the Court likes it or not.”

“You’re not even going to mention the challenge yesterday?” Donovan asked with a frown of fatherly disappointment. Of all of the fae in my company, he had the most pull over me.

I glared at the ground, riding the anger like a wave so I wouldn’t collapse under his tender voice. “I handled it. End of story.”

“You know, they’re not going to stop, Lila,” Liam said, sadness tugging at his voice. “You need to take a consort.” The words sounded like they strangled him as he spoke.

“I scared the hell out of them all yesterday.”
Including myself
. “Nobody else will challenge me.” I glared at Liam. “I will not let the Court push me into getting knocked up just to protect my ass. I can do that fine on my own. If you had balls enough, you’d do the same.”

Liam recoiled as if I’d hoofed him in the danglies.

Nix stepped around my father to face me, his footsteps soft against the stone. All of them did, making no motion to leave.

“Lila has locked herself away again,” Nix said.

I took a sharp inhale. “Shut your mouth.”

“She hurt Callandra, and her dark energy made her enjoy it. She thinks she’s becoming Parthalan, and she’s afraid of hurting one of us.”

Most of all, Liam.
My silent revelation stuck pins in my heart. “How dare you?” I ran to the portal and emerged on a sunny beach, hoping Nix hadn’t caught my final thought. Why couldn’t I stop loving the one I couldn’t have? Why couldn’t he turn away from me, tell me he didn’t want me anymore so I could have a good cry and let him go?

My Light flared to life—the Unseelie sort. I grabbed a tree at the edge of the sand and pushed my rage into it. That or it would have chewed me up and spit me out. The tree splintered and shot projectiles everywhere. Some pierced other trees behind it. Others pierced my flesh.

By the time the others arrived, I resembled a bloody porcupine that had gone a few rounds with a meat grinder.

“What the hell did you do?” Liam leapt at me, but I stepped away, breathing through the delicious pain that took my concentration away from other hurts I couldn’t deal with.

“Hold still, or I’ll bind you.” Nix approached, lips pressed into a stern line.

“Touch me, and I’ll break your fingers. Any of you.” I swept my hand over all of them and started yanking out shards of wood with the other. Small grunts escaped to go along with the burning pain.

“She means it this time,” Nix said. “For fuck’s sakes, Li. Let us help you.”

“Stay away from me.” I looked right at him while I searched for our temporary connection in my mind. One thought severed it and took his warm presence from me, leaving me even colder than I was.

Nix’s palms went to his forehead. “Why did you do that?” To Gallagher, he said, “She broke the link.”