Shadowstorm (The Shadow World Book 6) (41 page)

Nico managed a nod, but his thoughts were in a whirl as the current of energy reached him, lapping silently at the boundaries of his soul, asking without words for consent. Again, he nodded. The tide came in.

It wasn’t dramatic, and as Deven had said, it didn’t fix anything. But that wasn’t his responsibility.

“Yes it is,” Deven said in a whisper touched deeply with sorrow. He lifted his hand, but didn’t take it away; it lay back down on Nico’s head and stroked the remains of his hair. “I did this to you, after you gave everything for me. I cannot begin to atone for the last two years, Nico. I expect nothing from you. All I ask is that you let me help when I can, now that I can. Just don’t shut down. You’ve seen what happens then.”

“I don’t know if I can survive this,” Nico said in a hoarse, hollow voice.

“Of course you can. I know you don’t see it now…but you, my love, are stronger than I could hope to be. And you’re not alone. As long as you don’t shut us out, you’ll have all the help you need.”

My love. He called me ‘my love.’ He called me…

Unexpectedly—but perhaps not—tears overcame the Weaver, and then he fell into helpless sobs, face buried in the pillow while the combined misery of the last few days, even the parts he couldn’t remember, flooded his heart.

And sure enough, through the storm and all around him, he felt love from all sides, holding him up, offering their strength in any way he needed it. We are here, it said in three voices.
We are your family…together we are Four…and we are unstoppable.

He cried himself to sleep with Deven sitting at his side, just being there, touching him without any sort of demand; and by the time Nico slipped back into oblivion, he was almost, almost smiling.

Chapter Seventeen

“Tell me something true.”

Deven looked at her over the rim of his coffee cup, pondered a moment, and said, “I used to be a backup dancer for Michael Jackson.”

“What in the
what
now?” Miranda wasn’t sure whether it made perfect sense or he was screwing with her, and she made sure it showed on her face.

He grinned. “No, really.” He took a sip, wrinkled his nose, and dumped more sugar into the cup. “Periodically I take time off from life as an assassin and murder pimp and seek out training that I feel would add to my skill set. I’ve studied almost every form of martial arts on the globe, and branched out from there into other forms of movement.” Another grin. “You’ll love this one—the most recent was tribal fusion. Belly dance.”

She laughed. “Well, that explains your abs. You realize you have to prove that with a demonstration. Stage outfit required.”

Deven laughed too. “Maybe sometime. Being a vampire is a huge advantage for a dancer—so is being in a body that stopped developing at seventeen.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t say that. You don’t move like any seventeen year old I’ve ever met.”

“I take that as a compliment. Have you seen teenage boys lately? They’re hairy dumb elephants.”

Miranda giggled and took another bite of the chocolate croissant she’d ordered with her latte. It felt wrong to be having fun given what was happening at home, but David had all but thrown them out of the house so he, Nico, and Stella could work on the search for Kai without Miranda and Deven hovering around fretting.

Everyone was a bundle of raw nerves. One day had turned into two, then three, and there was no trace of Morningstar, or the Bard, whatsoever. They’d tried magic, technology, both together; they’d used the seeking spell Stella and David had bastardized to find Nico and coupled that with the twin connection between the brothers. There was no hint of Kai’s presence anywhere in Austin, or Texas, at all.

It was a strange counterpoint to everything else going on. After a preliminary group discussion about their new reality, things seemed to be working remarkably well; the consensus had been to play it by ear for a bit and then have another meeting when everyone had given serious thought to their own boundaries and needs—and after they’d found Kai.

Miranda was fairly sure she wouldn’t be back to the Suite tonight, though ostensibly this was just a shopping excursion. Deven’s old wardrobe had been blown to shit with the Haven, and since coming to Austin he’d been dressing in Normal Guy Drag; he’d asked her to come with him to town to start rectifying that, giving them time to decompress and the others time to work.

She sincerely hoped David would be able to persuade Nico to have company for the day. She didn’t want the Elf sleeping alone when so many horrible memories were so close to the surface.

“Your turn,” Deven said, shaking her out of the dervish whirl of her thoughts and reminding her that they’d agreed to talk about anything but their Elf crisis. “Tell me something true.”

Miranda thought about it for a minute. “I doubt I have anything as interesting as the stories you could tell.”

“Not the point.”

“Yeah, I know. Um…okay, I’ve got it. I once had sex in a Burger King bathroom.”

He gave her a long blink. “Like in the song?”

“Yeah. My first ex in college was…well…basically awful in the sack. Toward the end I started suggesting weird places just to keep from falling asleep. Burger King, the roof of a parking garage, Mt. Bonnell…typical stuff.”

“That bad, was he?”

She nodded, and added around a bite of croissant, “Near as I could tell he thought a clitoris was like the B-button on a video game controller and he was Super Mario in one of the swimming levels.”

Miranda had the immensely gratifying experience of seeing the Prime of the Western United States inhale his coffee and then laugh himself silly. It didn’t take her long to lose it too, and for a minute they relaxed and gleefully annoyed the other patrons of Slim Shaky’s Espresso Bar.

“I suppose David was quite an education, then,” Deven noted once they’d fallen quiet again. “Whatever his faults, our boy can shag like a champion.”

“No kidding. I’m pretty sure he’s got at least a Master’s Degree in the subject.” She frowned. “Is it weird for us to talk about this?”

“Why would it be?”

“I don’t know. I guess I’m still used to ‘normal’ relationships, whatever those are.”

Deven gave her a conspiratorial grin and indicated a nearby couple with a tilt of his head. “Look at Mr. and Mrs. White Bread over there — when they get home she’s going to strap him to a bed frame in their refurbished basement, put on a vinyl cat suit, and spank him with a pancake turner until he can’t sit down tomorrow. And that fellow over there, the one in the owlish glasses and the extremely sober button-down? Not only is he into gay porn, he writes it—Harry Potter fan fiction. An accountant by day, Bottom!Remus77 by night.”

She lifted an eyebrow. “Are you making that up, or do you actually know?”

“Yes. The point is, even people who claim to have normal relationships have their kinks and twists. There are four of us, yes, but compared to a lot of people polyamory is weak tea.”

“Are you sure you don’t have any fetishes you’re hiding? Getting off to chanting monk CDs, maybe?”

Another long blink. “My God…how did you know?”

At her widened eyes, he laughed again.

After a moment of companionable silence, she told him, “One more time…tell me something true.”

He smiled and took her hand, eyes sparkling. “I adore you.”

She knew she was practically beaming, and was about to reply when her com chimed. “Star-Two,” she said.

“Sorry to cut your date short, beloved, but…I’ve got something.”

Miranda and Deven’s eyes locked. “We’re on our way.”

*****

“I do not take orders from you,” Nico ground out, poison in every syllable. He started to get back to his feet.

A boot came down solidly on his neck.

“Yes. You. Do.”

“…didn’t work, but I’m starting to think we’re trying the spell too soon. We have to narrow the field—even assuming they’re in Texas that’s a huge area to search. It’s…Nico?”

The pressure on his neck turned out to be the gentleness of a hand, not the definitive statement of a boot, and he lifted his head to see David regarding him with concern. “Are you still with me?”

He nodded, shaking the images away. “A memory…it will pass.”

They both knew that was a lie. In the last few days, Nico had stayed as busy as he could, refusing to give up the search for Kai, but his motives were as selfish as they were motivated by fear for his brother. Every time he was still, in every silence, more of the recent days returned. He’d hoped they would wait until Kai was found and he could breathe again, but he was not given to good fortune these days.

At David’s raised eyebrow Nico said wearily, “The gods are infinitely imaginative in their cruelty. Each time I think things cannot get any worse…somehow they do.”

“Careful,” David responded. “You’re starting to sound like Deven.”

“Perhaps his fatalism is not so extreme after all.”

Nico could tell that David resisted pointing out that Deven had been much less fatalistic since they’d gotten Nico back; but Nico lowered his eyes, sighing, and went back to toying with the stone in his hand.

Apparently curious, the Prime put a hand over his and turned Nico’s palm over so he could see it: a flat oval-shaped stone, transparent but for pale bands of blue, purple, and green. “Fluorite, yes?” David asked.

He nodded. “My people have been known to employ it for help in emotional healing.”

“Where did you get it? Oh…I see. Deven gave it to you.”

Nico smiled a little in spite of himself. “Yes. He said there is a shop in town that sells all sorts of stones with mystical properties.” He had no idea if it was actually working or not, but he had to admit having it in his hands made him feel better, if only because of where it came from. “He is giving me a wide berth…but whenever I go to bed I find gifts like this in my room, everything very deliberately chosen. Distractions, I suppose, to make me smile in the midst of all of this pain.”

Now David smiled. “He’s courting you.”

“So it would seem.”

“And how do you feel about that?”

“I don’t know.” Nico sighed and pocketed the fluorite. “Our timing is apparently doomed no matter what. Even two weeks ago, I would have been overjoyed…now, I…I can hardly feel anything but fear for Kai. He might have been dead for days…and that might be better than the suffering they will bring him. Kai has hurt no one…he is not part of this war…he only wanted to take care of his broken brother. I cannot turn my heart anywhere right now but to finding him.”

“You shouldn’t blame yourself, Nico.”

“Perhaps not…but I do, all the same.”

The Prime pulled him close for a moment. They had something far more profound now than a magical connection — that was a capillary compared to this artery. Nico didn’t want to rely on the others…he had been weak long enough. But at the moment he was flat-out exhausted from lack of sleep and too many attempts at the seeking spell; there was no way he could keep going without help.

After half a dozen tries Stella had finally run out of energy and fallen over sideways, the Prime’s lightning reflexes the only thing that kept her from cracking her skull on what was no doubt a very expensive piece of computer equipment. David had ordered the Witch to bed for at least a few hours. He’d known better than to try and do the same to Nico.

“You know you can lean on us,” David murmured, the low vibration of his voice soothing against Nico’s ear. “We’re here to take care of each other.”

“You’ve given me so much already.”

“And do you see me regretting it? Or my strength flagging? No, and you won’t. We’re here to care for each other—and I’m here to care for all of you. I will be the fixed point in our turning world no matter how fast it spins. Maybe you’re not ready to trust Deven, and maybe you don’t know Miranda well enough yet to trust her…but you can trust me.”

Nico leaned back to look at him, hearing something odd in his tone, and…

“What?” David frowned…and as soon as he blinked, his eyes were blue again.

“Nothing,” Nico half-whispered. “I’m just tired.”

“Understatement, love. If I thought we had time I’d send you to bed like Stella.”

He started to ask David why he’d stopped working, but remembered that the Prime had sent for the others and was no doubt waiting until they arrived to move forward. David was cautiously optimistic about his discoveries but needed their input to draw any conclusions.

Nico watched him return to his seat behind the big desk, heard the system beep and chirp in happy acknowledgment of his presence, and tried not to look as shaken as he felt.

“Does the name Elendala Seara mean anything to you?” David asked suddenly.

Nico started, blinked. “Elendala Seara? It’s Elvish, but…I know no one by that name. Why do you ask?”

“It’s Deven’s mother’s name. There’s been…a suggestion…that she’s still alive. I don’t know how that would be possible—she’d be seven centuries old by now and she was only half Elf.”

Nico shrugged. “Half is enough. In the human world, she would most likely age and die. If she went to live in Avilon or one of the other Sanctuaries the magic there would prevail over her human half and she would, after a while, be almost indistinguishable from the rest of us.”

“What about one-quarter Elf?”

He smiled. “That, I could not say. I’ve never heard of it happening, but in theory at least it could if the person was strong enough.”

Nico didn’t ask where David had heard of Elendala; he was pretty sure he knew, and didn’t want to think about it…not yet.
Keep that memory at bay a while longer…please. I cannot fall apart now.

“Then again,” Nico went on, crossing his arms over his chest against sudden cold that didn’t come from outside, “if she crossed into Avilon that long ago and took a new name, I might know her and not realize it. Are you planning to look for her?”

“Not without Deven’s permission. I was just curious. I suppose it would be a ridiculous coincidence for you to know her.”

“Do we even have coincidences anymore?” Nico asked.