Shaken (6 page)

The jailer coughed again and put his hand to his mouth. Mr. Stein turned to leave. The jailer raised the gun.

Before Judd could react, Nada lunged at the man. People screamed and fell to the floor as muffled gunfire echoed through the jail.

5

FOR A
few seconds, everything went into slow motion for Judd. Nada staggered backward and slumped to the floor. The jailer coughed and waved the gun around. Mr. Stein subdued the man and took the gun away.

Judd rushed to Nada's side and pulled her close. He pushed the hair from her face and saw a red spot appear on her shirt.

Jamal knelt beside his daughter and screamed, “No!”

Nada's mother burst into tears.

Judd felt Nada's neck. “She's alive. I can feel a pulse.”

Nada coughed and struggled to breathe. Jamal leaned over her. “Daughter, speak to us.”

Nada's eyelids fluttered. “Hard to … breathe …”

“Lie still,” Jamal said.

“Somebody get a doctor!” Kasim shouted. “She's losing blood!”

Jamal and Kasim ran into the next room. Judd shook with fright. He didn't know what to do.

“Judd?” Nada whispered.

“I'm right here.”

“I can't feel anything. My legs and arms won't work.”

“You're going through a big shock. Just … we'll get some help.”

Nada opened her eyes. “I had it all planned. We were going to spend … the rest of our lives …”

“Why did you do that?” Judd said.

Nada ignored his question. “Promise me you won't forget.”

“Don't talk like that! You're going to be all right. We'll get a doctor and …”

Nada took another painful breath. “Go to your friends … take Sam and Lionel.”

Nada's mother knelt and wept by the girl's side. She took Nada's limp hand and kissed it. A trickle of blood ran from the corner of Nada's mouth. Judd dabbed it with his shirt.

Nada looked at her mother and smiled. A tear ran down her cheek. She tried to speak but couldn't.

Nada let out a breath and rested her head on Judd's chest. He felt Nada's neck, then her wrist. Nothing. He held her body tightly and cried.

The air seemed to go out of the room. Judd's mind spun. He wanted to run, to hide, to get away from this awful scene. But here he was, holding the body of his friend. She had given her life for him and the others. How could he ever thank her? Or forgive her?

Jamal and Kasim rushed in with a stretcher. They stopped when they saw Judd's face. Nada's mother lay on the floor, weeping. Jamal and Kasim both collapsed beside Nada's body.

“I'm so sorry,” Judd managed.

Mr. Stein, who had been standing nearby, knelt beside the group and placed a hand on Nada's head. “Father, we commend the spirit of our sister to you. We are thankful you allowed us the privilege of knowing her. She was filled with courage and truth. You have said that there is no greater love than for someone to lay down their life for a friend. Surely, Nada has done this today. Comfort us now with this loss, and we look forward to the day when we will be united again when you return to rule and reign.”

Jamal picked up the prayer through his tears. “Oh, God, we were not worthy to have had her as a daughter. But we thank you for giving her to us. Now we give her back to you.”

“If she hadn't found me, Lord,” Kasim said, “I'd still be in New Babylon. Forgive me for rejecting your message through her for so long.”

Nada's mother couldn't speak. She shook her head and wept at the girl's side. Judd squinted and tried to speak. Mr. Stein put a hand on his shoulder. Finally, Judd managed a few words. “God, she cared so much for her family. I thank you that I got to know her.” Judd paused, then said, “If I'd only.…”

Jamal put a hand on Judd when he couldn't continue. The man whispered, “It's okay, my brother. It wasn't your fault.”

The jailer appeared behind Mr. Stein, walking like a drunk man. He approached the group staggering and coughing, clutching his throat. Mr. Stein turned and stood in time to catch him as the man collapsed.

Jamal and Kasim brought the stretcher, but it was too late. The jailer had been overcome by the smoke of the horses.

Jamal took Nada from Judd and carried her body outside. When Lionel saw them, his mouth dropped open. Judd told him briefly what had happened and asked about Sam.

“Over there.” Lionel pointed.

Sam sat on the sidewalk, cradling his father's head. The herd of horses had moved on, leaving the street littered with bodies. Lionel put an arm around Judd. “I'm really sorry about Nada.”

Judd nodded.

“I've been trying to get Sam to move, but he won't budge.”

“I'll talk with him.”

Judd sat by Sam and put an arm around his shoulders. “I prayed for him every day,” Sam said. “I thought for sure he would believe …”

After a few moments, Judd said, “I don't have any more answers than you. I know God's in control, but I sure don't know how this all works together.”

Mr. Stein said, “We should go.”

“I can't leave my father like this!”

“The surviving GC will be back to lock down the jail,”

Kasim said.

Judd held up a hand. “We'll use the stretcher to carry his body.”

Judd and Lionel carried Sam's father on the stretcher, and Jamal and Kasim carried Nada. They walked through streets littered with the dead. Some buildings were on fire, but there was no one to put them out. The massacre got worse as they neared Yitzhak's home. Those who hadn't been killed ran into the streets, wailing and crying over the dead.

Yitzhak contacted a funeral director about the bodies. “If you want a burial, you'll have to do it yourself,” the man said. “The Global Community says they're going to burn the bodies to reduce the risk of contamination.”

While Nada's mother prepared the bodies, Judd and Lionel found a pair of shovels in a utility building. The men took turns digging in the small backyard. Judd was numb. Each shovelful of dirt was a painful reminder that Nada no longer lived. When the holes were dug, everyone gathered outside.

“We have said our good-byes,” Mr. Stein said softly. “But I need to add something. The time is coming when the Antichrist will take full control of the world system. The judgments will get worse. Before us are two people— one who knew God and one who didn't. One who showed the love of God, who gave her life so that we would be saved. May these two lives renew our resolve to live for God. We must let nothing stand in our way in telling others the truth. Even if it costs our lives.”

“Amen,” Sam said.

“Amen,” the others said.

Sam grabbed a handful of dirt and tossed it on his father's body. Each person did the same.

Before Judd went into the house, Nada's mother came to him and put something wrapped in cloth in his hand. “She would have wanted you to have this.”

Judd couldn't speak.

Nada's mother said, “She told me some things about you two. I encouraged her to tell you what was in her heart, but she never had the chance. Some of it is in this letter. Take it.”

Judd stuffed the package in his pocket and went upstairs. He sat on his bed and thought of all that had happened since the disappearances. Losing his family was tough. It had thrown him together with brothers and sisters of a different kind. Now that family was being torn apart. He closed his eyes and thought of each person, believer and unbeliever, who was no longer alive. The longer he lived, the more people he would lose.

When will it be my turn?
Judd thought.

He let his mind wander until it finally came to rest on Nada. He had been so excited to free her. She was so close. Judd thought through the series of events. If he had only been quicker and lunged at the jailer before Nada, she might be alive. A wave of guilt swept over him. He hadn't pulled the trigger, but he felt responsible for Nada's death. Then came the anger. Maybe the man wouldn't have fired at all. If Nada had stayed where she was, perhaps no one would have been hurt.

Judd remembered the first time he had met Nada. He thought of their exercises and discussions on the roof of her father's building. They loved to talk late into the night. A lump rose in his throat.
Gone. Nada is really gone, and she isn't coming back
.

Judd pulled out the cloth-wrapped package. Inside was a folded piece of paper and Nada's necklace. On the gold chain was a cross. Judd turned it around and saw Nada's initials on the back. He held the cross to his lips, then slipped the necklace around his neck. The paper was worn and somewhat faded. Judd looked at the date at the top of the page and realized Nada had written the letter soon after her family's arrest.

Dear Judd
,

My mother suggested I write this down so I won't forget. Maybe the GC is going to execute us, and if that happens, you can take comfort in the fact that I'm in a better place. Being with Christ is what our lives are all about. If they've killed me, I'm there, so don't be sad for me. I love you very much. From the moment you came to our family, I felt close to you. You were like a brother to me. Then, as my feelings grew deeper, you were more than that
.

But I have to tell you something. I feel it's only fair that I express this. As close as we became, in our talks and the time we spent together, I always felt there was something missing. I couldn't put my finger on it until we came back to Israel and you backed away. I feel what I'm about to say is something that God wants me to say. I have prayed many nights about this.…

Lionel knocked on the door and walked in. “Care for some company?”

Judd folded the paper and put it in his pocket. “Sure.”

Lionel sat on the bed. “Sam's taking it pretty hard about his dad. How about you?”

“I'm not exactly throwing a party.”

“Yeah.” Lionel put his hands on his knees. “Well, I've got something to say. It might not be the right time, but with the way things are going, we don't know what's going to happen next.”

“Say it.”

“I rode you pretty hard about getting back to the States. Said some bad stuff.”

“You were right.”

“Maybe. But I shouldn't have questioned your motives about Nada. I can't tell you how sorry I am about what happened.”

“Thanks.”

“However long it takes, whatever kind of time you want to spend with her family, even if you decide to stay, I'm with you.”

Judd's lip quivered. He and Lionel had been together since the disappearances. Through the tough times with Lionel's uncle André, to the first printing of the
Underground,
and all that had gone on afterward, Lionel was there like a rock. Judd threw his arms around his friend and hugged him.

Judd told Lionel the full story about Nada and the jailer and how he was feeling.

“Man, you can't blame yourself.”

“Who else?”

“It was instinct. She moved a little faster, that's all. Her family doesn't hold it against you. They're down there talking about you like you were their son.”

“What kind of son would let his sister get killed?”

Lionel put a hand on Judd's shoulder. “We're going to get through this. You and Sam and Nada's family are going to come out on the other side.”

“I don't know how.”

“Time. Take as much as you need. Come get me if you want to talk.”

When Lionel closed the door, Judd pulled out Nada's letter. What was it she was trying to tell him? Judd read:

I have prayed many nights about this. I've asked God to show me why I'm feeling this way. Honestly, I think something is holding you back. At first, I thought it was God. You're so sold out on him, and you want to live for him. But the more I thought and prayed, it became clear that God wasn't coming between us. I really believe there is someone else. You've never talked much about your friends in the States, but I sense there is someone there you care about deeply
.

Maybe I'm making this up. If so, I apologize. But if I'm right and you find this letter, go back to her. You're a wonderful person with so much to offer. I have loved being your friend. I'm sorry for the trouble I caused you in New Babylon. I'm sorry for being difficult at times. (You had your moments too.) I'll look forward to seeing you again, whether it's in this life or the next. May God bless you
.

Love
,

Nada

Judd folded the letter and shook his head. A thousand thoughts swirled in his head.
Is she right? Did I hold back in our relationship? Why?

Judd lay back on the bed. The shock of seeing the horses and the experience at the jail had drained him of emotion and strength. He didn't think he could sleep, but when he closed his eyes, he drifted off and dreamed of Nada.

6

VICKI
listened closely to the reports about the deadly horses as they drove east. Through Nebraska they saw the effects of the latest judgment. Houses in Lincoln were charred. The kids drove through billowing yellow and black smoke that floated through the area. They spotted herds of horses and riders in Omaha.

“I hope I never see those horses again,” Shelly said.

Conrad turned the news down. “I don't get it. Those beasts are evil. They must want to hurt believers.”

“God's using those killing machines for his own purpose. Somehow he's put a hedge around those who are his, and those beings know it.”

Though it was a lot smaller than the van, the kids slept in the car as much as they could. In Iowa City, they rented two motel rooms with most of their remaining money. Conrad staggered to his room. “I'm going to sleep, and I'm not waking up for a week.”

Vicki and Shelly tried to order a pizza, but they couldn't get an answer at any restaurants. Instead, they walked half a block to a convenience store and bought snacks.