Shamara (18 page)

She shrugged and stared out across the water. She felt rather than saw him settle on the sand beside her. "Why don't you tell me the whole story?"

Her frustration and guilt boiled over. "What would it accomplish? Lani's already been taken hostage." A horrible thought occurred to her. What if Gunnar knew about Risa? If he did, he was certain to come here, because of Jarek's connection with Moriah and Celie. That would endanger the entire community on Risa. She whirled toward him, panic churning. "Spirit, Gunnar is probably headed for Risa!"

"Possibly." Seemingly unconcerned, Jarek pried Ranie from his arm and settled her on his lap. "But I don't come here that often. He's more likely to go to Liron. However, I'd venture a guess he's not the only one you have to worry about. The truth, Eirene. That's what I want right now."

She stared down at her hands. A part of her longed to share the burden of her fears and her guilt. Yet she wasn't ready to tell him everything. Trust came hard after a lifetime on Travan.

"If you'll tell me the truth," he persisted, "I can protect you better."

"What about Lani, or the people here on Risa? What if the truth only puts them in more danger?"

Jarek swung around on the sand so that he was facing her. Falling onto the ground, Ranie squealed in protest, and darted around to reposition herself on his lap. He leaned forward, his dark eyes burning into Eirene's. "Knowledge is power. Ignorance only breeds disaster. If I know who is after you and why, I can plan for contingencies. Hopefully, I can keep you safe. I think I already know most of your story, anyway."

The familiar panic flared. She felt uprooted, exposed, with no safe haven in sight. Her hands clenched tighter.

"It appears you were promised as a bride to Commander Gunnar of Dukkair, probably in some sort of trade, since that's how Leors get a lot of their mates," Jarek continued. "You didn't want to be forced into marriage with a Leor. Perhaps you were afraid he would discover you were an Enhancer. You escaped from Travan by stowing away on Celie's ship and traveling to Saron."

He had an uncanny knack for ferreting out the truth. A terrifying aptitude, actually. She looked at the water.

"I just did some research on Travan," he said. "The women there basically have no more rights than slaves. They're often traded in business dealings. Is that what happened?"

The noose around her neck tightened. The chance at freedom grew more elusive, more fleeting, with every passing moment. And yet, what was the sense in denying what he already knew, could confirm if he wanted to? "Yes," she whispered.

"You arrived at Saron and hired on at the Pleasure Dome. I think I know why you did that."

The reminder of the Pleasure Dome flashed vivid images through her mind: Jarek lowering his body over hers, kissing her, possessing her in the most fundamental way a man could claim a woman.  But she refused to dwell on those events.

"The problem is, you think you know everything about me," she snapped, glaring at him defiantly. "But you could be wrong, you know."

He watched her, his expression unreadable. "About you being an Enhancer? I don't think so. The more I'm around you, the more certain I am."

"None of that concerns you." She scrambled to her feet.

With lightspeed reflexes, he was up beside her. "You can't tell me I'm not involved, because I damn well am."

"Only because you want something from me—something I can't give you." She tried to walk away but he grabbed her arm and pulled her back.

His magnasteel grip forced her to turn, drew her to rest against the hard planes of his body. "Look at me, Eirene."

Reluctantly, she found herself responding to the command in his voice and raised her eyes to his. Heated emotion sparked in his eyes. "I'm involved because I took your virginity. Because you saved my life. And yes, because I need you, damn it."

The rough, honest words touched off disconcerting longings deep within her. For a brief moment, she wondered what it would be like to have Jarek need her for the woman she was, not for
what
she was—a freak who couldn't control her powers.

She silently cursed the Pleasure Dome and the necessity that had taken her there. If not for that, she wouldn't be in this predicament. "That stupid virginity caused a lot of trouble," she muttered.

Surprise crossed Jarek's face, and his lips twitched. She had the distinct impression he was battling a smile. Her heart strangely lightened by the inanity of her remark, she had to suppress her own smile.

"I think of it more as divine intervention," he said. "Let me guess. You took that job as a courtesan to get rid of your virginity, so Gunnar would no longer want you for his bride."

Again, no sense in denying his conclusion. "I didn't want my life decided for me. I still don't. And it doesn't matter what happened at the Pleasure Dome."

"It does matter." He slid his hand upward to cradle the side of her face. "I'm honored that I was your first. I blundered it badly, and I hurt you. I'm sorry about that."

Shifting, he drew her closer. He was so solid, so warm…so aroused. Awareness, fueled by memories of him stroking her body, of him pressing his mouth against her bare skin, snaked through her, alluring and dangerous.

"Even so," he whispered, lowering his head, his lips hovering an atom's-breadth from hers, "I'm glad I was the first."

Her heart was pounding. A tidal wave of desire roared through her veins, blotting out rational thought. She wanted him to kiss her. She wanted to taste him, to run her hands over the muscled expanse of his body. Wanted him to touch her like he had at the Dome.

And he knew it. A possessive, triumphant light gleamed in his eyes. Then his mouth settled over hers, confident and sure. He slid his arms around her, and his tongue teased her lips, slipped between them. She opened for him, allowed his invasion of her mouth. At the touch of his tongue against hers, electricity arced through her.

Her equilibrium totally blasted, she clutched the front of his flightsuit. She savored the taste of him, clean and fresh; the feel of him, the warmth radiating from his hard body. Desire surged through her, intense and terrifying, yet like a magnetic undertow she couldn't resist. Didn't want to resist—

Ranie's shrill cry pierced the air. Sharp claws pierced Eirene's shoulder as the lanrax leaped between them, protesting indignantly. Jarek drew back. "What the blazing hells?"

"Sorry to bother ya," came Radd's apologetic voice. "But I wanted to tell ya I looked over the damage to your ship."

Jarek released her, and she stumbled back, dragging air into her lungs. Standing at the edge of the tree line, Radd offered a crooked grin. "Didn't expect to find this. We can talk about your ship later."

Her head clearing, she was appalled at her response to Jarek, at her own behavior. What was wrong with her? She was off balance, uncertain and in a strange environment, she told herself. That would explain this momentary insanity. She edged away from the men. "I've got cleanup detail. I need to get back to the hall."

Jarek held out a detaining hand. "Wait. I want us both to hear what Radd says about the ship. You're in on this, too."

She started to protest that she didn't want to be in on anything, wanted nothing to do with Radd or Jarek or his ship. But, looking at Radd's inquisitive face, she clamped her mouth shut. Too many people already knew far too much about her, and she had no desire to impart further information.

Radd stepped forward, and Ranie crouched low on Jarek's shoulder, hissing. "Not much to tell," Radd said. "Most of the damage was to your starboard bay, with a little to the thruster and the hoverlift on that side. I'll get right on it, and knock it out in a few hours."

"Good," Jarek said. "I appreciate that, Radd. Then we'll be able to leave tomorrow." His eyes met Eirene's, challenging, in command. "We'll go directly to Aldon."

The statement jolted through her like a blaster. No stops for supplies or anything else. No chance to escape him. She stood silently, trying to think of something—anything—to thwart his plans.

Radd nodded, seemingly unaware of the tension between Jarek and Eirene. "I'll tell the group to start loadin' supplies for ya. And I want to donate some of my personal funds."

"Radd, you don't have to do that."

"I intend to do it. No problem."

"That's great," Jarek said sincerely. "You don't know how much that means."

"It's nothin.' See ya back at the ship." Humming a little tune, Radd strolled off.

Determined Jarek wouldn't throw her off balance again, wouldn't have any further effect on her rebellious body, she started after Radd.

"I didn't take you for a coward, Eirene."

She halted, challenged by the taunt. She'd escaped her uncle, found her way in a strange world, tried to ensure her freedom the best way she knew how. She'd resisted Jarek's trickery, escaped from him once, had almost fallen into the hands of her uncle and a Leor. She'd been shot at, had treated Jarek's wounds. She was
not
a coward.

Now she battled a more insidious threat, one that was inexplicable and intangible. She would not run. She'd diffuse the attraction between Jarek and herself now. She faced him. "I'm not a coward. But I refuse to fall victim to male lust."

"You think that's all there is between us—lust?"

"What else could there be?"

He studied her speculatively. "Sounds to me like negative experiences with men have influenced your thinking. Among Shielders, women are treated as equals, and with respect."

"Are they held prisoner against their will?"

"Point well taken," Jarek conceded. Dropping Ranie gently to the ground, he started toward her. She took a step back, but forced herself to stop. She refused to retreat from him. But her heart started pounding again, and when he reached her, that disconcerting warmth flooded her body. Her senses went on full alert.

He slid his hands over her shoulders, and she had to tilt her head to look up at him. His gaze, heated mahogany, bored into her. "I was out of line when I kissed you on the ship, because you weren't ready for anything like that. But I won't apologize for today. You wanted that kiss as much as I did."

Again, she was stunned, and appalled that he could read her so well. "You're wrong," she protested. "You can't possibly know what I feel or think."

"I know a lot more than you would like me to know. Tell you what, little one. After we complete our mission, Spirit willing that we do, I'll give you back your freedom. And then maybe we'll explore this so-called 'lust' we seem to experience when we're together. I think you might be very surprised at what we find."

This time, any response deserted her completely. She could only stare at him, jolted by his words, while her body hummed from his nearness. He stepped back, and she felt oddly bereft at the loss of his touch. Then he was gone, striding through the trees without a backward glance. Ranie darted after him. Eirene was left alone with her tumultuous thoughts and traitorous body.

She would control her reactions, she vowed. She knew she couldn't stay with Jarek. He threatened her on too many levels. She couldn't provide what he needed, and he couldn't give her the things she yearned for. She had to get free of him—not only physically, but emotionally. And soon.

*  *  * 

Jarek breathed a sigh of relief when they cleared Risa's gravitational field. His ship was flying smoothly, his detection system showed no other craft in the vicinity, and Eirene was with him. Not that she could have escaped from Risa. Fairly certain she didn't know how to pilot a ship, but taking no chances, he'd implemented some precautionary measures. The first night on Risa, he and Sabin had installed additional override codes on all the spacecraft on Risa. There was no way Eirene could have commandeered a ship.

The skimmers had been secured as well, so she couldn't leave the general vicinity. He had been confident he could find her anywhere within the colony. If anything, he was even more attuned to her unique energy, could locate and track it easily. Oddly enough, Sabin and the other Shielders weren't able to pick up on it as readily, although Sabin could sense the energy when he concentrated.

Jarek looked over at Eirene. She sat stiffly, staring out the portal, cool, beautiful, and distant. She wore the deep blue robe Roanne had given her before they left Risa. Her energy fluctuated erratically, as it seemed to do when she was particularly upset, usually with him. The two of them certainly had a volatile relationship. But that wasn't unusual when emotions ran high, which they invariably did where Eirene was concerned.

He had trouble maintaining his normally cool and lucid control, both over his thoughts and his body, when she was around. Leaning back, he ran his hand through his hair. Perhaps it was best that she was determined to erect emotional walls between them. He needed no distractions, especially with so many concerns pressing in on him.

The gold he had available to offer the Shens for the equipment was not a substantial amount. Sabin and Blake would be meeting him at Aldon to deliver any additional funds they'd been able to collect, but that would have to be enough. Even if they did manage to get the machinery, there was no guarantee that it would work, that Eirene would help him, or that his theory was even remotely correct.

He'd know the outcome soon enough. Grimly, he leaned forward to lock in the coordinates to Aldon. "You can take off your harness now," he told her.

She undid the magnetic clasp. "I'm going to my cabin."

She wanted to distance herself from him, while he wanted her in the cockpit with him. He tried to tell himself it was so he could keep an eye on her, but he knew better. He wanted her near, wanted to feel her energy, to gaze into her remarkable eyes. He wanted to hear her voice and, Spirit help him, feel her touch.

He didn't want to be alone anymore.

His thoughts were traversing a dangerous path, one he didn't dare take. His commitments necessitated a solitary existence, and he'd accepted that fact, up until now. He nodded his head. "Okay."