Shampoo (46 page)

I want it so bad, this elusive
love…I want to jump into it with Matt.

Evvy stops me. Who would I choose
if Evvy could act like Matt does?

There’s a question to send me into
a tizzy for days. DAYS, I tell ya.

7.26pm

I’m so tired from the
weekend.

Renee wanted to know who set off
the fire alarm and ended the Christmas party. If it had been Benny,
I so would have dobbed him in!!! Just to get in before he dobbed me
in.

But I kept Lachie’s Flaming
Sambucca secrets.

My direct line at work rang this
arvo, like at 4.10pm, and I almost died of a heart attack, thinking
it was Ever. For real. My heart went on turbo speed and I started
shaking all over!!

It was Tee! False heart
attack.

“
Hey, I almost waited
till four-thirty, but I thought that would be really cruel,” Tee
laughed.

Ha ha. She knows all about Ever
and I’s ‘special time.’

Matt was so sweet to me today. He
has his sights set on me alright, all of a sudden. He’s stopped
thinking about it and he’s jumped all in.

I felt I was acting a bit odd,
though. Keeping to myself, avoiding the warehouse and the
boys

(when I’m normally always down
there, hanging with Benny),

slinking around
corners.

I was doing some film noir or
detective noir sly chick routine. Was odd.

Matt still found me, however. And
heaped his sweetness, hotness, damn stableness I find so hot, onto
me.

I’m not strong enough to fight
this! I’m like wide fucking open and ready to have love just dumped
on me.

I’m very scared!

1.01am

Reading a Christina Skye romance
in the middle of the night.

Swoon.

Matt Matt Matt Matt
Matt.

Tuesday 5 December
2000

7.07pm

Soon as I walked into the
warehouse this morning, Matt asked me to go on his boat with him,
Lach and Melin this Saturday.

Apparently we’re going to go over
to Straddie from The Spit, and go surfing there.

Lach called out, “Get ready,
Pinky, there’s some barrels over there!”

“
Yee har!!” I
replied.

(I’m not sure why, but
I can’t stop calling him cowboy. He’s like a surf
cowboy)

Lachie cracked me up today. Every
time he called for a query on an invoice for an order, or to tell
me something was out of stock

(“So stop motherfucking invoicing
it!!” he’d pretend yell, while actually yelling),

he’d end the conversation saying,
“Bye bye,” like Seinfeld does.

I was in stiches every time he did
it.

It was so busy this afternoon, and
it was just me, Nat and Renee on. Four o’clock hit and for some
reason the phones went off, and the salon world went mad. We were
run off our feet.

“
I think that deserves
some champagne, hey Pinky?” Renee laughed, cracking open a
bottle.

“
You’re always talking
my language, Renee!”

Nat rolled her eyes at
us.

(my sister’s eyes are gonna roll
right out of her head one day, she does it so often)

I’m getting more and more excited
by the prospect of Matt and I.

Yet I still desperately miss
Ever.

I’m torn.

8.01pm

I did something very stupid
then.

I rang Ever.

I know, I know!!! I’m a fucking
idiot. What’s the deal, Paul Mecurio? Ugh. I’m such an idiot. Face
facts, woman!!!!

He just made me cry all over
again.

He said he cares, which is just
amazing in itself, that he can admit it so easily now, and that he
wants to “see me.”

Yeah, see me naked and that’s
it.

Ever told me it’s up to me if I
take that chance or not.

I hung up on him.

Wednesday 6 December
2000

7.25pm

Mark rang here tonight, and I
chatted to him for a bit.

I got all sad, cause I love him
and Josie. I’m gonna miss them! I feel that whole group slipping
away from me.

Makes me sad. I love the Scooby
Gang.

Matt rang soon as I got home from
work, asking me what I’m up to tonight. Said he was going to come
round.

That both excited me and freaked
me the fuck out. I’m not ready for this shit!!

But I had

(had. I cancelled. Not for Matt,
just so I could go to bed)

plans with Graham.

I can feel Evvy sliding further
and further away. Last night, my calling him, was like a last-ditch
attempt to hold onto him, before anything happens with
Matt.

Tee rang after I spoke to Asshole
last night. She was laughing at me. She told me it amazes her how
openly loving I am, STILL, after all I’ve gone through, that I
don’t play games, I’m just honest and upfront with my feelings. She
said most women aren’t like that. They play hard to get.

(I’m not very good at
that)

Thursday 7 December
2000

9.07pm

Just got home from that course at
work.

Why is Matt never at these
courses? How does he get out of them??

Work’s been really good lately. I
went through a stage where work was really sucking. So I don’t know
whether work has improved or I’m just happier and my attitude is
better.

I bought Nat and Joy flowers at
lunch. Beautiful canary yellow and

(can’t think of an orange
description other than orange)

orange gerberas. They both love
yellow, and AARRGH, their faces when I handed them to them. They
were overjoyed.

Makes me so happy.

I walked into work today and had
my quick chat with Matt, like we seem to be doing every morning
lately

(while all the warehouse boys –
and Faye - pretend not to listen but you can practically hear a pin
drop, they’re eavesdropping so hard),

and then I went to walk off, and
he said something else…

“
Hey, Karina –
”

and cornered me near the hallway
to the salon and downstairs kitchen.

He stood so close to me, that I
just about died looking up into those blue eyes of his. They’re so
intense and BLUE, like sapphire blue…

I don’t think it’s so much his
eyes but how he USES those eyes on me. With an intensity that sears
into me.

“
Do you want to go
shopping tonight?” he asked.

“
I can’t, I’ve got that
course tonight…”

“
Come to mine instead.
And stay over.”

I just about mimed clutching my
heart. I definitely went all wobbly.

I told him I couldn’t get out of
it, and continued staring into his eyes. I was lost in
them.

The way he looked back at me, too.
My God.

I love that look. I could get used
to that look. I basically floated upstairs.

We worked out we’re spending the
entire weekend together!

I am so frickin’
excited.

How did this happen? And so
quickly? It seems to have built and built for awhile, and then
suddenly is just here.

Sunday 10 December
2000

5.45pm

I have had THE best weekend ever.
So much fun.

Friday night I went over to Matt’s
straight from work, and we met his mates at Fitzy’s.

Oh my God, I had such a great
time.

I arrived at Matt’s to his mum
making such a fuss I felt like I was someone special. She even had
pink champagne on ice for me.

I’ve fallen in love with her.
Forget Matt!! I want his mum.

And his dad is so cool and calm
and casual, floating about, giving off happy vibes.

His brother is adorable, the cute,
younger sibling. They’re like the perfect family.

I think when you come from a
family as fucked up as mine has been, when you walk into this sort
of family stability and perfection, you just go, “I’m here, I’m
home, adopt me. I can relax now.”

So I showered upstairs, got ready,
and Matt drove us to the pub, where his giant group of hot guy
mates were waiting for us. I was the only girl, and Matt acted like
I was his girlfriend and doted on me all night.

It’s all I ever wanted
ALREADY.

All the guys doted on me – I felt
like a superstar.

We had couches near the pool table
area, and Matt sat next to me the whole time, fetching me drinks,
reaching out and twirling a strand of my hair round his
fingers…leaning in super close to me, so that our lips were
practically kissing, and telling me, “You’re so beautiful,
Karina.”

Oh God. It’s like everything I’ve
always wanted. HE’S everything I’ve always wanted. He does and says
and IS everything I’ve always wanted in a guy.

Ugh. I don’t know what to do!! I’m
scared for myself. I’m falling too quickly, too hard, and yet I’m
still too desperate to reach out to Ever and just hold on for dear
life.

(fuck Ever. Fuck him for not
holding onto me)

Oh God, Matt was so sweet when we
got back to his place, too. Jocelyn had set up the sofa bed in the
downstairs den for me, and Matt made sure I was in bed, and turned
the light off.

I so wanted him to join me in bed,
but knew I wasn’t ready, either.

Five o’clock in the
morning

(I repeat, FIVE),

Matt attempted to wake
me.

Whose idea it was to get up THAT
early, I don’t know

(but I’d like to kill
them),

but I was exhausted. After two
days of working 11 hour days, then very little sleep the night
before, PLUS a killer hangover…well, I was a little difficult to
wake up.

At one stage, as Matt tried to
wake me, he leaned right over me, and whispered, “Christ, you smell
good. Like strawberries.”

Talk about a wake up
call.

“
Your smell drives me
crazy,” he near growled, trailing a finger down my face.

(shivers)

I figured he deserved me to
finally open my eyes, but all I could manage was a
groan.

“
Karina?”

“
Hmm?”

“
I’d love to join you
in this bed, and hear you groan some more.”

I groaned again, involuntarily,
out of instant arousal.

“
Karina?”

“
Yeah?”

“
Get up!!”

“
Oh please don’t make
me!!!!”

Matt laughed, grabbing me. “You’re
so…SWEET.”

Eventually, I stumbled out of bed,
got ready, had breakfast with his family. “You look a bit tired,
Karina,” Matt’s mum observed.

“
Too many eleven hour
days at work,” I managed to get out.

“
And getting pissed
last night,” Matt laughed.

(we all laughed. My poor
head)

Lachie and Melinda arrived, and
Matt and Lach spent an hour attaching Matt’s boat

(he has a boat at 21?? I’m
swooning. More so.)

to Lach’s Mustard
Bird
.

(my new name for Lach’s
Commodore)

I drove Melin and I down, and sped
off from the boys as soon as possible, just cause I found it
funny…

Then we ended up at the wrong boat
ramp down at the Spit, but Melin and I got out and perved on all
the near-naked hotties loading boats into the water for
awhile.

Eventually we found the correct
boat ramp, and the boys. I took photos of Lach reversing the boat
in, and him and Matt making it look like this extremely complicated
thing.

Matt navigated us out to South
Straddie, which felt AMAZING!! The beautiful blue sky, the
sunshine, the day was just perfect…was heavenly.

I love being out on the water
ABOVE ALL ELSE.

My health, funnily enough, is
always much approved around water.

The water was VERY ROUGH, or
perhaps Matt is just a crazy assed boat driver, but we were
airborne quite a few times.

(WHICH WAS SO FUN!!)

Melinda did her usual ear-piercing
combination of laugh/scream, which cracks me up so much.