Shark Lover (16 page)

            “There’s
no way to know for certain, but I would say she probably is enjoying the sea
life creatures that she is finding in the water. Great white sharks tend to
enjoy eating sea lions, so it makes sense as to why she would like the coast
waters. Stinson Beach is known for having many sea lions. Just this fact alone
is probably drawing her to that specific area.” He answered without taking his
eyes off of the screen.

            Marc
yawned as he put his arms up above his head and stretched. He loved tracking
sharks as much as the next guy, but he had had a tiring day already. He’d
already picked up trash in the ocean, swam with sharks and helped Chris track
Mandy for three hours. Chris and Cathy had been talking nonstop for hours about
Mandy and what they assumed she was doing or what she would be doing in the
future. He could see the passion in their eyes as they discussed the
possibilities of where Mandy could be going over and over again. He could see
how Cathy’s eyes lit up as she traced Mandy’s dot with her finger. Animals were
truly her passion in life and he could say the same thing for Chris.

While
Marc cared about animals and marine life, what he really felt like was a nap.
He had woken up at the break of dawn and he still had coursework from his
graduate studies he needed to complete. He didn’t feel particularly focused at
the moment, he had been thinking about something more important. The last hour
or so he had been zoning out. He was quite surprised at his thoughts. He had
actually thought about surfing again. He hadn’t thought about that in a long
time.

The
last time he surfed had been so long ago. He didn’t know where these sudden
thoughts were coming from. He assumed it was probably the fact that he had
gotten in the ocean, swam with sharks and felt the rush of the waves again. But
he knew it wasn’t just that, something had been missing in his life for a long
time. Surfing was part of who he was. He was starting to regret the decision he
made after his dad died to give it up. When his dad had died, he couldn’t even
think about getting in the water. It felt like betrayal to him. Now that more
time had passed, the wound had healed more. He wondered if it was the right
time to pick up surfing again.

He
turned his gaze to the window. The light was shining down on the water and he
could see the ocean front right through the glass. It was almost as if he could
feel the ocean calling his name. Stretching his legs out of the chair, he could
almost feel the cold, salty water crashing down on his thighs. He wanted that
feeling again. He wanted to feel like he was on top of the world. He missed the
rush that it brought him. He would do anything to have that feeling again in
his life. He wouldn’t feel complete until he did.

           
“Marc,
are you going to meet us after school to surf?” His best friend Tony asked. He
looked at Marc intensely as they walked down the halls. Class had just been
dismissed for the day and it was a Friday afternoon. Usually every Friday, he
went with his friends to the beach to surf. Lately he hadn’t been in the mood.
He didn’t know what was wrong with him. He felt so out of place with the world
these days.

            “Nah,
thanks for asking though Tony.” He opened his locker and threw all of his books
inside. There was no way he was even thinking about studying this weekend.
Truth be told, he hadn’t thought about studying in a long time. His heart just
wasn’t in it anymore. He still dreamed of being a marine biologist, but his
grades had been slipping lately. Improving them would be his best bet at
getting into a good school. It was already his junior year and he needed to
start thinking about college.

            “Why
don’t you ever come with us anymore? You used to come with us every week,
almost every night. Now we never see you. I don’t think I have seen you in the
water for months.” Tony asked with diligence.

            “I
don’t know man, I just don’t feel like it. Okay?” He shut the locker door and
started walking out of the building with Tony on his tail.

            “But
why? You never told me why. Is it because of your old man?” He grabbed Marc and
turned him around to face him. “You know you haven’t been much fun since he
died. He wouldn’t want you to live like this, Marc. I knew your dad. He would
want you to surf and be happy. He would want you to move on and live your
life.”

            Marc
pushed him away as he continued walking forward. “It’s not even about that. How
do you even know what he would have wanted me to do?” He yelled as he slammed
the door behind him. Walking to his car swiftly, he hoped Tony would just leave
him alone. He didn’t feel like talking about his dad or what had happened to
him. He didn’t want to relive those horrible memories again. Tony just didn’t
understand and he knew that he couldn’t make him understand, no matter how hard
he tried.

            “Wait
up Marc!” Tony yelled across the parking lot. “I didn’t mean to offend you.
Come on man, I was just trying to help you. I see you every day and it just
looks like you got the light knocked out of you. Come on, just come surf with
me. We won’t even meet up with the other guys. It’ll just be me and you. Like
the good old times. So what do you say?”

            Marc
stopped abruptly at his car and thought about what Tony was saying. It had been
awhile since he last surfed. Maybe he could give it another go. Time had passed
by rather quickly and he had missed surfing. “I say maybe I overreacted and I
am sorry Tony. You’re right. It has been too long since I last surfed. Let’s go
to the beach.”

            “Now
that’s more like it. Now you sound like my best friend.” He patted him on his
back. “Your dad would be proud of you. You know that.”

            “Hop
in,” Marc demanded as he started the car. “I am your best friend. Just don’t
talk about my dad. I don’t want to talk about it. I know you are just trying to
help, but I am just not ready to talk about it. Don’t push it.”

            “Alright
man, I won’t say anything again. I’m just glad to see you out of the house. You
were so depressed for such a long time. It’ll be good to see you on a board
again. You were the best surfer I had ever known.” He said as Marc drove down
the road.

            Marc
rolled his eyes at Tony’s compliments. Tony had always been fond of Marc. He
was a year older than Tony, which in return made Tony look up at him like he
was a god. Ever since they were little, he had wanted to be just like Marc.
They had met in elementary school, over a bond of surfing and had been friends
ever since. Marc appreciated Tony’s friendship throughout the years, but he
just wasn’t in a talking mood at the moment. He was trying to fixate on the
fact that in moments he would be surfing again. The last time he had surfed,
his dad had been alive. Without his dad to encourage his talent, he assumed he
would be nothing. 

            Marc
stopped the car in the parking lot as Tony hopped out and grabbed the boards
from the top. He starting running to the beach, calling for Marc to come join
him. Marc needed a moment to relax and take in what he was about to do. It had
been so long, he wasn’t sure if he even knew how to surf anymore. Walking down
to the beach slowly, he could already see Tony catching a wave in the distance
and riding it into shore. Marc envied him in a way, which was strange for him.
He was used to having Tony envying him, not the other way around. The waves
looked so inviting and he wished he could be like Tony. He wanted to be able to
go into the ocean, without the constant notion of fears or flashbacks holding
him back.

            He
was on the beach now and he could feel the soft breeze floating swiftly through
his shirt as he took it off. Tony was running towards him. Marc groaned already
knowing what he wanted. He would want him to get in the water and surf. Tony
didn’t understand that he just wasn’t ready for that yet. He didn’t need the
constant pressure of his best friend to get him in the water. He would go in
when he was good and ready.

            “Marc!
Come on in, man. The water feels great.” He called out from the shore as he
paddled on his board.

            “I’ll
be there in a minute. Just give me some time to get used to it.”

            “Get
used to it? You haven’t even touched the ocean yet. You could at least put your
feet in,” He pulled the board out and started walking back to Marc. “Can’t you
see I am trying to help you face your fears? It’s kind of hard to do that when
you’re not cooperating with me, you know.”

            Marc
sat down on the sand in anger. He usually didn’t get mad, but Tony was pressing
all of his buttons. He was tired of all of the pressure and the force to get
him into the water. His mother asked him constantly to get back in the water
and try to surf again. For the first few weeks that she asked, he had tried
every day. In the morning, he was dead set on doing it. When the afternoon rolled
around, he had already changed his mind. He knew he was overthinking things,
but that was just how he was. Thinking things over was what he did. He didn’t
know any other way of life.

            “Marc?”
Tony probed as he held Marc by the shoulders and shook him. “Are you alright
man? You haven’t said anything for a while and your face was completely blank.
I think you are trying to avoid surfing because it brings you tension and
heartache. I know the first time will be rough, but once you get over that it
should be smooth sailing.”

            “I’m
fine Tony,” He said trying to simmer his temper before speaking again. “I just
don’t think I am ready to do this again. It doesn’t feel like the right time
yet. I know it’s been awhile since he’s been gone, but it just doesn’t feel right
to do this without him. I feel lost.”

            “I
know you do and I am trying to help you find yourself again. Surfing was a huge
part of your life. I think if you tried it again, you would find who you are
again. Just try it. What do you have to lose? And you know he would want you
to. The legend lives on.”

            He
let out a sigh before speaking again. “I have been feeling lost for a long
time. It’s just I wish I had some closure, you know? It’s hard to even think
about doing the last thing my father did before he died. It just feels like
disloyalty. That’s the hardest thing to get over. It was hard enough losing
him, then I had to give up surfing too. I lost my life.”

            “But
it doesn’t have to be that way. In your mind you see it as being like that, but
it’s not. Your father would have wanted you to continue on. He wouldn’t have
wanted you to put your entire life on pause like you have. It’s not being
disloyal. It’s living your life again and making your father proud.” He stood
up and put out a hand to Marc in order to help him up. “So what do you say?
Want to give it another try?”

            “You
made it sound better at least.” He took his friend’s hand and stood up. “I’ll
give it another try. Be patient with me though. I haven’t surfed in forever. I
don’t even know if I can even step up on my board anymore.”

            “Nonsense.”
He handed the board to Marc. “Talent never goes away. You still have it. I’m
sure of it.”

            “How
can you be so sure?”

            “Because
I know you and what you’re capable of. You are a natural-born surfer. You were
bred to be the best and you still are. I have faith in you.”

            He
took the board in his hand and started walking toward the water. “I’m going to
try. For the first time, in a long time, I feel inspired. Thanks Tony.”

            “No
problem, I didn’t do much though. You did it on your own. You knew that you
couldn’t stay away from it forever. Some people were just born to do certain
things with their lives and surfing is yours.” He took his long board under his
arm, running freely into the ocean. He let it gobble him up as he screamed out
in joy.

            Marc
sighed, jealous of Tony once again. He used to have a free spirit just like
Tony did, but he didn’t anymore. He was tired of being held back by his fears.
Today he would face them. At least he told himself that he would. He put his
feet in the water as the rest of his body shivered by the cold. Tasting the
salty sea already in his mouth, he felt a temptation. He wanted more of the
rush. He wanted to feel it going through his veins. He was ready to make the
plunge.

            He
threw the board into the water and slapped himself across it. If he wanted to
do this, he was going to have to do it fast. He couldn’t give himself any more
time to change his mind. Time was the key. He moved fast as he started paddling
with the waves. He was feeling the same rush that he used to feel time and time
again. The waves were slapping across his body as he felt chills move across
his cold and wet skin. He couldn’t believe he was actually doing this. He was
here in the water, surfing again. He never thought he would see this day. He
hadn’t planned to surf for the rest of his life. When his dad died, he vowed he
would give up surfing forever. He couldn’t pull through with that promise.

            He
climbed the wave as he moved through it, he conquered it. Feeling a rush
throughout his body, he started swirling through the wave. He nailed a 360,
just as he had once before. His skills weren’t even rusty, which surprised him.
He figured he wouldn’t even be able to balance on a board again, but Tony had
been right. It had all come back to him, just as he said it would. He didn’t
know whether to feel happy or blessed. Feeling a bit of both, he rode the wave
back to the shore and popped off his board as he heard Tony cheering loudly in
the distance.