Shark Lover (4 page)

           
“Stop!
Stop! Stop!” She screeched. “I don’t want to talk about it or hear about it.”

            “Cathy,
you are almost eighteen years old. Don’t you think you are being a bit
immature?” Her mother asked her reasonably.

            “No.
You know it bothers me and I don’t want to talk about it. I don’t get why you
keep bringing it up.” She slammed the bowl down that she planned to use for her
cereal that morning. The porcelain bowl shattered as it broke into hundreds of
pieces across the floor.

            “Cathy,
please relax. I didn’t mean to upset you.” She stated trying to get through to
her eldest daughter. “I know you are having a hard time with this, I am trying
to help you through it. Let me get the broom. I’ll help you clean up this
mess.”

            “No.
I don’t need a broom! I’ll pick it up with my hands.” She leaned down
aggressively and started picking up the pieces and throwing them into a plastic
bag that she found in the cabinet. “I don’t need anyone. I’m fine. I don’t care
that he left me!” She started sobbing on the floor as the pieces of the bowl fell
from her hands and broke into more pieces.

            “I
know you miss Jason, but he wasn’t good enough for you Cathy. He never listened
to you. He didn’t want to do anything that you wanted. Remember when you asked
him to go to the beach with you and you found him there with another girl?” Her
mom thoughtfully answered.

            “Mom,
this isn’t about Jason! He’s a jerk. I could care less about him.” She looked
at her mother scornfully.

            “But
he did just leave you this week right? I know he made you happy.”

            “Thanks
for reminding me that my life is a mess. He didn’t make me happy, he was just a
mirage of happiness. I didn’t feel complete with him. I still felt empty inside
every time I was with him and he never loved me.” She held her knees close to
her face as she quietly cried. “It’s not about him. Don’t you know what is
coming up?”

            “Yes,
Cathy. Of course I do. I know your father’s birthday is in a few days. I see
your pain and believe me I feel it too. Carly feels it. We all feel it, but you
can’t keep holding this pain inside. It will just make you unhappy. That’s why
I am trying to help you talk about it. Can’t you just understand I’m trying to
help you Cathy? It kills me as a mother to see you like this. You haven’t eaten
much in weeks. I feel like I am losing you.” Pain entered her voice.

            “You’re
not losing me. Mom I just don’t feel like myself whenever something comes up
that reminds me of Dad. I miss him. It’s just easier not to talk about it or
think about it. It’s how I get through my life. It might not be the healthiest
way to deal with something, but it’s the only way that I know how to.” She
stood up and walked closer to her mother before grabbing her into a large hug.

            “I
just wish that I could help you. I feel like I am failing as a mother.” She
cried into her daughter’s shoulder.

            “Mom,
you could never fail as a mother. You are the greatest mother that a girl could
have. You have been nothing but understanding and compassionate. I love you
more than the world. Without you I would have never been able to get through
all of the pain. I just need you to understand that I am not ready to talk
about it. I know it’s been a long time now, but still I don’t really feel like
talking about it.” She held her mother’s gaze for a moment and smiled. “Mom, I
have to leave now. I am going to be late for school.”

            “Thank
you, dear. I will try to understand your feelings more. Maybe going to a
counselor would help? We’ll figure it out later. Have a good day at school.
Don’t let Jason be mean to you.” She smiled back.

            “No
counselor, Mom. I am fine. And ha Jason. He’s such a loser. If I see him I am
going to give him an evil stare. Katie and I already trashed his locker. We
picked up a bunch of dirty socks from the football team and stuffed every
single one of them in there.” She grinned sheepishly. “He’s going to be so
shocked when he sees it. I hope the smell alone knocks him out. He doesn’t
deserve to be conscious.”

            Her
mother’s eyes grew wide with shock. “Cathy, you didn’t. Please tell me that you
didn’t. Am I going to have to come up there and bail you out of the principal’s
office again?”

            Lately
Cathy had been the one getting in trouble rather than Carly. It felt good to be
the one in charge for a change. Cathy was going through so much and was having
a hard time dealing with it. Nearly every week she had been sent to the
principal’s office for one thing or another. Her mother had hoped that she had
just been acting out to get attention, but it was more than that. By acting
out, she was able to live in the present. She didn’t have to be compressed in
her thoughts of the past, which made her feel dark and alone. She tried
everything to be happy, but no matter what she did she couldn’t find that
happiness.

            “Oh,
but yes I did Mother.” She laughed sarcastically. “Even if I do get in trouble,
it’s totally worth it. What makes him think that he can get away with cheating
on me? I don’t care if he’s the leading quarterback on the football team. Cheat
on me and that’s what you get.”

            Her
mother let out a small sigh. “Cathy, what in the world am I going to do with
you? You make things so difficult.” She handed her a paper bag filled with her
lunch. “Now go to school and try to stay out of trouble before you give me all
gray hair.”

            Grabbing
the sack, she walked past her mother slowly. “Well, after school Katie and I
were planning on messing with Jason’s truck. He loves that thing like a God.
It’s so sad. I don’t think he will ever love anything more than that truck,
well maybe himself but that’s it. He won’t love Jamie either. She’s so stupid
to go out with him. I can’t believe that we used to be friends. I should do
something to her too.”

            Her
mother brushed a blond lock of hair off her face as her expression grew tense.
“Cathy, just stay out of trouble okay? Just leave Jason and Jamie alone. They
aren’t worth your time or your dignity. I don’t want you getting in trouble for
something so ridiculous. Now go to school.” She pushed Cathy out the door
slightly as she watched her walk to the street to her car.

            “Bye
Mom! I’ll try not to mess with Jason! I never messed with him before just so
you know!” She yelled across the street as a neighbor turned and looked at her
with a shocked look upon his face.

            Her
mother covered her face in embarrassment as Cathy pulled out of the street and
zoomed away. She loved embarrassing her mother and sister. She wasn’t sure why
she found such joy in it, but she did. She played with the radio until she
found a song that she liked. After it ended, a love song came on and she
changed it briskly. She wasn’t going to let anything ruin her day.

            “Are
you ready to go? It looks like the rain is coming in.” Marc stated as he
pointed to the darkening sky in the distance. “We don’t want to be out here
when it downpours.” He fixed the collar on this navy shirt as he stood up and
brushed some dirt off of his khaki shorts. “Also I wouldn’t want your dress to
get ruined.” He took a glance at her short butterfly patterned sundress as she
stood up.

            “Yep,
I’m ready. I don’t want to get caught in rain either, I just bought this
dress.” She smirked as she saw lightning in the distance and heard the soft
boom of thunder. “Hurry let’s make a run for it.” She snatched his hand and
started running as fast as she could. He had no choice but to run like the wind
with her.

            “You
run so fast!” He roared as the wind aggressively blew her blond curls all
around her face.

            “I
love to run!” Her hand swept up to tidy up the mess the wind had made in her
hair. “It’s so freeing. When I run it’s like I see the world differently. It’s
not so slow and calm. It’s fast and ever changing. I love the feeling I get.
It’s a rush, I can’t beat it.”

            He
was out of words. Blown away by her courage and freeness, he couldn’t help but
stare and admire her. He had never met a woman as free as she was. Cathy was
confident, strong and fearless. He couldn’t find a single flaw within her. The
way she smiled took his breath away and he couldn’t help but feel jealous. He
was jealous of it all; Jealous of her freeness, her confidence, her strength
and whatever guy she would end up with. He wanted to be free. Feeling stressed
all the time was his thing. He didn’t know how to let it go when he needed to.
She was inspirational and bringing out a new side of him that he had never
known was there. He was falling for her hard and he wanted to be the guy she
would want to be with.

            When
they reached the car, she burst out laughing. She couldn’t control her
laughter. She put her hand over her mouth and bent down trying to contain it,
but failing miserably.

            “Is
everything okay?” He asked confused. “What happened?”

            “Nothing.
That was just fun.” She laughed again as she opened the doors to her jeep and
they hopped in. “It felt good. Running in the wind like that. Sometime we will
have to run in the rain.” Rain started pelting hard down on the windshield as
she put the jeep in reverse.

            “You
enjoyed that? We almost got soaked.”

            “But
we didn’t. And yes of course I did. There’s nothing like living life to its
fullest and experiencing all the world has to offer. I love rain. Actually
there’s not much I dislike in life. We were given this chance to live, not to
watch it go by.”

            “Hmmmm…I
never thought of it that way.” His face turned into an expression of deep
thought.

            “I
learned it from my dad. My dad always told me to live my live and not to let
anything stop me. I think that’s the best way to live, so when we die we won’t
have any regrets because we lived and accomplished everything that we wanted
to.” She looked over at Marc quickly reading his expression. “I know it sounds
crazy, but it’s a good piece of advice. If I want to run through the Grand
Canyon or hike up Mount Rushmore, I will because I don’t want to live life
without doing the things that I was meant to do.”

            “Wow
that’s exhilarating and inspiring. It must be great not to have regrets. I feel
like I haven’t taken all the chances that I should in life.” He stated
carefully.

            “It’s
never too late to change. You can do whatever you want in this life. You just
have to push yourself to do it.” She answered as she stared at the road.

            “Maybe
I will then. I’m going to start living and stop holding myself back.” He
paused. “So I have a question.”

            “Sure.
Ask me anything.” Her eyes were still glued to the road.

            “Why
would someone like you want to be with me?” He stared at her beautiful face
that was so struck on concentrating.

            “What
do you mean?” She asked as her expression turned puzzled.

            “I
mean that you have everything. You’re beautiful, smart, confident, fearless, and
strong and I’m sure you must have hundreds of guys chasing after you. Why me?”
He turned away, staring out the window scared for her answer.

            “Because
you’re different.” She smiled still staring out the front piece of glass.

            “I’m
different?” He looked at her strangely. “Is that a good or bad thing?”

            “It’s
good. I don’t know if you noticed, but I normally don’t have any limitations. I
don’t know when to stop. It gets me in trouble a lot. With you, I find that
balance. I need someone like you to keep me in line.” She answered sure of
herself as she made a turn into the left lane of the road.

            “That’s
all I am to you? Balance?” He laughed as she looked at him in shock.

            “Oh,
I didn’t mean it like that. You do give me balance, but you give me harmony
too. Things just feel right with you. I can’t really explain it in words very
well. Every time we are together things feel right. I haven’t ever felt that
before.”

            “That’s
a good thing. I feel the same way.” He reached over to hold her hand as she
turned into the drive of his apartment complex. “Thanks for the ride. So I
guess I will see you Saturday for Shark Savors then. I’m actually looking
forward to it.”

            “Great!
I will tell the team that you’re coming. They are going to be so excited. It’s
going to be thrilling. You’ll want to come back every week!” She spoke fast as
excitement came into her voice with a thrill.

            “Haha!
We will see about that. I am looking forward to giving it a spin though. You
only live once right?” He chuckled and laughed.

            “Right.
Of course! Well I will see you on Saturday then.” She looked blissfully into
his brown eyes.