Shattered Edge (15 page)

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

Terri

I didn’t want to get up. I wanted to lay in bed and wallow in my self pity, but that wasn’t what I’d do. I wasn’t the “take to my bed” kind of girl. Besides, Alana would be here any minute, so I forced my butt into the shower and got ready for work.

By the time I was dressed, Alana was already in the office, working away.

“Hey, I heard the shower running. I didn’t want to bother you, so I just figured I’d get to work.” She looked up from the computer and she faced scrunched up. “Wow, you don’t look so good.”

“Thanks,” I said. “Just what I wanted to hear.”

“What’s up? Wait. Never mind.”

“No, something is up that I was going to tell you about.”

“More stuff?”

“Oh, you won’t believe this shit.” I told her how I’d caught my dad and Angela in the act.

“Ew. That’s just plain sick. Disgusting. I can’t believe her.”

“I can’t believe
him
.”

Alana got up from her perch at the computer and came to give me a hug. “I am so very sorry you’re having to deal with all of this. This is just not right Terri.”

“Well, it’s not like we get to choose what’s dumped in our laps now, is it?”

“No, but you’ve been through enough as it is. You didn’t need this added pile of crap.”

“Thanks girl, but everyone has their share of stuff too. I’m not the only one who’s been through it you know.”

“Well, if there’s anything I can do, just let me know. By the way, I found this on the floor of your living room when I came in this morning. I hope it was because you had a fun night.” She laughed as she handed me an unused condom, still in the package.

I looked at it like it was a two headed monster, and she started laughing.

“Your expression is priceless. You look like you’ve never seen one of those before.”

“Well, probably because I haven’t in a long time and I have no idea how it got here.”

She snickered and said, “Maybe you should ask that man of yours.”

I was looking at it and things were rolling through my mind at the speed of light. “No, we don’t need them. I’m a little baffled by it. I’ll ask him of course. Where was it again?”

“By the front door near the sofa as you head into the living room.”

My mind churned with WTF’s over how this thing got into my house. My first guess was the most obvious being Justin, but we didn’t use them. So why would he even have one, unless he still carried them from his past days? My suspicions of him started to emerge. I had no reason not to trust him. Until he gave me a reason not to, I shouldn’t be going down this road. I needed to ask him about this. And I would do that as soon as I could.

Pushing any other thoughts of this down, I forced myself to focus on the business and getting everything ready to crank as Terri Mitchell Real Estate.

“So when do you start classes?” I asked Alana.

“Next week. I’m nervous.”

“Don’t be. You’re going to have an advantage over everyone since you already have an impressive knowledge of the business.”

“Thanks Terri.”

“Well, let’s get to work, shall we?”

By the end of the day, we had everything set up how we wanted it.

********

Later that night, after I got home from the gym, I saw that Justin had texted me several times. I called him back.

“Hey.”

“Where’ve you been? I’ve been worried about you.”

“Sorry. I had to hit the gym. I missed a couple of workouts.”

“Is everything okay?”

I could tell he knew something was up.

“You didn’t by any chance leave a condom behind today did you?”

“What?”

“Alana found a condom in the living room when she came in this morning.”

“Um Terri, you know I don’t use those honey.”

“Yeah, that’s what I’d figured you’d say.”

I was met with silence.

Then he asked, “Why do I get the feeling you’re suspicious of me?”

“I guess it’s because my employee found an unwrapped condom in my living room this morning. I’ve never ever bought one of those things. That’s why. I was trying to figure out how the damn thing got there.”

“Terri, I swear, I didn’t put it there, nor is it mine. I haven’t bought a condom in quite a while.”

I had to ask. “Could it be one that you’ve had from a while back?”

I heard him sigh. “Okay, I’ll answer that because it’s a fair question, giving what you know about my past. The answer is no. I haven’t carried around a condom in...well, ever since that ugly episode last spring. You know which one I am referring to. I haven’t used them because I went and got tested, found out I was healthy and decided I was not going to live my life like that anymore. I would never have initiated any type of sexual activity with you if I had any doubts about that. Are you satisfied?”

“I guess so.”

“What do you mean, you guess so? Either you are or you aren’t.”

“Well, damn it Justin, that thing had to come from somewhere. It didn’t just fall out of the sky.”

“I know Terri, but couldn’t it have come from someone other than me? Look, we can sit here and debate this all night if you want. One thing is crystal clear to me. You don’t trust what I’m telling you and that really hurts. The
damn condom is not mine. End of story,” he clipped. “Now if you have anything else you’d like to talk about tonight, please feel free to call me back but I’m going to end this call, along with this discussion because I’m considering it closed.”

My phone cut off. He ended the call. We’d never done that to each other before. I stared at the phone and at all the little square Apps, not believing what just happened. He was right but I was too. We were clearly at an impasse. The thing is, if that condom wasn’t his, where the hell had it come from? They didn’t appear out of nowhere. Shit! I had a sinking feeling in my gut. This was not good at all.

My pacing wasn’t helping one bit. I knew I wouldn’t last five more minutes, so I gave into my need and called him back.

“Hey,” I said, my voice low. “I’m sorry.”

“Are you? Don’t say it because you think you need to say it. Say it because you mean it.”

Well damn!

“Can I come over?”

“Yes. You don’t have to ask Terri.”

“I’ll be there in fifteen.”

“Have you eaten?”

“Huh uh.”

“I’ll be waiting.”

My head was spinning, but I tore through my house and grabbed my things. The sky was darkened and heavy with storm clouds as I was headed toward downtown Charleston. I couldn’t help but think this was some kind of an omen of what would soon be taking place between us. I pulled into his driveway exactly fifteen minutes later and he was standing there waiting for me.

His gray eyes were dark and cloudy, but not with anger. It was pain that was reflected in them...deep, dark pain. “Your doubt really hurts me,” he said, his voice catching. I felt like a total shit. I wanted to cry, but wouldn’t allow myself to.

“I’m sorry Justin, I am. But I can’t figure this thing out and I guess I’ve had such a bad week that maybe I’m not looking at the whole picture. I’ve gone over everything in my head and the only other conclusion is that someone could’ve dropped it when they were putting in the security system or fixing the broken window.”

“So, you’re still not willing to give me the benefit of the doubt?”

“It’s more than that. It’s freaking me out a little. Did someone come into my house and accidentally drop it? Did you drop it? Did the security people drop it? My head is so messed up right now I can’t think straight.”

He rubbed his face with both hands and then said, “I understand how you’re mind is screwed up by everything. What bothers me though, is that you don’t trust me Terri. I’ve never lied to you or misled you since we’ve started seeing each other.
Veritas numquam perit
. Do you know what that means?”

I shook my head. Latin had never been my forte.

“It means, ‘Truth never perishes.’ I’m being truthful with you. I made you a promise and I haven’t broken it. If that condom is mine, it implies that I’m lying and I don’t like being called a liar.”

Now I felt like a complete and total shit.

“I totally get that. But Justin, what if someone broke into my house. What if Preston did it?”

“Well hell. I hadn’t thought about that. That’s a completely different thing.” He rubbed the back of his neck.

“You didn’t set the alarm this morning. It is a possibility.”

I was thinking along those lines when he said, “No more of that. Give your code to Alana. That system needs to be set at all times...even when you’re sitting at home during the day.”

“I think you’re right.”

We walked inside and he threw something together for us to eat. Everything between us felt off kilter, not balanced. He was understandably hurt and I was confused and scared. And I hated myself for hurting him. But then I started thinking about it all and that he had no real motives for withholding the truth.

I finally realized that he had to be telling me the truth. He had no reason to lie. If he’d dropped the condom, that is if he had been carrying one, he would’ve said something. There wouldn’t have been a reason for him to cover it up. He could’ve said that it was probably in his wallet from way back and it must’ve fallen out.

We’d just finished eating in silence when my stomach started to churn over what I just put him through. I turned to him and said, “God, I’m so sorry for doubting you...for questioning your integrity. Please forgive me Justin.”

I’d taken his hand in both of mine and then kissed his knuckles. I looked back up to him and said, “There is no excuse for my lack of trust in you so is all I can say is that I’m terribly sorry for not believing you.”

He didn’t say anything except nod and then he pulled me close to him and hugged me. We stood together like that and I grabbed a hold of his shirt and just cried. I felt like the biggest jerk in the world. “I’m so sorry,” I kept mumbling against his chest. He let me get it all out.

When I was able to get control of myself again, I felt like an even bigger fool.

“God, I’m such a lame idiot. I’m sorry for treating you that way and I
'm sorry I cried all over you.”

“Look, I need to tell you something.” He took my face into his hands and something stirred in his eyes. “When I told you I loved you, I didn’t mean it for a day or a week. I meant it for life Terri. I’ve never come close to saying those words to another girl before. I take them very seriously. If, for some reason, which I know in my heart will never happen, I find that my feelings for you have changed, I won’t cheat on you. I’ll tell you and we can decide how to deal with it first. I’m not that kind of a guy, whether or not you think of me that way. I will always be true to you and I’ll always be honest.” Then he lightly touched his lips to mine, and held me tightly. His words made me cry all over again.

He lifted me in his arms and carried me upstairs. We went straight into his bathroom, where he set me on the counter and then he took a washcloth and ran it under cool water. He wiped my face off and helped me clean off my makeup. He put some toothpaste on my toothbrush and helped me brush my teeth. When I was finished, he handed me a long strip of floss. Afterward, he helped me undress and gave me one of his t-shirts to sleep in.

He pulled the covers back and I climbed into bed. He slipped in next to me, pulling me into the curve by his side. I squiggled in close to him and thanked him for taking such good care of me.

“That’s what you do for someone when you love them, Terri.” I started to cry again.

“Shh. Don’t cry anymore sweetheart.”

I turned to him and put my arms around him. “I feel like such a shit. I’m so sorry I hurt you. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“I don’t want you to hurt me either babe. Let’s just forget this ever happened.”

“I’ll never forget the pain etched on your face when I got here Justin.” I put my fingers on his face and ran my thumbs lightly beneath his eyes and then across his brows.

He kissed me again, softly. “Terri, listen, I am a little worried about someone getting into your house. Promise me you won’t ever leave your alarm deactivated or your doors unlocked. Okay?”

I nodded. “Okay.”

Then we went to sleep. I had to be up early because I had to run by my dad’s office to pick up some last minute things.

********

My life was on an emotional roller coaster of the disastrous sort. Just when I thought things were going well, the bottom fell out. I left Justin’s and raced over to my dad’s office. I wanted to get there before he did so I wouldn’t have to see him. I know I was being a chicken, but damn it, it would be easier and after seeing him with the town whore’s head in his lap, I really wasn’t in the mood to face him.