Shattered Emotions (14 page)

“No, they won’t,” Maddox said as he and Logan bandaged up his brother. “You guys are going to drive there and make sure my brother lives. You are the enemy of the Centrals, and by that logic, we can only hope you aren’t ours as well.”

Logan growled, and Maddox shook his head.

“You guys were kicked out of the Talons for your own reasons. My father might ask why, no, he
will
ask why, and you will tell him. You don’t have to tell the rest of the Pack, but you
will
tell the Alpha. You’ll be safer there, and you’ll be saving my brother.” He looked into Logan’s eyes and thought he saw that spark of hope he needed to desperately cling to. “Please,” he pleaded.

“Parker will be safe?” Lexi asked as she wiped North’s brow.

“Yes,” Maddox promised. His Pack would never hurt pups. “Please help my brother. We can’t go back.”

He didn’t dare look at Ellie. He knew she’d be blaming herself when all of this wasn’t her fault. No, that lay solely on her brother’s shoulders.

“We’ll help him,” Lexi said while Logan growled.

“I’ll go get the car,” Logan said after a moment then stood. “We should be able to fit him in the back. Ellie, can you help Parker get some things packed so we can go?”

He ran off while Maddox looked at his brother, his twin, his lifeline. “You’ll be fine.”

North gave a weak smile. “Of course I will. You’re taking care of me.”

Maddox took a deep breath and tried to compose himself. “Damn straight I am. It’s a habit of mine.”

North laughed then blanched, pain arcing across his face. “Don’t make me laugh.”

Lexi cupped his cheek and smiled down on him. “Wimp. Now, stop moving so you can heal. We’ll get you to your Hannah.”

“Hannah’s our Healer,” Maddox explained, needing something to talk about other than what might happen to North.

“I assumed,” Lexi said with a blush.

“She’ll help him, and then everything will be okay,” Maddox said, rambling now.

“Of course,” Lexi said with a strained smile. “You…you can’t leave us, okay, North? You saved my son, and I need to repay you.”

“Not necessary,” North whispered as he looked into her eyes.

Maddox felt as though he was intruding on something personal, but he couldn’t leave them alone, not when his brother lay in pain, dying in his arms.

Maddox looked up as an SUV drove toward them and stopped. Logan jumped out and opened the back door.

“Okay, we’re going to have to get him carefully,” Logan explained. “This is gonna hurt.”

“I’m ready,” North croaked.

“I’ll sit in back with him,” Lexi said. “Just to make sure he doesn’t jostle too much.”

Maddox had a feeling it was more than that, but he wasn’t going to argue, not when he was leaving his brother’s life in strangers’ hands.

He leaned down and kissed his brother’s temple. “Stay safe, my twin. You’ll be okay. Our Hannah is amazing at what she does.”

“Keep Ellie safe, Maddox,” North whispered. “Not just from the outside, but from the inside as well.”

Maddox held back a retort, knowing what his brother said was not only true, but necessary.

“I’ll keep her safe.”

“Talk to her, explain why you’re staying away. Then don’t stay away. Life’s too short, Maddox.”

Maddox closed his eyes and shook his head. “Worry about yourself and your three new friends. I’ll stay with Ellie.”

“Be safe,” North said, his voice weak.

“Always.”

He and Logan carefully lifted North into the back seat, letting his head rest on Lexi’s lap. Parker and Ellie came out of the house, carrying bags, and put them in the back. Ellie’s face was pale, but she stood strong.

Parker came up to him and wrapped his arms around Maddox’s waist. “I’ll take care of him, Maddox. I promise.”

Maddox swallowed hard and hugged him back. “I know you will. This wasn’t your fault.”

“I’ll make sure he doesn’t regret what he did,” Parker vowed. He was a boy with too much knowledge of pain and darkness for his age.

Logan came up and pulled Parker away. “They might not welcome us with a bloody wolf in the back.”

“I called them to warn them,” Ellie said, surprising him.

“What?” Logan asked.

“I called Edward and told him what was going on. I’m still Pack, even if the world thinks I’m a killer.”

“Ellie…” Maddox started, but she shook her head.

“We’ll deal with my insecurities later. Get North to his family. They’re waiting on him and won’t cause you problems. Okay?”

Maddox blinked and cursed inwardly. He should have thought of calling his family, but he’d been so intent on taking care of North, all sense seemed to have left him.

He watched as the ex-Talons drove away, taking his brother and the only physical barrier between him and Ellie with them.

“He’ll be okay,” Ellie whispered as she slid her hand in his.

He held on tightly, needing her more than he wanted to admit.

“I know.”

“What do we do now?”

Maddox blinked but didn’t say anything. What else was there to say? The night had taken over, the enemy had tried to destroy them—almost succeeding—and now he was left alone with the one person he’d vowed never to be alone with.

He’d already given into his own impulses and pulled her into his arms earlier. God, had that been the same day? It felt as if it had been years ago, but in fact, less than an hour had passed since he’d pulled Ellie into his embrace and tried to warm her.

He shouldn’t have done it before, but for the life of him, he couldn’t fight it. He didn’t
want
to fight it anymore.

He knew he wasn’t good enough for her, and he’d only cause her heartache, but his wolf ached for her, and the man wasn’t far behind.

“Maddox? If you aren’t going to say anything, we should at least go inside and clean up.”

He swallowed hard and looked down at their linked hands. His brother’s blood covered them, drying in some areas, staining his skin beyond recognition. Ellie’s hand was also stained, but from holding his hand, not from North.

That was the problem.

He’d stain her, force her to wear his mark and his burden.

Unlike the blood on their hands, his “gift” wouldn’t wash away.

What right did he have to do that to the woman he was fated for?

“Yeah, we need to clean the blood off.” He swallowed hard, thinking about how much had soaked into the ground beneath their feet and also into their clothes. Goddess, North had to be okay.

“We will. They’ll take care of North, Maddox. You have to believe that.”

He shook his head. “I don’t know if I can. Not if I’m not there to see it for myself.”

She winced but pulled him toward the house. “You can still go, Maddox. I can stay somewhere on my own. You don’t need to stay by my side and protect me from the Pack’s eyes. I don’t even know if they believe I’ve been shunned anyway.”

“Ellie, you know I didn’t mean it that way.”

“You’re saying too many things you don’t mean a certain way, Maddox. After you wash up, why don’t you tell me what you do mean?” She turned and faced him, their hands still tangled. “We’re past the looks and lies, Maddox. We’re going to talk this out and figure out a way to move on together or apart. Either way, our wolves deserve more.
I
deserve more.”

She left him then to go to the bathroom while he stood there dumbstruck.

She did deserve more, but how did he explain that and not break her heart?

He wasn’t sure there was a way.

He went to the kitchen sink and took a deep breath. The slight pink of the sky startled him, and he shook his head. It was almost daybreak. They’d spent most of the night worried and making plans for how they’d all leave to find a safe place. Then Corbin had come and shattered that semblance of peace.

Maddox wasn’t even sure there had been peace to begin with, but this uncertainty was even worse. He only hoped his family would risk calling him to tell him and Ellie about North. He knew they needed to keep contact to a minimum so the traitor within the Pack would think he’d left with Ellie because she’d been shunned.

There was only so much they could do outside the den walls though.

He hated not being able to help more, but there was nothing he could do, at least not yet and not until he and Ellie had spoken about the things they’d left unspoken for far too long.

He dried off his hands and walked into the living room where Ellie knelt on the floor, repacking her bag as if she wanted to be ready to go at a moment’s notice.

“We need to talk, but first we need to plan,” she said, not bothering to turn around. “Safety is more important than angst at the moment.”

Ellie might have been shadowed and fearful of most who could harm her, but every once in a while, she’d get these sudden bursts of strength and attitude. He lived to see more of those, to relish in the fact that she was healing.

Even if it was without his help.

“I think we can stay here for a bit,” he said as he sat down on the couch, placing his head in his hands. He needed to stop and think. So much had happened in such a little amount of time he couldn’t put it all together.

“Won’t they be coming for us?” she asked as she turned to him but didn’t move closer.

He could still smell her spicy and sweet scent as it was, so he was glad she stayed away from him.  He didn’t know if he could control himself if she stood closer.

“Yes, and they know where we are, but honestly, we don’t have anywhere else to hide on neutral ground. The Centrals will find us, no matter where we go, but I’d rather fight them on land I know and have the ability to protect.”

“So we’ll stay here for a bit then?” Ellie finally moved and sat on the coffee table in front of him, their knees barely brushing.

He sucked in a breath at the slight touch but didn’t move.

“I don’t think Corbin will think that we’ll stay here. Plus, he’s hurting. Bastard should have been hurting more, but at least he’s in a bit of a fix.”

She brushed a lock of hair from his face. Her touch was so gentle, so hesitant, that Maddox resisted the urge to pull her close and never let go.

“North will be okay, Maddox.”

“I want to believe you.”

“Then do.” Her hand trailed from his hair to cup his scarred cheek, and he leaned into her touch, not caring that she again touched him where no one else had.

“Ellie, this can’t happen,” he whispered, but even to his own ears, he didn’t sound as though he meant it as strongly as he had before.

She didn’t flinch or move her hand. “Tell me why, Maddox. Does your wolf not want me? No, that can’t be true. My wolf knows your wolf wants us together, so it has to be the man. Do you not want me?”

He closed his eyes, unable to look into her dark ones and lie…but did he need to lie?

No, it was time to tell her why. Tell her why she couldn’t be his and that she should move on so she could be happy because if anyone deserved to be happy it was her.

“Ellie, God, I want you. You have no idea how much I want you,” he said quickly.

Her eyes brightened then narrowed. “Then why don’t you want to be my mate? Am I not good enough?”

He shook his head and cupped her face with his hands. “You are incredible, Ellie Reyes. You are the strongest person I know. You’re the one who I could see my future with, the one I’d want by my side if it was possible. I love the way you smile when you find yourself in a place you feel you’re allowed to be happy. I love the way that, even though the world seems to be against you, you still try to show them that you’re better than they think. I love that, no matter what happened in your past, you’re determined to make your future brighter. I love the way the wind hits your hair in just the right way that it frames your face and still blows behind you, making you look like a proud warrior.”

Tears spilled down her cheeks, and he wiped them away with his thumbs, needing her to know how much he wanted her, how much she meant to him.

“Ellie, you’re precious to me. You have to believe that.”

“Then why…why, Maddox?”

“Because if we were to create the mating bond, I’d break that fragile peace you’ve woven for yourself. I’m like the blood on your hands, Ellie. I’ll stain you, break down the barriers you made, and ruin you.”

Fire lit her eyes, and she pulled away from his touch, leaving him bereft.

“Seriously? You’re saying that you want me like no other and say all those beautiful things, yet do nothing about it? Is this really the it’s-not-you-it’s me talk?”

He shook his head and took her hand in his. She pulled back, but he tightened his grip. “Ellie, it’s not that. I’m the Omega; I can’t mate.”

She snorted. “No, you only think that.”

“When was the last time you knew an Omega that had a mate?”

“So you’re saying that Omegas shouldn’t mate, even though fate has given us a chance? The other Omegas might have been idiots and pulled away to protect themselves, but I thought you were better than that. I thought that
we
were better than that.”

“Ellie, you’re not to blame. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Too late for that, you ass. You’re doing it by saying we can’t be together when you’re just too scared to.”

“It’s more than just you and me; it’s all the powers of the Pack, baby.”

“Don’t you baby me, Maddox Jamenson. You’re going to tell me exactly what you mean right now because I’m tired of watching you and not having the courage to do anything about it. You keep telling me that I’m strong, that I’m a warrior. Well, hell, I haven’t felt that. I’ve
never
really felt that, not where I came from. Now, you’re going to have to deal with this new me you seem to think I am. What do you think I can’t handle as your mate? What am I too weak for?”

He let out a breath and pulled her to his lap, needing to hold her, despite what he needed to say. She struggled for a moment then relaxed.

“Just because I’m sitting on your lap doesn’t mean I’ve given in. You have a lot to explain.”

“I’m the Omega, Ellie. That means I can feel every emotion of every member—no matter what it is. My powers are even stronger than my dad’s sometimes. Most days I’m so overwhelmed I feel numb and electrified at the same time. Sometimes I feel as though there’s so much pressure on my chest my heart could burst at any moment. Those days I can’t breathe or think, and I need to hide in my room so I can recover and try to act normal. That’s all it is, Ellie—an act.”