She Belongs to Me (8 page)

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Authors: Carmen Desousa

BOOK: She Belongs to Me
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“From the second our eyes met, electricity soared through me, and somehow you became the center of my universe. Nothing else seemed to matter. I wasn’t looking for this. I tried to get up and leave the restaurant the moment it happened, but I couldn’t, even when you turned me down. But the funny thing is…I saw it in your eyes yesterday, and I see it now. You felt it too, didn’t you?”

How could she deny him? She was hesitant, but she needed to be truthful. “Yes, but it’s simply not possible—”

He grasped her shoulders and pulled her closer, cutting off her words with a kiss that demanded everything. His mouth enveloped hers, making her
want
more. Once again, though, he pulled back too soon.

“You did experience it?” Jaynee
nodded,
her head spinning from the kiss he’d planted on her. He sighed. “Thank God, and you’re not going to dismiss me
as if
I’m some kind of maniac?”

“No…” She gulped, knowing he meant well, but positive he’d leave. “But you still want to hear my story?”

He nodded his head with a little tilt. “Yes. I want to take it from you, but only if you are ready.” He brushed her hair back away from her face again and rested his hand against her cheek. “Who hurt you, Jaynee? Please talk to me.”

“I’m frightened, Jordan.” She shook her head. She couldn’t reveal her secrets. Acid churned in her stomach at the thought of exposing her skeletons. “I’ve never opened up before and don’t know if I can. I just want to finish college and not have to worry about anything but myself. What if I give you everything inside me, and then you turn around and hurt me? I cannot handle any more heartbreak. You live in another state for heaven’s sakes.”

Jordan waited without saying a word. His eyes looked so sincere. As if he really cared about her. Why? Why did he care?

Jaynee heaved a sigh. “It wasn’t just one individual. Everyone in my life has wounded me except my grandmother. My parents, family members, so-called friends, my ex-boyfriend, everyone has destroyed a piece of me. I was born a mistake and continue to make horrible decisions.” Tears began to fall again. She turned her face away to shield herself.

He turned her face back to his. “Don’t hide from me, Jaynee.” His tone was gentle, reassuring. “You don’t have to talk now. But I promise I’ll be here when you are ready.” He stretched out the length of the couch and
pulled her down with him. His arm encircled her neck. After wiping away her tears with his fingertips, he grazed across her cheekbones and down her jaw. “You are so beautiful,” he crooned, his words just above a whisper.

She released a nervous chuckle.
“Hardly.
I’m a blubbering fool.” Her voice was barely audible from the ridiculous tears.

“Will you be my fool then?” He brushed his lips across her forehead. “You don’t have to explain anything. We can start with a clean slate.”

It didn’t seem possible but he pulled her even closer, and all she could think was she wasn’t close enough. Maybe if she could bare her soul she would be closer.

“Why aren’t you taken?” she asked again, the question in her mind that didn’t compute.

He exhaled as he contemplated his answer. “Well, honestly…I haven’t found anyone I was interested in.” He tilted her chin up and kissed her lips softly, then pulled back, smiling.
“Until now anyway.”

She couldn’t help but smile, though it was a half-hearted attempt. Could she trust him? His arms felt so wonderful wrapped around her. She wanted to trust him. She wanted to believe he was sincere.

He moved his hand to the back of her head. His hand trailed down her hair and finally rested on her hip. His touch caused her mind to rocket. Feelings she hadn’t considered in years invaded her senses.

He inhaled deeply before speaking again. “But,
I
do date…I just don’t usually make it to a second. They expect a dumb hick and my interests run deeper than
most g
irls can keep pace. But not you,
you held my attention from the first few seconds. And then, when we talked for hours yesterday and there was so much more I wanted to know. I didn’t want to let you go and hated I didn’t get your phone number. I counted the minutes until the restaurant opened for dinner. Here I go again rambling. I want to hear about you, and I keep doing all the talking.”

 

Jaynee let out what sounded like a contented sigh—it was a wonderful sound—then she nestled her head further against his chest.

“Too good to be true.”
Her words muffled against his shirt, and Jordan wasn’t certain he heard correct.

He pulled the afghan off the back of the sofa and wrapped it around her. Pressing his lips to her forehead again, he breathed in the unique vanilla scent. She smelled incredible, and he wanted her fervently. It took every ounce of self-control he possessed to impede her hands. It had been too long, and Jaynee was so warm and delicate. But more than the physical want was for her to trust and love him. Yes, that was all he wanted. He wanted to take her home. He wanted her to be his wife. It didn’t ma
tter he didn’t know her secrets;
it didn’t matter they only met yesterday. Nothing seemed to matter other than he could not accept to live without her from this moment. He felt an all-consuming desire to not only love her but protect her.

Jordan felt Jaynee’s body go limp with sleep, and her quiet breaths grew soft and even. He wondered if he should leave. She mentioned her grandmother lived
across the street. What would she think of a strange truck in the driveway?

Jaynee said she didn’t date, so he was certain she didn’t make a habit of bringing men home. She was a consenting adu
lt and did have an ex-boyfriend;
though
,
she said it singularly
,
as if there had only been one. He shifted his thoughts. He didn’t want to think about her with another man. The immediate fury that welled up inside of him at just the thought—he cut off the image.

Instead, he looked at the woman in
his
arms. She would be his, and he didn’t need to worry. He’d never lose control again.

He had learned to subdue his anger after the last time. The thought of someone he loved looking at him as if he couldn’t be trusted ensured that. It was the main reason he didn’t drink much.

He wasn’t an alcoholic. But when he drank too much, he became either amorous or antagonistic depending on the situation. Either of which could land a man in a heap of trouble. He liked to keep his thoughts clear, and right now, he was thinking crystal clear. Jaynee would be his.

Closing his eyes, Jordan decided to stay. It felt too good holding her. Moreover, maybe he could attain some morning time with her. Tomorrow was a school day, but maybe she’d skip and the
y could return to the beach she’d
mentioned. What had she called i
t?
Honeymoon Island…how apropos.

 

***

 

Kenny’s car crawled through Caycee’s neighborhood for the third time this evening.

The truck in her driveway was still there, and it was late. She had an overnight guest. Brian wasn’t going to be happy about this when he called, collect as usual. He was already furious when he heard about her just having coffee with the guy.

Brian had asked Kenny if she
’d
received his letter. “How the heck was I supposed to know if she got a letter or not?” His tone made it clear to Brian he wasn’t happy about this. Stalking his buddy’s ex-girlfriend wasn’t something he particularly enjoyed. If he got caught, he’d end up in jail, right alongside Brian.

It was ridiculous Brian insisted Kenny drive by the restaurant and her house every night. Though, it was the least he could do for his friend who had not given him up as an accomplice. But he knew Brian would turn on him in a heartbeat if Kenny didn’t do what he wanted.

In truth, he didn’t understand Brian
’s infatuation. Caycee was good
looking, sure, but Brian was fanatical over her. Always saying how “she was his” and “she belonged to him”, it was downright creepy.

It wasn’t as if Kenny was the best dude in the world. He had his share of relationships, but he never carried on so much about one woman. He’d use them and release them.

But Caycee held some kind of spell over Brian. Not enough to make him stop doing what he wanted, but he’d go crazy if anyone even looked at her.

He remembered one dude who was sitting beside Brian and Kenny at the bar where she used to work. He merely commented to his buddy, “I’d like to hit that”.

Any warm-blooded male would. ’Course Kenny knew better than to ever say it aloud. Brian didn’t say a word to the dude; instead, he waited until it appeared as though he
were
leaving. When the man went to
the
bathroom, Brian dragged Kenny outside.

After retrieving a tire iron from his car, Brian waited around the side of the building, informing Kenny to keep a lookout. When the dude rounded the corner, Brian grabbed him and beat the crap out of him. He never hit him on the head, but the dude sure wasn’t going to be able to walk or write for a while. Brian never spoke a word or took his wallet, and it was too dark to ID him, so the crime went down as a hate crime. Kenny knew better. It was a crime of passion; Brian was obsessed.

As he drove away, he scrolled through his playlist on his iPod for
Korn
. He needed to clear his mind. The guitar solo in
Did
my Time
stole his cares away for a few minutes, but then he thought about what Brian would ask of him.

Brian wouldn’t be happy about Caycee’s new beau. He wondered what he would expect. Kenny couldn’t beat someone down with a tire iron. He was a petty thief nothing more, just enough to survive. All he needed was enough money to
smoke a little weed, get drunk,
and skim and surf when the waves were up.

Brian was the big-money guy. Always wanting more, always needing more. Intelligent too…smarter than
Kenny ever was, but he had gotten busted and would be away for five years. He expected Caycee to wait, even though she broke off their relationship almost six months before his arrest. Kenny knew Brian wouldn’t accept this fling. He was fine as long as she didn’t date anyone else, and she hadn’t, until now.

 

 
 
 

63

 

Carmen
DeSousa

Chapter
Five

(December 2009)

 

Jaynee could hear Jordan’s whispered words, but they sounded distant. He wanted her to
wakeup
. She attempted to open her eyes
,
but they were heavy, as if a massive wool blanket was smothering her.

She tried to roll over, but she couldn’t feel her hands, her feet or any other part of her body for that matter. Muffled sounds filled the air, but they were difficult to discern. They sounded far away, as though they were outside her wool cocoon.

Where was she? How did she get here? She tried to call for Jordan, but her lips wouldn’t respond either. Would he even endeavor to rescue her from her prison? She vaguely recalled he was angry, but couldn’t remember why.

Her entire body felt numb. The only thing she could feel was her head and it started pounding uncontrollably. Without warning, the throbbing increased, and she cried out in the darkness for relief. The voices were closer now, but they weren’t helping. The pain was unbearable. It felt as if something
were
crushing her skull in a vice. Her screams echoed inside this fleeced darkness, making the pain worse.

 

“What’s happening?” Jordan wailed as several nurses rounded the corner when the alarms pierced the silent space.

The first nurse who entered pushed by him then flashed a light in Jaynee’s eyes. Another nurse checked the wires connected to Jaynee’s head, but then suddenly whipped around to look at the screen. The P.A. that had been attending Jaynee earlier ran into the room.

Jordan stared in horror as they bustled around her, rearranging wires as if they were going to take her away from him.

Jaynee was hurting. She hadn’t moved, but her features creased as if she
were
in pain. “Is she—

“You’ll have to leave, sir!” The male P.A.’s voice rang out in
a frenzy
as they wheeled Jaynee out of the room. He shouted orders to the nurses as they sped her down the corridor.

Jordan had been talking to Jaynee, holding her hand just minutes ago. The machines were keeping a steady rhythm lulling him to slumber. It had been almost seven hours since her surgery when her eyes started darting under her lids. He had begged her to
wakeup
. He had apologized repeatedly for pushing her to this extreme. He was certain she was coming around until the alarm sounded.
Dear God, I can’t lose her
, he prayed. He hadn’t stopped praying all night, but he wasn’t sure that God was listening. After all, he was the one who got drunk and told her to leave.

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