Authors: Mary Carter
She'll Take It (32 page)
I'm not completely redeemed of course. My family now requires a receipt for every gift I've bought them since the unveilingâbut I'm okay with that. I haven't stolen anything since the deli man's
heart attackâbut I'm certainly not cured. Like Greg said, it's a day at a time type of thing. Trina went wild with rage when she came to my show and saw “Ode to Trina.” She would have ripped it to shreds if Greg and Zach hadn't been there to pull her off. “Family heirloom?” I whispered to her as they dragged her away. “I didn't realize you hailed from Taiwan.” I added that I had a very good list of psychiatrists if she wanted any referrals.
heart attackâbut I'm certainly not cured. Like Greg said, it's a day at a time type of thing. Trina went wild with rage when she came to my show and saw “Ode to Trina.” She would have ripped it to shreds if Greg and Zach hadn't been there to pull her off. “Family heirloom?” I whispered to her as they dragged her away. “I didn't realize you hailed from Taiwan.” I added that I had a very good list of psychiatrists if she wanted any referrals.
The opening, which I called “Saint of Kleptomaniacs,” was a surprise hit. I guess I have the Saints to thank for that. The wonderful, helpful, silly little Saints who I was also putting to rest for now. I've started learning about the real onesâand there are almost as many as the ones I've made up. I'm still a vicarious Catholic, but I'm actually enjoying learning about Saint Katherine, Saint Joan of Arc, Saint Jude, Saint Elmoâwhere there's a want, there's a Saint. And guest what? They weren't all perfect. They were wonderfully flawed, complicated humans struggling to make sense out of their lives. Some of them were even reformed sinners. Now that's my kind of Saint.
The End
But hopefully, just the beginning
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Copyright © 2006 by Mary Carter
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ISBN: 978-0-7582-6643-9
Notes
1
Exceptions:
Breakups, weight gain, job losses, crummy auditions, great auditions where you don't get a callback, high Visa bills, cavities, the trauma of using automated telephone menus, surprise visits from stalkers and/or muggers, surprise visits from Mom or Zach, no visits or phone calls from CLOML (Current Love Of My Life)âi.e., Rayâand henceforth any unforeseen tragic bouts of stress.
Breakups, weight gain, job losses, crummy auditions, great auditions where you don't get a callback, high Visa bills, cavities, the trauma of using automated telephone menus, surprise visits from stalkers and/or muggers, surprise visits from Mom or Zach, no visits or phone calls from CLOML (Current Love Of My Life)âi.e., Rayâand henceforth any unforeseen tragic bouts of stress.
2
Exceptions: Research has shown that filing all day in a dark room may cause a Vitamin D deficiency that can lead to momentary lapses in judgment.
3
Exceptions
: If it is Valentine's Day and the love of my life has broken my heart and humiliated me in a public place, then the above is null and void and I may steal whatever I wish wherever I please.
: If it is Valentine's Day and the love of my life has broken my heart and humiliated me in a public place, then the above is null and void and I may steal whatever I wish wherever I please.
Let's rewind, shall we?
V-Day 11:30 A.M., Central Park West
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