Shh! (16 page)

Hi Olivia, I sent your wedding invite to your parents. I’ve allocated you a plus one, so make sure you bring someone exciting! Like maybe that guy you were raving about at Christmas. See you soon. B x

Ha. It was months away yet, and no way in hell would I bring Christian.

The courtyard noise was just starting to die down when a knock sounded on my door. Everyone must have been swarming the buses to town. The social committee would have organised one or two to ferry everyone in to the Central Hotel and back home. I wouldn’t know, though, having missed the last meeting. I was still annoyed about that as I opened the door to find Logan standing in the hall with an armload of bags. He glanced past me before his gaze flicked back to mine.

“I’m not inviting you in,” I said. “Let’s go.”

A small smile grew on his face as he stepped back to make room for me to join him in the hallway. And that’s exactly why I wasn’t inviting him in. We were friends, nothing more.

How was it that dressed in sweat pants he still managed to look like he’d stepped out of a catalogue?

“So, what’d you get?” I asked as we traipsed down the stairs.

Logan kept pace with me all the way to the common room. I figured we’d pretty much have it to ourselves with the whole dorm being in town at the Central. And I’d guessed right, as we walked into the small games room that doubled as another common room. I was glad to find it empty. Logan tossed his grocery bag onto one of the chairs and delved into a second bag, pulling out a stack of movies.

“I figured you’d be a chick flick kind of girl, so I got a few of them. But I also got the latest Bond, a new superhero show, and a couple of comedies. Take your pick.”

“You hired seven movies, Logan? Seven?”

“Ya huh. What’s it going to be?”

“Seven?”

Logan glanced up from his perusal of the back covers and blinked wide blue eyes. “Seven.”

I smiled as he handed them off to me. They all looked kind of good, but I wasn’t clueless to most guys’ tastes, so I wouldn’t make him sit through a rom-com. I held up the superhero movie. “What about this one?”

Logan shrugged. “Sure, I don’t mind.”

I popped it in the player, flicked off the lights, and turned to find a good position. Logan already looked at home scooched down in one of the double armchairs with his long legs propped on the chair in front that he’d spun around to face us. An assortment of junk food was strewn over a low table he’d dragged nearby. I looked around, trying to decide where to sit. If I chose one of the single chairs, I’d be a mile away, but there wasn’t a lot of room to squeeze in beside him. It’d be pretty close.

As if he knew what I was thinking, Logan patted the other side of his chair and shot me one of his cheeky grins. “I don’t bite, Liv. Unless you want me to.”

Taking a deep breath to steel myself against the affect that being so close to him was sure to have, I plopped into the double chair. As the opening credits started, I settled down into my seat, for once feeling happy with where I was—not forced to be the life of the party when I’d rather be alone, nor hiding out in my room wondering what people were saying.

“What’s Jordan up to tonight?” I asked.

“Working,” Logan answered.

“Yeah, where’s he work?”

“He makes pizza. I’ve gotta be out of here by eleven thirty to pick him up.”

“On a school night?”

Logan shrugged. “We don’t have a lot of choice. Thursday’s the only weeknight he works. His other shifts are on the weekends.”

We settled into comfortable silence, both watching the screen. After a while, Logan stretched his arm out over the back of the chair. Warmth radiated from him onto the back of my neck and prickled down my side, even though we weren’t touching. I kind of wished we were. I wanted nothing more than to relax by pulling my legs up onto the seat and snuggling in. But I didn’t. The boundaries needed to stay firm. We had a good friendship, and I didn’t want to spoil it when he didn’t want more.

No matter how hard I tired, I couldn’t get into the movie. It probably had something to do with the hunk of a guy sitting next to me, sprawled out like he owned the place. Or like this didn’t bother him at all. We were so close I could hear each breath he took. Was that normal? You couldn’t generally hear people breathe. Could you? Cripes, maybe it wasn’t his breathing, maybe it was mine. I could sure hear my heart hammering against my chest.

Darn it. I was here to watch a movie.

Kicking my feet up on the chair in front of us, I forced myself to focus on the screen. The hero was taking a whooping from some random villain and really, I had no idea what had happened in the overall story because I hadn’t paid a lick of attention up until now. As he snuck up on the bad guy’s lair, the music grew tense and so did I. The good guy would save the day for sure, but maybe it’d be a hard fight to get there. And his girl was in danger. The eerie glow cast through the common room from the lights being out only enhanced the atmosphere. He was almost there and the tension was palpable.

An explosion rocked the screen.

I screamed.

Logan’s hand dropped onto my shoulder and he pulled me into his side, tucking me under his arm. Trembling, I let out a tiny laugh as I curled in.

“Dumb movie,” I said on a shaky breath.

I felt him chuckle as I pulled my legs up and curled them to the side to watch our superhero save the world. It had been a long day, and as the movie moved into what was surely the closing scene, I started to feel tired. Logan’s chest was barely an inch from my face, but I wouldn’t fall asleep on him again. I couldn’t. My eyes started to slide, but I caught them just in time and forced them open. Logan’s arm rested warm and heavy around me and it would be a lie to say I didn’t like it. The closing credits rolled onto the screen and neither of us moved. Maybe he’d fallen asleep. The way his chest rose and fell was kind of slow, sleepy.

The credits finished up and the screen flicked to blank. Still Logan didn’t move. His hand rested on my hip, his arm still curled around me. He had to be asleep. It felt so good in his embrace, I let my cheek drop onto his chest. It would only be for a moment, and he’d never know. A moment wouldn’t hurt anyone, right?

Logan smelled so good. A fresh ocean scent mixed with a masculine musk that made my senses tingle. All of them. My tummy fluttered in ways it shouldn’t near a friend.

I nuzzled into him for one last stolen moment then went to pull away, but Logan’s hold on me tightened and he mumbled something completely incomprehensible. My heart must have thought it was missing out on the party my tummy was having because it started its own weird flutter too, and good heavens, I needed space and I needed it right now.

Moving with the care of a neurosurgeon, I gently lifted Logan’s hand and slipped out from his hold in a contortionist-like move that had me holding my breath as I swivelled away. Then I placed his hand on the lounge, and let go. Logan looked as peaceful as a sleeping puppy. His dark lashes fanned his cheeks, which were slightly rosy from the warmth of the room, and made his usually striking features look somehow more innocent than hot. If I just reached out and laid my hand against his cheek …

Get a grip.

I switched out the movie for one of the rom-coms. If he was sleeping anyway, it didn’t really matter what I put on. There was no way I could slide back into my spot without waking him, so I sat on the floor and rested my back on the seat where I had previously sat. Logan’s knee was touching my shoulder, and my waist felt cold without his arm there.

This movie proved to be almost as hard to concentrate on as the last one. If I just rested my heavy eyes for a second …

Something startled me awake.

“Shit!” Logan cursed as he jumped over the top of me. “Shit, shit, shit!”

“What is it?” I asked, rubbing my eyes with my knuckles.

“I’m late. I gotta go.”

I jumped to my feet and Logan swooped in, planting a kiss on my cheek. “See you later, Liv.”

I offered him a weak smile which he returned just before he dashed out of the room. There was no point watching the rest of the movie because I had no idea what was going on after having slept through at least half of it, so I ejected the disc and packed up our mess. As I plodded up to my room with my hand pressed to my cheek, thoughts of how nice it felt cuddled into Logan’s side filled my mind, no matter how hard I pushed them away.

I climbed into bed, still smiling, and pulled the covers up under my chin. If I just tried hard enough, maybe I could move past my own darn insecurities and make things with Logan work out … somehow. The rumours, the study time, his closed off attitude … maybe none of it really mattered.

****

I woke with a start. Each pound of my heart was so huge it slammed against my ribs.

“Wake up Oxley, it’s snowing!”

Laughter followed the shout. Freaking drunk people. I bet it wasn’t even cold enough to make their breaths frost.

“Shut up!” Came a reply from across the courtyard.

That only caused more laughing.

With a groan, I glanced at the glowing numbers of my digital clock. 3:09. Far out. Go to bed, people.

Then I froze.

Ohmigod.

I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t move, couldn’t even …

My hand was on the inside of my underwear; my fingers nestled close to my body.

It was true. It was all true. Everything they’d said was true.

True.

True.

I yanked my hand away like it was poison. I clamped my thighs together and rolled onto my side, shoving the offending appendages under my pillow and crunching my head down on top. Christian, Ella, my moaning so loud I woke people up.

True
.

Oh my-freaking-goodness. They’d seen me. My whole darn floor had seen me mid-act. That story about having my hand … I couldn’t breathe. Ella wasn’t just being a jerk, she was telling the holy truth. There’s no way I’d be able to look her in the eye again. It was far too mortifying.

I gulped against a desert-dry mouth.

This couldn’t be real. Tonight had to have been a once-off. Maybe I was itchy, or dreaming, or holy buttercup, anything but that. Surely it wasn’t possible to do something and not realise it. Nothing made any sense.

I swallowed the tightness in my throat and squeezed my eyes shut, wishing to high heaven that I was dreaming and I’d wake any second.

I didn’t.

Because I was already awake. Who was I kidding?

My stomach felt tight and so did my chest. Unable to hold it any longer, I sucked in a huge breath. I could never show my face again knowing that every time Ella or Christian or any of the guys on my floor saw me, they’d be picturing me naked. Just like they’d seen me before …

Like that.

I just … couldn’t.

How could I ever sleep again knowing that I might do something inappropriate? I could scream, moan, or yell for everyone to hear, and oh my gosh, what about when I wasn’t at college sleeping behind a locked door? When I was home for the holidays? Good lord, had I always done this? All those sleepovers with friends in high school …

Logan.

His name seared through my mind, dropping a heaviness inside me. There could never, ever be anything more between us. I never wanted him to see me like this.
Ever.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

“What happened with the election, Olivia? I heard you weren’t voted in?”

That was my mother. No fluff, no hugs, no
happy you’re home
. Just straight to the point of what mattered. I leaned against the kitchen counter, too tired to hold my posture straight, while she prepared my homecoming meal. It looked like some kind of chicken dish, maybe cacciatore. I’d been here for all of two hours and this was the first chance we’d had to talk, since she’d only returned from work ten minutes ago. I had tried to crash in that time, but it seemed being too tired to sleep was possible. I’d barely snatched a wink since discovering what I did while asleep.

“Well?”

“Not sure.” I shrugged. “Guess I wasn’t popular enough.” With her, it was easier to lie than tell the truth. News of the suspension would result in two weeks of her droning disappointment and lectures about my stupidity. I wasn’t sure I had the strength to cope with that.

“Well, you mustn’t have worked the crowds hard enough. Elouise Parry said Ella told her you’ve been a little absent because something happened with Christian. That’s not good enough. These things take social skill, Olivia, and that’s something we’ve taught you.” She tisked. “How are you going to fix it?”

“Try harder. Do more.” I sighed.

My mother’s lips pressed together as she stirred the steaming tomato mix. “You know how important these things are. Your father may have secured a preliminary internship for you, but that’s still dependant on you, Olivia. On your own records and standing. It would pay for you to remember that.”

“Yeah, I know.”

She drew in a noisy breath. “Yes, not yeah. Use your words properly, lest you sound uneducated.”

“Yes, Mum.” I turned to head back upstairs.

“Olivia? How are things between you and Ella? Elouise said you girls are going through a rough patch.”

My phone vibrated in my pocket. “I need to use the bathroom, Mum.”

As I jogged up the stairs, I whipped the phone out of my pocket, and Logan’s name illuminating the screen made me smile.

Are you there yet?

Yes, I’m here. Wish I was there though.

And wasn’t that the truth. At least I could hide from whoever was bothering me there. Kind of. Here I had no choice but to put up with them. My phone buzzed in my hand with another text from Logan.

Which is here and which is there? If there means here, then I wish you were there too.

I laughed and my response was completely unrelated, but something that had been playing on my mind since Central Night.