Shh! (22 page)

If anyone could make me feel like I was twelve years old again, it was my mother. I turned my back on Logan so he wouldn’t see the guilt on my face. Best to make this quick. I’d do it like tearing off a Band-Aid—once it was done quickly, I could hang up.

“I failed Torts and got a credit in constitution.”

She exhaled down the line. “What about the other subjects?”

“They’re year-long.”

Logan’s hands slid around me, and he pulled me back against him, wrapping his arms around my waist and holding me tight as he trailed soft kisses across my shoulder. My mind reeled into a nothingness, my concentration solely on the feel of his lips against my skin. His touch sure was a welcome distraction, muddled thoughts and all.

“You’re an embarrassment, Olivia. Ella Parry said … no. I know this is because of that boy. You listen to me, young lady, stop wasting your time dilly-dallying around with him, and get yourself back in control of this mess before it’s too late to fix. If you don’t improve your grades, we will cut you off. There’ll be no more money to support your partying, do you hear me?”

I flinched as if I were standing in front of her with those dark eyes of hers searing my soul and making me feel two feet tall. In an effort to stop the tears coming, I clenched my teeth and said, “I’m not partying, and there is no guy distracting me. Logan—” I clamped my mouth shut before I said too much. How did she know about Logan anyway? I’d never told her who the messages where from over the break. Ella’s mum … I swear there were no secrets.

His sweet kisses stopped and he squeezed me tighter, holding me together with his strength.

“I expect better results at the end of the year.” The phone was still at my ear, but the line went dead. If it weren’t for Logan’s arms around me, I think I would have collapsed under the weight of failure.

****

The next few weeks were pure bliss. I never would have thought that saying ‘walking on cloud nine’ was actually possible. But every time I saw Logan or even thought of him there was a bigger bounce in my step, and something felt like it floated inside of me. I’d managed to avoid any sleepovers and even though I knew I couldn’t put it off forever, for now I was happy to cruise along as we were. It was hard to maintain control around him, but with the thought of Logan experiencing my sleep disorder firsthand, I managed.

We’d made it to the finals in hockey and as I shoved my shin pads in my socks and positioned them, I felt ready. This was the grand final and we’d made it, despite the team’s earlier issues, and I wasn’t surprised in the least that Evan’s Hall was the team facing us.

I tossed Logan a smile and took my position in the centre of the field. The umpire asked me, heads or tails. “Heads,” I yelled as she flipped a coin in the air. She caught it in her palm and a grin spread across her face as she called, “Heads.”

“We’ll take the first hit.”

The game moved slowly at first, neither team achieving much at all, just wearing both our sides out as the play continually changed from one direction to the other. I had our best players on the field, but no matter what we did, we couldn’t seem to pull away from them long enough to score a single goal.

When the countdown clock read 4:00 in the second half of the game, things changed in our favour. The score was 0:1 our way, and their response times seemed to be slowing. I dribbled the ball along the left wing, running as fast as I could. Both teams ran behind me, but their captain, the same girl from the now infamous ‘Orgasmic Olivia’ game, made a wide run down the field and she was almost in front of me when she yelled, “Hey Dean. I see you snagged Logan Hays. You must have something the rest of us don’t, ’cause god only knows a ton of girls have tried to tie him down.” The laugh that burst from her could only be described as a cackle. “Must be the master debate.”

I put my head down, and continued dribbling the ball, all the way out. Then I sprinted past my heckler, the goal circle in sight.

“… guess he likes to watch a girl get herself off.”

I fumbled. The ball slipped from the safety of my stick.

It’s not worth it.

Logan’s words about Ella’s bitchy retorts blazed in my mind and I swung the flat side of my hockey stick around, using the end like a hook to snag the ball back into my play. I was inside the circle and their goalie feinted from side to side, her bulky gear making her look like a rocking marshmallow. And that’s exactly what she was; something that was slow and soft and I could totally get this ball past her. With a high swing of my hockey stick, I slammed it against the hard ball, which glided across the astro-turf in a straight line. The goalie dove to the side, but she was too slow. The ball slipped past her fingers and slammed against the back of the goal.

The buzzer sounded and suddenly my teammates surrounded me, all squealing and shouting and holding their sticks in the air.

We did it.

We’d won the grand final, and boy it felt good. Adrenaline pounded through me, making my head buzz.

I caught Logan’s gaze and he held his hands above his head in a slow clap while he grinned. Good lord, I was lucky to have such an awesome guy in my life. After shaking each of my opponents’ hands, I was left with the heckler, and I’d be damned if I wasn’t going to be a good sport despite her nasty scowl. I moved toward her, my hand extended and she grasped it, giving a quick shake. She dropped it just as quickly, but I didn’t care. I ran to the sidelines, my duties over. Logan met me at the gate, and I threw my arms around his neck, relishing in the moment as he pulled me against his firm body.

“Congrats, Liv.” He nuzzled into my neck. Then he pulled back and planted a solid kiss on my lips.

My life was almost perfect.

CHAPTER NINETEEN

With the hockey season over, it was only a matter of weeks before netball started up. I wasn’t too keen about that as it had never been a sport I’d loved, but I was the team captain last year and needed to reclaim my place. That meant I only had two Saturdays free from sport, and Logan had organised something special for this one. Not that he’d tell me where we were going or what we were doing—it was a huge surprise.

We drove through town in companionable silence. With every turn he took, I tried to guess where we were headed, but Logan just tapped his fingers on the steering wheel to the beat of the music pouring out of the speakers. Clearly, he enjoyed my every incorrect attempt.

We drove all the way to the other side of town, past the Berry Best, and through the roundabout that lead out onto the highway, at which point he pulled the car to the right and headed north. Scrunching my brows, I couldn’t figure it out. There was nothing out here but the wide open plains filled with sheep farms. When we reached the second roundabout he took the exit back into town and I was completely baffled. We’d come full circle after a little scenic drive on the bypass. Logan chuckled, amused with his game.

As we pulled into his driveway I said, “What? This isn’t special. It’s just … just …”

“My place?” He grinned. “I had to make it a little fun.”

“You’re so crazy.” I rolled my eyes, and that only made him laugh harder.

Logan jumped out of the car, but I’d be damned if I was moving my butt out of here. He’d promised fun, and I liked his little brother. Hanging out with Jordan would be enjoyable, but I’d built my hopes up for an adventure like our trip to the falls, and now I felt a little miffed. He could deliver on his promise, darn it.

Logan went inside without me.
Well, that backfired
. He’d called my bluff, and must have decided I could sit in the car. Too bad I was more stubborn than him. I shuffled until I was diagonal in the seat, kicked my feet up onto the dash, crossed them at the ankles, and scooched down with my shoulder pressed against the door, smirking. It was warm enough in the sun to take a nap.

The door fell from underneath me.

I righted myself just before I toppled out and Logan laughed then grabbed my hand. Feigning annoyance, I crossed both arms over my chest and raised my chin. It was a fight to keep from smiling. But then an arm pushed under my legs, another behind my back and Logan lifted me out of the Corolla. I squealed as he spun around and kicked the car door closed. Holding a straighter face than I could manage, Logan said, “You can either come willingly or I’ll carry you.”

“This isn’t so bad.” I snuggled in, resting my head against his firm chest.

Logan didn’t move toward the front door as I’d assumed. Instead he started walking up the street with me cradled in his arms, like a bride being carried across a threshold. Just as I figured out his house wasn’t our destination, the world turned upside-down and I found myself dangling over his shoulder with his arm hooked behind my knees to anchor me in place. I squealed because holy hell, surely he was going to drop me. The ground looked so close it felt as if I might slip fair over his shoulder at any second.

“Sure you don’t want to walk, Butterfingers?”

Pinching my smile between my teeth, I said, “Nope. I’m good.”

My body started sliding down Logan’s back and I squealed again. Gosh, I was beginning to sound like a ten-year-old. My hands clamped onto his tight rear to stop my headfirst descent into the ground. I might have enjoyed the feel of his round muscles a little too much. So it was a while before I yelled, “Put me down!”

Logan laughed even harder as he did some manoeuvre that had me slipping off his shoulder from the side while his arm slid from behind my legs to my waist and he set me on my feet.

With my heart racing so fast it made me lightheaded, I asked, “So, this is your big adventure, huh?”

“Yup.” Logan put his arm around my waist and slid his hand into the back pocket of my jeans, effectively cupping my butt cheek as I did to his earlier. He gave no futher explanation, instead we fell into silence for a few minutes. “You going to miss hockey?”

“Maybe … though, I won’t have much of a chance, since netball season’s about to start.”

“I don’t get why you play; you said once before that you didn’t like it. Doesn’t make any sense to spend so much time on something that doesn’t make you feel good.”

I pulled away from him and shoved my hands in my jacket pockets. “I wouldn’t say hockey doesn’t make me feel good. I like it …” I stared at the street ahead, wondering where this walk would take us. “When I’m on the field I feel alive, and like I can be whatever I want. There are no rules about how to behave or talk, or even who to be. It’s kind of liberating.”

“Sounds like you do enjoy it.”

We walked along the street and it was so quiet it almost felt abandoned, except for the occasional passing car. Maybe Logan was right. I’d never really stopped to think past the responsibility of captaining the team and the fact that it was yet another thing that dragged on my time while I ensured people liked me. But being on the field was good, and I really did like the way fighting for my team felt.

“Yeah, maybe I do.”

We seemed to move ever upward, and it seemed that the peak was exactly where we going; to the lookout. I’d driven past it a million times but never actually stopped for a gander. It was high on a hill at the campus end of town, surrounded by houses and streets and a beautiful park that was lined with deciduous poplars. And I could see those—they looked almost bare in their soldier-like lines with more leaves around their bases than in their branches.

“I love autumn,” I said on a sigh.

Logan snagged my hand in his. “What about netball? Like it or love it?”

“Hate it.”

“Then don’t play.”

I sighed. “I have to. Captaining the teams is just as important as being involved in student politics or on the dorm social committee, and since I lost my chance at student politics, I need to double my efforts elsewhere.”

“But you hate all that too. It runs you into the ground, Liv, and makes you so darn tired and when it goes wrong … the stress tears you apart.”

Wow. I did hate it all—not always, but more and more—and I wasn’t quite sure how he knew that. Sure he’d been there for me when I most needed it with the student council thing and for that I was grateful, but he was right. When things were good and I wasn’t being shouldered out, it did keep me so busy I had no time for anything else. I needed to do it and that’s why when it went wrong, I was horrendous. But I didn’t really want to think about that. I wanted to forget it all, even if it was only for a few hours.

“It’s all I know, Logan.”

The leaves at our feet were so thick, I could wade through them, and that’s precisely what I did, running through the sea of crinkling colours like the happy child I wished I could be. When Logan shook his head, I gathered up an armful and tossed them at him.

“You didn’t,” he said, scooping up his own armful. He tossed it into the air and I dodged the raining leaves, running ahead. Out of his reach, I dragged my foot through the fallen ones like they were sand while Logan stood back watching. When I was done, there was a massive heart etched out of autumn leaves and it kind of embodied exactly how I felt. Love hearts are a happy image and childish as it was, drawing one made me feel happy. Here I was, not giving a hoot what anyone thought. All my airs and graces and pretences were stripped away, and it felt incredible.

Logan ran after me with another handful of leaves. I turned ninety degrees and made for the top of the hill. It was a steep climb, but the top was our destination anyway. My calves seared by the time I reached the lookout, and fit as I was, this was a run my muscles weren’t familiar with. I flopped on the ground, puffing for breath, and it was a full two minutes, maybe more, before Logan collapsed beside me.

“You’re insane,” he puffed.

“Only around you.”

We lay there, side by side, until we’d both caught our breaths then Logan sat up, jumped to his feet and held his hand out to me. “C’mon. We didn’t run all the way up this hill not to check out the view.”

“I don’t know …” I rolled my gaze up his body, settling on his chest which that t-shirt defined nicely “… the view from here’s pretty darn good.”