Shitake Happens: (A Shitake Mystery Series Prequel) (7 page)

For as he toiled, a green and yellow monster called John Deere did arrive upon the isle. Towed, it 'twas, upon the back of a larger but less ferocious beast. And to the vicinity of The Breezy Inn cottage it was pulled. Joe arrived upon the scene to see the monster looming behind flimsy gate. A human departed the wheelhouse of the larger beast and opened the gate to set John Deere free, moving the beast slowly down the inclined ramp. The human soon mounted the saddle upon the beast's back, causing the monster to roar to life. John Deere did, thereafter, growl and snarl in menace to the general neighborhood.

Joe landed upon the grass beside Flo, ready to do battle with the fearsome animal. At first, The Breezy Inn seemed in safety as the monster chose to eat its way over a lawn many houses away. But soon it had consumed all there and began to prowl closer and yet ever closer toward The Breezy Inn.

"Flo," Joe cried as the snarling monster made toward them. "Greater power than bird can defeat comes nigh. We must away else be ground up and die."

The terrible monster continued in relentless advance. Flo seemed frozen and no amount of squawking, pecking and flapping, could break her from fear's spell. Joe could only look on in horror as the John Deer monster made its attack.

A hideous grinding and chewing was testament to Flo's messy end.

Completely lost to all aid, she was sucked inside the monster's yawning mouth. There, John Deere's teeth munched and did make horrible work of her.

In apparent glee for its victory, the monster let out a great and high keening. And just as it seemed the triumphant wailing would ever continue, it halted. The human, yelling words Joe could nay comprehend, jumped from his saddle and ran to the front of the monster, braving its wrath. Going down upon one knee before the great beast, the human reached inside the mouth and pulled from between the teeth a body...a mangled and ruined body...That of Joe's darling Flo.

"O woe! O woeful, woeful, woeful day!" Joe cawed in lament. "Most woeful day that ever, ever any seagull did yet behold. O day, O day! O hateful day! Never was seen so black a day as this."

Joe screamed his pain to the sky. Flo. His sweet love. Gone. Gone before her time. Gone before their destiny together could be fulfilled. A grief stricken Joe swooped and swayed in the air, going ever closer, closer, closer to the sun.

Might I fly inside its fiery depths and join my Flo in the afterlife?
"From this world-wearied bag of feathers, I say: eyes, look your last!"

In the end the sun would not swallow the gull up and he did live on. But mourning his loss, the places that met his eye each day thereafter did all inspire such memories of his dead beloved as to cause soul pain. And so, despite the pleadings of his fellows, Joe resolved to banish himself forever after from the fair Isle of Tybee and head south.

"But should we tell him of its name?" queried his friend Albert to Sam.

"No," came Sam's swift reply. "It would surely grieve Joe that the very name of the place he goes to escape doth contain that of his flamingo. Instead, leave Joe to his hope."

Albert replied, "Yes, you are most right. For in that new and undiscovered place called Flo-Ri-Da there surely could be no
other
reminders of the pink beauty Joe loved and lost."

And so Joe did depart and brought the sad story to an end.

For never was there a tale of more woe, than this of Seagull Joe and his pink lawn-art Flamingo Flo.

# # #

**Thank you for reading
Shitake Happens
. If you enjoyed it, I hope you will post a review at Amazon.com. And if you would like to know more about me, please visit my websites (
http://www.patriciamason.net
and
http://www.prmason.net
) where might find out about some fun freebies.

If you enjoyed the humorous suspense of Shitake Happens, you'll love these books by Patricia Mason:

In Deep Shitake (humorous romantic suspense- Shitake Mystery Series #1)
- More Mo Tuttle. This time she just might find love...if she can stay alive.

Take one devastatingly attractive movie star. Add one outrageously sexy female private eye with a penchant for food-word obscenities. Mix in a dose of mistaken identity and a handful of Russian mobsters...And they're all in deep shitake.
http://amzn.com/B007VDZ0JA

A Very Shitake Christmas (Shitake Mystery Series #1.5) -
Coming in November 2012. Two factors combine to ruin Mo's holiday: Ross's obnoxious father, and a mad bomber out for revenge.

A Girl, A Guy and A Ghost
- Giselle has three days to find a ghost and save her job, will sexy private eye, Ry, help her or just provide a distraction that could cost her life.
http://amzn.com/B0034KC3WG

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• It Keeps Getting Shitakier
  
• When the Shitake Hits the Fan
  
• Joe and Florence:
  
• Author's Note