Shooter (Burnout) (28 page)

Chris reached for her. “Hayley, I’m not some chump off the street. I’m a Ranger. I-”

She jerked away. “He could still kill you! It doesn’t matter. If he finds me, you-”

“The man who raped you? How could he find you, Hayley?”

She hesitated and blinked up at him.

“Hayley, you’ve been on the run for five years,” Chris reminded her. “Never using I.D., only paying in cash. My guess would be he lost track of you three, maybe four years ago. Probably longer. If he didn’t find you in Dallas, he was never going to.”

“He might,” she insisted.

“How?” he argued.

Finally she had to give in. “I don’t know,” she whispered.

“You’re afraid of it, and I understand that. But it’s not rational, Hayley. He can’t find you. Not now. And even though you pull the dresser in front of your bedroom door every night, I think you know that’s true. You’re more afraid of me, Hayley, than him. But not for the same reasons.”

She frowned at him. “I- I don’t know what you mean.”

“Yes, you do. You know what I’m talking about. If he can’t find you, why do you keep running, Hayley?” He gave her a second to answer even though he knew she wouldn’t. “Baby. You’re holding on to that other life so hard your knuckles are turning white. That’s why you move around so much. Leave before you can connect with anyone, make any attachments. You want it back. And you don’t want anyone getting in your way when you finally decide it’s safe to go home.

“But it’s wearing on you. You’re not built for solitude, Hayley. Not many people are, but you’re definitely not. Spending time with me, and the boys, you need it Hayley. You’re desperate for it, whether you can admit it or not. It’s proof, honey, that you cannot go on living the way you are. It’s doing more damage to you than he ever did.”

She shook her head vehemently. “No. No, this is temporary. It’s all just temporary. Until I can go home. It’s-”

“Five years is not temporary, Hayley.
This
is your life now. Not that other one. I don’t know exactly what’s keeping you away from home, but if you’re waiting for him to be caught Hayley, he may never be. You have to learn to accept that. You either have to go home and try to live there, even if you don’t feel safe, or you can try to live here. But if you keep running, you’re going end up so lost inside your own head you may never find your way out. Is that what you want, Hayley? To wake up screaming another five years from now? Ten years? How long can you keep going not sleeping through the night? On your feet day after day, living on nothing but tips?”

She glared at him. “
As long as I have to until I can go home!
”

“Alright,” he said quietly. “Alright.” He could see this was not a war he was going to win tonight. This dream of going home was all that had kept her alive for five years and she wasn’t going to let go of it any time soon. “If it’s just temporary, Hayley, if you’re just biding your time until it’s safe to go back, then spend it with me. At least some of it. As much as you can.” When she started shaking her head again, he said, “You slept on top of me, Hayley. You slept. All night. Now I’m not saying that ever has to happen again if you don’t want it to, but I
am
saying that some part of you knows,
absolutely knows
, that you are safe with me. In the army we learn to eat when we can, sleep when we can. Just take a break, Hayley. Just rest. For as long as you can.”

Hayley was quiet for a long time and actually seemed to be considering his words. But then she said, “I can’t-” She stopped and took a deep breath. “When Jimmy kissed me? That’s the first time anyone’s touched me in five years. I don’t- I mean I can’t be what you want. There’s just no way. That woman at the picnic? I can’t ever be that.”

“If I wanted the blond, I’d have her. And if that’s the first time anyone’s kissed you, then you don’t know what you can do. I got a pretty good glimpse of it last night and you’ve definitely got fire inside you. You may have scared yourself with it last night. You’re used to letting that head of yours talk you out of anything that seems too dangerous or out of control. But I’m a patient man. I can wait.”

She made a face. “But you’re used to women who throw themselves at you. You can’t-”

“Don’t tell me what I can and can’t do, Slick. I know exactly what kind of man I am. Whether you’re in my bed or down the hall, you’re mine. And if you’re mine, I’m yours. And that’s all there is to it. There won’t be any other women. That I can promise you. I’ve been through Basic, and Ranger school, and three tours and believe me, I can go without. But I won’t be going without. You’ll be in my kitchen, in my tub, and on my couch at the very least, and that’s good enough for me.”

“Forever?” she asked, almost sarcastically.

“Forever’s a long time, Slick. I’m not offering you forever. I’m saying for right now, for as long as you can stay, I can be faithful without asking for anything more in return than what you’re already giving me. But you’re gonna have to stop kissing Easy. That’s a rule.”

She let out a surprised laugh. “I did not kiss Easy! He kissed
me!
”

“Yeah, but you liked it. Only reason I’m willing to let it go is because you liked kissing me more. A whole lot more.”

“How do you know?” she asked, but even in the dark he could swear he could see her blush.

He scoffed. “You read romance novels, Slick. Pretty sure that means all the parts are in good working order. And Easy didn’t get tongue like I did.”

“I did
not
-!”

“I was there, Slick, remember? Your tongue is about as sassy in
my
mouth as it is in yours. And I’m not gonna ask, but you offer me a handjob again, I won’t be turning it down.”

She considered this. “And if that’s all I can ever do?”

“Well, then at least it’ll be
your
hand and not mine, and I can actually look at you while you do it instead of just jerking off by myself in the shower and picturing you, like I’ve been doing for a while.”

Her mouth dropped open. “You don’t.”

“I do,” he replied. “A rather embarrassing amount considering I’m well out of my teenage years.” He grinned. “There’s a thought that maybe should’ve stayed in my head, but there you go. I want you, Hayley. I want whatever you’ll give me.”

She looked up at him and her bottom lip quivered. “You…want me?”

“Yes. Absolutely.”

“Not the blond?”

He put his head back and looked up at the sky. “Jesus, you fuck up one time….You want to know why she approached you, Slick? You really want to know? Because she’s threatened by you. And she should be. You’re younger, which is a big deal to her; prettier, which is a big deal to
me
, and it probably didn’t help that while I was
fucking her
, I accidentally called her Hayley.”

She gasped and covered her mouth with her hand. “You did not.”

“I did. And for a while there I had the claw marks on my back to prove it.”

“Oh, my God.” Hayley giggled in spite of herself. Then she sobered quickly. “Chris, you know, we might never-”

“Cook for me, give me some of that sassy tongue, and I’m really hoping for the occasional handjob, since you already offered once. Anything else happens if it happens.”

Hayley bit her lower lip until it nearly bled and then finally, slowly, nodded.

Chris’s heart squeezed. “Yeah?”

“Okay.”

He took her in his arms. “You won’t regret this. I’ll make certain of it.”

Chapter 21

The next morning Hayley woke up in her own bed, for the last time. Chris had brought them back home after Midnight, but she hadn’t yet felt comfortable enough to just head to his place rather than her own. She’d needed time to think about a few things and she’d been too tired to do that last night.

She slowly walked through the house, gathering her things, choosing to focus instead on the task at hand rather than any quandaries that were going to arise later. After she packed up the last of her clothes in her duffel bag, she made the bed with fresh, clean sheets and snagged Pepper off the couch.

In Chris’ house, Pepper headed off to the kitchen, already seemingly at home. And why not? She already spent at least half her time here. So did Hayley. She walked down the hall, frowning with every step. The door to the spare bedroom sat open. It’s clean yet sparse room was familiar to her. She’d spend a few nights here, in that bed, when she’d had a few too many beers on Poker Night. She slung the bag onto the bed.

Some small part of her, though, beckoned her to look around a little more. She hesitated in the open doorway to Chris’ bedroom. He’d already given her free reign to look around when she’d agree to cook for him, but she’d never really taken him up on the offer. She’d never been in Chris’ room aside from the night he’d been incapacitated. In the light of day it was perfectly....well, perfect. Crisp white walls, hospital corners on the bed, no clothes strewn about. It was as orderly as the rest of the house.

There was one thing out of place, though. Stepping into the room for a better look she realized that one of the dresser drawers was half open. Edging closer she peered at it. It appeared to be empty. She took hold of the brass handle and tugged. It was, indeed, sitting empty. Empty and open.

After staring at it for a while, she suddenly stepped toward the closet and opened the doors. She discovered a row of neat and orderly (of course) hung shirts, on the left side of the closet. The right side was bare. Chris had made it clear that the choice of bedrooms was hers, but he’d gone out of his way to make his preference known, if she cared to look.

Pepper bounded it and leapt onto the bed. She settled into a ball in the center of the bedspread. Hayley smirked at her. “Guess we know what your vote is,” she said to the kitten.

***********************

Chris was actually a little apprehensive when he pulled into the driveway at a little after five. Hayley’s little blue house was shut up tight, no windows open liked she liked to do in the cooler evenings. He picked up on the smells coming from his kitchen before he actually saw her. She was leaning against the island, paperback in hand. A pot on the stove proved to be source of what was already making his stomach growl.

“Gonna take a shower,” he announced. She merely nodded in reply. He couldn’t tell if she was feeling the same way he was. So far, there was nothing different about this evening than most other evenings. He caught himself saying a silent prayer as he headed to the bedroom. He found the cat first, who attacked him when he came into the room. He scooped her up and nuzzled her. With his free hand, he snagged the handle on the third drawer down and tugged. Something like a mixture of relief and joy flooded him as he saw neatly folded stacks of jeans, shorts, and various female underthings. He smirked at the female underthings, but slid the drawer shut.

“Never lived with a woman,” he confided to the deaf cotton ball, who began to purr. “Now I’ve got two of ‘em.”

Dinner was gumbo, hot and spicy, and Chris watched Hayley diligently scrubbing the bowls at the kitchen sink when they were done. There was no pointing out to her that she was three feet away from a dishwashing machine. She’d scrubbed every utensil at least twice and picked up a fork, obviously planning on washing the shine off it.

“Hayley,” he finally said, shattering the silence.

Hayley, who knew damn well that Chris was in the kitchen, fumbled the fork anyway after being startled, which bounced on the floor. She snatched it up and turned the water back on to wash it
again
. Chris finally decided an intervention was necessary. He stepped over and turned off the hot water. He took the fork from her and put it on the counter.