Shooting for the Stars (21 page)

Little kids are allowed to pretend anything. When you grew up, the rules changed.

Stella straightened up, removing her feet from his. She reached over the side, fishing for her towel. “Well, my nose is cold, but the rest of me is going to pickle in here,” Stella declared. “I’d better call it a night.”

Bear felt a stab of disappointment that she was ending this quiet little moment together. Not that he’d say so. “That’s a bold move. You’d better go first. If you freeze into an icicle before you make it to the door, I’ll yell for help.” He sank lower into the water. In truth, he needed Stella to get out first, because that made it easier to hide the effect sitting naked in a tub with her had on his body.

Stella rose to her feet, the water sluicing down her curves, shining on her skin in the moonlight. “It will be
hours
until I’m cold. I think I understand why Norwegians like to plunge from a hot bath into the Baltic.”

“You go ahead. I’ll watch from the fjord.”

Stella chuckled. She climbed out and began to towel off. “I wonder if the vending machine works. I feel a Snickers craving coming on.” She wrapped a robe around her body and stepped into her shoes.

“Consider the Oreos. Mine didn’t fall down, so you might get two.”

“Some kid probably got to them already.” She gave him a wave. “Good night!”

When the door shut behind her, he climbed out. The cold blast of air against his skin quickly took care of his boner. Bear wrapped himself in a couple of towels and calculated the distance to his room. It wasn’t far at all. Making a run for it would be so much easier than dragging cold clothes over damp skin.
 

He shuffled to his room with his clothes under one arm and holding his towel closed with the other. HIs hotel key card he held in his teeth. When he reached the door to his room, he spent a moment trying to figure out how to unlock it without either dropping trow or setting his clothing onto the hotel’s well-trodden hallway carpeting.

“Shorthanded, sailor?” a voice asked behind him.

Bear turned automatically toward the warmth in her voice and was walloped all over again by Stella’s sparkling eyes. First she slipped two snack-sized packages of Oreos on top of the pile of clothing under his arm. Then she slipped the hotel key from his teeth and swiped it through the device on the door jam.
 

“Thank you,” he said, feeling inadequate.

Instead of answering, Stella gave him a funny little smile. Then she rose to her tiptoes and pressed a very soft kiss to his lips.

Not just a quick peck, either. She took her time, melding her lips to his, slowly kissing him for several beats of his heart. There was something mournful about it. But the kiss stole his breath all the same. He heard her sigh as she finally retreated. “Goodnight,” Stella breathed, turning away.

Still stunned, he watched her disappear around the corner, standing there with his hands full like an idiot. Wanting more. Barely holding it together. “Goodnight,” he finally remembered to say.

But she was gone. And the only reply was silence.

Twenty

S
TELLA
WAS
PROUD
OF
herself. She made it all the way into her hotel room — with the door closed — before she let herself cry. The ache in her heart erupted then, even as she got ready for bed. With tears dripping off her face, Stella changed into a roomy Aspen T-shirt and brushed her teeth.

Kissing Bear goodnight had been stupid. But she’d been trying to take just one more hit off her addiction before letting him go.

Tonight on the phone, Anya had told her to sort it out. To come to terms with a lifetime of unrequited love.

Her friend was right, too. She had to shut off that trickle of hope that kept her awake at night. For years, that steady drip of yearning had prevented her from finding someone else to love.

Habits were very hard to break, though. Tonight, when Bear had walked through that patio door, Stella’s heart had leapt. Her chest had begun to flutter just because he’d shown his face. That old saw about hope springing eternal? It was one hundred percent true. Every time they came face to face, Stella couldn’t stop her foolish heart from wondering if today would be the day he’d kiss her again. If he’d love her as much as she loved him.

Instead? He’d sat across the tub looking uncomfortable.

Enough is enough
, Stella had finally decided. But she didn’t have a clue how to stop reacting to him. If there was a course called Moving On 101, she’d take it. If there was a YouTube video, she’d watch it. If there was a pill for getting over Bear, she’d happily swallow it.

Stella climbed into bed, turned off the light and wiped her eyes one more time. It didn’t help that her mind played tricks on her. When she looked into Bear’s eyes, she sometimes swore she saw heat in them. But that was just a flicker, sparked by one really amazing night that they’d shared.

“A flicker isn’t enough,” Stella whispered into the darkness. She’d just have to learn to accept it.

Calmer now, she lay in bed thinking of Alaska. A personal pep talk was very much in order.
Alaskan footage, girl. It’s all about the big mountain footage
. The sponsors she hoped to court cared about exposure. Bear’s film could help a lot, especially if her shots were featured prominently. If the Alaska scenes went well, she had no doubt that he’d give her good screen time.

If she couldn’t have the man, she could still have the career. It was something.
 

She’d been waiting years to ride the Chugach. And now it would finally happen. The mountains were waiting for her, even if Bear was not. She had a ridge all picked out, too. She’d been scoping it out on Google Earth every time she got the chance.

There came a light knock on her door.

In the dark, she opened her eyes. “Yeah?”

Bear cleared his throat. “Stella, it’s me. If you’re still up, can I come in?”

If Stella opened that door, Bear would want to know why her eyes were red and swollen. But he wouldn’t be knocking this late unless it was important.

Here we go again
. Her foolish heart couldn’t help but wonder what Bear had to say to her at this hour.
Let’s fly to Vegas and get married?
Stella snorted as she climbed out of bed. He probably needed more change for the vending machine.

She opened the door. When the latch gave, she retreated into the dark room, hoping that Bear would not get a chance to see her face.

“Sorry to wake you,” he said immediately, closing the door behind himself.

“S’okay,” Stella said. “I was just drifting off. What’s the matter?”

Bear made an irritated noise. “Duku is fucking some guy in our bathroom.”

That wasn’t even on the menu of things she’d imagined he might say. “Oh. Sorry. So… you need to hang out here?”

“Only if it’s okay. I went to the desk to try to get another room. I mean… Hank just checked out of one, right? So that he could go stay at that fancy place with Callie. But they’re full up.”

“Oh.”

“But you’re sleeping. So I’ll go hang out at the bar, give them an hour…”

“No,” she said quickly. “Just sleep here.”

He squinted as his eyes tried to become accustomed to the dark. “Are you sure?” He didn’t say it, but she knew what he was thinking. There was only one bed.

“It’s fine.” She could do this. She could spend a few hours in a room with him, without deceiving herself.

The bed was king-sized, anyway. There was plenty of room for Stella and Bear, plus the giant helping of awkwardness which lay between them. Stella walked around the bed to the far edge and climbed in, curling up on her side.

There was a pause while Bear tried to figure out what to do. But then she heard him kick off his shoes and sit down. The silence stretched out between them, until Bear gave a big yawn.

“Duku didn’t leave a bandanna on the door, did he?” Stella asked. “I didn’t see one.”

Bear chuckled in the dark. “Nope. I was half dressed by the time I figured out that he wasn’t alone in that shower. But then it got loud enough that I had to sing Jingle Bells while I finished getting dressed. I’ll text him in an hour. Maybe the coast will be clear.”

“Just sleep,” Stella whispered. “We had a long day.”

He didn’t answer her. But some time later, she heard him get up and drop his jeans on the floor. Then the covers were pulled back, and he climbed in.

Stella listened to him settling in. Eventually, his breathing lengthened into sleep. She was never going to have this — the peaceful solace of a mate sleeping beside her in the dark. Her lifestyle was exciting, but it lacked this simple comfort.

Stella rolled over, moving just a little closer to his sleeping form. He’d always been irresistible to her, like a magnetic force. She would do anything to stop feeling the pull. Stella yearned to scoot backwards across the mattress and curl into his warmth. But she couldn’t do that.

A fresh set of tears stung her eyes, and so she pressed her fingertips into the corners. It was late, and she was tired. This sadness would pass. It would have to.

Twenty-One

B
EAR
DID
NOT
WAKE
up until snowy light filtered in through the drapes of Stella’s hotel room. He hadn’t set an alarm, so there was a possibility he was running late to the meeting he’d planned.

Even so, he did not get up right away. Because someone warm and soft was curled against his back. Hey lay there for a few minutes, appreciating the peace of Stella’s sleeping form. Her breathing was slow and deep, and it seemed a crime to disturb her.

He regretted his laziness a minute later, though, when he heard a tap on the door. “Stella! You up?” Duku’s voice called.

Shit.

Bear slid out of bed and grabbed his jeans off the floor. He hopped into them as if the building were on fire.

“Stella?” Duku called. “Have you seen Bear?”

“Hrmmmp,” she said at first, rolling onto her back. Then her eyes snapped open and flew to Bear’s. “Oh shit,” she mouthed, a sparkle of humor lighting her face.

Bear shoved his feet into his unlaced boots went to the door, which he jerked open. “I’m right here,” he said, his voice rough. “No thanks to your exploits.”

Duku laughed. “Your meeting is starting in ten, I thought?”

“Yeah,” Bear ran a hand through messy hair. “I can take a quick shower. Stella, you’ll meet me in the conference room, right?”

“Yes.”

Bear pulled the door closed, then turned toward his own hotel room.

He didn’t make it but two steps, though, before Hank came wheeling around the corner. “You
slept
with my
sister?
”

Still half asleep, Bear stopped in his tracks. “No! Well. Yes to the
sleeping
…”

Hank laughed up at him. “Just having a little fun with you. Duku told me that he scared you away last night. Seriously, you’re really rocking the I-slept-in-my-clothes look today.”

Bear just shook his head, stumbling toward his own hotel room, while Hank laughed after him.

Two minutes of hot water improved him. Armed with maps and hand-outs, he hurried to the lobby, where Duku was filling a large thermos at the free coffee cart. “Dude. If you drain that thing, you’ll only end up splitting it with me.”

“Tough crowd here for a Wednesday morning,” Duku replied, stepping out of his way. “Relax. They brought in this full urn while I was standing here.”

“You’re awfully cheerful this morning.” Bear grabbed a paper cup and waited for Duku to step aside.

“I got laid last night. You should try it some time.”

“You’re not my type,” Bear said, earning a snort from Duku.

Bear filled a cup and high-tailed it into the little conference room off the lobby he’d reserved for their strategy session. Hank was waiting with a camera on a tripod, so that they could record the meeting for potential use as “behind the scenes” footage.

Stella ran in two minutes later, carrying a cup identical to Bear’s. “Sorry,” she said.

“It’s okay.” Bear met her gaze and was startled by what he found there. Her eyes were red and puffy. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” she said stiffly.

He regarded her for a moment, wondering whether to press the issue. When she lifted her chin as if to stave off more inquiry, he passed her an itinerary. Tomorrow they were flying into Anchorage. From there, they’d drive three hours into the Chugach mountains.

“Morning, Stell-Bell,” her brother said, rolling up beside her. “What’s wrong with your face?”

Stella punched him in the shoulder. “I’m too polite to ask the same of you. Though I’ve always wondered.” She looked around. “Where’s Callie?”

“She dropped me off, and now she’s taking a private ski lesson. I’ll see her tonight.”

“She didn’t want to listen to us argue for an hour?” Duku asked, gulping from the world’s largest coffee. “I call shotgun in Alaska.”

“What?” Hank spat. “You can’t call shotgun until the vehicle is in sight. That’s the first rule of shotgun.”

“Look, kids.” Bear unrolled a map on the surface of the table. “As entertaining as you imagine you are, we have work to do.”

“Yes, master,” Duku grunted.

At least someone was down with the program. Stella leaned over the maps, studying the Chugach mountain range. “Devil’s Spine,” she said, laying her finger on the marker for one of the higher ridges in the range. “Nobody has ever ridden it before. I want to make a first descent right here.”

There was a silence at the table while everyone else leaned in to take a peek at Stella’s choice.

Bear’s blood pressure went up three points when he saw the spot she’d chosen. “Stella, there’s a
reason
that ridge hasn’t had its cherry popped. Those crevasses on either side are doozies.”

“I see that,” Stella argued. “But the slope itself isn’t too narrow. And if you put the camera down here somewhere,” — she pointed to a spot beyond the crevasse — “it will look a lot more dangerous than it is.”

“Pretty sneaky, sis,” Hank offered.

“I know, right?”

Bear grunted. She was not going to ride that ridge. Not on his watch. “That slope is an unnecessary risk. Pick something else.”