Shooting Stars 03 Rose (8 page)

Mommy was so eager to go home and start our packing, she was downstairs and ready to leave as soon as possible. Charlotte offered to hire people to help, but Mommy explained that we had so little of real value to bring with us, it wasn't necessary.

"We'll donate our pathetic furniture to the Salvation Army," she told Charlotte. "Not a piece of it would belong here anyway."

Pathetic? I thought. Once it was special to us; once we were happy about the house we had rented and the furnishing we were able to manage. Now, that was all to be discarded like so many of our recent memories. I knew if Mommy could, she would wipe her mind clear like some magic slate. She would be like Daddy was and think. Forget the past.
Conrentrate only on the here and now. How sad it was that we had very little to cling to, to bring with us.

Even our photo albums, full of pictures from so many different places, so many homes, looked more like a travelogue than a family history.

"I'm happy about that," Charlotte told Mammy and then looked at me as well to add, "You're both starting a new life. Rose. Let everything be fresh. We're going to take you shopping for new clothes, too, and new shoes to match. Don't even bring an old toothbrush. I have new ones in your bathroom cabinets."

Mommy laughed and the two of them walked out arm in arm as if they were already old, dear friends.

"I'll say good-bye to Evan," I shouted after them.
"Oh, yes, do that, and be sure to tell him you'll be back tomorrow."
"Tomorrow, but that's so quick, Mommy. I have school and I have. . ."
"Charlotte has arranged it all. Rose. You're enrolled in the school here already, remember? The administration is getting your transcripts in the morning."
"How did..." I didn't finish the question. Mammy had already turned away. I finished it in my thoughts, however. How did she know we would accept and come here for sure?
It put a cold but electric feeling through my veins and made my heart thump for a few moments. Were we so desperate and forlorn that anyone could come along and hold our destinies in the wind like kites and watch us be blown from one place to another? I could feel it. Whatever little control we had of ourselves was drifting away.
Daddy had done a great deal more than he had ever dreamed when he had his love affair with Angelica and a child with her, I thought.
Evan's door was open this time, but he was back where I had found him previously, at his computer.
"Hi," I said. He wasn't wearing earphones. "I guess it's happening. We're actually moving in tomorrow," I said. He kept working as if he hadn't heard me. "Did you hear what I said, Evan?"
"Yes, but I knew that was going to happen," he replied, still working the keyboard and looking at the monitor.
"How did..."
"Wait. There," he said and turned. I heard the printer going. "It' s coming out." He nodded at the printer, which was on the table to his right. I walked in and waited by it, watching as the picture began emerging. I felt the heat building in my neck and face as it was forming. Finally, it was done, and I picked it up.
It was a picture of Daddy, me, Evan. Mommy, and his mother Angelica, all together.
"How did you do this?"
"It's not hard," he said. "I had pictures of everyone and scanned them in together to make that. There it is, the big happy family."
It gave me the chills.
"Where did you get this picture of Daddy?"
"Aunt Charlotte found it in my mother's things. I got your picture and your mother's from the file Aunt Charlotte's detective made.
"I was going to put Aunt Charlotte in there, too, sort of in the background like some puppeteer or something. What do you think? Should I?"
I stared at him. He smiled.
"Come here, watch this," he said, and began working again. He brought up a picture of Charlotte, cut off her head and pasted on the body of a small gorilla. I laughed and then he put her head on the body of a naked, buxom woman.
"Evan!"
"It's magic. I can turn anyone into anything. Look what I did for you," he said and clicked something that was already completed.
It came up on the screen. He had taken the photo of Sheila Stone from the newspaper story of the Miss Lewisville Foundry Beauty Contest and substituted me with the crown on my head.
"See how easy it is to right the wrongs?"
I laughed, and he clicked again and brought up a picture of himself riding a horse, and then one with him running in an Olympic race.
"I wish that was real. Evan," I said softly.
He smiled at me.
"It is real. This is make-believe," he said, indicating his wheelchair. Daddy would agree, I thought. Daddy would love this.
"You've got your own magic box," I said softly, gazing at his computer monitor.
"Exactly," he said, smiling, and I wondered if I really would help him or harm him by doing what Charlotte had hoped I would do: bring him out of this room and away from his own world.

Mommy attacked our home with a vengeance. It was as if she was getting back at all the bad luck and hard times she had ever suffered after marrying Daddy. Anything that in the slightest way provided a painful or unpleasant memory was eagerly dropped into the garbage cans, no matter what its monetary value. She did the same with things I had thought were important reminders of her relationship with Daddy.

I was really surprised at how she sifted through her wardrobe, selecting so many dresses, blouses, pants, and even shoes to give away. None of it was worn-out or faded. When I questioned her, she turned to me and said. "You heard Charlotte. What point would there be in bringing these clothes to that house? They're so out of style, she wouldn't want me to wear them anyway. And besides." she added like a little girl just before Christmas. "she's buying me a whole new wardrobe. You heard her."

"No, no. Rose, she wants us there too much and she doesn't want us to be unhappy and leave. No. For the first time, what little old me wants is going to be important."

She then advised me to do the same thing: scrutinize my clothing and pack in boxes whatever was too old or out of style.

"You'll give it away along with all my stuff." she told me, but
I
didn't listen.
Something inside told me to beware of being too beholden to Charlotte Alden Curtis. Maybe it was the manner in which Evan spoke of her and showed what he really thought of her. His sarcastic remarks about her seemed sharper to me than they were about anyone or anything else, and when he looked at her, he always seemed to narrow his eyes with suspicion and distrust. I realized of course that it could just be his way. He had first looked at me in a similar fashion. Still. I wasn't as optimistic about the move as Mammy was. In the back of my mind, I saw it as just another pit stop on the way to some other destination Fate had already determined for us.
While I was packing, Barry called, and it occurred to me how strange and curious my sudden departure from our school would seem to all the other students. Paula would surely use it as confirmation of her theories and justification for her rumors.
But what difference does all that make to me now anyway?
I thought.
I'll be gone from here forever.
Barry was stunned at the suddenness of our moving. I explained how it was an opportunity for us that we couldn't afford to pass up and how it provided a solution to our financial dilemma. Mammy and I had concocted a cover story for our instant move, a story she was using with the landlord as well. According to Mommy, Mrs. Curtis was an old friend of my daddy's family and needed someone to help her with the care of her invalid nephew since the unfortunate death of his mother. It was a fiction based on some truth, which made Mommy more
comfortable about our lies.
"Oh, sure," Barry said. "I can understand all that. Actually, you're not that far away anyhow, Can I come out to take you to dinner Saturday?"
"I'd like that." I said and promised to call and give him my own phone number as soon as it had been established.
I was very happy that he wouldn't give up on me so easily. We talked a little longer. He asked questions about Evan and Charlotte, but I was able to simply say I didn't know enough about it all yet. It bothered me to have to throw up a wall of deceit between us. I was more comfortable and at ease with Barry than I had been with any other boy and I liked him very much.
Daddy's exploits had shown me what deception could do to a relationship. It made every word uttered and every kiss given seem like just so much smoke. If someone didn't know himself where his heart belonged, how could you ever trust his promises or his claims of love? How similar had Daddy's words of love with Angelica been to the words of love he pressed with his lips into Mommy's ear? Did all men practice one set of romantic and cherished utterances on every woman they met and wanted? Without trust there could be no love. I decided, and understood why Evan had so dark a vision for himself. He surely believed he would be without love his whole life.
Could I change that? Did I want even to try? Was I the right person for the task anyway? At the moment, still recovering from what Daddy had done to us. I was one of those crippled people I had described to Evan. How could I convince him to open his heart to anyone? How could I promise him rainbows? I was still under the dark clouds myself,
It was very difficult falling asleep for the last time in this house. Butterflies circled themselves in my stomach every time I thought about what we were committing ourselves to do. To me it looked like Charlotte Alden Curtis was using us, as if we were some sort of Band-Aid to cover the rips and tears in the fabric of her own tattered family life. It was surely like asking the blind to lead the blind, I thought. Tommy wasn't really strong enough to be anyone's crutch. She had trouble standing on her own two feet.
When I did finally fall asleep. I tossed and turned so much, I found the blanket wrapped so tightly around my legs in the morning it was as if I was trying to tie myself down to keep myself from rising and going through with the move.
Mammy was up at the blink of sunlight through the veil of clouds that were daubed over the pale blue morning sky. I heard her bustling about, making final checks of drawers and closets and then marching up and down the hallway and stairs, deliberately making more noise than usual so I would get up and join her. Finally, she called to me.
"Don't forget Charlotte is sending the car at ten. Rose. We want to be ready!"

"It's not smelly, Mommy, and
I
don't expect we'll have to dress up every day, all day, just because it's a mansion."

"Well. I've decided to do something about myself." Mommy explained as she poured her coffee and sat at the table. "I'm going to get rid of this haggard, old-lady look, do what Charlotte suggested and get an up-to-date hairstyle, take more care with my makeup, and dress nicely all the time. I want to look like I belong in that house.

"She's really not any more attractive than I am, is she?"
"No, she's not. Mommy."
"But she looks like she is because of the way she dresses and how she takes care of herself. Your father had me thinking those things didn't matter much. He was happy keeping me locked up in this house. That's why he was never very enthusiastic about any jobs I had.
"Now," she added, her lips tightening, "we know why."
Despite all Daddy had done. I couldn't get myself to harden my heart
against him. He was dead and gone, but his smile lingered on my eyes and his laughter still echoed in my ears. He must have loved us. He must have, I told myself.
Charlotte's chauffeur Ames helped us load the car. Mammy had arranged for the landlord to take possession of most of the good furniture and even the kitchenware in lieu of our rental obligations. We were really leaving the house with as little as possible, which was just what Mammy, and apparently Charlotte Alden Curtis, wanted. I had the most and Mommy didn't stop complaining about it.
When we arrived at the Curtis mansion, Ames and Nancy Sue brought in most of our things and put away what belonged in each of our rooms. Nancy Sue began to hang up Mammy's clothes first and then came in to do mine. Mammy was so excited and pleased about that.
'"I never had a maid, even when I lived with my parents," she told me in a loud whisper. "Imagine having someone care for your clothes and clean your bathroom, making sure you have all that you require. I can get used to this fast. I surely can," she declared.
She did look like a little girl who had been brought to a toy store and told she could have whatever she wanted,
"I made your hair appointment," I heard Charlotte tell her in the hallway soon afterward. "Two o'clock."
"Today!" Mammy exclaimed.
"Why wait?" Charlotte replied, and Mommy squealed with delight.
I came out just as Charlotte was telling her where they were going to go to lunch first.
"I think you should wear my Donna Karan suit. Come try it on," she urged.
Mommy flashed a bright smile at me and raised her eyebrows. "Are you settling in nicely?" Charlotte asked me.
"Yes," I said.
"Whatever you need, just tell Nancy Sue. Tomorrow morning. Ames will drive you to school. Everything is all set there. It will be like you've always attended."
"I doubt that." I said. "I've been a new student in enough schools to tell you it's never easy."
"This time it will be," Charlotte assured me. "I'm a rather big contributor to the fund."
Fund? What fund?
I wondered.
"Isn't that wonderful?" Mommy pressed on.
"We'll see," I said cautiously.
"Relax, enjoy the house today. and get to know Evan better," Charlotte said. "At the moment his tutor is with him, but she leaves in less than an hour. Oh, your phone is already connected."
"Isn't that wonderful?" Mommy asked me. I had to admit, it did overwhelm me.
"Come along. Monica. We've got a lot to do," Charlotte insisted before I could utter another word.
"I'm right behind you," Mommy cried, and the two of them went off.
I stood there for a moment, listening to them giggling like teenage girls. Was I wrong in being so hesitant and doubtful? A part of me was happy for the wav in which Charlotte Alden Curtis had wiped the gray stains of depression off Mammy's eves and replaced them with a childlike glee, but a part of in still remained very nervous. I was like someone waiting for that famous second shoe to drop. I didn't know where or how it would drop, but it would. I was sure.
Maybe I was just envious, just wishing I could be like that, too.
I decided I would take Charlotte's advice and relax and enjoy the house. I took more time in the library, impressed with all the books, the leatherbound editions of the classics and the collections of old magazines. The family room had a wide-screen television set and a state-of-the-art sound system, and a beautiful dark hickory-wood pool table.
In the kitchen Nancy Sue was preparing lunch for me and for Evan.
Instead of asking me what I liked, she was going to set out a variety of luncheon meats, breads, and cheeses. It seemed like wasted effort and even wasted food, but when I commented about it, she told me it was what Mrs. Curtis ordered. From the tone of Nancy Sue's voice. I understood that when Charlotte spoke, it was gospel.
The pale blue sky had become more vibrantly blue with every passing hour, and the thin veil of clouds had drifted west. We were having another one of those unusually warm days for this time of the year. I strolled along the same path I had followed with Evan the day before until, this time. I reached an oak tree. I was drawn to the trunk when I spotted what looked like carving. It turned out to be Evan's initials and what I guessed were his mother's initials. I really hadn't thought much about his relationship with his mother and how deeply he must have suffered her loss. He had said so little about her yesterday. Were they close? How did she treat him? What had she told him about Daddy? I probably had as many questions for him as he had for me.
When I turned to start back to the house, I saw him out on the patio watching me.
"I've got to get fresh air as soon as my tutor leaves." he explained when I approached. "I actually tried spraying some of my mother's old perfume around the room before she comes, but it doesn't seem powerful enough to overcome the stink."
I laughed.
"Why don't you just tell her?"
"So she goes complaining about me to my aunt Charlotte? No thanks. I'm tired of hearing how ungrateful I can be. I see you were looking at my tree. It was planted just about the time I was born."
"Then those are definitely your initials?"
"And my mother's. She used to bring me out there for a picnic. She'd set out a blanket and play the radio or her CDs and we'd look at the clouds and describe what they suggested to us. Often, we both fell asleep. Aunt Charlotte said we brought ants back into the house in our clothing or in the blanket."
"What would your mother say to that?"
"Nothing really. She had a way of just looking at her and smiling a smile that said, 'Don't be silly. Charlotte.' It was enough to shut her up."
"I imagine you miss her a great deal."
He stared at me a moment, his eyes glassing over.
"As much as you miss our daddy, if not more," he finally said. "Did you bring the magic box?'
"Yes,'" I replied, smiling.
"Good. Put this in it for me," he said and held out his hand with a slip of paper between his thumb and forefinger. I took it.
"What is it?'
"A disappointment," he replied.
"Can I look?"
"You probably would anyway."
"I would not. It's your personal disappointment. I'm not the sort of person who..."
"Okay, okay. Look already and spare me the speeches." I unfolded it and read the word. Arlene. "Arlene? That's your disappointment?" He shrugged.
"She was my cyber girlfriend until late yesterday, when she decided to break up and go into a private chat room with someone else."
I shook my head, a confused smile on my face.
"It's how I go out on a date," he explained. "We talk to each other in a private chat room. She and I got along really well and had some good times. I guess I wasn't sexy enough."
"Sexy enough? How can you be sexy on the computer?"
He smiled.
"You'll see. One of these days."
"Lunch," Nancy Sue announced from the doorway.
"Good. Now that
I
drove Mrs. Skulnik out of my nose. I'm hungry," he said and started to wheel himself into the house.
I
hurried to catch up, wondering what he
^,
was talking about when he talked about cyber dates.