Shut Up and Kiss Me (26 page)

“How…how old were you when your parents died?”

See? He knew he’d hate it. He fought the desire to quash this line of questioning and found himself answering. “Ten.”

“And did you come live with Redfoot right afterward?”

“No. I floated from foster home to foster home for about a year and a half.”

She bit down on her lip and placed her hand on his chest. “That must have been terrible.”

It had been. “I did okay.”

Sky realized this might be the best time to set the record straight about his relationship barriers. Maybe she’d understand why he couldn’t offer more. But then his foster brother’s words played in his head like an old song.
Whatever you do, Sky, if you care about this Shala woman, don’t let her walk away. You’ll regret it.

He shook his head and said, “You know, the past—mine and probably yours—it can make things hard.”

“Hard?”

“Relationships and things,” he babbled, knowing he was making a mess of this.

“I know,” she said. She reached out and touched his chin. “I’m scared.”

A weight suddenly lifted off his chest, and relief spilled into him. “Me, too! But I figure we can live for the day, enjoy it. Make the most of it. Right?”

She nodded. “I have to go back home sooner or later.”

The weight crashed right back down. “When it’s safe you can leave. Not until then.”

“But whoever was after me or the camera hasn’t tried anything for a couple of days. I’ve seen Lucas and you both looking for him, and he obviously isn’t there. Maybe he’s given up.”

Sky took her chin between his fingers. “Are you nuts? This is the same guy who we think killed someone yesterday!”

She gazed up at him. “I know, but…Lucas and I were talking earlier, and it’s like Phillip said. It appears Charlie
hired someone to do all this. Now that Charlie is gone, this guy doesn’t really have a reason to come after me. And Lucas thinks…”

He was going to have to tell Lucas to keep his friggin’ thoughts to himself. “I’ve considered that, Shala, and yes, I admit that from what we know it appears as if this is what went down, but there’s still a couple of things that don’t make sense. Charlie lives on a fixed income. I just can’t see him using what little money he had to hire someone to do his dirty work. We’ve looked over his bank account. No money was withdrawn. And everything that’s happened still points to this guy wanting the camera.” When Shala dropped back against his chest, he ran his hand over her naked back. “I know this is hard, Shala, but give me some time to figure it out before you go putting yourself back in danger. Please.”

She rose up on her elbow, smiling. “Wow, you’re not threatening to arrest me this time.”

“No. But I’d probably follow you if you left town.”

She shook her head. “You have a job.”

“I know. That’s why it would be hard.” He touched her face. “Just a little more time.”

She sighed. “Okay, but I need to start working while I’m here.”

“Working?”

“Yeah, talking to the tribal council, meeting with Maria about starting an art program, talking to the mayor about the changes he’ll need to make. If I’m here, I need to work. I can only play so many games of Scrabble before I lose my mind.”

Sky laughed. “I’ll talk to Johnson and we’ll work things out.” For the first time that day, breathing came easier.

Shala looked down at her legs. “I don’t think I’ve ever had sex with just my shoes on.”

“I’ll have to get you a pair of leather boots,” he said.

When they were done laughing, Shala sighed again.
She ran her hand down his chest and said, “Don’t you think we should probably get going?”

“Going? I thought we’d give the chair a whirl.”

She slapped him playfully. “Come on.”

As Sky dressed, he watched her put on her clothes, and that chair started looking better and better.
Whatever you do, Sky, if you care about this Shala woman, don’t let her walk away. You’ll regret it.

“Hey.” He zipped up his jeans and then snagged her shirt from the floor. “When you do leave”—God, that was hard to say—“how often will you have to come back?”

She shrugged and stepped into her jean skirt. “It depends on how many press trips the Chamber can afford. I bring other writers with me, and Precious has to pick up the tab. Some of my clients can afford trips every few months, some every six months.”

Every few months?
That wasn’t nearly enough. Would she come down more often if he asked? Considering he was on call 24/7, his leaving for a whole weekend would be hard. But she’d come if what they had was worth coming down for. Was he giving her what she needed right now, making it worth her while? Hell, how could he know for sure? Hadn’t he admitted to himself that she was different from everyone he’d ever dated? More innocent, sweeter…He looked around his office. Had the whole sex-on-the-desk thing been too much? Remembering her hesitation in the beginning, a mess of emotions boiled to the surface. Was he already screwing things up?

“What?” he asked when she held out her hand.

“You have my shirt.”

And I’m afraid you’ve got my heart.

He wasn’t sure where that thought came from, but he refused to let it set in. He handed over her shirt and grabbed his own.

Shala looked up and caught Sky staring as she buttoned her blouse. “What?”

He ran a hand over his face. “You were okay with this, right?”

“Okay with what?”

He motioned to the desk. “What we just did.”

Shala’s insecurities surfaced like a school of hungry piranhas. She hadn’t had sex in so long, and even back when she was having sex, her hubby obviously hadn’t been satisfied. “Did I do something wrong?”

“Wrong? Why would you think…? God, no! I just realized that this was a bit—”

“Wild?” She tossed the word out.

He nodded. “Yeah.”

Crazy as it seemed, Sky looked as if he was the insecure one. How cool was that? Real cool. People didn’t feel insecure unless something mattered to them. She obviously mattered to Sky Gomez.

She tilted her head to the side. “It
was
wild.” She remembered how he’d looked down at her sprawled on his desk, how his eyes had been so filled with desire that she’d gone instantly wet. “And a little crazy.” She couldn’t remember sex ever being so spontaneous. She hesitated, then added, “I loved every moment of it. Are you going to think less of me now?”

He laughed and pulled her to him. “We could still do the chair.”

She rose up on tiptoes and kissed him. At that moment, Shala couldn’t remember ever being happier.

“Redfoot’s not here.” Maria stirred the onion in the pan while she spoke to Sky on the phone. “He called and said he had business to handle. I’m worried.”

“Stop worrying,” Sky replied. “But have him call me when he gets home. Did you see Jessie today?”

“Yes, I was at the hospital most of the afternoon. She’s good. Back to gossiping.”

“Not about me, I hope,” Sky said.

“Nah, but you do know there are pills for that…”

“Great!”

Maria laughed. “Silly rumor. No one will believe it. Anyway, I think she’s going home tomorrow. I’ve got to get a client’s payroll done in the morning, and then I told Sal I’d come over while he got caught up on work.”

“Let me know if I can do anything. Oh, do you want to come over to Lucas’s for steaks?”

“No. I’m cooking Spanish rice and chicken as we speak.” Maria stirred in some peppers.

“Don’t add too much garlic.”

Maria grumbled good-naturedly. “I swear—you can’t stay out of my kitchen, even when you’re on the phone.”

“Sorry, but you always add too much garlic.”

“I like garlic,” she replied.

“I know.” He chuckled, and Maria couldn’t remember him being quite so happy before. “Is Jose there?” he asked.

“No.” She reached for the garlic powder, smiling as she did. “I don’t know where he is, either.” And she needed to see him, needed to do what should have been done two years ago.

“Has Matt visited again?”

Maria heard hesitation in his voice, and she thought she understood. “I’m sorry I hit him at the station.”

“Yeah, about that. I think that instead of…hitting, maybe you should hear the guy out.”

“I have no interest in hearing how his wife doesn’t love him and—”

“What if that’s not what he has to tell you?”

“What are you saying?” She gave the bottle of garlic powder a good shake as another thought suddenly occurred to her. “Why was he even at the station?”

Sky didn’t answer. Instead he said, “Hey, I think my steaks are burning…and I think Shala’s cheating at Scrabble again. I’d better run.”

“Sky…? Damn!” she muttered when he hung up.

“Something wrong?” someone asked. When Maria swung around, she saw Jose in the doorway behind her.

Something? Everything is wrong.
“No. Just Sky still trying to tell me how to cook.” She didn’t want to get into a conversation with Jose about Matt right now, especially considering the conversation she needed to have. “Want some coffee?”

“No! No mustard, either.” He grinned.

“Sorry about that.” Adding water to her rice mixture, she put the lid on the pot. Then she turned. “We need to talk.”

He studied her. “Why does your tone remind me of Mom when she found those
Playboys
under my bed?”

Maria grinned and settled into a chair at the table. Jose sat across from her. When she met his eyes, guilt filled her chest. She should have told him, should have come clean before he left for New York. She should have told him when she lost the baby. Matt should even know. She should have told him about the baby and the possibility of her not being able to conceive when they started getting—Wait. That didn’t matter anymore. Matt was a married bastard. But she should have called him on his weekends in Dallas. Should have.
Should have.
Her life was filled with too many should-haves.

She tried to think how to ease into the conversation, but subtlety had never been her strong point, so she decided to dive in headfirst. “When you left for New York I was pregnant.”

His mouth dropped open. “You were…I…We have a child?”

A few tears slipped past her lashes. “No. I lost it.”

It? She’d never known if she carried a girl or a boy. Maria put her fingers over her trembling lips and explained, “I had a tubal pregnancy. They said it wasn’t my fault, but sometimes I think that if I would have dealt with things better, if I would have—”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“At first it was pride. I thought that if you didn’t want me, you wouldn’t want the baby. Then you didn’t even call me, and I got angry. About three weeks after you left, I started hurting. They had to operate and…” She wiped her face with the back of her hand. She didn’t have to tell him everything. “I was wrong. I know that now. I’m sorry.”

He buried his face in his hands. She heard the rice bubbling over and went to turn down the heat. The chair shifted behind her, and she thought he planned on leaving. She didn’t blame him. Instead, she felt him move close.

“Why the hell are you apologizing when it’s my fault?” He touched her shoulder. “I should have never left.”

She turned. “No, Jose.” Biting back her tears, she tried to explain. “You had to go. I know that now.”

He shook his head. “I loved you. I think I’m still in love with you. If we could—”

“Don’t say that.” She put a finger over his lips. “Look, I love you, too. I will always love you, but it’s not the right kind of love. When I came here, I wanted so badly to be a part of this family. You were so…hot, and I was so young, and I thought that if we fell in love, then I would really be a part of this family. And I think when Estella died…” She had to think how to say it. “When she died, I was the person who understood you like she did. I think you finally opened yourself up to me because I represented everything you’d lost.”

Jose blinked. “Mom told me not to let anything happen. That it would cause a ruckus.”

Maria grinned. “She was a smart woman.”

“What if she was wrong?” He touched her face.

“She wasn’t. You belong in New York. I’ll never leave Precious. And right now I hate Matt, but what I felt for him…That was what love is supposed to feel like.”

He cupped her chin in his hand. “I hate that bastard. If he doesn’t treat you right, I’ll rip out his heart.”

“It’s over between us,” she assured him.

“Have you two talked?”

She shook her head. “No! And I don’t plan on it.”

Speak of the devil, a knock sounded at the door. Maria’s insides started shaking, and she eyed the living room. Grabbing Jose by the arm she begged, “Answer it, please. If it’s Matt, make him leave.”

Jose walked out. Maria turned back to the stove and refused to listen, afraid that she’d be tempted by his voice if it was Matt. She was afraid she’d be tempted to tell him she didn’t care that he’d lied to her, didn’t care that he was married, because she’d loved him with all her heart and probably always would.

In spite of not listening, she heard the front door close. When Jose moved back into the kitchen she asked, “Was it Matt?”

“Yes.” The voice wasn’t as deep as Jose’s, and it sounded too damn much like the man she loved. Closing her eyes, Maria sent up a prayer that she was wrong—a prayer to God, the Virgin Mary, to every saint she could remember, and just in case, she also added all the spirits Redfoot believed in. There was no reason not to cover all her bases.

“Look,” Matt said, making her prayer futile. “If you’re going to hit me, let’s get it over with, because we need to talk.”

Redfoot walked up to Ramon Cloud’s porch, his heart heavy and whiskey on his breath. Before he’d left the
Funky Chicken, he’d doused himself with his last drink, hoping that too would help. Ramon’s zero tolerance for drunks was a little-known fact. Redfoot figured there was a reason for that, and the obvious suspect was the young man’s late father.

Reaching up, he banged on the door. This felt morally wrong, but he had gotten Veronica into this quandary, and he would get her out.

Ramon opened the door, and his gaze was filled with contempt—the contempt of a son who thought no man was good enough for his mother. Redfoot respected that.

“You said for me to come and…we’d go to the council.” Redfoot drew his words out. “And I’m here.” Purposely leaning close, he hoped the smell of whiskey on him was overpowering. Ramon stepped back.

“You damn well know the council has gone home for the day!”

Redfoot gaped at his watch. “Damn. Guess I lost track of the time.”

“We’ll go tomorrow.”

“Sounds like a good plan.” When Ramon tried to shut the door, Redfoot put his hand against it. “You know, at first I was mad. No way was I going to marry your skinnyassed mom!”

Ramon seethed. “Go home before I do something I’ll regret.”

“But you’re not listening,” Redfoot argued. “I’ve changed my mind. While I was at the Funky Chicken, it occurred to me. She put up with your daddy’s ass for a quarter of a century, she can put up with mine for a while. I’m not much worse than your old man.”

“You bastard!” Ramon stormed outside and threw him against the house.

“I’m not a bastard,” Redfoot managed to say. And that was the truth, though the truth would end there. He forced himself to continue. “Yeah, it was probably wrong,
all that crap I told her about how I cared, but you know how women are. They don’t give it up until you make ’em
believe
it.”

Ramon drew back his fist. Redfoot prepared himself for the blow, but the man dropped his arm and shoved him away instead. “Get the hell out of here. And stay the fuck away from my mother. You got that? Because I swear to God, old man, if you come anywhere near her, I’ll beat the life out of you. She put up with one asshole; she’ll not put up with two.”

“What about g-g-going to the council?” Redfoot slurred.

“Not happening.” Ramon stormed back inside the house and slammed the door.

As Redfoot walked away, adding a sway to his step just in case Ramon watched from the window, he muttered, “I fixed it.” Veronica should be happy now. It didn’t matter that he himself had never been more miserable.

“I’m not married.”

Matt’s words bounced around the yellow kitchen and had Maria catching her breath. She picked up the garlic powder and gave the rice mixture another good dousing before turning.

“Can I sit down?” He motioned toward the table. She nodded, and he dropped into a chair. “I was married. We’re divorced. And before you say anything, I know I should have told you.”

She crossed her arms over her chest, puzzled. “But you’re still seeing your ex-wife.”

“No. Not like you think.”

“You called her when you thought you were arrested.”

“Only because I couldn’t get my ex-father-in-law. He’s a lawyer and a nice guy. I thought I’d need him to get me out of jail.”

Maria considered. “She lives in Dallas?” she asked.

“Yes.”

“So all those weekends away, you weren’t seeing her.” She was feeling pretty dubious.

“I was, but—”

“Leave!” She pointed to the door.

Matt pulled something out of his shirt pocket and slid it across the table to her. “This is why I saw her.”

Maria’s gaze shifted. Unable to stop herself, she moved closer and stared at a photograph, at the precious face of a little girl who looked to be about three. She had big green eyes and sandy hair. Without a doubt, the child was Matt’s.

“Brenda, my ex…We met in college. I was crazy about her, but she had a thing about this other guy. I became the person she cried on when the jerk did her wrong. And he did her wrong a lot. He left and ran off to Europe. One night she came over and we got drunk and she got pregnant. I convinced her to marry me, and I thought life was great.” He raked a hand through his hair. “Great until about six weeks after we got hitched and the asshole came back. To make a long story short, we got a divorce and she married the other guy. All this happened before Brandy was born.”

Maria heard the pain in his voice. “I’m sorry,” she said.

“At first I thought I could just walk away, but I took one look at that girl and that’s the day I knew what real love is. There’s nothing like seeing your own child look up at you.”

Maria swallowed the lump in her throat. She was seeing a new side of Matt. No, that wasn’t right. She’d seen this all along. He had goodness in him, the kind of goodness that would make him a perfect family man. He was loyal, dependable, kind.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” she asked.

“At first it was to protect Brandy.”

“Protect her—from me?”

“Yes…I mean, no. Not just you. I didn’t want to bring people into her life and then have them walk away. Brenda and the asshole got a divorce. I saw how it hurt Brandy, and I didn’t want…” He leaned across the table. “I was going to tell you before things got serious. But it got serious so quick. Then one night you mentioned how glad you were that neither of us had been married. You said it brought a bunch of extra baggage into the relationship. I panicked. I convinced myself that if I let you fall in love with me, you’d understand.”

Maria stood frozen, trying to understand her emotions. Matt hadn’t been cheating on her. He loved her. Why wasn’t her heart rejoicing?

He pressed his hand down on the table. “I was waiting until the right time, but the time never seemed right.” He stood and walked to her on the other side of the table. “The idea of losing you was too much. But I was going to take you to meet Brandy next weekend. Remember I asked if you’d go away with me? I had this whole speech prepared about how I wanted you to marry me and I wanted us to have kids—to give Brandy a sister or a brother.”