Side Chic

             
             
             
             
             
Lala

             
I slipped my shades over my hazel eyes to try and hide the sadness in them and the tears that threatened to fall from them. I didn’t want Tre to see me cry. I didn’t want him to know that after all of the shit that I’d talked and all of the rules that I had made up when we first started kicking it I had still managed to get caught up and fall for him. It was true though I had and I’d fallen hard. I guess that’s why people are always saying that you shouldn’t try to plan shit because it never works out the way that you plan. This right here was a prime example. We were only supposed to be sex buddies and nothing more. That was the
point of the rules. No kissing! No cuddling! No quality time! Just sex!
That way neither of us caught feelings. In the beginning we both played by the rules but as time passed the rules started
to
slowly but surely be forgotten. I tried my hardest to stick to them but we all know how that goes.

             
I glanced in my review through teary eyes at his lean frame still standing in the same spot that I’d left him in watching me as I drove my 2010 black Maybach out of the hotel parking lot and out of his life forever. That’
s when it happened!
I couldn’t fight the tears any longer. They flowed freely down my cheeks and there was nothing that I could do to stop them. My heart was in a million pieces. I wanted to turn around, go back and tell him how I felt but I couldn’t because the truth of the matter was that he had someone and he loved her very much. I knew the rules of the game that I had chosen to play before it started so now I had to deal with the consequences. I can’t even front in this situation the consequences were a motherfucker! They always are when it comes to matters of the heart. Sometimes your heart can be your worst enemy because that motherfucker will deceive you every time! You can try all you want to fight what you know is there but it has a mind of its own.

             
I opened the console that was in between my seats and took out a tissue. I took my shades off and laid them in the passenger seat, dried my eyes and tried my best to concentrate on the road. I had a long trip ahead of me. I was headed to Danville, VA. I was leaving Boykins,
VA and all of my feeling for Tre behind. I couldn’t stay here as long as he was here it was impossible. What I felt for him was too strong for the two of us to c
ontinue to live in the same town
. I
needed some distance between him
and I and a whole lot of it! I knew that if I stayed I wouldn’t be strong enough to continue to fight what I was feeling. This man had me so open that I might show up on his doorstep and tell him that I love him and fuck his girl because I wanted him in my life and not just as a cuddy buddy but as my man. I’d say it and be prepared to deal with whatever came after that! I knew that I couldn’t do that though. Tre would no doubt kill my ass
if I tried some shit like that!
I wasn’t that type of chick though. I knew my position.

             
I turned up the radio and as my luck would have it One Love by Trey Songz was playing. Tre and I both loved us some Trey Songz. I turned the radio to another station. Fifteen minutes into my drive my cell started to ring. I didn’t have to look at the screen to see who it was because Cuddy Buddy by Trey Songz ringtone was playing that told me it was Tre. I quickly debated on whether or not I should answer but it didn’t take long for me to decide. I needed to hear his voice again one last time.

             
I pressed the send button and answered. “Hello.”

             
“
Hey b
ae-bae
, you good?” He asked his deep baritone voice was filled with concern. “You didn’t seem like yo’self when you left. You acted like something was bothering you.”

             
“Yeah, I’m good.”
There was a brief silence as
I hesitated for a moment
and took a deep breath
before telling him what I hadn’t been able to say back at the hotel. “
Tre
…
I-I’m on my way out of town and I won’t be returning. I need to get away for a while to get my head straight.”

             
“Say what? What are you talking about?” He asked. I assumed confused by what I’d just said. “Get away from what?”

             
“Boykins!” I paused and then continued. “You…us!”

             
“Me? Us? Why the fuck are you talking in riddles? ” He snapped. He hated it when I
would
beat around the bush instead of just
saying what was on my mind. “Lala
, umma ask you one more time to tell me what the fuck
you are talking about
!”

             
Fuck it! What did I have to lose? I was leaving anyways. Why not just keep it one hundred with him like I always had. “I am leaving town as we speak. I put all of my stuff in storage and my clothes are in the trunk.”

             
He cut me off. “What? You did what? What the hell did you do that for? You are starting to piss me off! For some reason I am starting to feel like I am missing something!” He paused but before I could say anything he asked. “Is this about some nigga?”

             
I was caught off guard by that question and for some reason I even felt a little offended. He knew for a fact
that he was the only man that I’
d been sleeping with for the past two years. “What? Hell no! I’m leaving because instead of sticking to the rules of the game I messed around and got caught up! I fell in love! And before you say anything I know that we weren’t suppose
d
to be like that but the shit just happened! It crept up on me! I mean one day we were just sex buddies and you were giving me some of the best sex that I’ve ever had and the next I was starting to feel shit for you that I wasn’t suppose
d
to!” I cried. The water works
had
started again.

             
He was silent for a minute and then I hea
rd him let out a sigh. “Damn Lala
, I don’t know what to say. I mean…” I could imagine him pulling on the hair under his chin which he always did when he was deep in thought or at a loss for words.

             
I swiped at the tears that were rolling down my cheeks. “You don’t have to say anything Tre. It’s all good. I just got caught up that’s not your fault, it’s mine. I wish you the best. Bye.” I was too afraid to hear his response so I disconnected the call and turned off my phone.  “Damn I am going to miss you!” I said out loud. I was already missing him and I hadn’t even been driving thirty minutes yet.

             
In the year and a half that the two of us had been getting it in he had shown me some shit that niggas I’d dated five and ten years his senior had failed to show me. At the tender age of twenty-four his dick game was on point and had
a bitch like me wide open and fi
enin’ for another taste. He knew how to kiss my neck, nibble on my ears, caress my breasts, and stroke my clit in a way that would have my body on fi
re in just a matter of seconds!
Sometimes all he had to do was look at me in a certain way and my panties would just melt off!

             
“Fuck!” I banged my fists on the steering wheel. I was so damn mad with myself for allowing myself to catch feelings for a nigga that wasn’t
mine!

             
I looked ahead of me and saw a sign saying that there was an Exxon com
ing up within the next two exits
. I decided that I would stop there, fill up my tank and get some snacks for the road.

             
I turned into the parking lot of the Exxon and pulled up to the gas tank. I pulled down the sun visor
so that I could look in the mirror. My face was a mess with a mixture of snot and tears. I
took some more tissues out of my console and dried my eyes and cleaned my nose before getting out of the car. I went inside and got the things that I would
need
for my trip. After walking up and down the
aisles
gathering snacks and some drinks, I took all of my things up to the register.

             
The cashier was an older black lady. “Hey
,
young lady. How are you today? Did you find everything okay?” She asked giving me a warm toothy smile.

             
“Yes ma’am I did and
I’m fine. How about you?” I asked
politely.

             
“Oh I’m fine baby.
I’m j
ust ready to get out of here so that I can get down to the Bingo Hall. I’
m feeling kind of lucky tonight!
” She laughed but I just smiled because I wasn’t in a laughin
g mood. “Why are you looking so sad?
You are way too pretty to be wearing such a sad expression.”

             
A lump formed in my throat. I wanted to respond but I couldn’t because just thinking about the reason for the expression that I was wearing made me want to breakdown right there in
the store and cry my eyes out!

             
“Young lady
,
I don’t know why you’re upset but if it has anything to do with a man. Dry those tears and put a smile on that pretty face of yours because if he’s meant for you then it will be but if not then you will just have to put it behind you and move on. I know that is easier said t
han done but it’s the truth. Y’a
ll young people need to stop worrying yourselves with things that you can’t change. One day when you are older like me you will realize that those things aren’t even worth half the energy that you put into worrying about them.” Just as she got those words out of her mouth a gentleman walked up to the counter to pay for his items. She added up my snacks and my gas and then took my credit card and swiped it. I signed the receipt and grabbed my bag.

             
“Remember what I said.” She told me before I walked out of the store.
             

             
“I will.” I replied.

             
When I stepped outside I looked up at the sky. Thick grey clouds covered the sky telling me that I would more than likely run into some rain. The weather seem
ed
to match my mood. I put my bag in the car and then pumped my gas. The cashier’s words kept echoing over and over in my head because I knew that what she’d told me was right. The only thing was she didn’t know that the man I was sad over wasn’t even mines. I was upset and heartbroken over someone els
e’s man
. A part of me wished that I had just continued to fight off Tre’s advances and never gave in to them but the other part of me had no regrets at all.

             
I got in my car and headed down Highway 58 on my way to a fresh start. I drove two hours straight before pulling off the road and into a McDonalds. I grabbed my cell and my purse and went inside. After receiving my order I found a table near the window and turned on my cell. I dialed my mom’s number. I knew that she was probably worried sick about me by now since she hadn’t heard from me all day.

             
“Hey baby. I am so glad that you finally called me. I have been worried sick about you. I’ve tried to call you at least ten times but kept right on getting your voicemail.” She rattled off as soon as she answered the phone.

I’d told her that I was leaving town and even shared with her the reason why. I didn’t keep any secrets from my parents. I didn’t feel the need to. They’ve always let me know that I could talk to them about anything whether it was good or bad. They were going to love me regardless. When I
’d
told them about Tre and I neither of them said anything at first. After they had digested it my mom told me that I was a grown woman and to do whatever I felt like I needed to do.

             
My dad on the other hand simply said. “You know that I love you baby girl but the truth is you were wrong to go out here and lay with somebody else’s man. Ain’t there enough men
s
out here that you don’t have to be sharing one?” He’d taken his hat off and scratched his head. “You know karma is a female dog. What you do to someone always comes back to bite you! We raised you better than that! I know we did! Here you are in love with another woman’s man and running away from your home and your job! That is just nonsense!”

             
I wasn’t upset to hear my dad say those words because I knew that he was telling the truth. It did hurt though. I did feel
a little bit
bad for sleeping with him knowing that he had someone and I also knew that if I was her it would hurt me to find out that my man was having an ongoing affair with some other woman for two years but shit happens. I feel bad but I don’t regret one minute of the time that Tre and I spent together. It wasn’t all sex. We sha
red a lot more. We had a lot
in common. We both enjoyed the same type of movies, TV shows, and foods. We could sit and talk for hours about different things.
He
was also my friend.