Silver Christmas (8 page)

Owen blew out a breath. "We've had ten years
of father-daughter time. It's about time we had some family time
where she gets to shop for a Christmas tree with
both
her
parents. Don't let her down, Jennifer."

Her cheeks flushed and she set down her
teacup. "I was trying to be considerate."

"Well, don't. Be a mother." He knew he
sounded harsh, but he was fed up with worrying about what would
happen next. He just wanted Jennifer to be a proper mother to
Chloe. And he wanted Jennifer to feel the same way about him as he
did about her.

So, why don't you tell her how you
feel?
the little voice inside his head whispered.

• • •

Either Owen was a very good actor, or he really
didn't mind having her along on his shopping trip with Chloe. As
they turned into the garden center car park, between two tall
Christmas trees blinking with colored lights, Jennifer cast him a
curious sideways glance.

Why was he being so understanding? She hadn't
expected this.

"Here we are." Owen halted the vehicle in a
parking space and cut the engine.

Chloe let out a whoop and Paddy jumped around
on the backseat at Chloe's side, picking up on her excitement.

Owen climbed out and rounded the car, helping
Chloe down from the high vehicle before passing the end of Paddy's
leash to her. "Hold him tight. There are lots of cars around."

"I know, Dad. I have eyes."

"That's enough back talk from you, young
lady." He tugged playfully on her ponytail.

Jennifer pushed open the passenger door and
Owen stepped in front of her, smiling. "Let me help you down." He
settled a hand on either side of her waist.

She had no choice but to rest her palms on
his shoulders as he lifted her from the high vehicle. Once he set
her on her feet, his firm grip lingered on her waist, the corners
of his eyes crinkling, a roguish twinkle in their brown depths.

Sensation pinged beneath her skin, stealing
her breath. She'd been so certain of what she wanted when she came
back to Rosemoor—to get to know her daughter. She'd had no desire
to resurrect her long-dead relationship with Owen. Yet she couldn't
deny the effect he had on her. The chemistry between them was still
there.

Was he flirting with her out of habit, or did
that twinkle in his eyes mean something? As she lost herself in the
pleasure of being close to him, she found it difficult to remember
the bitterness and anger she'd hung on to for so many years.

"Come on, Mum and Dad. Hurry up."

Chloe's words snapped Jennifer out of her
dreamy thoughts, and she remembered why she was here. She had to be
careful around Owen. When he turned on the charm, she forgot
everyone else.

They headed inside the foyer of the huge
wooden building that looked like a massive alpine chalet, with a
model Santa on a sleigh pulled by a string of reindeer high on the
shingled roof.

Paddy towed Chloe between the displays of
potted plants and garden furniture, following his nose towards the
pet section.

"Oh no, you don't, Paddy Paws. We're not
going to that part today." Owen took over the leash and got him
under control before walking on to the corner of the store
dedicated to Christmas. Gleaming displays of decorations lined the
aisles, with numerous tiny lights in festive shapes flashing all
around.

They exited through sliding glass doors to an
outside yard full of Christmas trees, sectioned off according to
height.

"Seven feet is tall enough, I think." Owen
lifted a tree from the rack and shook out the branches before
standing it upright. "What do you think, cocoa puff?"

"That one's got a bent branch." Chloe checked
through the other trees of the same height, rejecting most of them
for imperfections.

"Why doesn't Mum help you choose? Maybe she
isn't as fussy." Owen gave Jennifer a crooked smile, obviously
enjoying the tree-selection process despite his words.

Jennifer ran her hand down a fragrant green
pine branch, remembering the times she'd done this with her father,
which felt like a lifetime ago. She hadn't celebrated Christmas
with a traditional tree since she was fifteen. After that, her dad
walked out and left her mother so bitter and vindictive, the only
thing that interested her was making her ex-husband's life hell.
Jennifer was just another thing for them to fight over, and they
made her life miserable.

At college, Christmas celebrations consisted
of parties and lots of alcohol to hold back her guilt and sorrow
over leaving her baby. In Africa, Christmas had passed almost
unnoticed. She'd had no reason to return to the UK for the holiday
season, and the people she worked with weren't Christians.

Now Chloe's enthusiasm infected Jennifer,
reviving her happy memories of the time before her dad left. She
lifted a tree, surprised by how heavy it was. Owen reached over her
shoulder to grip the top of the trunk with a large, capable hand,
lifting the thing as though it were as light as a feather.

"So, does this one pass inspection?" he
asked.

"Look how bushy it is." Jennifer tried to
encourage Chloe to agree, and Owen gave her a conspiratorial
smile.

Chloe circled the tree with a frown of
concentration on her face, checking all the branches were the right
length and none were stunted or broken.

"It's a shame you're not as fussy about
keeping your bedroom tidy," Owen said.

Chloe ignored the dig and rested a hand on
Jennifer's arm. "If Mum likes it, then I do too. This Christmas has
to be extra special because it's the first one you're here with us,
Mum."

Jennifer put her arms around Chloe, her chest
so tight with emotion she could barely breathe. She blinked against
the prick of tears and had to swallow a few times before she could
answer. "You are the sweetest girl. I'm so lucky."

"I'm lucky 'cause I have my dad and mum
together at last. And Dad's lucky 'cause he has both of his girls
with him at Christmas."

Jennifer hugged her daughter more tightly.
The thought of all the Christmases with Chloe she'd missed nearly
undid her. She closed her eyes and kissed her daughter's hair,
wondering if Owen really did think he was lucky to have her here.
Or was that only wishful thinking?

When they
arrived home, Jennifer made a pot of tea for everyone
and stood to one side, cradling
a hot cup between her chilly hands while Owen wrestled the
Christmas tree beneath the low door frame into the sitting room. He
carried the tree in its bucket of soil across the room and set it
in the far corner near the huge old fireplace.

Thundering
footsteps on the stairs heralded Chloe and Paddy. A moment later,
the girl struggled in with a box of decorations.

"
Whoa." Owen
grabbed the box from her and deposited it on the floor beside the
tree. "I thought you were going to wait for me to carry that
downstairs for you."

"
You can bring
down the other two boxes, Dad."

Owen
chuckled and shook his head. "Yes, ma'am."

"
Do you want a
hand?" Jennifer put down her tea mug and made to follow
Owen.

"
Stay with me,
Mum. I want you to help me decorate the tree."

At
Chloe's words, Jennifer glanced at Owen, who nodded with a smile.
"I'll manage the other two boxes. You help Chloe." He cast an
affectionate glance at his daughter. "There's nothing like sharing
the wonder of Christmas with her. Decorating the Christmas tree
together and watching her unwrap her presents are two of the most
magical moments of the year."

Magical
moments Jennifer had so far missed. Owen must have read her
thoughts on her face because he touched her shoulder. "Sorry, I
didn't mean to make you feel bad. You can't change the past, so put
it behind you and make the most of now."

How could
Owen be the same man she'd walked out on? Had he changed so much,
or had she not really known him?

"
When did you
get to be so wise?" she asked.

"
The trials of
life will do that to you."

Owen was
thoughtful and a little down as he let the dogs out for a final
time before bed. He'd tested how Jennifer felt about him a couple
of times, and her responses were not encouraging. When he'd lifted
her down from the car earlier, she hadn't even smiled at him.

Maybe he was wasting his time, and he should
accept that she'd never want to be with him. The hope he'd nurtured
for years that she'd come back to
him
was just a foolish
dream.

She'd come back, all right, but only for
Chloe. Nothing Jennifer had said or done since she knocked on the
door of Rosemoor Farm three weeks ago indicated she had any
romantic interest in him.

"Zack, Heidi, come on, you two." Owen shut
and bolted the back door as he did every night and wandered into
the quiet kitchen. Alone. Once Chloe went to bed, the place was too
quiet.

Much as he adored his daughter, sometimes he
longed for adult companionship, a woman to share his life with.
There had been women interested in him over the years, but none of
them were right—none of them were Jennifer.

Tossing a dog treat in each of the dog beds,
he crouched to pet Zach and Heidi, his two loyal companions. "You
won't ever desert me, will you?" They both stared at him with
adoring eyes and wagged their tails. At least somebody loved
him.

He rose and shut the dog-treat caddy,
glancing around the kitchen to check everything was in its place
before he turned out the light. His mother would be amazed to see
him now, so domesticated. And his father would never believe his
work-shy son had taken over the farm.

He glanced up to heaven, wishing they were
still here to see he'd grown up and accepted his responsibilities,
and to see what a wonderful girl their baby granddaughter had
turned into. His breath rushed out on a despondent sigh. It was
Christmas in a few days. He should be happy.

As he headed for the stairs, a rustling from
the sitting room caught his attention. He backed up and glanced
through the half-open door. The glowing embers in the fireplace
illuminated Jennifer kneeling by the Christmas tree.

He stayed silent and watched as she pulled
some wrapped gifts from a carrier bag and added them to the pile of
presents he'd put at the base of the tree earlier. Not sure what he
planned to say, he pushed the door wider and stepped inside, the
sound drawing her attention.

"Owen. I thought you'd gone to bed."

"Just had to let the dogs out."

"Ah."

He wandered closer and she rose to face him.
Lifting a hand, he touched the tips of his fingers to the red scars
on her jaw and chin. She tried to hide them with makeup, but by the
end of the day, the concealer wore off.

"How did you get these cuts?"

"I fell when I was shot. Lots of sharp stones
on the ground."

He imagined her face covered in blood and
dirt as she writhed in agony with a bullet in her gut. Anger
surged, sharper because he was powerless to right this wrong. If he
met the cowards who shot her, he'd give them what for—and probably
get killed in the process.

Owen withdrew his hand and rubbed his eyes.
He didn't have any energy left for this emotional uncertainty. He
needed to lay his cards on the table and get the rejection over
with.

"I owe you an apology."

"What for? You've been more than reasonable,
inviting me to stay for Christmas."

That drew a sad chuckle from him. "Not for
now. I mean for driving you away from your daughter in the first
place."

He had her attention now. Her gaze sharpened
and she was suddenly alert.

"I admit it, what you accused me of back
then. I tried to use Chloe to b— I mean, to keep you with me." He
couldn't say the word
blackmail
, although to his eternal
shame, that was the truth. He'd threatened to go to court for
custody and keep her from seeing Chloe if she didn't give up on her
idea of going to college. Since his father was a magistrate, he'd
been certain he'd win.

In the end she'd thrown it all back in his
face by simply walking away and leaving him holding the baby.

Jennifer sighed, turned away, and stared into
the fire. "I hate it when kids are used as bargaining chips in
relationship breakups. That's what happened to me when my parents
split. I probably overreacted to your ultimatum. I should have
deferred my courses for another year. If I'd stayed, I'm sure we
could have worked out a way to both be in Chloe's life."

"I'm sorry." Owen's voice was rough with
regret. So much water under the bridge; rough white water full of
sharp rocks that had ripped them both to shreds.

He didn't deserve her love, yet he had to ask
the question that played in the back of his mind constantly.

"Do you think we could have made it work
between us if I'd been more reasonable?"
Did you ever love
me?

Jennifer shrugged. "Who knows."

In other words,
No, I didn't.

• • •

"Do you think we could have made it work between
us if I'd been more reasonable?"
Owen's words kept playing over
in Jennifer's mind. His tone had been laden with subtext. Could he
possibly want them to try again?

Jennifer went back over everything Owen had
said and done since she came back. One moment Jennifer decided,
yes; he wanted to try again. The next she was certain she must be
imagining things, reading more into his words than he'd intended.
Especially since she'd hardly seen him since that Sunday evening
when they put up the Christmas tree.