Silver Thaw (17 page)

Amanda noticed his pause and asked, “As much as you love what?”

Thinking quickly, Jeb replied, “As much as I love standing outside at night, staring up at a starry sky and contemplating the magnificence of creation.”

Amanda’s gaze went blank for a second, as if she were trying to see a starlit sky in her mind’s eye. Then she smiled and nodded. “Is there anything more beautiful than a starlit sky to touch our souls?”

Monkey sex with you. All positions, no limits. Hell, if I could swing from a chandelier with you and plunge to my death, I’d die a happy man.
Jeb had always spoken his mind and prided himself on the trait. But Amanda didn’t need to know what he was thinking at that moment. He suspected that few women wanted to know what a man actually had on his mind. When they asked what you were thinking, maybe they really wanted to hear—well, what they wanted to hear.

He bypassed the formal living room and large dining room on his left and moved into the great room, where, as a boy, he’d kicked holes in the walls during his karate
phase and tracked black muck onto the carpet after fixing his motorcycle. The area featured a full-size pool table, a rock fireplace, a comfy sectional in dark brown that created a U shape off to the right, and a spacious adjoining kitchen to the left. It didn’t compare to Jeb’s kitchen, but his mom and dad had designed the area for large family dinners, with plenty of counter space and an island bar with stools on one side and a work area on the other.

With a kitchen towel already tied around her neck, Chloe stood on the stepstool that Jeb had once used and watched with fascination as Jeb’s mom filled a shooter with pizza dough. Today his mom was using what he called the “straight tip,” which had always been his favorite.

Jeb motioned for Amanda to take a seat on a barstool beside him, and they watched the pizza-shaping process. With Kate as a guide, Chloe’s initial attempt to make a heart resulted in a lopsided one, but her second effort was nearly perfect.

As the child spurted dough onto the stone, Kate said, “We can each choose what kind of pizza we want. I have different cheeses and meat, and plenty of vegetables.” Kate hugged Chloe’s shoulders and whispered loudly enough for Jeb to hear, “Do you eat meat? If so, you can add some sausage or pepperoni.”

“Yes, we eat meat,” Chloe replied, “but Mommy and I don’t choose to eat animals that are our friends.” Already squeezing out another small heart, she added, “That’s not okay.”

Jeb had another
oh, shit
moment, but he was grateful for the enlightenment. He stiffened on the barstool as Chloe went on, sounding much older than her years.

“For instance, Mr. Jeb raises chickens.” The child tipped her head sideways. “But he doesn’t
eat
the hens that lay his eggs. So all of them have names, and he goes to the grocery store to buy chicken to eat.”

Jeb’s mom sent him the piercing look that he remembered from childhood. He gave her an eyebrow twitch in response, praying that she got the message and wouldn’t tell Chloe that he’d regularly harvested older hens prior to the child’s presence in his home.

Kate visibly collected her composure. “Well, what man with any heart would eat a hen because she stopped laying?” Jeb’s mom sent him another straight-into-his-eyes message that said, more clearly than with words,
You’d better live up to the image of yourself that you’ve planted in this child’s mind, or I will make fast work of kicking your fanny.
And Jeb knew he’d let her do it.

If he got lucky and Amanda stayed with him—if he’d finally found the kind of love and commitment that his folks had—he would gladly eat store-bought chicken for the rest of his life.

But—and this was a much larger problem, both literally and figuratively—Jeb also raised at least two steers a year for meat, which he shared with all his family. How would he pull off slaughter day without sending Chloe into hysteria? That was a conundrum of gigantic proportions. The
reason
Jeb raised two steers for himself and his family was because Jeremiah knew that his wife would fall in love with the beeves if he raised them at his place. Kate would name them and give them treats, and then protect the animals with her own body when the slaughter truck arrived.

If Amanda and Chloe stayed with Jeb, he would have
to move his steers to rented pastureland. Then, when it came time for the butcher, he’d tell Chloe that the animals needed more grazing in a distant pasture.
Another white lie
. He was getting much too good at telling them, which made him uncomfortable. But he honestly couldn’t think of any other way around the problem. No sane man would feed two steers for their entire lives out of the goodness of his heart. He needed to find a pasture to rent, fast.

Jeb was musing on that, and checking his watch, when his mother announced that lunch was ready. In response to Kate’s text message, Jeb’s dad came in from the stable to eat. Once Amanda and Chloe were introduced to Jeremiah, the group gathered at the table, said the blessing, and began devouring piping-hot pizza.

“After Chloe and I clean up the kitchen, we’re going to make holiday cookies,” Kate announced. “Sugar cookies that we can cut into shapes and decorate.” Directing a smile at Chloe, she asked, “Won’t that be fun?”

“I
love
making cookies!” Chloe crowed.

Amanda, sitting at Kate’s left, leaned closer to her hostess to whisper, “She may make a huge mess. She gets a little too enthusiastic with the sprinkles.”

Kate laughed. “So do I, and making a mess is half the fun.”

Jeremiah dabbed the corners of his mouth with his napkin. “Text me when the first batch comes out of the oven. I want mine warm without frosting.”

Chloe flashed Jeb’s dad a wondering look. “Don’t you like frosting?” The possibility was clearly beyond the child’s comprehension. “That’s the best part.”

Jeremiah chuckled. “I love the frosting. Kate slaps my hands when I get into the cookies because she’s afraid
I’ll eat them all. It’s just that my favorite thing in the whole world is eating cookies still warm from the oven.”

“Oh.” Chloe shrugged. “We’ll make sure to text you then.”

Kate gazed at her husband. “You’ll eat the whole first batch.”

Jeremiah retorted, “Eating the whole first batch is the
fun part
of cookie days.”

Chloe chimed in, “Mimi, we can let him eat the first batch if he wants. We’ll be making lots and lots!”

Kate nodded. “You’re right. He works hard outdoors so he builds up an appetite.” She winked at her husband. “Chloe asked if she might call me Grandma. I asked to be called Mimi instead.”

Jeb glanced at Amanda. Her shoulders were relaxed. Her eyes shone with warmth. He was glad he’d set aside time for them to linger before leaving for Crystal Falls. Now Amanda wouldn’t worry about her daughter while they were gone.

*   *   *

Jeb whispered to Amanda that they had to leave in forty-five minutes. Amanda wasn’t about to sit on her bum while Kate cleaned up the kitchen, so she stood to clear the table. Before she could collect a plate, Jeb beat her to the draw. She gave him a quick study, appreciating the fact that he was willing to help. Even more impressive, Jeremiah joined in the effort. Apparently, this was a family that played together, joked, laughed, and pitched in when there was work to be done. As an only child, Amanda had always wished for siblings, the more the better, but her mom had had great difficulty getting pregnant, so Amanda’s arrival had been considered a miracle by both her parents. No other kids had come along, and she’d been
doted on. Amanda couldn’t complain. She’d been a happy kid. But to this day, she still yearned to live in a home that rang with noise and laughter.

She soon found herself working in tandem with Jeb to rinse dishes and put them into the machine. Kate tackled the stovetop. Jeremiah wiped down the island bar. Chloe stood on the stepstool next to Amanda at the sink,
helping
to rinse dishes. She got in the way more than anything, but Amanda wanted her to experience a joint effort and feel part of a family. Someday, when Chloe grew up, Amanda hoped she would jump in to help with meal preparation and cleanup.

Amanda couldn’t help but notice how easily she and Jeb established a rhythm. If it hadn’t been for the way her heart leaped when they accidentally touched hands or bumped into each other, they might have been doing dishes together for years. It felt strange and yet nice. She got her injured finger wet and was glad that she’d thought to slip some fresh butterfly bandages into her pocket. Before leaving for Crystal Falls, she would re-dress the cut.

All too soon, Jeb signaled that it was time to go. Amanda rinsed her coffee cup and put it in the dishwasher. While Jeb rinsed his, she quickly changed her bandage and went to hug her daughter good-bye. Distracted by a box of clear Christmas tree balls and acrylic paint in an assortment of colors, Chloe returned the quick embrace and resumed her study of the ornaments. Apparently Kate planned to make yet another mess this afternoon, creating tree decorations.

Once outside, Jeb encircled Amanda’s shoulders with one arm as they made their way across the ice to his truck. Ever the gentleman, he opened the passenger door and gave her a boost onto the seat.

When he joined her inside the cab and started the engine, he said over the rumble, “On the way, I’m hoping we can have a discussion and make some decisions. We don’t get much opportunity to talk about serious matters with Chloe around.”

Tension stiffened Amanda’s spine and she asked with trepidation, “What are you hoping to discuss?”

She braced herself for his answer.

Amanda waited for Jeb’s response as he focused on a treacherous curve in the road. When it straightened, he returned his attention to forming a carefully worded reply.

“For starters, I want to readdress the job offer.” He turned off Clark Road and headed toward the town center, where he would exit onto North Huckleberry and access Highway 97 at the edge of town. “You haven’t accepted it yet, and I personally feel it’s the best option you have. For both of you.”

Amanda already knew that. She would soon be in debt to Jeb for an incredible amount of money. This employment opportunity gave her the only real chance she had to improve her financial situation and pay him back. She refused to think of his loan as a gift. She’d settle the debt, no matter how long it took.

“I know it’s a very good offer,” she told him. “It’s just—do you want the absolute truth?”

He chuckled. “Hell, no. I want you to lie. Of course I want the truth.”

“This whole situation makes me extremely uneasy,”
she confessed. “And I guess my pride is also getting in the way. We barely know each other, and now you’re about to give me a huge amount of money. It’s insane.”

He crossed North Huckleberry Bridge, heading north. “You know what, Amanda? A lot of time isn’t always necessary for people to become well acquainted. From the start, we’ve been in a crazy situation together. Think of it this way. Somewhere on a battlefield right now, men and women are fighting for their country and trying to stay alive. What do you think they do when they’ve just met and the enemy is coming at them? Do they huddle in a bunker back to back, ready to protect each other with their lives? Or does the woman say, ‘You’re a total stranger. Why would you want to risk dying for me?’”

Stymied by the question, Amanda studied Jeb’s sharply chiseled profile, admiring the straight bridge of his nose, the square strength of his jawline, and the way his toffee-colored hair lay in a wave over his high forehead.

Before she could answer, he continued. “And after the danger has passed, when they have observed each other under fire, do you think they still feel like strangers? Or are the moments they shared engraved forever in their minds, making them feel they know each other better than anyone, ever?”

“We aren’t on a battlefield,” she pointed out. Saying it gained her a little thinking time.

A muscle ticked in his lean cheek. “The hell we aren’t. For us, it’s the life of a child that’s on the line. I’ve got her back—or maybe I should say that I
want
to have her back. But you’re holding things up, second-guessing my motives, and, well, just generally being a difficult pain in the ass.”

A laugh erupted from Amanda. It came so suddenly and with such force that it startled her. “I guess I am,” she admitted. “I’m sorry. I’m having a hard time accepting that I need help to protect Chloe. I’m her mother. I should be able to do it on my own, and the fact that I can’t frightens me.”

“Fair enough. But I do need help with my house, and I think you know it. If you don’t take the job, I’ll hire someone else. Yet you act as if I’m offering you charity. It’s only a job, not a lifelong commitment. As soon as you’re financially able, you can quit and move on to bigger and better things, no hard feelings.”

“All right!” she cried. “I’ll take the damned job. But on my terms. Five hundred a month with room and board.”

“Nine hundred,” he countered.

“We went over this last night. If I keep my cafeteria job, I can’t work for you full-time. That’s way too much money to pay me. Six.”

“You’ll work a lot more than you think,” he retorted. “No less than eight.”

“Seven,” she shot back.

He grinned while keeping his gaze on the road. “Deal. But I have to say, you drive a hard bargain in reverse.”

Just then, Amanda recalled that he’d offered her seven hundred last night and realized he’d somehow herded her into accepting that amount. “It’s too much, but because
you
are such a difficult pain in the ass, I’ll accept it.”

It was his turn to laugh. “Call me all the names you like. I’m happy with the bargain. You have no idea just how happy.” He glanced over at her. “Now that that’s settled, I need to know where I stand for this
consultation with the attorney. Would you like me to go in with you, or would you prefer that I butt out?”

Amanda considered the question. She’d be telling the lawyer some of her darkest secrets, which she preferred that Jeb not hear. But this wasn’t about her; it was about Chloe. “I need you to go in with me. I might forget to ask a question or, even worse, be so nervous that I’ll forget everything he says.”

Expression solemn, Jeb stared straight ahead. “He’ll probably want to view the photographs. They’ll come up on the screen. Unless his monitor faces away from us, I’ll see the pictures again. Are you okay with that?”

Amanda swallowed hard. “You’ve already seen them. I won’t like it. I’ll feel horribly exposed.” She clamped her hands over his knees. “But in the end, all that matters is Chloe. How I feel doesn’t count.”

“It counts with me,” he told her, his voice going husky. “I’m sorry you have to endure this.”

“You caused none of it. My mistakes got me and my daughter into this mess. I wore rose-colored glasses when I fell for Mark. I had unprotected sex with him. We were together only once before we got married, but that was all it took. I was pregnant, thought I was in love, and Mark offered to marry me. I was dumb and said yes.”

“You were young and innocent, not
dumb
,” he corrected. “And it’s easy to be fooled by a guy who’s all sweetness and charm until he gets a ring on your finger. I’ve met women who seemed wonderful at first, and then they turned into witches.”

“You never married one of them.”

“Nope. I wasn’t seventeen, and I wasn’t pregnant. When you attend university, you grow up and learn a lot.
By the time I graduated and moved back to Mystic, I had a load of experience with women under my belt.”

Amanda relaxed against the seat, feeling a vast relief that defied explanation. “You honestly don’t think I’m stupid.”

“I think you’re sharp as a tack. And if you doubt my assessment, take a long gander at Chloe. She’s a bright and well-spoken child.
You
raised her. From what I’ve heard, Mark only showed up to complain, knock you around, and, in the end, abuse your daughter. And, to your immense credit, you managed to get her out of there. And on foot, I might add. When I think of how you waited until the timing was perfect and started getting cash withdrawals off credit cards to collect enough money to run, I’m amazed.”

Amanda shot him a startled look. “I never told you about the credit cards. How do you know that? Did Chloe tell you?”

She saw him wince and then witnessed in his expression the battle he waged to tell her the truth. “I read your notes.”

“My what?”

“The notes you threw into the wind. About fifty of them landed on my property. I was plenty pissed at first. I thought someone was driving by and tossing trash out the window. Then I noticed there was writing on the strips of paper.”

Amanda recalled writing about her credit card scam one night and gleefully wondering how Mark had reacted when he’d started getting all the bills. “I never dreamed I’d meet anyone who’d read those messages.”

“Well, you did. I’m sorry I didn’t fess up sooner, but I didn’t want to embarrass you.”

Amanda thought of all the secrets she’d shared on those slips of paper and wished she could melt and be absorbed into the leather of the bucket seat.

“I decided the notes were blowing in from the south, probably from Elderberry Lane. I started to obsess about you, wishing I could find you and at least be your friend. You sounded very lonely. So when the storm hit, and Tony Bradley pounded on my door for help with the neighbors, I chose to cover your road, hoping I’d meet you. Your house was the last one, and it looked vacant. But as I turned around, I noticed disturbed snow in front of the porch. So I pulled over, still not sure that the old house was occupied, and when I knocked, the door cracked open, and there you were.”

Amanda remembered how frightened she’d been to let him inside, but in retrospect she now knew it was the best choice she’d ever made. Her voice trembled as she said, “I thank God you knocked. I thank God you refused to let me and Chloe stay there. I thank God for the winter clothes. I just have trouble telling you thank you. I’m sorry for that. I should be thanking you with every breath I take.”

“Well, sweetheart, from now on you’ll be working and paying your own way.” He cast her another quick glance. “And just for the record, I’m thankful, too. Before you came along, I was lonely. Rattling around in that huge house with only a dog for company. My life felt empty and sometimes pointless, though I hated admitting it, even to myself. It wasn’t how I imagined it would be when I turned thirty.”

“My life isn’t what I imagined it would be, either. I planned to become a teacher. English was my favorite subject, and I pictured myself making kids love the
language as much as I do. Instead I never even went to college.”

“You’ve done a fine job of teaching Chloe her English, and you’re young. You can still become a teacher if that’s what you really want.”

“My priorities have changed. Raising and protecting Chloe have become my focus. Thank you for helping me do that.”

“You’re absolutely welcome. This isn’t about
charity
, Mandy. I firmly believe it’s about fate.” He redirected his attention to the icy road. “I’m in love with your daughter. And you may laugh because, according to you, we’re barely more than strangers, but I think I’m also falling in love with you.”

A long silence followed. She saw Jeb swallow several times as if his airway were restricted by tension. She had a feeling he was thinking,
Open mouth, insert boot.
Warmth pooled in her belly, but along with it came a measure of fear. She had grown fond of Jeb. When he touched her, she felt a strong and undeniable physical attraction. But she wasn’t ready to confess her feelings.

Unable to think what to say, she managed, “With all that experience with women under your belt, now you say you’re falling in love with someone you barely know.”

He flashed her a lingering look that made her skin burn. “Damn straight. I’m not all the way into the hole yet. Let’s just say I’m standing over it with one foot inside and the other on a banana peel.” He hesitated. “I’ve never done this before. I’m a virgin. Be gentle with me.”

The old phrase, normally said in reference to a woman, made her smile. “I’ll try.” She joined him in staring straight at the road. Her emotions tumbled within
her like marbles being shaken inside a tin can. “I can’t say it back, Jeb. Please don’t let that hurt you. This whole situation makes me want to run. As far away as possible, in any direction.”

From the corner of her eye, she saw him nod. Relief swept through her because he understood.

“Do me a favor?” he asked.

“What’s that?” Her voice sounded as choked as if strong fingers had clamped over her larynx.

“When you run, run to me. Or at least give me some notice so I can run with you.”

Amanda knew this conversation was crazy, and she stared at the road through a blur of tears. “I’m not going to run. I have nowhere to go and no money to get there.”

He sighed, the sound floating toward her like a caress. “You do have somewhere to go. Straight into my arms. I don’t want to scare you off, Mandy. But I swear on my grandmother’s grave—and I loved her a lot—that I’m not talking about sex. Right now, all I want is to be your friend.”

More silence. Choosing her words carefully, she took a stab at changing the subject. “No one except my parents has ever called me Mandy.”

“Sorry. If it’s special to you, I won’t call you that. It’s just—well, ‘Amanda’ seems so formal to me. I’ve started to call you Mandy a dozen times and bit my tongue. Now that we’re talking,
really
talking on a personal level, it’s just popping out.”

“You have my permission. I like that name. Dad called me that all my life, and I miss it.” Amanda considered Jeb’s name, which she suspected was a shortened version. “What’s your actual first name?”

“Jebediah. I go by Jeb because it’s such a mouthful. My middle name is Paul.”

“Mine’s Marie.”

“Mandy Marie. I like that.”

“Dad called me that when I was being a difficult pain in the ass.”

Jeb chuckled. “I’ll remember that. When I tack on Marie, you’ll know my patience is wearing thin.”

Amanda grinned. “If I call you Jebediah Paul, you’d better duck.”

That brought a bark of laughter from him.

Emotions welled within her, all bewildering. “Thank you for being my friend.”

“You’re very welcome.” He executed another sharp curve. “Now, for the appointment with this lawyer. When you’re in there, facing him, if you start to lose it, remember I’m there beside you. If you need me to intervene, just reach over and squeeze my hand. I’ve been told that this guy has a heart of gold, but he also grills prospective clients. He’s good, really good. That’s why he’s such a jerk when you first meet him. He is way beyond accepting cases he can’t win merely to pad his pockets. Before he decides to take you on, you’ll have to convince him that you have a strong argument and won’t fold in court.”

Amanda tried to imagine facing a cantankerous lawyer.

“He’s older,” Jeb went on. “Close to retirement. He’s already built his career and reputation. I hope you don’t take offense, Mandy, but the truth is, you’re a little timid with men. If you start to feel as if you’re teetering and about to buckle, grab my hand. Okay? I’ll have no problem taking him on.”

Amanda appreciated Jeb’s offer, because she
was
timid
with men. “I’ll squeeze. I promise.” Warmth moved through her again. “I appreciate your offer to go in with me.”

“No worries. I’ll step in if he starts running over you.”

Amanda felt the tension drain from her body. She could do this. With Jeb beside her, she almost believed she could take on Mark and win.

*   *   *

The attorney, Clyde Johnson, was a partner in a large firm with offices in an impressive, even glamorous building. Just as Jeb had described him, he was an older man, stocky in build and gruff of voice, with a down-to-business attitude and an abrasive manner. Amanda was instantly terrified of him.