Simple Man (6 page)

Things were moving so fast he didn’t have time to process the oncoming guilt. “Wait, where is he now? You said he’s in state custody. What exactly does that mean?”

“He’s currently in an age appropriate cottage at an orphanage in Altoona, Pennsylvania where orphans are given temporary housing and care.”

“My nephew’s in a fucking orphanage?” Both women drew back. Shane quickly apologized for his language. “Well, can I go get him?”

“I’m afraid it isn’t that easy. You first need to fill out the required paperwork and have the proper background checks completed. We can expedite things, but then a notary of republic must authenticate your request for guardianship. You’d need to make an appointment with the district court. If everything checks out, you’ll go before a judge, agree to the allotted time, in which a caseworker will be assigned to report on your progress, and then an advocate from Children and Youth will advise you regarding permanent guardianship.”

“Do I have to call him that?”

The women appeared confused. “Shane’s his name.”

“But it’s also my name. You said his middle name’s Logan. That was our father’s name. Can I call him that?”

“I suppose you could call him whatever you want,” Joanne said slowly.

“But will he answer to that?”

The women were frowning again. “Mr. Martin, Shane is nine weeks old. He’s at a developmental stage where he’s just learning to open and close his fist over objects and can barely see beyond a foot in front of him. Have you ever been around babies before?”

He bristled. “Not really. But how hard could it be?”

The women exchanged worried glances. “You’ll be required to take parenting courses. However, due to the urgent nature of the situation and the space issue among the state facilities, the court will likely waive the prerequisite nature of those courses, allowing you to complete them during the time frame in which you already have custody. But might I suggest a few books you could read over the next two days?”

Books? Shane hadn’t read a book since he was in school and even then he was more of a cliff notes kind of guy. “Yeah, I guess some kid books wouldn’t hurt. So, uh, what do you need me to do?”

“Are you willing to apply for custody? This isn’t a simple process, Mr. Martin. Your entire life over the next several months will be under the scrutiny of the state. You’ll have a caseworker who will be assigned to you and act as an advocate for Baby Shane. He or she will be required to report back to the judge on everything that happens between now and your final custody hearing sometime next fall.”

“Well, what other choice do I have? I’m not going to let some stranger raise my nephew.”

Joanne smiled, appearing proud of his decision. “Your sister did say you raised her after your parents passed on.”

“I did. For a few years until she came of age. After that she sort of started doing her own thing.”

“How is it you didn’t know she was pregnant?” Tabitha asked tentatively.

Shane shifted in his seat. “We, uh, sort of had a falling out. Last I knew she was pregnant, but planned on getting an abortion.”

“Well, I’m glad she didn’t. From what I hear, Shane is a joy. The women at the orphanage said he sleeps like an angel and eats like a little piglet.”

He was glad to hear that. From what he could guess, all kids that age did was sleep and eat. He could manage that. It would be cool when it got bigger and they could play sports together.
He
—he corrected. Not an it.
He
.

He grinned at the women. “Where do I sign?”

Around five o’clock, just as the government building was closing down for the weekend, they finished up. Joanne gave Shane a picture of the baby who looked like every other baby he’d ever seen, and a list of reading materials he was supposed to study by Monday.

As he climbed behind the wheel of his truck his face eased into smile for the first time in days. He was getting a piece of his family back. He didn’t have a fucking clue what to expect or what babies needed other than sleep and food, but how hard could it be?

When he pulled into his lot, the roller skate sat outside his trailer. He walked inside and found Duce playing the game station and eating a pizza. “Hey, man, where you been?”

Shane shut off the game.

“Aw, man! I almost had Sims score beat!”

“You’re never beating Sims’s score, Duce. The guy doesn’t have a life for a reason.”

Duce eyed him critically. “You look better. Where’d you go?”

Shane popped a beer and plopped on the couch. “Did you see that woman at the funeral yesterday?”

“The one in the black sedan? Yeah.”

“Well, she said she had something for me, something to do with Noel. You’ll never guess what it was.”

“From the look of your face I’d say it was something good. Did your sister have some money hidden away?”

“Nope.”

“A car? A new ride would be sweet. Your truck’s on its way out.”

“Nope, not a car.”

“What?”

“Prepare yourself.” He waited a beat. “She left me a baby.”

Beer sprayed from his friend’s lips across the table.
“A what?”

“A baby,” Shane repeated.

“Dude, tell me you’re talking about a baby hermit crab or a baby chia pet or something, not a living, breathing, pooping human being.”

“Oh, I forgot about the pooping.”

“Dude, are you fucking nuts? You cannot have a baby!”

“Why not?”

Duce shook his head as if all the reasons were obvious. He held up his hand, a slice of pizza balanced between his thumb and forefinger as he ticked off the reasons. “One, you’re a glorified child yourself, except you can buy beer and get drafted. Two, you know nothing about babies. Three, you know
nothing
about babies! Four, this is a human being you’re talking about. I got you a plant for a housewarming gift and you killed it in a week.”

“Sims killed that plant by using it as an ashtray. No one’s going to put ash on the baby. Come to think of it, there probably shouldn’t be any smoking around the baby at all. Their lungs are all miniature and shit.”

Duce smacked his head. “Oh my God, this is worse than when they found Carlos in
The Hangover
. I can just see it now. You have to give it back!”

Shane smiled and snatched a slice of pizza from the box. “Nope. I’m keeping it. Noel said if anything happened to her she wanted me to raise it.
Him!
Damn it, I have to stop calling it an it.”

The door swung open and Tucker walked in. “What’s up, ladies? I got us some sweet salad greens for tonight.” He held out a fist and a bag of weed miraculously appeared. “Who’s mixing?”

“You see? This is exactly why you can’t have a baby!” Duce yelled.

“Whoa, who’s having a baby?” Tucker asked, his color slightly paling.

“Shane is!”

Tucker’s head tilted quizzically. “You preggers, bro?”

Shane laughed. “Yes. I’m due Monday. I think you guys should throw me one of those parties girls have and buy my son some cool shit. I’m pretty sure he’s gonna want a sweet Powerwheels SUV and some hockey equipment.”

“Okay, now you’re freaking me out, because I’m not sure you’re joking,” Tucker said. He faced Duce. “What the fuck is he talking about?”

“Noel had a baby.”

“What? Like a real baby?”

“Yes, a
real
baby! And Shane here thinks he’s gonna raise it.”

“I am gonna raise it,” Shane said then cursed. “Damn it,
him
! I’m going to raise
him
.”

Tucker wasn’t breathing. He stared at Shane as if he had a dick growing out of his eye. “What?”

He still didn’t move. Duce jumped back in. “Where are you even going to put a baby in this dump?”

Shane frowned. “I’ll put it in the bed.”

“Babies sleep in cribs, genius. My cousin just had a baby. You should see all the crap they require. There are swings and bouncing vibrating things, and cribs, and cradles, and netted box things to trap them in so they don’t run—”

“Dude, you can’t have a baby!” Tucker finally squealed, a petrified expression on his face.

Shane tossed down his crust and grabbed another slice. Standing, he took an exasperated breath. “Why the hell not?”

Tucker shook his head rapidly. “Be serious! You have beer and questionable mayonnaise in your fridge. The other day I killed some bug in your bathroom that was a cross between a tarantula and a pterodactyl. People with kids don’t have shit like that in their homes. They have doilies and Dijon mustard.”

“So I’ll upgrade my condiments and do a little decorating. The only reason I don’t have that sort of shit is because I’ve never needed it before. Having this baby will be good for me. It’ll give me something to stand for.”

“You called it an
it
again,” Duce mumbled under his breath.

“Damn it!
Him
!
He
will give me something to stand for.”

Tucker looked highly concerned. “Why don’t you stand for doing the right thing and let someone who knows what they’re doing raise this kid?”

All joking aside, Shane looked at his friends. “Because he’s mine. He’s my nephew, not some stranger’s. I have no one. I lost my parents. I lost my sister. He’s all I have left. The other day I actually considered drinking drain cleaner because I had nothing to live for. Today I have a purpose. It’s him. He needs me and I need him and I’m going to do whatever I have to do in order to keep him.”

They were quiet for several minutes. When they spoke again it wasn’t in exasperated tones, but in pure curiosity.

“What about chicks?” Tucker asked. “Having a kid around is going to majorly cramp your style.”

Shane shrugged. “He’s gonna be a part of me. If some girl has a problem with that, then she isn’t someone I want in my life. He’ll be like a filter for crappy women. I’ll only let the good ones in. Besides, women dig babies. For all I know he may be a total chick magnet.”

“What about work?” Duce asked. “Who’s gonna watch him when you’re working?”

Fuck, he hadn’t thought about that. Living paycheck to paycheck didn’t really allow for much of a savings. He needed to work. “I don’t know. I’ll figure something out.”

“You know you can’t take him on the job,” Tucker said.

He tossed a piece of pizza crust at him. “No shit, wise ass. Look, I know I don’t really have a clue what I’m doing, but I’ll learn. This is what Noel wanted. I need to do it right. For her.”

Duce sighed. “Jesus, this is like our last Goonie weekend. Everything’s going to change.”

“I need a change,” Shane admitted. “Maybe we all do. Losing Noel was the last straw. I can’t keep letting life slip through my fingers.”

Duce held up his beer. “To Noel. May this tiny part of her grow to be a piece of us all, so we never truly have to say goodbye.”

Shane smiled. His friends were good guys. He held up his beer. “To Noel.”

Tucker joined them. “To Noel.”

Chapter Three

Shane was a master of procrastination. “I gotta call out of work tomorrow,” he told Sims who sat like a relentless addict playing the game station on the floor.

“Yup.”

“Are you even listening to me?”

“Nope.”

Shane sighed and got up. He still had to straighten up his place, go to the library, skim over the books. He looked at his watch—twelve forty-five—he should probably get moving.

“You’re gonna have to go,” he told Sims. “I got shit to do.”

“Aw, man, just do your shit around me. I’m on level eighteen.”

Shane didn’t really care if he stayed, but he knew so long as Sims was sitting around doing nothing, nothing would get done on his part either. He shut off the TV.

“Fuck! Why’d you do that?” It was a rather dramatic response to having a video game shut off, but Shane had been there before. Sadly, he understood.

“Seek help. You’re addicted. I gotta run to the library so you need to leave.”

Sims stood and collected his phone from the table. “Library’s closed on Sunday.”

“What? No, it’s not,” he argued, but feared his friend was right.

“Oh, okay,” Sims said easily, telling Shane he didn’t need to argue because he was certain the library was closed.

Fuck!

“Shit. I gotta get those books about the baby. I’m supposed to read them before tomorrow.”

“You can go to the bookstore.”

“I can’t buy all those books. I already have to miss work tomorrow so I’ll lose a day’s pay. I’m gonna need to buy diapers and stuff.”

“Just read them there. People do it all the time. It’s part of that new liberal-literature-coffee generation thing stores are doing.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” He checked his pockets for everything he needed and picked up his keys.

“Trust me. Go to a bookstore and you’ll see tons of people sitting around reading books and drinking enormous cups of coffee. It’s weird. I think a bunch of hippies are trying to phase out bars with cafes. It’ll never work.”

Their conversation had gone on about twice as long as it should have. “Okay, well, I gotta go. I’ll catch up with you later.” They walked each other outside and got into their separate cars.

The only bookstore Shane knew of was far, so he drove past the library first. Sims was right. It was closed. He was also right about the coffee and books thing. Nobody seemed to have any hang-ups about reading a book that wasn’t paid for, so he found the first book on the list,
What to Expect-Baby’s First Year
.

The book was huge, bigger than the Bible. Shane thumbed through it and saw a bunch of words he didn’t understand. He’d need to read a dictionary alongside it. Within twenty minutes he was completely overwhelmed.

He looked at the back of the book. Twenty bucks! He really didn’t want to buy it, but it seemed like there was a ton of shit to know about babies. The smell of caffeinated drinks and paper was giving him a headache so he took the book to the register.

The cashier rang him up and smiled. “Would you like a gift receipt?”

“No, it’s for me,” he said and slid her his debit card.