Simple Secrets (The Harmony Series 1) (20 page)

“But like your husband said, these kinds of situations don’t just fade away by themselves.” I tried to keep my voice soft and nonthreatening, but there was a sense of fury building inside me. Against Glick and men like him. And against toxic secrets that people hide inside themselves, ruining their lives. Was the church to blame for some of this? Are we too afraid to be honest with each other?

As if reading my mind, Emily said, “Please don’t blame anyone in the church—except Bishop Angstadt. There were many people who cared about me. I alone made the decision to keep this secret. No one forced me to.” Another deep sigh escaped through her lips and shook her thin body. “I realize now that I could have told my parents. They would have believed me. And they would have done something. Maybe the truth would have even stopped Jacob from hurting another young woman. I live every day with the guilt of my decision and wonder how much damage my cowardice caused.”

“This secret has been kept too long, Emily,” I said matter-of-factly.

She smoothed her hand over the apple-green cloth in her lap. “It’s too late now, Gracie. I will not allow Abel and Hannah to be hurt by something that happened so long ago.”

“But don’t you realize that Abel already suspects there is something you haven’t told him? Didn’t you understand that his admonition about buried secrets was directed at you?”

Her head shot up and she stared at me with wide eyes. “No. He’s never said anything...”

“Look, I’m not married, but I’ve watched my mom and dad through the years. They know instinctively when something is bothering the other one. It’s a kind of radar.”

“You know,” she said in a dreamy voice, “after what happened, I made up my mind that I would never marry. The young man I told you about earlier begged me to marry him after Bishop Angstadt died, but I turned him away. I was convinced no man would ever want me—and I would never want another man. But then Abel came to Harmony. There was something about him. He brought out feelings in me I’d never had before. It—it was as if we were meant to be together. Although I rebuffed him at first, I finally realized I couldn’t live without him.”

“Oh Emily,” I said with a smile. “I’ve only known your husband a short time, but if I’ve ever met anyone you could talk to about something like this, it would be Abel. Don’t you know that about him?”

She was silent for a few moments. Then she nodded. “Yes. Yes, he probably is. But I just can’t ruin his image of me.” She turned her head and stared at me, her eyes wide and shiny. “I lost myself a long time ago, Gracie. The only time I feel real is when I see myself through Abel’s eyes. If you take that away from me, I’m afraid I won’t exist anymore.”

“But don’t you know that when God sees you, He only sees His dear and precious daughter? Isn’t the reflection we see in His eyes the true image of who we really are?”

She smiled sadly and patted my hand. “I know in my heart that what you say is true. But my mind is still full of shame and sorrow. I will not allow Jacob Glick to spread his hateful venom to Abel and Hannah. I will not.”

She spoke the last three words carefully and with absolute conviction. I had no response. She obviously blamed herself somehow for the awful thing Glick had done. She needed help—some kind of intervention. But I wasn’t the one to provide it. She needed her husband’s support and counsel. Suddenly, something else she’d said popped into my head.

“You said you were still afraid—even after Glick left town. That doesn’t make sense. If he was gone, why would you still be afraid of him? He couldn’t hurt you anymore.”

Emily pushed her hair back again, tucking it under her cap. She straightened her back and closed her eyes. In a voice so soft I could barely hear her, she said, “That’s easy to answer. There was a new evil in Harmony. Something we’d never experienced before. I could feel a dark cloud hanging over the town. Our first murder. Our first murderer. I had no way of knowing if Jacob Glick would be the only victim.”

I sat silently on the bed while Emily got up and looked out the window. “Abel is showing off his roses,” she said in a monotone. “He’s so proud of them.”

I finally overcame my shock enough to speak. “Emily ... you know that Jacob Glick is dead?”

She came over and stood in front of me, her hands folded tightly together as if she didn’t know what to do with them. “I didn’t see him die, nor have I ever heard anyone else admit it.”

“Th–then how...”

She sighed, picked up the material for my dress, and sat down next to me. “I really do need to take some measurements. You look to be about Hannah’s size. Of course, you’re much more womanly than she is.”

I grabbed her arm. “Emily, how do you know Jacob Glick is dead?”

She smiled sadly. “A few days before he ... disappeared, I overheard him talking to Bishop Angstadt. They were in the hardware store, looking for new door latches. I was in the next aisle. Mama needed a pot to replace the one I’d accidentally scorched, and I’d found some on the bottom shelf. I was crouched down, looking them over. That’s why they didn’t see me.”

“What does this have to do with Glick’s death?”

She reached over and patted my hand. “Don’t worry, Gracie. I’m getting there.” She smoothed the dress material with her hand. “Jacob knew something about the bishop—something he wanted to keep quiet. I’m certain it’s the reason Jacob was free to do almost anything he wanted without fear of retribution. It’s also why I was afraid Bishop Angstadt wouldn’t help me if I went to him about what Jacob did to me.” She shook her head. “I have no idea what it was. Neither one of them mentioned details. They simply referred to it as the bishop’s ‘secret.’ Bishop Angstadt was clearly frightened. When Jacob demanded that he find him a wife, the bishop mentioned three women he might be able to deliver as marriage candidates, because he believed he had some kind of influence over them or their families.”

“Who were they?”

“Kendra McBroom, the daughter of one of the church’s elders. Her parents thought the sun rose and set on Bishop Angstadt.”

“Who else?”

An odd look crossed her face. “Are you sure you want to know?”

“Yes. Tell me, please. It’s important.”

“Beverly Fischer.”

She said the name so matter-of-factly, for a moment it didn’t register. “My—my mother?”

She nodded.

I felt my throat go dry. This wasn’t welcome news. It gave my father a motive for murder. If he’d found out that Angstadt planned to auction off the woman he loved to a lowlife like Glick, he would have gone ballistic. At least now I knew what their fight was about. Then something occurred to me. “My grandparents would never have allowed it.”

She shrugged. “Bishop Angstadt acted as if he could convince them. Of course, he might have simply been trying to placate Jacob. I don’t know.”

I almost laughed. At one time, Marvin Fischer may have allowed the bishop too much influence into his life. But if he’d tried to touch his daughter, Angstadt would have seen another side to my grandfather. When his family was threatened, Grandpa Fischer was like a pit bull with a bad attitude. “You said there were three women?”

“Yes. The last was a young woman who was trying to run her family’s farm single-handedly. Her mother was dead and her father an invalid. Even though several people in the community had tried to help her, no one believed she could possibly succeed. Bishop Angstadt thought she would marry Jacob if she were offered enough cash to help run the farm and pay for an operation that might restore her father’s health. Jacob seemed pretty happy about that idea. I think he was interested in this young woman above the others. He insisted that the bishop approach her. Of course, this meant the bishop would be out a great deal of money. I’m sure the prospect didn’t appeal to him.”

“But where would Angstadt get that much money? I can’t imagine a Mennonite minister being paid enough to handle something like that.”

Emily shrugged. “There were a lot of things about the bishop that didn’t make sense. I overheard my father telling my mother that some property had been signed over to the church when someone in the community died. The proceeds were supposed to go to restoring the church building. But as far as I know, it never turned up. It’s possible Bishop Angstadt intended to use that money for Jacob’s bride. It’s also possible that’s what Jacob had on him. But that’s only conjecture. Gossip wasn’t acceptable in our community—especially when it was about our leadership.” She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I don’t believe in gossip either, but if there had been more honesty in the church, a lot of bad things might have been averted.”

I nodded my agreement, but my mind was still working on Angstadt’s agreement with Glick. Actually, blackmail gave the old Mennonite bishop a pretty good reason for wanting Glick dead. Although I had my doubts that Angstadt would go that far beyond his faith, I began to understand that my father was only part of a long list of people who’d wanted Jacob Glick removed from their lives. A thought struck me that made me go cold inside. “Emily, who was the third woman?” Even though I knew the answer before she said it, I was still shocked when she spoke the name out loud.

“Myrtle Goodrich. Sam’s aunt.”

I stared at her while I tried to sort this information out in my mind. Sweetie? Had Angstadt actually approached her? Was Sweetie involved in his death? I had to shelve these thoughts for now. I couldn’t deal with them and concentrate on my final questions for Emily.

“Let’s get back to how you know Glick is dead,” I said.

She shrugged, her face expressionless. “I wasn’t absolutely certain until today. But I suspected it because Jacob had Bishop Angstadt in his pocket and the bishop was preparing to give him the one thing he wanted more than anything in the world. There’s no way he’d leave Harmony right before his dreams of companionship came true.” She sighed and shook her head. “So many people hated Jacob. It didn’t take much to figure out he’d finally been dealt with. After a few months, I began to believe that whoever killed him had no intention of hurting anyone else. They’d killed Jacob for a reason, and now that he was gone, they had no need to hurt anyone else. I was very young, and the idea of one human being murdering another was very frightening. I guess my fear came from the suspicion that a murderer lived in Harmony.” She shivered involuntarily. “It still bothers me. It’s like finding a spot on your favorite dress that won’t come out. Eventually you learn to live with it, but you don’t like it. Harmony is ... well, it’s not a place where murder ... belongs.” She frowned at me. “Does that make sense?”

I nodded. “Actually, I think I understand exactly what you mean.”

The sound of voices drifted down the hall. Emily paled. “Stand up and let me measure you.”

I stood to my feet while she took a tape measure out of her pocket. She held it up to my neck and measured to the end of my shoulder. Then she wrote the figure down on a small pad of paper on the dresser. Next she wrapped the tape around my chest.

“Emily, did you ever tell anyone about your suspicions?”

Her eyes flew toward the bedroom door. “Shhh. No, never. After Jacob disappeared I felt nothing but intense relief. Not just for me, but for any other girl he might have hurt. I decided to leave well enough alone.”

After writing down my chest measurements, she measured from my shoulder to my bustline and then from my shoulder to my waist. While she worked, I thought about the information she’d given me. I wasn’t sure how much it helped, but at least it had opened up some new possibilities. Emily tugged on the tape measure she’d wrapped around my waist.

“Thank you for being honest with me,” I said. “Hopefully, it will lead me to the truth.”

She pulled the measuring tape to just below my knee, and then she stood up and stared at me, her features tight with emotion. “What I told you today is in confidence, Gracie. If at all possible, you must keep it to yourself.”

“Sam is aware of the situation, and I trust him, Emily. What you overheard between Glick and Angstadt is very important and could help us immensely. I need to tell him about that, but I won’t reveal anything personal about your ... situation. Can you accept that?”

She studied my face for a moment. “I—I suppose so.” She grabbed my arm. “But if at some point you feel you must bring me into whatever you’re doing, will you come to me first? My husband deserves to know the truth before anyone else in Harmony.”

I reached out and took her hands in mine. “Okay, but I sure wish he’d heard this from you before I did. Please—please, consider telling him everything you shared with me. I suspect keeping these secrets has cost you dearly. Isn’t it time Jacob Glick stopped interfering in your life?”

A small groan rose from somewhere deep inside her. “I understand what you’re saying, Gracie. I really do. But I’m so afraid. I love my life. What if the truth ruins it?”

“Jesus said that the truth would set you free, didn’t He?”

“Yes. Maybe you’re right, I don’t know. But it must be my decision.” She carefully put the tape measure back in her pocket and picked up the pad of paper, which she placed on top of the material. “I’ll begin working on your dress tomorrow. It will be so pretty with your lovely auburn hair.”

“Thank you.” I turned to open the bedroom door. “Everyone will be wondering what happened to us.”

“Wait a minute,” she said. I stopped with my hand on the doorknob. “I’ve told you what you wanted to know. Are you going to tell me why it’s so important to you? And how you’ve discovered that Jacob Glick is dead?”

I hesitated. “Not yet. But as soon as I can...”

“It’s okay,” she said, wrapping her arms around herself in a hug. “Believe me, I know what it’s like to be forced to keep secrets.”

The sorrow on her face touched me. “Why don’t we pray that God will bring us both to a place of freedom, Emily? A place where we won’t have to keep secrets anymore.”

She hugged herself a little tighter. “I’ve lived with this so long...”

“Too long, I think.” I took a deep breath and pushed the door open. “Ready?”