Sin for Love (19 page)

“I left you plenty of ass. I mean sass,” I teased.  It felt good to laugh again, even if it was just for a moment.  As soon as that thought came into my mind, all the other ones that reminded me of why I hadn’t been laughing flooded back with it.  Wanting to take my mind off of it, I said, “How did you meet this George guy anyway, Alayna? Are you sure about going to this?”

“Oh hell no, Tessa Rain Donahue. You are not backing out on me now!” she demanded. “I met him at work, he came in to get fitted for a suit, and we started talking.  He’s really nice, but he seemed a bit sad, like there was a part of him that was missing.”  She paused for a minute, frowning while she remembered the sad man before continuing. “He told me about the ball and then asked if I had any plans for Halloween, and when I told him I’d be passing out candy and Mom and Dad’s house, he invited me to the ball.  He said that all princesses deserved to go to balls.”

Trying to lighten my own mood, I said, “Alayna, can you please say balls one more time?”

“Balls!” she shouted and we both laughed again.

“Reese”

“Good afternoon, Frank.  Thank you for agreeing to have lunch with me today,” I said while I shook the man’s hand, his strong grip telling me that I had been reduced to needing to get in some hand exercise time.

“You can thank Mary. She told me I had to.  I’m not a dumb man. I know who wears the pants in my relationship.” He sat down at the table, picked up the menu, and said, “You know you’re paying right?”  He sure didn’t beat around the bush.

“Yes, sir, I am.” In more ways than one, I added silently to myself.

We ordered lunch, Frank making sure his was the most expensive option on the menu.  Then he turned to me and said, “I don’t know what happened between Tessa and you, Reese, and frankly, it isn’t my business.  What is my business is that my little girl is hurting, and by my count, you are at strike number two right now.  I’m not really sure why you asked me to meet you for lunch, but here I am.  Let’s cut the shit. What is it that you’re after, Reese?”

I took in a deep breath. There were only two answers he could give.  Knowing that either one would change my life forever, I said, “I need your help Frank.”

“Tessa”

Alayna set up appointments for us to have a relaxing day at the spa before the ball.  We spent the day being primped, pampered, plucked, and buffed until we shined.  Then we took a trip to the salon where our hair was curled, our nails painted, and our makeup artfully applied.  Alayna had gone for the full up-do with her deep auburn hair piled high on her head, held up with a sparkling tiara.  I preferred my hair down, so the stylist created a cascade of loose curls that went down my back.  She then attached crystals throughout my curls that complemented the crystals on my mask.  The makeup artist created a smoky eye look that would blend into my mask and added just a bit of pink gloss to my lips.

We went back to my apartment and helped each other into our dresses.  We were ready for the carriage, also known as a taxi cab, to take us to the ball.  When we stepped outside, expecting to find the cab we had called for, we were shocked when we saw a limo parked in front of my building.

The driver stepped over to us. “Princesses”—he tipped his funny hat, walked to the limo and opened the door—“the ball awaits you,” he said as he held his hand out, motioning for us to get in.

Alayna and I looked at each other and at the same time said, “Did you do this?” shook our heads, and then both yelled, “Jinx!” before sliding into the limo.  

A short ride later, we pulled up in front of the McCune Mansion and the driver jumped out to open the door for us.  It was fall now, and the sun had set hours ago.  Darkness had taken over.  All across the rolling lawn of the mansion were lights that looked like they had been frozen in ice giving off a soft glow that warmed the world around them.  Alayna and I made sure our masks were securely in place, and following the line of other guests, we began climbing the steps that would take us to the entrance of the mansion that looked more like a castle.

“We really are princesses,” Alayna whispered.

“At least for tonight we are. Tomorrow we turn back into pumpkins,” I replied.

We made it through the entrance and checked the shawls that had been protecting our bare shoulders from the cold wind outside.  We stepped into the grand ballroom and it was like walking into a fantasy world.  There were arched passageways lining all four walls.  The room was dark, flashes of colored lights casting deep shadows.  Occasionally, when a bright white strobe light would flash, I could see the DJ on a stage at the far end of the room.  An intoxicating song was drowning out all other sounds.  The open floor was filled with masked couples twirling and spinning in dance.  Behind the arched passageways, I could see outlines of masked people gathered into groups, some laughing, some on the verge of argument, and some gathered closely in hushed conversations.  The women were in gowns of every tone and color, and the men were dressed in tuxedos, some even wearing top hats.

 I had just finished my second glass of champagne when Alayna’s arm on my wrist caught my attention away from the mystic splendor of the room. “Tessa, you need to take this.  It is how you will know who you are supposed to dance with next.”  I opened my card to find that all of the dance slots had been filled.  There were only last names as I read the card.

Mr. Pumpkin

Mr. Navy

Mr. Canary

Mr. Aquamarine

Mr. Shamrock

Mr. Scarlet

Mr. Royal

How odd. They are all names of colors.  Maybe that was also to keep up the mystery of not knowing your partner.

I slipped the card into the small pocket that was sewn into the waist of my dress as the first man approached me.  “Hello, princess. May I have this dance?” he asked with a bow.

“Mr. Pumpkin, I presume. Nice to meet you,” I said with a small curtsy.

Like the other gentlemen, he was wearing a black tuxedo, but his mask was a bit different. It was still the simple black that the other men seemed to favor, but when I looked closer, I could see that it was stitched with orange thread.

He reached for my hand as the music started back up and he took my waist as he glided me around the room.  The dance was a quick tempo that made me a little dizzy and didn’t give me a chance to get a good look at the face beneath his mask.  He pulled me closer and the scent of his cologne brought the vise clamping back on my heart. He smelled just like Reese.

The song quickly ended and I was again alone standing under one of the pillars.  A fresh glass of champagne in my hand, I began to feel a strong buzz from the sweet alcohol.

Just as the next song started, another man approached me, asking for a dance, I thought he was the same man until I noticed that his mask was lined with dark blue stitching instead of orange.  This song was an even faster tempo, keeping me from even attempting to make conversation.  As he pulled away at the end of the dance, Mr. Navy’s hand caressed my lower back in the way that Reese used to, causing the vise to take another turn.

Before I could excuse myself, Mr. Canary had pulled me in for a slow dance, pressing himself against me like a lover in the night. I gave in to the temptation that had been rising in my heart, giving me permission to remove the vise for one night, to pretend that these men were Reese.  As long as they didn’t speak too much, I could keep the charade going in my head, knowing that no one could match the intoxicating tone of his voice.

The switching of the dances and the men became a blur, and my mind was drunk on the dream that Reese was here with me.  Mr. Aquamarine swept me off my feet in a scintillating dance that sent my thighs shaking and my toes tingling.  I was in the middle of my dance with Mr. Shamrock when I swear I felt his lips lightly touch my neck the way Reese used to, causing my panties to become wet.  When Mr. Scarlet twirled me around faster than my sluggish feet could move, all I could do was wrap my arms around his neck and hold on.

I knew I only had one more name left on my dance card, one more dance where I could pretend and be free of the vise that was squeezing on my heart.  And then, just like Cinderella, reality would come crashing down on me and the fucking fairytale would be over.  The sharp sounds of the remix of Promises by Nero and Skrillex started to flood my senses, making my body start to sway on its own.  I saw him walking toward me from the other side of the dance floor—Mr. Royal.

The fairytale would be over soon. I could only hope that my mind would survive the night.  As he walked toward me, his eyes caught mine, and they were a blue that I had sworn to never forget.  When he reached me, he leaned in so close that we were almost touching. Then his head dipped to my ear and he said, “Princess, may I have your last dance?”

I was momentarily stunned when he spoke. It was Reese’s voice.  I must have had more champagne than I’d thought.  I nodded, so he swept me up in his arms and began slowly turning me around the dance floor, his hand moving to my lower back, pulling me close to him.  The pulsating beat of the song was an argument to how slowly we were moving.

My senses were overwhelmed. Reese was all around me. I could smell his cologne and feel his hands on me, and I was looking into his deep blue eyes as we danced.

He pulled me in close and once again lowered his mouth to my ear. “Princess, have you enjoyed your other dances tonight?”

“Yes,” I said. “But this one is my favorite.”

“And why is that, princess?” he asked, his arms holding me even tighter.

“You remind me of someone who will always be in my heart and I will never forget.”

“I’m sure you are on his mind as well, princess, for you could not be so easily forgotten.  Where is this man of yours?”

Normally I would never answer such a personal question if asked by a stranger, but here in my fairytale, I was safe; nothing could hurt me.  “He made me fall in love with him, and then he tore my world apart,” I told him honestly, wishing it could be the real Reese who was hearing my words.

Mr. Royal swallowed loudly. “Do you still love him?” he asked, spinning faster and twirling me around in time to the music.  I knew the song was going to end soon and my last chance to say the words I should have said to Reese that day to this stranger would vanish with the last note.

“Yes, Mr. Royal. I still love him,” I admitted just as the song ended.

Mr. Royal grabbed my hand and spun me out and then back into him, pulling me down into a low dip.  Holding me there, he was hovering above me.  He reached up with his free hand and slipped the mask off of his face.  I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. It was like a dream come true.  Looking back at me was Reese.

“I still love you too,” he declared before capturing my lips with his, taking my breath away.

His kiss brought life back into me, the movement of his lips against mine a sweet agony.  He pulled me back up to stand next to him.

As I stared into his eyes, tears started to fill mine. “How did you know I was going to be here?” I asked.

We were standing in the middle of the now silent dance floor, and all of the other couples had cleared away from the floor to stand in a circle around us.  One by one, they began to take off their masks, and as I looked around, I recognized the faces of people I knew.  Myles and Sam, Raegan, Jessica, Marcus and Bruno from San Diego, Emily and Kurt. Then I saw Alayna take off her mask as my parents standing next to her did the same.  I was completely surrounded by the loving faces of our friends and family, standing in the middle of them in the arms of the only man I had ever loved.  The man who had broken my heart.  The man who had just said that he still loved me back.  I was overcome with emotion as tears continued to well up in my eyes and my hands began to shake.

“Did everyone know you were here?” I asked in a whisper only loud enough for Reese to hear.

“Yes. They all wanted to be here for this,” he whispered back.

“For what?”

Reese cleared his throat and began speaking loud enough for everyone to hear. “Tessa, we walked through most of the seven deadly sins together.  We felt the pain of gluttony, overcame the pull of lust, avoided the pinch of greed, beat the lure of sloth, found understanding over envy.  Together.  We did all of that together.  We could have survived the heat of wrath, but then my pride got in the way. It kept us apart when we should be together.  I’m here today to swallow my pride and beg for your forgiveness.”  He moved closer and his voice dropped to a whisper. “I’m lost without you, Tessa.  I am not me without you.  I’m here to tell you that you are my soul mate and I love you.”

Tears were streaming down my cheeks now.  Even with Reese standing before me, I thought that this couldn’t possibly be real.  Fucking fairytales weren’t real—at least not the way Disney told them.  The real ones are full of blood and heartbreak.  Rejection, betrayal, and pain were real.  Commitment, trust, and acceptance were the cruel lies that society tells little girls, lies that they say will come true if you act like a princess.  This act that requires girls to put aside their true selves and strive to achieve the picture-perfect image that is splashed all over the media.  I’d learned a long time ago that it was easier to survive without emotions, to just turn them off.  The good ones didn’t last long enough to make up for the anguish of the bad ones.  That was why I’d closed myself off from the risk of the lie they call love.  Why I had convinced myself that I would never have a happily ever after.

Reese’s hand wiped the tears from my cheek and I flinched back from his touch.  “I can’t do this, Reese,” I whispered before I gathered the fabric of my dress in my hands and turned to run away, like Cinderella just before the stroke of midnight.

I was outside and had made it halfway down the stairs when Reese caught up with me.  I felt his hand wrap around my arm, and his gentle but firm grip stopped my retreat, my feet skidding to a stop on the wet pavement.  The rain that had been pouring down while we were inside had reduced to a slow drizzle.  Drops of rain were mixing with the tears that I couldn’t stop.