Sinful Resurrection (CSA Case Files 2) (6 page)

“Jax, it wasn’t baseless fear,” Emily said, needing him to understand they’d made the right decision.  She took her hand out of her pocket and wrapped her gloved fingers around his wrist.  “I would have been dead within the week had I done what you’re suggesting.  But I want back what we had.  Is that what you need to hear?  I want a chance to see what would have happened to us had we been given the time to cultivate our relationship.”

“It’s not what I want to hear, Emily.”  Jax dropped his hand, forcing her to do the same.  “I want the fucking truth.”

Emily opened her mouth to tell him that she was afraid that if she did that, she’d lose him forever.  It didn’t help that Schulz had basically forbid her to do so, not that she worked for him.  Instead, she remained silent as Jax walked away and continued his path across the growing grass beneath their feet.  Couldn’t he see how torturous this was for her?  She was so afraid that he would walk away and leave her alone.

“The truth is this,” Emily called out, grateful when he stopped.  Jax didn’t turn around, but at least she had his attention.  “I did what I had to do to be with you again.  Now I’m in a situation where not even Schultz can keep me safe, but I have no doubt that you will.  That’s how much I trust you.”

Jax turned his head to the side, although he still didn’t face her.  As if nature was trying to tell her that he was her sole reason for being there, the clouds parted and permitted a lone ray of sun to shine down upon him.  The birds squawked overhead, heedless of the tremulous situation below.  The wind had picked up, blowing the fresh green leaves on the trees and carried his words back to her.  They were like tiny darts hitting their target as her heart was struck with each one.

“Trust is just an illusion, Emily.”

Chapter Six

“It’s taken you long enough,” Jax said, speaking into the encrypted mobile that he and Connor kept for emergencies.  He’d finally been able to get a full charge on it and would no longer need the burner phones. Walking through the living room where Emily was sitting on the couch, he didn’t bother to look her way as he made his way into the monitor room before shutting the door.  He wished it were that easy to close out the emotions that she was stirring up.  “It’s been two days.  I need intel on whether I need to move her again.”

“What the hell, man,” Connor replied in anger.  The echo surrounding his voice meant that he was in a stairwell.  Was it that of the building where their offices were located
or was Connor someplace else?  Jax could picture his Cuban friend pacing back and forth, rubbing a hand down his face in frustration.  “Crest gave me the SITREP.  Emily Weiss?  I leave for one week to take Lauren to meet my father and you get yourself involved in a fucking ‘back from the dead’ soap opera.  She’s a zombie.  You can’t continue to date them after they become zombies.”

“Fuck you.  This wasn’t what I had planned either.”  Jax ignored Connor’s barb
at trying to lighten up the situation and pulled the rolling desk chair over with his foot, sinking into the worn black leather.  He rested an elbow on the matching arm and ran a hand through his hair.  “Connor, there’s more to the story than what any of us are being told.”

“No shit, jackass.  I should have realized what was going on back then, but you can spill your guts when we meet up.  Right now, you need to tighten your shit up and take notes.”

Jax leaned forward, placing his elbows on his knees.  The tenor of Connor’s voice indicated that they would be seeing each other soon, putting him on high alert.  It had taken almost a year to put backup plans in place for their safety.  Working the government contract jobs that they did, enemies were easily made.  This house and land were purchased with cash and deeded to a corporation that had long ago gone defunct.  It sat on the outskirts of Cloquet, where no one really noticed it, as it was set so far back off of a lone back road.  Maintenance was taken care of on a cash basis where no names were exchanged.  Jax had a feeling his safety net was about to be yanked out from under him.

“What’s the radius looking like?” Jax asked, referring to the search that was undoubtedly taking place.

“There is none,” Connor replied in a low voice, setting off that alarm Jax had been waiting for.  “Crest has quietly backed off the search for you and Emily.  He knows you’re keeping her safe.  The team is looking toward me for guidance, as they know Crest was placed in a bad situation in returning some favor to Jessalyn.  Speaking of which, that guy left for DC, although he’s under the assumption that all is flowing true like the fucking Mississippi River.”

“If we’re in the clear right now,” Jax said, looking up at the monitors to view the area, “why am I getting the feeling that you’re about to tell me to hightail it out of here?”

“Because you’d be right,” Connor replied, his tone as serious as Jax has ever heard it.  “The Attorney General was killed in a car accident this morning.  It’s just now hitting the news outlets.”

“Fuck me.”

“I figure you have a few days window before whoever would go to these lengths picks up whatever measly thread we may have left when we bought that safe house.”

“Alekseev,” Jax responded, knowing Connor wouldn’t l
et that bit of information faze him.  They’d faced worse men in their past…this was just one of many, regardless that he was involved with the United Nations.  “The Secretary-General is covering his tracks and from what Emily’s told me, so is a member of the Security Council.  A man by the name of Vadim Batkin.  If either one gets wind that Jessalyn is the one who was aiding Emily all along, he’ll be next…followed by Emily.”

“Which is why I’m waiting for Crest to gather more intelligence before taking action on our part.
It’s obvious the minute the Attorney General started confirming the evidence Emily handed over, it alerted Alekseev that she was still alive.  He’s now eliminating the threats and will be coming after her.  Either that or this flunky you’re talking about.  We both know that he won’t get his hands dirty, which means he’ll hire an independent contractor.”

“Give me time to get things together on my end
,” Jax said, “before you clear out.” 

* * * *

Emily placed her empty bowl in the sink.  They’d warmed up canned soup for dinner, although Jax hadn’t joined her at the table.  He’d stood at the kitchen counter, eating his meal and looking over several maps that were now spread over the granite.  It was as if she didn’t exist and that cut her to the bone.  She wanted…needed…to be a part of his life again.  Or else this was all for naught. 

“Who is Elle?”

The question obviously startled him, although whether it was because the silence was disturbed or the subject matter, she wasn’t sure.  Emily tried not to feel the sting of jealousy that whipped through her, knowing that she had no right to experience it.  But the name had weighed on her since Kevin had mentioned the woman.

“She’s the manager of a club that Connor and I own.” 

The spoon clanked against the ceramic bowl.  Emily leaned her hip against the small island that he was using as a desk. Jax shifted and placed the empty dish on the counter behind him.  He then returned to studying the maps, as if his answer was good enough.  It should have been, but it only fueled her to ask more.

“What kind of club?” Emily asked, already suspecting the answer, but wanting to hear it from him.

Jax sighed in resignation as he stepped back and leaned against the sink.  He crossed his arms in the usual manner and the white shirt that he was wearing stretched across his broad chest.  As usual, his shoulder holster cut into the material on either side of his thickly muscled chest. 

“That’s a pretty naïve question, considering you know the lifestyle I enjoy.”  Jax let his gaze roam over her body and Emily instantly felt the slack taken up on the trigger that only he could pull.  A low hum seemed to originate from deep
within her.  “It’s a kink club revolving around BDSM.  A case that we were working on caused the owner to go belly-up, so I figure since I play there most weekends anyway, why not salvage what’s left and keep a sane, safe, and consensual place for fellow lifestyle friends to enjoy.”

Emily couldn’t prevent her hands from fisting and crossed her arms to hide them from his view.  She didn’t want him to know how much it bothered her that while she had been sacrificing everything these last two years, he’d been surround
ing himself with submissive women.  He was making it more than obvious that her
death
hadn’t affected his life.  Their reunion had not been what she’d hoped it would be.  He seemed angry more than anything else that she’d come out of hiding and inconvenienced his life.  She needed to change the subject before she revealed too much.  What was the old adage?  Never ask a question when you’re not prepared for the answer.

“I heard at the office the other day that Connor had met someone,” Emily said, hoping to take advantage of the fact that he was talking.  She didn’t want to know anymore about his club, but didn’t want to sever this connection.  “I never thought he would
settle down.”

“Lauren’s good for him,” Jax replied.  He was now studying her, as if he knew exactly what she was doing.  Emily glanced toward the door, thinking maybe she better retreat when he continued, keeping her glued to his story.  “She was involved in the same case that allowed us to purchase the club.  Lauren modifies BDSM implements by adorning them with precious gems.  Her occupation had her in the wrong place and wrong time, setting her in the sights of an unbalanced man who was intent on killing her.  Connor fell for her pretty hard.”

“I take it you brought down this unbalanced man?” Emily asked, wanting to know the outcome.

“As a matter of fact, I did indeed.
  Connor had the kill shot.  He’s dead.”  Jax seemed too relaxed, which should have alerted her that this conversation was about to take a turn.  As it was, he caught her off guard.  “Why don’t you just ask the question, Emily?  Unlike what you have done, I’ll give you an honest answer.” 

Emily refused to believe that he could read her so well after
all these years apart, but the heat in his hazel eyes was telling her a different story.  She scrambled to think of a question that had nothing to do with his private life, but was coming up blank.  It was time to seek refuge in the living room and leave him to his maps.  As she uncrossed her arms and took a step forward, Jax closed the distance and blocked her way.  His heat enveloped her and the capacity of her lungs seemed nonexistent.  It didn’t surprise her that her body still responded to his, but she hadn’t expected it to be so hard in hiding it…or that she’d even have to.

“Go ahead, Emily,” Jax murmured, the golden streaks of his eyes practically sparking.  “Ask me.”

“Who you scene with or have sex with is obviously not my concern anymore.  You’ve made that more than plain.  Just so we’re on the record, I didn’t expect you to wait for me…something you thought would never happen.”  Emily swallowed and knew that he’d seen the nervous gesture.  Too bad, because technically he was well aware that jealousy was raging through her veins.  It was the hurt in her heart she was most afraid to reveal.  At this juncture, she couldn’t allow herself to be vulnerable.  “But I don’t need to stand here and listen to how many women you’ve fucked.  I’ll leave you to looking over your maps.  Should you like to enlighten me on Connor’s earlier call and whatever information he might have had, I’ll be in the living room.”

Emily managed to slip by him without touching, which was a feat considering the small amount of space between him and the sink.  Her hands were trembling and she almost wished she hadn’t spoken at all.  These past two days had passed by in relative silence, but at least the te
nsion hadn’t been so taut.  Now it felt as if they were back in Crest’s office, when Jax first discovered she’d come out of hiding.

Walking across the room to the window, she pulled the curtains back.  Dusk had fallen and cast shadows on the front lawn.  Emily didn’t know what else to call it, but the large open area in the front was surrounded by trees, with the except
ion of the gravel drive.  Again it made her wonder who kept up the maintenance of the grounds.

“Don’t stand in front of the window.  You’re backlit by the kitchen light.”

Emily turned to see Jax standing in the doorway, his fingers looped on the front pockets of his jeans.  There still seemed to be an aura of excitement surrounding him, making her wary.  It was as if she’d given him a glimpse inside of herself that he didn’t want to return. Trying to ignore it and concentrate on the conversation, she hoped that their tremulous rapport would continue on until she formulated her next step.  She refused to give up on what they had.

“Why?” Emily asked, doing what he said and letting the curtain drop.  “We went outside a couple of days ago.”

“Things have changed,” Jax said with a shrug, seemingly unwilling to reveal information. 

“I take it Connor did share something with you,” Emily said, taking a few steps toward the plaid couch, which was now in between them.  “Don’t you think I should know what’s going on?  Maybe I can shed some insight.”

“I think we’ve established that until I feel you’ve come clean with me, I’m running this as a solo operation.”

Jax’s words slammed into her, although he probably had no idea how hard.  This was her life and she had the right to know every nuance of this operation.  Emily knew that he was baiting for her, probably thinking if he kept taunting her that she would eventually cave and give him all the facts.  She couldn’t.

“Fine,” Emily stated, calling his bluff.  She tried to ignore the fact that she was being a hypocrite.  “But don’t expect me to feel bad if whatever it is that you’re keeping from me results in collateral damage.”

“I will find out what it is that
you
are withholding from me,” Jax warned, flashing the smile that she remembered, though it wasn’t good-natured.  Déjà vu reared its ugly head and she was taken back to that week they’d spent together.  “God help you if it’s something that I can forgive, because if it is, you’ll be too close at hand to avoid your punishment.  Maybe it’s best for both of us if I never find out.”