Single Girl Abroad (Mills & Boon M&B) (Mills & Boon Special Releases) (10 page)

A secretary answered, asked for his name, and put him on hold. Not an auspicious start.

But Maddy came on the line next and if her words weren’t exactly welcoming, at least she deigned to speak with him.

‘You’re here in Singapore?’ she said.

‘Yeah.’

‘In one piece?’

‘More or less.’

‘Define less,’ she said cautiously.

‘Boy, are you suspicious.’

‘I prefer to call it smart.’

‘I caught a nick to my shoulder,’ he offered. ‘Nothing to worry about. I just won’t be doing push-ups for a while.’

‘Really. What else won’t you be doing?’

‘I’ve yet to find out.’ Luke walked out of the dojo and kept on walking. ‘Come out with me,’ he said quietly, keeping the need out of his voice, he managed that much, but it was there in the way he gripped his phone and the set of his shoulders.

Madeline hesitated.

Luke felt the world stop.

‘Tell me something,’ she said a little too steadily for comfort. ‘How do you usually take your leave of a woman who’s shared your bed? Do you just head off on a job in
the middle of the night and never come back? Or do you do her the courtesy of phoning her at some stage to say, hey, I’m out of here but it was fun while it lasted? Or even, hey, I’m heading out but I hope to come back and if I do I’ll call you?’

Luke winced. He stopped to lean back against a shopfront wall. ‘Okay, so I should have called,’ he said gruffly. ‘But I shipped out in the early hours of the morning and I didn’t want to call you then. I tried calling you from Lahore but couldn’t get through. After that, there was no calling you at all.’

Silence met his words.

‘Talk to me, Maddy,’ he said raggedly.

‘I thought watching you head out on a job would be tough because I’d worry for your safety, and that was part of it, sure enough,’ she said. ‘But the bit I couldn’t cope with at all was not knowing where you and I stood. Whether we were done, or not done. Whether you even planned on returning to Singapore. I can’t do that kind of casual, Luke. Not for anyone. It cuts at too many childhood demons. No one ever tells you anything in the foster-care system. You go where you’re sent, you start to relax, you start to think that maybe these people are beginning to care for you, just a little. And then one day you wake up and someone wants you gone. No explanations. Nothing. It’s as if you’d never existed in the first place.’

‘Oh, hell, Maddy. I didn’t mean—’

‘No. You listen to me and you listen good. It took the unconditional love of a good and kind man before I realised any self-worth whatsoever. It took me years to acquire and I did it one painful step at a time. It took the
lack of one early morning phone call from you to shoot a great gaping hole in it. That’s something I have to consider when you ring up out of the blue and ask me if I want to see you again. The truth is, I don’t know, and it’s not just about whether I think I can cope with the demands of your work this time. It’s about whether my sense of self-worth is robust enough to dance with you.’

‘I’m not gone,’ he said, with fear clawing its way up his spine at the thought that she might well be. ‘I’m right here. I can’t promise I’ll always know where we stand, but I can promise to tell you what I do know. I can also be more forthcoming about my movements.’ He closed his eyes and let the fatigue he’d thought he’d conquered wash over him. ‘I can’t fix your reservations about the work I do, Maddy, but I can fix this.’

‘Luke—’

‘Dance with me.’ He could hear the hesitation in her voice. He wanted it gone. ‘Come to dinner with me.’

More silence from Madeline’s end. Tense silence. ‘I’ve an afternoon full of meetings and I really don’t feel like going out tonight,’ she said finally.

Hollowness hit Luke hard.

‘So here’s what I’m offering. Yun’s cooking, a quiet night in on my turf, and no promises when it comes to dancing with you. I’m offering you a truce,’ she murmured. ‘And it’s more than you deserve.’

‘I accept your offer of truce,’ he said. And set about planning for war.

Seven p.m. saw Yun opening the door to Luke with a narrow-eyed glare and a harrumph for good measure. Preparing
for war meant wearing clothes he was comfortable in. Clothes Maddy might conceivably want to peel him out of. Well-worn jeans and a button-up shirt he could get out of fast without damaging the shoulder the nurse had put in a sling—the sling he’d worn for half a day and then promptly taken off. A visual reminder of how dangerous his work was definitely wasn’t part of this evening’s war plan.

A show of strength, a concession offered, and a reminder of the many other benefits of being in his company
was
.

Yun studied him, her gaze lingering on the arm that had already started to ache in the absence of immobility and support. Her own arms stayed firmly crossed. Maybe he held his arm too still and too stiffly, maybe Yun had X-ray vision, but Yun’s gaze zeroed in on the exact place the bullet had pierced his skin and refused to budge.

‘Tigers should know better than to be seen,’ she proclaimed grimly.

‘Is Madeline in?’ he enquired.

‘Yes.’

Nobody moved.

‘Can you use fork?’ asked Yun.

‘Yes.’ He was left-handed. His right shoulder had taken the hit. ‘I can still use a fork.’

‘You could use wrapping for your arm too,’ she said. ‘But do I see you wearing one? No.’ A questioning tilt of finely pencilled eyebrows accompanied her next words. ‘I can of course make you one.’

‘If you do, could you make it to go?’ he said with more
than a touch of desperation. ‘What say you just sling it over the door handle here and I pick it up on my way out?’

‘Why? You think my Madeline won’t take one look at you and
know
that you’re in pain? She has eyes.’

‘Yes, but let’s try
not
to draw her attention to that small insignificant detail tonight, okay?’

‘Certainly,’ said Yun. ‘I see your plan and applaud it. You’re trying to draw Madeline’s attention to your stupidity instead. This should work well.’

Not quite what he had in mind. ‘She’s in the living room?’

‘The small living room. Through the main living room, out through the corridor on the other side, and two doors down on your left. Would you like me to draw you a map?’

‘Only if it’ll stop you from making a sling. Oh, and here. I picked this up on the way over.’ Luke dug in his pocket and withdrew a small plastic sachet containing a selection of mysterious Chinese herbs, spices, and other oddments that probably didn’t bear thinking about too closely—everything ground to a very fine powder. ‘It’s for you. For sweetness. I’m not sure what you’re supposed to
do
with it, mind, but the pharmacist swears it’ll work.’

Yun took it from him, the tips of her fingers touching the tiniest tip of one corner of the sachet. ‘Amateur,’ she muttered.

‘Have a little faith,’ he said as he fished the accompanying business card from his pocket. ‘It says here that this particular pharmaceutical company has been in service to three emperors, two foreign queens, and a sultana.’

‘And all of them dead.’ Yun took the card from him,
looked at it, and snorted. ‘Would you like me to tell you what it really says?’ she enquired ever so sweetly.

‘Not sure I need to know. But I’m really glad it’s working.’

Smiling, Luke went in search of Madeline. He’d worry about Yun’s retaliation—and there
would
be retaliation—later.

Madeline’s small living room had just as many bells and whistles as her large one. Massive television screen, state-of-the-art hi-fi and DVD equipment, fabulous furnishings, and eclectic style. Moneyed comfort and elegant sophistication. Madeline’s preference. Always.

Easy to enjoy. Not so easy to provide. He didn’t need to provide it, Maddy had it already and therein lay one of his dilemmas when it came to being with this woman. The burying of ego and the knowledge that if he did want a more permanent relationship with her then he was going to have to come to terms with stepping into her world as opposed to bringing her into his.

On a superficial level, slotting into Maddy’s life and lifestyle wouldn’t be difficult for him. He could base anywhere, because his work took him everywhere. Singapore was a transport hub. He even had family here.

On a deeper level, if he based here he would need his own place. Belongings that were his, paid for by him, and if they weren’t as luxurious as the ones that surrounded him now so be it. Maybe he and his place and Madeline and her wealth could somehow piece together comfortably for all concerned.

Madeline turned towards him at the sound of his footfall. She looked comfortable and carefree, her delectable
body clad in faded jeans and a dove-grey T-shirt, her honey-streaked hair caught up in a loose ponytail. He wanted to reach for her, as if it were his right only he knew it wasn’t so he stayed his hand and looked his fill instead.

‘Greetings, warrior,’ she said wryly. ‘It’s good to see you. Alive.’

Direct hit and best glossed over. ‘You’re looking very fine too.’

‘Thank you.’ He thought he saw the hint of a blush colour her cheeks as she turned away and reached for the television remote and flicked through the channels. He ached to loosen her hair and run his fingers through it, bury his face in it, before claiming her lips with his own. He’d done all that and more during the afternoon they’d spent at the hotel but that was then and this was now. Foolish to think that they could simply pick up where they’d left off with no adjustments, no matter how much he wanted to. The world simply didn’t work that way.

‘Your brother called,’ said Madeline next.

‘What did he want?’

‘To tell me to either send you home early or keep you overnight. He seems to think you’re a little knocked around.’ She turned her head and surveyed him critically from top to toe. ‘I think he’s right.’

‘Maddy, not you too,’ said Luke quietly. ‘Between Jake and Po today, I’ve had just about all the mothering I can take.’

‘Poor baby. Then again you will go and get yourself shot …’

So much for keeping that little titbit to himself.

Yun shuffled into the room bearing a silver tray upon which sat a crystal tumbler of amber liquid that he really hoped was Scotch. The diminutive housekeeper halted beside Luke’s elbow and eyed him sternly.

‘If this is your idea of informal I’d hate to be here on a regular night,’ he told her.

‘Drink,’ said Yun.

‘What is it?’ Too many twigs in it for it to be Scotch. Return fire came fast around here.

‘Good for you,’ said Yun. ‘Drink.’

Luke liberated the glass from the tray in the hope that Yun would then go away. She didn’t. He looked to Maddy for support.

‘Drink,’ said Maddy.

‘You first,’ he said, holding out the glass to her.

‘What? You think I’m trying to poison you?’ Madeline took the glass from his hand and sipped. ‘Jake told me about your sister’s funeral vase experience, by the way. Fascinating.’

Luke retrieved the glass and downed the contents. Swallow, swallow, crunch and swallow. So his imagination had led him ever so slightly astray. It wasn’t as if he’d ever really
believed
it.

Yun left. Madeline smirked.

Luke figured that as long as he was being tarred with the stupid brush he might as well go all out to deserve the coating. ‘May I ask a delicate question?’

‘If you must.’

Luke eyed the various surfaces and ledges in the room. ‘Where’s William?’

‘In the family crypt at the cemetery. Where else would he be?’

‘Oh, I don’t know …’ murmured Luke. He could have sworn Yun had just fed him a bird’s nest. ‘Here?’

‘How
do
you keep that imagination of yours in check?’ she asked.

‘Practice.’

The food came out. Yun set it out, smorgasbord-style along a sideboard. A lot of food for two people, unless Maddy had an appetite he didn’t know about or another half a dozen people were coming to dinner. ‘You’re expecting more company?’ he queried.

Madeline followed his gaze and a smirk crossed her lips. ‘No.’

‘Eating for three?’

‘Let’s hope not,’ she murmured, ‘for I really can’t see that fitting in with your plans or mine any time soon.’

‘How about in the somewhat distant future?’ he said. ‘Would children factor into your plans then?’

‘I really haven’t thought about it.’

‘Did they factor into your plans with William?’

‘No,’ she said after a moment’s hesitation. ‘And it wasn’t because of William’s age or because I didn’t care for him enough to go down that road. William was sterile. He was quite resigned to life without progeny. As for me, I figured if any latent maternal instincts did kick in I could help existing unwanted children towards a better life instead.’

‘So … they did kick in,’ said Luke carefully. ‘Your maternal instincts.’

Madeline smiled. ‘Stand easy, warrior. I’ve no plans to trap you into fatherhood. You’re not a good bet.’

He knew he wasn’t, not with the lifestyle he currently led, but her casual dismissal of his potential to be a good father at some stage stung nonetheless. Luke turned his attention to the food and tried to put the notion that Madeline thought him a bad fatherhood bet behind him. She was right. The way his life was structured now didn’t encourage strong ties of any kind.

The question now being how much was he prepared to change that lifestyle in order to accommodate the formation of such ties?

Not fatherhood ties. Not that. But other less alarming ties. Still strong, mind. Just not the superglue variety. ‘I’ve been thinking about what you said on the phone,’ he said. ‘About what you need from a relationship and what I can supply. I have a few ideas.’

She looked wary. Vulnerable. He knew the feeling.

‘I had it in mind to answer any questions you might want to ask me about my work,’ he offered. ‘I figure the more you know, the less likely you’ll be to worry for my safety.’

Maddy’s eyes cut to his shoulder. ‘Why do I get the feeling that this is a concession you don’t often make?’

‘Because you’re smart?’ Fact was, he’d never made such a concession before. He’d never talked about his work to anyone, and that included his brothers. He rubbed his neck with his good hand to cover his sudden nervousness.