Single Girl Abroad (Mills & Boon M&B) (Mills & Boon Special Releases) (23 page)

‘Maybe you could take him out somewhere,’ suggested Luke. ‘Get him out of here for a while.’

‘But … is that wise?’ Tiny worry lines had appeared on Jianne’s brow and between her eyes as she stared at him with exactly the mixture of guilt and concerned
something
that Luke had mentioned earlier. ‘I mean, what if Zhi Fu tries to have you killed? Again?’

‘I’m sorry,’ he said in as pleasant a voice as he could muster. ‘I thought you came here to fight, not to hide.’

‘He’s a little testy today,’ murmured Luke, shooting Jianne an apologetic glance.

‘You think?’ she replied, but her chin had come up and her eyes now held less worry and a lot more heat. Jake figured it for an improvement. ‘All right, warrior,’ she said coolly, in a princess voice that could have commanded an army. ‘Where would you like to go?’

‘How about a land far far away? I hear Tahiti’s nice,’ said Luke, and ducked his head to hide his grin when both Jake
and
Jianne stared him down. ‘Just a suggestion.’

‘How about a walk along the waterside?’ said Jake. ‘Maybe a meal somewhere afterwards.’ Life as usual and to hell with Zhi Fu and his obsessions.

‘Good choice,’ said Luke. ‘Instantly achievable.’

‘When would you like to go?’ asked Jianne steadily.

‘Soon,’ said Luke. ‘Just a suggestion.’

‘I can be ready soon,’ said Jianne, and picked up her belongings and swept through the door without a backward glance.

This time, Luke wisely kept his mouth shut.

Jake wheeled the Ducati out into the dojo foyer while Jianne got ready to go. He ran a quick safety check, never mind that the bike had been under lock and key in the front storeroom since last he’d used it. Zhi Fu’s fault for making him so wary and he cursed the man afresh for his obsession with Jianne and for making her so worried for the safety of the people around her.

She never said anything, of course. Or hadn’t, until now.

But he’d wake through the night and she wouldn’t be sleeping, she’d be sitting in his reading chair with her knees to her chest and her arms wrapped around her legs, watching him, watching over him with a fear in her eyes that cut into him like a blade. And then she’d smile and say she’d been reading, and he’d coax her back to bed and make her worries disappear.

For a while.

When Jianne came back downstairs, she was wearing a pale blue sundress. She’d taken her hair down from its bun and plaited it loosely down her back. Practical for when on the bike and just one more example of the concessions she needed to make when it came to dojo living and Jake’s preferred mode of transport. He didn’t mind cars and he wouldn’t have minded owning one, but car storage was a problem here in Singapore and so too was parking. Want one or not, he had nowhere to keep a car so Jianne would just have to get used to taking her hair down and tying it back whenever they went out on the bike.

She hadn’t complained so why the hell should it bother him?

It didn’t. Wouldn’t. No point obsessing over the things he couldn’t give Jianne. The list was too long.

He handed her a helmet. ‘You might want to hang on. We’ll be heading out fast.’ Zhi Fu’s watcher was still in place, according to Po. They’d not get away without being seen, but he could make damn sure they weren’t followed. Within moments of Po opening the dojo’s entrance doors wide, they were half a block away and heading for the city centre.

When he was sure that no one had followed them he headed west to where the majority of the tourists weren’t. To a part of the coast where the restaurants relied on the quality of their food and efficient friendly service to bring customers back.

By the time they’d arrived at one of his favourite seafood restaurants, fresh air and the burn on the bike had improved Jacob’s mood considerably. By the time they’d been seated at a little table with cheap red candles and a paper tablecloth and their drink orders delivered and their food orders taken he was feeling positively relaxed. He liked living in Singapore—liked the access to different cultures it provided him, not just the vast array of food types to choose from, but the different atmospheres as well.

Jianne liked Singapore too; he could see it in her eyes and in her manner. She was comfortable here, even when they went downmarket she looked at ease. Comfortable in a way she’d never been in Sydney.

‘Will you answer a question for me?’ he asked quietly.

‘Maybe.’ Never the straight road with Jianne. Always the enigma.

‘Why did you leave me?’

Not a question Jianne wanted to answer, he could see
it in her eyes, in the way her hands went to her lap and stilled.

‘It wasn’t just our differences when it came to money, was it?’ he said when it seemed as if she was going to remain silent for ever.

‘No,’ she said at last, her eyes guarded and sombre. ‘It didn’t help that I had money and wanted to use it and that you wouldn’t accept it,’ she said wryly. ‘But it’s not what finally drove me to leave.’

‘Was it the culture shock?’

‘Partly.’ Jianne nodded. ‘That was definitely part of it.’ A sad little smile curved her rosebud lips. ‘Nothing was familiar. I couldn’t run a household. I couldn’t recognise social cues. I couldn’t
help
you the way I wanted to. The way I should have been able to.’ She took a deep breath and let it out with a sigh. ‘I didn’t fit in. I failed you, and in doing so I became just one more responsibility you should never have had to bear. Even now with this business with Zhi—I’m still a burden to you. Still looking to you for guidance and protection. Some things just never change.’ She looked down at the table and plucked at the chopsticks sitting there. ‘At least this time I can function within the community. That’s something, right?’

‘Jianne, you’re not a burden to me. And you’re not a failure. Not then, and certainly not now. This mess with Zhi Fu—it’s not a situation
anyone
could handle alone.’

‘Thanks,’ she murmured without looking up. ‘But I shouldn’t have dragged you into it.’

‘Who else, if not me?’ he said gently.

‘That’s the problem, isn’t it?’ she said raggedly and favoured him with a brief and rueful smile.

‘Was it the family disapproval?’ he said next. ‘Was that why you left?’

‘You’ve never really spent any time with my parents, have you?’ she said. ‘They’re not bad people. They just … they’ve always had plans for me, you see. Marriage to a wealthy Shanghai boy and then a life spent in service to the family dynasty—
that
was the plan they had in mind for me. I doubt I’d have followed such a plan anyway, even without meeting you, but my family hadn’t realised that yet. They looked at you and saw only rebellion. They counted up all the things that didn’t fit and called our marriage a mistake. They didn’t see the love in it. Only the problems I’d taken on. They wanted me to leave you and when I wouldn’t, they disowned me.’

‘You never told me.’

‘No.’ She smiled sadly. ‘I never did. I tried not to think about them but what I didn’t realise was how isolated I would feel without my family behind me. How dependent on you I’d become for emotional support. It wasn’t healthy. Jealousy fed on me whenever you turned your time and attention elsewhere. And there was always someone or something else.’

‘You could have told me,’ he said gruffly. ‘I could have done more. Supported you more.’

‘You were one man, Jacob. Hardly grown, with siblings to care for, dreams of a world title to pursue, and a wife who wanted more of you than you
ever
could have given. You want to know why I left you? It wasn’t because I didn’t love you. I left before I destroyed your relationship with your siblings and your chance at a world title just so I could have more of you for myself. I left because I wanted
what was best for you and it wasn’t me. I left because I wanted what was best for
me
, and I knew that if I stayed I’d come to despise myself. Any more questions?’

‘No.’ How did a man even begin to unravel all that? ‘No more questions.’

She picked up her wine glass and drained it in one long swallow. Good idea. Excellent idea. Right up there with his newfound philosophy on letting go of the past and not asking any more stupid
stupid
questions about where they’d gone wrong.

‘More wine?’ he asked politely.

‘Does oblivion follow?’ she murmured.

‘Only if you want it to,’ he said. ‘Or we could try leaving the past where it belongs and sticking strictly to the present. I’m all for it.’

‘Is this the present where I stormed into your calm and peaceful life, demanded that you protect me, house me, bed me, and now my unwanted suitor’s trying to kill you?’ she said.

‘That’s the one.’ And he didn’t have a lot to say about it that wouldn’t touch on dark deeds and even darker needs. ‘Although I’m thinking we should probably focus on the moment rather than the big-picture view. So … more wine?’

‘Please.’ He filled her glass and she set slender manicured fingers to its stem. ‘Do you ever think about the future?’ she asked quietly. ‘About what you want from it?’

‘Yeah,’ he muttered. Nothing like staring death in the face to clarify what it was he wanted most from life. ‘Lately I do.’

A note from Luke sat on the kitchen table when they returned to the dojo. Luke and Po would be staying overnight at Maddy’s. The dojo was empty but for Jake and Jianne.

Jianne looked down at the note, dark eyed and sombre. Distant.

He couldn’t have that.

‘You know what I missed most about you?’ he asked as he set his fingers beneath her chin and tilted her head until her gaze met his. Gentle because his aches and bruises demanded it. Gentle because his feelings for this remarkable woman demanded no less. ‘The calmness you wrapped around me when we were together. It was as if we stood in the eye of the storm while all around us chaos reigned. My brothers and Hallie, they were a lot of work, more than a lot sometimes, and I know I didn’t always get the balance right between what they needed and what you deserved. You always let us put our needs before yours, and you never complained, not once, and we never realised until it was too late how thoughtless we’d been.’

Jianne looked as if she’d rather be anywhere else right now than here with him but Jake wasn’t finished yet and he did not release her gaze. ‘I was their rock, you said, and maybe I was, but you were
my
rock, and things got a lot worse after you left. For all of us.’ He took a deep breath. ‘I’m sorry I neglected you. I wish things had worked out differently. Jianne, if there was one thing about your memory of our past that I could change it’d be your belief that you were a burden to me. That you weren’t of any help to the family
you
were burdened with. You did help. More than you’ll ever know.’

Jianne’s eyes filled with tears. ‘Can we just … have an early night and go to bed?’

‘Separately?’ he said and waited with his heart in his throat for her reply.

‘No.’ She buried her face in his chest and he held her, just held her, one frantic heartbeat to another. ‘Together.’

‘He has to go,’ Jake told a half-listening Luke three days later.

‘Who?’ said Luke.

‘Zhi Fu. I can’t live like this. Forever wondering when he’ll strike next. Jianne can’t live like this—she won’t stop worrying about
who
he’ll strike next. Zhi Fu needs to go, then Jianne needs to go and then I need to go and get her back. That’s the new plan.’

‘Right,’ said Luke slowly. ‘Any chance of you explaining the latter part of your new plan in somewhat more detail?’

‘I’d rather concentrate on the first part of the plan for now,’ said Jake grimly. ‘The part where Zhi Fu gives up on ever winning Jianne and goes back to Shanghai. Preferably without arranging my demise first.’

‘People are working on it,’ said Luke. ‘Maddy says Bruce Yi’s been busy. She says Zhi Fu’s not finding Singapore’s business world as welcoming of him as he thought it would be. He’s losing face and he’s losing money. The plan is that he’ll eventually lose the will to stay.’

‘I like everything about that plan except the time frame,’ said Jake.

‘It also doesn’t address any murderous impulses Zhi Fu might possess,’ added Luke, grim-faced and hard-eyed.

‘The man can have as many murderous impulses as he
likes.’ Jake reached for the coffee tin and spooned some into a mug. ‘As long as he doesn’t act on them.’

‘And how do we stop him from doing that?’ said Luke.

‘The hell if I know,’ muttered Jake. ‘I can’t even stop
my
murderous impulses, let alone his.’

‘That was self-defence,’ said Luke. ‘You didn’t start it.’

‘No, but if you and Po hadn’t been there I’d have finished it. I don’t think that’s something to be proud of, do you? I think it’s something to fear. Inside me.’ Too much coffee, not enough exercise. The combination was making him twitchy again.

‘Everyone’s capable of killing,’ said Luke. ‘First thing you learn in the armed forces. It’s the one thing you can always count on. Up close and personal or at a distance with the giving of an order; all anyone ever needs to become a killer is the right motivation. People kill for causes they believe in, or because it’s kill or be killed, or they kill to protect their loved ones. Those are the motivations of the righteous. Then there’s the killing for fun or for profit. Not so righteous, those reasons. Then there’s killing for revenge, and motivation there can be all sorts of grey. I’ve thought about this a lot.’

Jake stared at his brother, his coffee forgotten.

‘More than a lot,’ said Luke, looking uncommonly wary, ‘so if you want to discuss the moral ambiguities of murder, massacre and war, I’m your man. What exactly do you think I think about when I’m waiting to diffuse a bomb or disarm a missile?’

‘Living?’ said Jake. ‘Staying alive? The
job
you’re about to do? I’m thinking that might be a really good approach to take.’

‘All right, yes, I think about those things too. I go to considerable lengths to stay alive—never doubt it. My point is that most people go through life without ever discovering exactly what it is they’d kill for. For you that question came up and, like it or not, you got your answer. You’d kill to stay alive and you’d kill to protect the people you love, and if that gives you nightmares, well, that’s enlightenment for you. Always a two-faced bastard.’