Sinnerman (22 page)

“Check your OCD at the door,” Maddie said. “You’re in my lab now, and I don’t need you making a mess of my tools.”

“Do you see how you have them arranged on here? I don’t know how you find anything.”

Maddie grabbed a random tool and angled it at me.

“Everything’s just the way I like it, so back off sister.”

“What have you found out so far?”

Maddie walked over to both women and stood between them.

“This one here with the S carved into her wrist went first and fast. He choked her out and then strangled her. I didn’t find any signs of a struggle, and she had no lacerations anywhere else on her body. It was like he picked her up, sedated and killed her in a hurry and then moved on to the next one.”

She turned to the second victim and said, “This one wasn’t so lucky.”

“I’m afraid to ask.”

“He took more time with her, and she was killed in a style similar to the other women. She had three lacerations on her left leg, and see this impression right under her upper arm?”

I nodded.

“It’s the shape and size of a thumb print, and it looks like he pressed it into her for some reason—hard.”

Maddie looked at both girls.

“There is one difference between these women and the others. Their hair is lighter than all the other vic’s.”

“That’s the first thing I noticed,” I said. “Maybe it was quantity and not quality he was after this time.”

“Both girls have been identified, and it turns out they knew each other. They were best friends.”

Sam Reids hovered over his shelves and admired the recent additions to his trophies on the second row. There was something about the hands that mesmerized him more than the fingers he’d collected, and every now and then he swore they actually swayed in their liquid coffins and waved at him.

He wondered what Sloane thought of the note he left at the crime scene and if she cringed when she saw it. By now the anger and denial he had over the five finger discount she’d done on his notebook had subsided and was replaced with a sense of relief and acceptance—something he never thought possible. He arched his back and folded his arms and imagined Sloane in a quiet room with nothing but his words to keep her company. Now she would understand him like no one ever had, and their relationship would be forever changed.

Sam’s favorite song blared through the speakers of his Bose iPod dock. He hummed the soft melody and leaned back and allowed himself to return to a previous time in his life, where he found himself alone in a stark white room with Laurel. He was five and she was—well, significantly older. How much so Sam didn’t know at the time. He just knew she looked like a mom, even though she didn’t act like one. Laurel knelt down next to him and her soft hair fell in his face. It smelled like he’d dipped his hand in a jar of honey.

“What’s this song called, Mommy?” Sam said.

“Sinnerman.”

Sam didn’t know what that meant.

“Who’s the singer?”

“Nina Simone.”

He liked the name Nina but didn’t care much for Simone.

“Why does he have two first names?”

“Not he silly, she.”

Sam thought Nina didn’t sound like a woman at all. Her voice was low and rough, like a man’s.

“What’s it about?” he said.

Laurel knelt down and extended her right hand and pulled her fingers back toward herself. “Come here,” she said to Sam. “You want to hear a story?”

Sam nodded. Laurel never told him stories. It made him feel special. He walked over and knelt by her side.

“When Nina Simone was little, she used to go to church with her mamma, who was a Methodist,” Laurel said.

“What’s a Messosist?”

Laurel placed a finger in the middle of Sam’s lips. “Shhh,” she said. “Do you want to hear the story or not?”

He nodded.

“Well then, shush now.”

Laurel continued.

“Nina’s mamma was a minister at that church, and they used to sing this song to help sway people into confessing their sins.”

Sam was confused. He didn’t know what confess meant, but he knew if he asked, he might never hear the rest of the story.

“When Nina grew up, she became a famous singer, and she remembered this song and decided to sing it for the whole world to hear. Do you want to know what I think the song means?”

Sam nodded and pulled closer to his mother and clung to her every word.

“There was a man and his name was Sinnerman, and he spent his life running around doing bad things until one day he woke up and realized what he’d done and he was ashamed. He didn’t like who he was anymore and all he wanted to do was to run and hide. So he went out and tried to find a place where he could shield himself from the rest of the world, and he looked for someone to take him in. Only, no one wanted him. They’d all heard about this man called Sinnerman, and they thought he was up to no good. So they shut him out, and with no place to go, he sought out the Lord. But the Lord had seen all the things Sinnerman had done and he told him he couldn’t stay. He said there was only one place for him, and he pointed Sinnerman in the direction that he must go.”

“Where?”

“He was sent to live with the devil.”

The song ended and Sam snapped back to life. He didn’t like to think about Laurel or the life he used to have. His past had wasted away and any emotions he had corroded along with it. Whether he lived or died mattered little to him now. He preferred life, of course, but he also knew one day it would all come to an end, and if that was what needed to happen—so be it.

A female voice from the other room cried out in terror, and Sam rose from his chair and looked at the clock on the wall. The drugs had worn off. He didn’t like it when they talked. It made them seem so real, so human. He preferred them quiet. He grabbed a knife from the counter, walked to the room she was in and closed the door behind him.

Agent Luciana and the chief sat on the corner of Kearns and Main in a parking lot of a place that used to be hailed the best restaurant in town.

“Where’s Giovanni?” Agent Luciana said when I drove up.

“Busy,” I said. “What have you found out?”

“The handwriting in the notebook is a match to the Sinnerman letters,” the chief said. “Almost exact even though I assume he wrote those journal entries years ago, but he hasn’t changed much over the years.”

“You’re sure?”

Agent Luciana nodded. “Without a doubt.”

“And the prints?”

The chief shook his head.

“We only found yours.”

“How’s that possible?”

He shrugged his shoulders and said, “Don’t know, but it had been wiped down.”

“Now what?” I said. “Am I the only one who feels like we take two steps forward and three steps back?”

“We’ve come a long way since I arrived,” Agent Luciana said. “We’re close, I can feel it. Pops and grandma are on their way in for questioning, and I’ve got my team on standby. Once they’re out of the house, we’ll sweep the whole thing.”

I thought about his grandmother and how it would affect her when she found out.

“I have a request.”

The chief rolled his eyes.

“Why am I not surprised?” he said.

“I’d like to talk with the grandmother for a moment before you guys get started.”

“Not a good idea,” Agent Luciana said.

“Look, I’ve already spoken to her once, and believe me when I say the news of her grandson being a killer isn’t going to be easy for her to take. It would be better coming from me, and then you can take over and ask her all the questions you want. It won’t get you anywhere, but if that’s the way you want to go—it’s not like I can stop you.”

“We’ll go easy on her. It’s not necessary for you to be there,” Agent Luciana said.

The inside of my body felt like it was in a tepid room and someone had just cranked up the heat as high as it would go.

“Neither of you would be where you are on this case if it wasn’t for me; maybe you both should take that into consideration. If anyone can get through to her it’s me. So let’s not sit here and waste more time going round and round with this.”

Breathe Sloane, breathe, I told myself. Count to fifty if you have to, but don’t lose it!

Agent Luciana turned to the chief who threw his hands up. I’d won.

***

“Sloane, I don’t understand what this is all about—why have they called us here?”

I sat in the chair opposite Sinnerman’s grandmother and just looked at her for a moment. Now that we were face to face, all of the sudden I didn’t want to be the one to tell her any longer. I wanted to be anywhere but in that room at that moment. But I’d asked for this, and they were watching. There was no other choice, I had to do it.

I took one of her hands and wrapped my fingers around it. “It’s about your grandson,” I said.

Her eyes lit up like she’d just screwed a shiny new light bulb into a dim-lit light.

“What—have they located him at last? Please tell me you’ve found him. But if we’re here, it must be something bad. Oh no, is he’s dead?” She retracted her hand from mine and thrust both of them toward her face and flicked her head back and forth. “Please tell me he’s not dead.”

“I believe he’s alive and well,” I said.

Or alive anyway—well wasn’t the best choice of word for someone with his degree of instability.

She pulled her hands from her face and relaxed a little.

“Thank goodness. And I’m sure we owe it all to you. Tell me where he is—can we see him?”

“I don’t know where he is,” I said.

“What do you mean? I thought—”

“It’s so hard for me to tell you this, but I wanted you to hear it from me.”

“I can see it in your face,” she said, “and in your eyes. Something’s wrong. What is it?”

“That day I was at your house, I took something from Samuel’s room.”

“What—why?”

“There was a notebook he’d kept wedged between the bed and the dresser, and I wanted to read it.”

“You should have said something.”

We were way past all that now. I leaned in closer.

“The writing in the book matched up with some of the notes your grandson sent me.”

“There’s something you aren’t saying,” she said. “I can feel it in these old tired bones of mine. What is it?”

“How much do you know about the Sinnerman murders?”

“You mean the person responsible for the lives of all those women?”

I nodded.

“I just know what I’ve read in the papers,” she said, “or saw on the news.”

“We have a lead on a suspect and believe we know who he is.”

“That’s great, but why are you telling me all this, dear?”

I took a deep breath. Slow and steady, you can do this.

“The man, Sinnerman—he’s your grandson.”

Her eyes glazed over liked she’d just won the lottery, only to find out when she arrived to claim her millions she hadn’t scratched that last number off right and that winning number six on her ticket was actually an eight.

She spoke, but not to me—to the air around her.

“This can’t be, not my Samuel, surely they’re mistaken. He’s a good boy. He’s had his problems like every other boy, but this? No, I don’t believe it. Not a word of it. You’re wrong, you have to be.”

“Please, I know this is a lot to take in, but I wouldn’t have ever told you this if I wasn’t sure. And believe me when I say I’m sorry.” I placed my hand on her wrist. “I’m so sorry.”

She was silent for a time during which her face changed from a soft pink to dull and ashen, like the life had been sucked out of her.

“When you were at my house, you said you thought my grandson knew your sister—that he was the last person to see her alive,” she said.

“That’s right.”

“How did she die?”

It was the question I hoped she wouldn’t ask, but she had every right to know the answer.

“I’m sure this has been hard on you. I don’t want to make it worse.”

“You can’t say that to an old woman,” she said. “Not after all this.”

“Alright then. My sister was murdered. She was the last woman killed in the first series of attacks a few years ago.”

“And you believe my grandson did it?”

Up until now I’d looked her in the eye, faced her, and told her the truth. I thought about the pain I’d already caused, and I couldn’t do it any longer. My eyes were so filled with liquid I couldn’t see her properly if I tried. I looked away and nodded.

A few seconds went by and we both remained silent. I felt her hand slip from mine, and when I turned to look at her, I noticed her eyes weren’t open anymore and she’d slumped down in her chair. I reached over and felt for a pulse—it wasn’t there. I raced to the door but Coop had already witnessed the commotion through the mirrored glass, and he flung the door open. He looked at the woman and then to me and said, “Way to go, Sloane. Nice job.”

Samuel’s grandmother was transported to the hospital. She’d suffered a heart attack but was expected to get through it. The fact that I was responsible was too much for me. I needed to get out, to breathe. I put on my Band of Horses playlist on my iPod which Maddie called my “sad music” even though I disagreed, and drove to the one place I felt a connection to family.

The cemetery was quiet as usual with all its residents engaged in their eternal sleep. Some of the stones cast shadows on the grass around them. I found Gabby’s grave and positioned my body in front of it and sat down. I grasped both sides of her headstone with my hands and buried my head in the center of it and opened my mouth and let the words flow out of me.

I wish I could talk to you, Gabby—even if for a single moment. I wonder if you’re alive somewhere, living in peace in some type of afterlife, and if you’re happy. I’ve spent the last few years thinking only of you, and I don’t think I can do it anymore. I haven’t felt like myself in such a long time, and I need to move on, live my own life. I know that now. But what I don’t comprehend is how I’m supposed to do that. Here’s my promise to you: I’m going to find Samuel Reids, the person who did this to you, and then I’m going to start my life all over again. You’ll always reside in my heart, and I won’t let a day go by that I won’t think of you. But it’s time for me to let you go and for you to do the same, and maybe that way both of us can find a sense of peace.