Sins from Her Past (Scandalous) (11 page)

“Fair enough. Does Dylan know what you’re battling?”

Her eyes closed as she shook her head. “He can never know what I’ve sacrificed. Ever.”

When she opened her eyes, the fear was gone and in its place was determination. Her chin tilted, the muscle ticced in her jaw.

The wall of defense was up and he wasn’t going to get any further. But with every question she answered, he had two more.

What the hell had she sacrificed?

“Hope you’re hungry,” he told her, changing the subject and finally seeing that relaxing of her shoulders. “I ordered a lot.”

“When don’t you,” she joked. “Maybe you haven’t noticed that I need to eat less and not more.”

He pulled out her chair and shoved her into it. “Shut up. I don’t want to hear bullshit like that again.”

“You’re a grouch.”

He took his own seat. “When I hear nonsense like that, yeah, it tends to make me grouchy. Who the hell told you that you needed to lose weight?”

“My doctor, the mirror.”

He glared at her across the table. “Your doctor is an ass and if you want to know the truth, look in the mirror with me. I’ll tell you exactly what I see.”

She rolled her eyes. “You’re horny. Your opinion is skewed.”

Vin couldn’t help the burst of laughter that ripped through him at her blunt observation. “Okay, I agree that you do something to me, so yeah, I’m horny. But I’ve also got eyes and I can see you perfectly fine.”

She muttered something about needing glasses and reached for the salad dressing. He let the topic of her weight fade and focused on the resort.

“I’m thinking of heading to Key West,” he told her. “There are some amazing little cozy places there that I’d like you to see.”

She eased back in her seat, eying him across the table. “Is this how you normally work? I know you fly all over, but doesn’t that get tiresome? Couldn’t you just, I don’t know, call someone or use email?”

He shrugged. “If I want to see something or research something I prefer to do so in person. Is there a problem?”

“Not really, but I have to say you’re really spoiling me for my next client.”

He grinned. “Spoiling you is a great idea, but we’re traveling for business.”

“Believe me, everything you’ve done since taking me on is spoiling me.” She sighed and patted her stomach. “I am so stuffed. That was amazing. Usually hotel food isn’t that great.”

“But it should be,” he told her. “Every part of the experience should be satisfying.”

She smiled. “You know, most businessmen care about the almighty dollar. But you care about the person.”

He shrugged, not wanting her to think he was some softy when it came to work. “If the patron isn’t happy, they won’t come back. You have to cater to the people, not to whether or not you’ll make more money than the previous fiscal year.”

Evelyn groaned and came to her feet. “Please, don’t start with the business talk. That crap makes my eye twitch.”

“You’re in business for yourself,” he reminded her while standing. “These are things you’ll have to deal with in time.”

“My business isn’t near on the scale yours is. You’re a millionaire and I’m, well, not anywhere close.”

He laughed. “Maybe not, but you could be.”

“No, thanks. I want to be successful, but I want to be happy and comfortable, and I want to be able to keep control over my business.”

He studied her, noting that this was not the first time she’d mentioned being in control.

“That’s most important to you, isn’t it?” he asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

Cocking her head to the side and pursing her brows, she asked. “What?”

“Control.”

She turned to the living area and took a seat on the couch. “It’s everything,” she told him, looking up to meet his gaze. “I have to be in control.”

He remained where he was, not wanting to do anything to bring the fear back to her eyes.

“Everything circles back around, doesn’t it?” he asked softly.

She nodded. “You have no idea.”

“Does every decision hinge on your past?” He moved and took a seat in a wingback chair next to the sofa. “Do you have to be in control with everything?”

“Pretty much.”

“Is that why you’re so reserved?”

She smiled. “Is that a nice way of saying I’m uptight?”

“Maybe I used to think you were a little uptight, but that only made you that much more intriguing.” He eased forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “Now I realize you’re just guarded.”

“That’s one word for it.”

He eased down onto the floor, took her hands in his and looked into her eyes. “You don’t have to be. Let your guard down. Let
me
be your guard.”

“You’re getting too deep for me.” She smiled, as if trying to lighten the mood because she was uncomfortable. “We’re not going to go any further with this topic. Yes, I’m guarded; yes, I have a past that is very personal, and no, I don’t intend to share it with you, Dylan or anyone else.”

While he admired her strong will, he knew if she didn’t discuss what was going on, she’d break. He intended to be very, very close in case he needed to pick up the pieces.

“Good for you,” he told her. “I admire you for your courage. Since we’re putting this all in the past, you won’t mind if I move forward.”

Not giving her a chance to speak, he cupped the side of her face and claimed her mouth. He wasn’t gentle, but he wasn’t forceful. He slid his tongue along the seam of her lips until she opened, allowing him access.

He eased forward, still on his knees, but wedged between her thighs. Her hands slid around his shoulders, holding on as if she didn’t know what he’d do next. Funny. He didn’t either. He knew he was walking a thin line, but damn if he could stop the journey.

Evelyn’s fingertips dug into him through his T-shirt and he grew even harder just thinking of how her nails would feel raking down his bare back.

“Let me make love to you,” he murmured against her lips.

Chapter Ten

Evelyn froze at his raspy words. Desire and passion battled fear and anxiety.

She slid her hands from his shoulders. “Vin…”

“No.” He took her face between his strong, warm palms and forced her to look right at him, his face a breath away. “Don’t hide from me. I’m here and that’s all you need to know. Nothing else is in this room. Unless…you don’t want me the way I want you.”

Evelyn closed her eyes, shook her head and met his gaze again. “I want you, Vin. I’m scared to death to want you, but I do.”

Even though his eyes burned beneath those heavy lids and his breathing was fast, harsh, his touch was gentle as he stroked her face with the pads of his thumbs.

“Nothing can hurt you, Evie. Nothing,” he repeated when she opened her mouth. “Just let me show you. You say stop, I stop. Let me try to help you.”

God, what man would ever insist on helping her over this? What man begged for her attention and didn’t run scared at her extreme lack of passion?

But at some point, she was going to have to try and fate had handed her the perfect opportunity. All she had to do was grab it.

“You’re in control here,” he whispered. “I’m at your mercy.”

Spears of desire shot through her. This man was on his knees before her, not asking for anything other than to pleasure her. Yeah, she’d never get another chance like this.

“Don’t hurt me,” she whispered.

“Never.”

He took her lips again and while his touch was gentle, it was also hungry and passionate. The fact that he wanted her, wanted to please her and make her see that not everything about intimacy was ugly had her letting her guard down lower and lower. For the first time, she wanted to let someone in and she wanted that person to be Vin.

While his mouth continued to tease, nip and claim hers, Vin’s hands traveled down her arms and to the hem of her shirt. Evie willed her body to relax, to concentrate on his arousing kisses and how good they made her feel.

With the first featherlight touch of his fingertips on her stomach, Evie stilled.

“Relax,” he murmured against her lips. “I’ve got you.”

He kept moving his hands until his palms cupped her breasts through her lacy bra. God, the warmth from his powerful touch had her arching into him.

“That’s it,” he whispered. “Feel what I do to you.”

Easing her cups aside, he slid his thumbs over her nipples. Evie gripped the edge of the sofa. When Vin dipped his head to capture one taut peak, she couldn’t suppress the moan.

As his mouth tortured her breast, Vin slid the shirt up and over her head, tossing it to the side. Evelyn reached out to grasp his shoulders. She refused to let herself feel exposed. This was Vin and he wasn’t about to hurt her.

But that sliver of fear came over her. She’d also never thought Alan would hurt her either.

“Don’t.”

Evelyn jerked her attention to Vin who was inches from her face, his hands on her biceps.

“Whatever just entered your mind, get it out,” he told her. “I know you, Evie. I know how you think, how you react.”

Tears welled in her eyes. “I’m ruining this. I knew I couldn’t go through with this, Vin.”

“Says who?” he demanded, giving her a little shake. “Says your past demons that have control over you? Says the asshole who you’re protecting?”

Protecting Alan? Not hardly. But she
was
protecting Rick and Dylan. She’d lay down her life for those men because of all they had given up for her.

“I don’t give a damn what happened before,” he continued. “I care about right now. I care about seeing you think of me for a change and not some bastard who stole your innocence. And damn it, I care about you.”

“I know,” she whispered.

He dropped her arms, causing her own to fall from his shoulders. He raked a hand over his short hair and sighed. Then, as if he was really sorry he’d said anything, he rubbed both hands over his face, laughed and looked to the ceiling as if seeking divine intervention.

“I can’t keep fighting this ghost you’re putting between us,” he told her, coming to his feet to look down at her. “I know you’ve been hurt. You can’t hide forever from the truth.”

Okay, now she really felt exposed. She pulled her cups back over her breasts and crossed her arms. She tried to meet his gaze, but she couldn’t. Yeah, wasn’t she a catch? Her lack of self-confidence was sure to be a mood killer.

“I know you’re not ready for anything,” he told her. “At least not a relationship, but I can’t take back how I feel, Evie.”

She searched the room for her shirt and just as she spotted it, Vin turned, grabbed it and handed it to her as if he knew how uncomfortable she was.

After shrugging back into it, she came to her feet, awed at the fact that this strong man was humbling himself and fighting for her. He was fighting against a demon he knew nothing about and Evelyn wanted the good guy to win.

“Vin, the fact you care so much about me really makes me feel special.” She reached for his arm when he continued to look away. “I haven’t felt that way before and what you’re doing is helping, but I’m going to need time. I understand if you can’t give it.”

“I have all the time in the world for you, Evie,” he said, meeting her gaze. “But I hate the way you mentally beat yourself up and question what is right. That ugliness from your past has no room here. And unless you want to tell me about it, I have no idea how to move forward in this fight.”

“You’re not fighting,” she told him, dropping her arm. “I am. I’ll always battle this because I can never fully get away from it.”

“What?” he pleaded, grabbing her shoulders again. “What can’t you get away from? Please, Evelyn, for God’s sake let me help you.”

“No.” She jerked away. “I refuse to let this ruin the lives of those I care about, and trust me, if I told you or anyone else, a whole new type of hell would exist for me.”

Damn it. She wanted to scream at the proverbial rock and hard place she was stuck between. She wanted to throw something; she wanted to go into a fit of rage until she felt exonerated. But most of all she wanted Alan to get the punishment he so deserved. Unfortunately, that justice couldn’t come unless she was willing to risk the career of the man who’d taken her in and loved her as his own.

“I can’t stand by and watch this, Evie.”

The hurt, the anger in his eyes should frighten her, but she knew he was hurting and angry
for
her, not at her.

“Then don’t stand by me.”

A new fear slid through her at the idea of Vin giving up on her, but she couldn’t blame him and she had to give him the chance to walk away before they delved any deeper together.

“Like hell.” He settled his hands on his narrow hips and glared back at her. “What kind of man do you take me for? You think just because you’re afraid that I should be too? I’m not afraid of whatever you’re hiding, Evie. I’m worried that it will destroy you because you’re letting it.”

Anger consumed her. “I’m
letting
it? You think I enjoy the darkness that lives in me? You think that I haven’t had countless hours of therapy trying to get rid of the fear, the guilt and the humiliation I’ve endured? You have no idea what the hell you’re talking about, so don’t even pretend to.”