Sins of the Father (27 page)

“Aren’t you forgetting something?”

Tiny lines deepened around Johnny’s eyes.
“I’m uh… not sure. Am I forgetting something?”

I let go of his wrist and retrieved the
ankle monitor.

“Helen, I put that in my briefcase last
night.”

“I know you did. Despite what I said about
it initially, I
do
feel safer with it on, when you’re not
here.” I perched on the edge of the built-in desk that wrapped
around half the office and pulled up one pant leg. “Please put it
on me, with my willing consent.”

His hands trembled finely when he locked the
device into place. “Are you sure about this?”

“Johnny, I need to tell you something, but
before I do, I want you to know that last night, how things have
been this morning, asking you to talk to the babies, none of that
happened for any other reason than desire on my part to share with
you again.”

“Okay.”

“I mean it. You’re going to be suspicious of
me, my motives, and I’ve given you plenty of reasons to feel that
way.” I paused. “Look at me. You’ve always been able to tell when
I’m lying. What do you see now?”

He hesitated for just a moment. “I think
you’re telling me the truth.”

Now came the tough part.

“I don’t want more fighting. I don’t want us
angry with each other.”

“I don’t want that either,” he said softly.
“Whatever it is, if you tell me the truth, we’ll work through it. I
don’t want… I’d love things to heal between us, like David prayed
last night.”

“When I left to go rescue my father, I
wasn’t entirely honest about what happened.”

“I don’t understand,” Johnny said. “Weren’t
honest about what? I already know why you went, that you wanted
answers about Marie.”

“That’s true. And when I told you last night
that I felt that I had to act because I was running out of time,
that was true too. I didn’t want to leave you. It really was
killing me. I didn’t think I had another choice.”

“And now?”

“You wouldn’t have helped me, Johnny.
Remember what you said? No more secrets. Please don’t lie to
yourself. You
couldn’t
have helped me rescue Dad.”

“No,” he stared at the floor. “I don’t
suppose I would’ve been willing to go that far.”

“And you wouldn’t have been willing to let
me try either.”

“Of course not. It was incredibly dangerous,
Helen. What if the authorities caught you? What if I’d been some
officer from corrections who was willing to shoot first?”

I sucked in a deep breath. “Good. You see
this from my perspective. I’m not sure if I ever told you this
before. You know I have money.”

He nodded. “It’s not much of a secret,
Helen. You told me you didn’t need to work.”

“You don’t know what that really means for
me, having money. I
have money
. A lot of it. More than I
could spend in several lifetimes. Well, unless I was a gambler or
made really dumb investments.”

“Okay,” he drawled. “I’m not sure I follow
where you’re going with this.”

“I could’ve fought Dad’s battle for him. I
could’ve put together a legal team that made O.J.’s Dream Team look
more like a nightmare. He would’ve been acquitted. Of that I have
no doubt. The case against him was circumstantial at best. His
fingerprints weren’t found on the money that was taken from the
armored car, only Marie’s. She drove that night. She gunned the
engine on that car that ran down and killed the guards transporting
the money. A good lawyer could’ve argued that Dad wasn’t even with
Mom when she rammed her car into the guards and stole the money.
For all the world knew, she could’ve picked Dad up at a bar where
he might’ve been having drinks with his sergeant. There was
reasonable doubt all over the place.”

Understanding sparked in his eyes. “And all
these years, you’ve blamed yourself for not using Wendell’s money
to save him.”

“Yes,” I said. “I love these children with
all of my heart, Johnny. But I knew that there wasn’t much time
before it would be impossible for me to save Daddy. I’d be big as a
barn, and then I’d have two children that
nothing
could tear
me away from. As much as I love my father…”

“You love our sons more.”

I nodded. “So I saw an opportunity that day,
the day I left, and I grabbed it.”

“When someone tried to abduct you
again.”

“Johnny, you need to be quiet and listen to
me. My plan… I’d been working on it for months, since around the
time that Ned Williams died in January. I thought I had all the
time in the world to…”

“It’s all right, Helen.”

My body trembled. Fear. Guilt. Shame for
being the liar Johnny believed me to be. I’m not sure. I forced the
words from my lips. “There was no abduction attempt. I… I needed a
plausible excuse for my disappearance.”

Johnny stared at me in silence, face an
inscrutable mask once again.

“I
am
sorry. So sorry. In hindsight,
I could’ve told you I wanted to go off to a spa for a few days, or
go back to Georgetown to pack up more stuff. I just didn’t think
you’d let me, and I was –”

“Running out of time.”

“I ruined our truce, didn’t I?”

His eyes fluttered shut. “No, Helen, you
haven’t ruined anything. I’ve been praying for this day since we
met, I think.”

“You have?”

“Yeah,” he said softly. “You finally
chose
to tell me the truth. Not because you were backed into
a corner and had no other choice. You finally trusted me enough to
be completely honest.”

“Then you aren’t angry with me?”

Johnny lifted my chin. “I’m not happy about
what you did, but I understand the logic that led you there, Helen.
I am absolutely
thrilled
that you confessed the truth all on
your own.”

I stood on tiptoe and nibbled his chin.
“Please forgive me. I am so sorry I hurt you.”

He cupped my cheek with one hand, a thumb
gliding over my lower lip. “All you ever had to do was ask.”

“Tell me that we’re going to be okay.”

Johnny let go of me. “As much as I’d love to
stay here and work this out right now, I’ve really got to get into
the city. We’ll talk more tonight. Deal?”

“Sure.”

Johnny paused in the doorway. “You can start
by explaining to me why you still feel that ankle monitor is
necessary if no one actually tried to abduct you again.”

Chapter 25

It was a valid question, one for which I had
no new answer. Johnny might be testing me again. I never expected
forgiveness, but received it. Trust would have to be rebuilt.

I marveled at Johnny’s restraint this
morning. Any other day, had I nibbled anywhere, his resistance
would’ve crumbled. This was no doubt a testament to how deeply my
lies hurt him. I wasn’t sure I liked the consequences, or knowing
that I behaved so badly to someone who loved me that much.

Baby steps.

My father had the wisdom and insight to
realize where I belong. He made sure I had the opportunity to make
the right choice. Invariably, any thought related to Dad plunged me
into melancholy. I wondered if he reached his destination. Had he
settled down somewhere into a quiet life? How would I ever
know?

I wandered back into the office, the
confessional as it were, and booted the iMac. A few clicks provided
a vague answer. A relatively small amount of money was gone from my
offshore bank account. “C’mon, Dad,” I said softly. “It’s your
money. No need to be frugal now.”

There was no point in denial. Part of me was
relieved that the account wasn’t all but empty, that Dad proved in
the end that he was a bad guy through and through. That fear
contradicted what I knew about him. He did make a dangerous gamble
when he called Johnny. For all he knew, Johnny could’ve simply
alerted the authorities at Attica and let us suffer the
consequences.

I didn’t get sucked deeply into the pensive
thoughts. The intercom from the gate chimed an interruption before
things got too deep.

“Yes?”

“Behan’s here to make a delivery, Ms.
Eriksson.”

I flipped on the monitor, just to be sure.
Gillette still lurked in every shadow. Was it paranoia or something
more? Paranoia this time, I recognized the delivery driver from the
last time I had Behan’s show up with the results of an unfettered
shopping spree.

The gate slowly jerked open. Within twenty
minutes, they had all the baby furniture out of boxes and placed in
the room at my direction.

“Hold on a minute. I’ve got a tip for
you.”

“We’ll load the empty boxes up, ma’am.”

I made a beeline for the nursery when they
were gone. The reality of my future descended on a soft cloud of
hope. I eased into the rocker-glider and propped my feet up on the
ottoman. I hummed softly and stroked my tummy.

Life could be better than it was before. It
was already a 180 from where I sat yesterday. I thought about
setting Dad free, the potential consequences before he made sure I
wouldn’t suffer any. Truth was, he had set me free. All I had to do
was accept the gift. Could I do it?

Thoughts swirled around in my brain. They
pulled me into a peaceful slumber. I would eventually come to see
it as my heart’s way of exerting a little control over my
brain.

When I woke, I knew what I needed to do. Not
because it would manipulate someone into seeing things my way. It
needed to be done because it was the right act. That it felt really
good was an unexpected side effect.

I took the elevator to the penthouse and
used my key to enter.

Johnny and Crevan had their heads together
at the desk in the office Johnny used to use for his base of
operations. Devlin slouched on the sofa with one hand over his
eyes.

“Am I interrupting something?”

All three jerked to attention.

“Helen!” Crevan exclaimed. “Look at you!
Love the hair.”

Of course a compliment was the first thing
to fall from my sensitive brother’s lips. I could learn a thing or
two from exposure to his kindness-first heart. I stepped forward
and hugged him. “Is Alex around?”

“No, he’s over at the club tinkering with
his new sound system or some such. What brings you over here?”

I took a small step back and looked at
Johnny. “I was hoping I could abscond with my husband for a
leisurely lunch. I see David is gone… and Devlin is here. Are there
new developments in the post-OSI era?”

Devlin’s expression was pinched. His eyes
roved from Crevan to me.

Dammit. Stupid haircut!

“Only one,” Johnny said. He stepped around
the desk and cupped my elbow. “Devlin decided to join us. You
didn’t have anything to do with that, did you?”

I made an X over my heart. “I never said a
thing. Can you get away for lunch?”

“The Bistro?”

I grimaced. “I’m not really in the mood for
bistro food today. Would you mind if we hit the diner across the
street from Downey Division? I’ve got this wicked craving for their
cinnamon rolls.”

Johnny chuckled. “You’re craving it, or they
are?”

“It’s a little early for that, Johnny,”
Crevan piped up. “Babies can’t start to taste what the mother eats
through the amniotic fluid until about 20 weeks. Researchers
believe at that point that they start to influence cravings.”

Devlin chuckled. “Do we even want to know
how
you know that, Crevan?”

He grinned. “Alex and I watched an old
National Geographic special the other night.
In The Womb
.
You guys should really check it out. Very cool stuff.”

“Can you give me about ten minutes, Helen?
We were just plotting some logistics when you came in. I’d like to
finish up, then we can have as long a lunch as you like.”

Crevan laughed. “You can have him for the
rest of the afternoon, Helen. We outvoted him and vetoed his
presence for the rest of the day. A good mood should never be
wasted in the office. It’s been so long since we’ve seen him this
–”

“That’s enough,” Johnny said.

I felt heat flush my cheeks. No doubt they
surmised the reason for Johnny’s improved mood.

“Ten minutes. Go raid Crevan’s
refrigerator.”

“You know, the bistro used to make these
really yummy fruit, yogurt and granola parfaits. It might tide me
over until lunch.”

“Sounds good,” Devlin said. “Want some
company?”

“Sure!” I glanced at Johnny. “Meet me
downstairs in ten?”

He nodded, and only a tiny bit of darkness
leeched into his eyes.

I stood on tiptoe again and kissed the
corner of his mouth. “Don’t be long.”

His hands gripped my waist. “Don’t ruin your
appetite in the bistro.”

“Ha! Not possible. I want you to run an
errand with me before lunch. Believe me, I’ll be starving again in
no time.”

We were barely on the elevator when I began
grilling Devlin. “Okay, what’s going on?”

“You tell me,” he grinned. “Johnny floated
in here this morning looking like heaven descended to earth. Are
you finally making peace?”

“Trying,” I said. “He’s not feeling
particularly generous with what his new little venture plans to do,
but I know David is on board.”

“He is,” Devlin said. “And so am I.”

“So?”

“Helen, I understand why Johnny is reluctant
to share this stuff with you. Actually, I think I might’ve gotten a
lead that nobody else had uncovered yet.”

“Oh?”

“Let’s refocus on your hunger.”

“I don’t want to refocus on anything. You
know how I get when people start cutting me out of the loop. It’s
what makes me apt to go off sleuthing on my own and get up to my
neck in hot water.”

“I won’t be manipulated by you. Let’s not
forget who you’re talking to. I’m not Johnny. My logic isn’t
completely obliterated by your considerable charms.”