Siren's Garter: Issue One August 2016 (11 page)

Elsie gritted her teeth. And then
lowered her gun, slightly. She exchanged glances with Biggins, and
Mom, and then nodded to Zack.

“
Good,” he said. “First things
first. Both of you,” he pointed at Elsie and Kevin, “drop you guns
and kick them away. Now.”

Elsie held out one hand, and bent
her knees. A lump in her throat, she clicked the safety on, and
tossed the gun on ground. And then kicked it toward Zack. She
nodded to Kevin.

He followed her example, and tossed
his gun behind him to Zack.

“
Okay, okay,” said Zack, pointing
off to his side. “Lovebirds, go over there for a
minute.”

Elsie went to where Zack pointed, a
few steps away from Molly Biggins. Elsie ignored the blond woman’s
quirky leer. Biggins still smelled like fresh pussy.

Kevin stood next to Elsie. “I don’t
have an extra gun,” he whispered.

“
Don’t worry,” Elsie whispered
back.

“
Hey kids!” Zack said, training
his gun on them both. “Cut the chatter for after class. Now you,”
he aimed his gun at Biggins, “I want the black book.”

Biggins chuckled, her whole body
shaking with laughter as if it were coming from the bottom of her
toes.

“
You?” she said. “Want the black
book? What?”

“
Don’t argue with me, skank. Just
hand it over.”

“
I
said
nyet
.
I don’t think you know what you’re asking for.”

“
Money, power, secrets. I don’t
care what’s in the book. I want it. And now.”

“
Well you can’t have
it.”

Mom stepped forward, a weird smile
on her lips. The same smile she got when she used to trick Elsie
into eating her vegetables.

“
I think you should give it to
him,” Mom said.

“
Have you fallen off your rocker?”
Biggins said. “You’d pay the price too, if he got hold of the black
book.”

“
Maybe. But so what? I’ve got my
family to think of. Elsie and… umm, Kevin.”

“
Do
you
remember
where you hid it now?”

“
Yeah,” said Mom. “It’s buried
under the tree right behind you.”

Biggins snapped her fingers and
pointed at the tree. “Nikolai. Dig.”

The big man with the scar got the
shovel and started digging, grunting as he worked. He broke a sweat
by the time the shovel hit something hard and metallic.

While everyone was distracted by
the digging, Kevin reached over and held Elsie’s hand. She
squeezed, and he squeezed back. The day had gone from bad to weird
to just flat embarrassing. At least she still had her
Kevin.

Nikolai knelt down lifted a metal
lockbox out of the earth.

“
Finally,” said Biggins. She took
a key out of her pocket. “It better still be in here,
Gertie.”

“
I certainly haven’t touched,”
said Mom.

Kevin leaned over to Elsie’s ear,
his body heat close and warm, comforting her. “Do you know what
this is about?”

“
No clue,” whispered
Elsie.

Biggins opened the lockbox, and
took out a brown paper bag wrapped around something book-shaped.
She opened the bag and looked inside.

“
Still here,” she said. “After all
these years. And you kept your word, Gertie.”

“
You had doubts?” said Mom. “Look,
you want it so bad, have it. Those years are behind me.”

Biggins pouted. “You don’t mean to
say—“

“
I mean exactly that. It’s
over.”

“
Okay.” Biggins wiped a hand
across her face. Her eyes were red and her mascara smeared. She
looked ready to bawl.

“
Hey, cry babies,” Zack said, and
put his gun to Elsie’s head. “Hand it over. Make it
choppy.”

Kevin clenched his jaw tight, veins
popping in his throat and forehead. Elsie clenched his
hand.

“
Molly,” said Mom. “The black book
isn’t that important. It’s just a book.”

Biggins nodded, wiping away the
tears on her cheeks. She kissed the paper bag, and handed it to
Zack.

“
See,” Zack said. “That wasn’t so
hard. Elsie, baby, thanks again for the lovely photos. You remember
my room number?”

“
Honey,” said Kevin. “What
photos?”

“
I’ll see you in hell,” said
Elsie.

“
Your loss,” said Zack. “But you
should know Mr. Dudley Do-right is a cheater.”

“
Excuse me?” Elsie and Kevin said
at the same time.

“
Yeah,” Zack puffed his chest up.
“You should see the bridal suite. He had some skanks over last
night. Wow, I heard the bed shaking until the wee hours of the
morning. Woo-wee!”

“
Kevin!” Elsie pulled away her
hand and backed up as if she had found a snake. “How— How could
you?”

“
It’s a lie,” said
Kevin.

Elsie pushed him. Hard. Towards the
edge of the bluff. Blood pumped through her head, making her feel
light and woozy. And angry as hell.

“
Well, later assholes,” said Zack,
holding the paper bag up for everyone to see. “Love you,
Elsie.”

He jogged away back down the
trail.

Elsie pushed Kevin again. Closer to
the edge.

“
How could you!” she shouted.
Elsie just wished she could come up with something better to say,
but deep, hot-boiled anger kept her from thinking right.

Mom touched on the shoulder.
“Elsie, dear.”

Elsie pulled away. Her vision
narrowed to a tunnel. Everything seemed to happen in slow motion.
She felt almost almost out of body, as if staring down from above
the treetops.

She felt out of control.

Kevin was so close to the edge, his
face so nervous and scared. Just a step closer. She didn’t even
have to touch him again.

Kevin slipped off the
edge.

And fell feet first.

He grabbed onto the rocky edge with
his fingers.

“
Elsie,” he said.
“Help!”

“
We were almost married!” Elsie
said. “And you cheated!”

Feeling oddly like a Vaudeville
villain but with anger issues, she stepped on his
fingers.

“
How dare you!” she
yelled.

Chapter
Fourteen

Kevin hadn’t realized how close to
the edge he was. How close Elsie had pushed him.

Her face contorted and pinched,
hell-bent angry. She was red as a lobster.

He tried telling her, calmly as
possible, that Zack had lied. The back of Kevin’s neck felt hot and
sticky. His armpits felt glued to his shirt.

Elsie took more step towards
him.

He took a step back.

And then slipped.

Loose rocks and crunchy gravel fell
underneath his foot.

The fall almost certainly bruised
his stomach. His ribcage hurt bad. Probably not broken, but the
pain stung fierce. His heart raced up his throat, making him want
to vomit. He dared not look down. The sheer nothingness under his
feet gave him enough vertigo.

Somehow he had grabbed on the
ledge. And Elsie stepped her clunky wedge sandals on his
fingers.

“
Elsie!” Kevin said, panic
quavering on the surface like a shark fin above the waves. “Baby,
listen! He lied!”

“
How could you!” she yelled,
grinding her toe on his fingers. Pain shot threw every nerve in his
hand, all the way up his elbow. He gritted his teeth, tasting loose
sand and dirt.

Kevin dug his feet onto the rock,
trying to find something to step onto. Unlike a rock climbing wall,
the ledge of Mendota Bluff was smooth with no hand-holds he could
find. And his shoes had no traction on the bottom.

Every muscle in his body strained
and burned. He wasn’t going to last long.

“
Elsie, please help me! I love
only you!”

“
Did you say that to those
floozies last night? Huh?” Elsie grinded her foot on his other
hand.

Gertrude, worry mixed with grim
determination on her face, put a hand on her daughter’s shoulder.
Elsie pulled away.

And then spat.

Her loogie landed square in Kevin’s
right eye. Half his vision gone and blurry with warm spit, Kevin
kept staring at her. Part disbelief, part utter terror.

“
Elsie!” yelled
Gertrude.

So this was how it ended? Being
pushed off a cliff by the woman he loved? Sure, he knew all along
Elsie had anger management issues. And she wasn’t a saint by any
means. Why the hell did Kevin want to marry her anyway?

Looking up at Elsie—long denim clad
legs, bare tanned arms, black hair blowing in the wind—Kevin
imagined her as the angel of death. The last woman most guys ever
wanted to see.

And he was in love.

Not despite her ferocious temper
and scary fighting spirit. Rather, because of it. What other woman
could live with a spy, but another spy?

Then he thought about the last time
they made love, in Elsie’s mother’s basement just a short time ago.
Why couldn’t it have been somewhere nicer?

Like the bridal suite?

“
Elsie!” Gertrude yelled
again.

Kevin dug his fingernails in the
rock and squeezed, lifting himself up. His arms ached too much.
Acid was building up in his muscles. His hands wanted to let go,
relax. Kevin fought with all his strength to hang on.

Mouth a thin cruel thin line, Elsie
stomped on his fingers, hard. It felt as if every bone in his hand
snapped, crackled, and popped. Sharp pain shot up his
arm.

“
Elisa Patricia Turner!” Gertrude
pinched Elsie on the shoulder.

Elsie half turned.
“Mom?”

“
I was at the bridal suite earlier
today,” said Gertrude. “The room was a mess. But no
floozies.”

“
What?” The vinegar gone from
Elsie’s voice. “Really?”

“
Yes, honey. Kevin is a good
man.”

“
But…”

Kevin grunted, redoubling his
effort to hang on for life. He hung by the fingernails, if the wind
blew the wrong way and unbalanced him anymore…

“
Elsie,” he said. “Who do you
trust? Me? Or Zack?”

Her face slackened, shoulders
slumped, Elsie put a hand to her mouth. Calm realization settled on
her brow, as if a lightbulb got turned on over her head. Kevin and
Elsie shared a long look that only lasted a half second.

He was half blind and fighting the
urge to wipe the spit out of his eye.

She narrowed her eyes to slits,
fire lighting her face.

After that long half second, Elsie
squatted down and clutched Kevin by the wrist with her sweat soaked
hands.

“
Baby,” she said. “I got
you.”

“
Don’t let go,” said
Kevin.

“
I won’t.” Elsie pulled, the veins
in her neck throbbing with the strain.

Gertrude knelt down, too, and
grabbed his other wrist. Molly joined in, on the other side of
Elsie, pulling.

Kevin kicked and grunted his way
up. All three women heaved, lifting him inch by inch.

Nikolai laid a big, sweaty hand on
the Kevin’s collar. Like picking up a kitten by the scruff of the
neck, Nikolai sighed and lifted.

Kevin moaned in relief when his
knees scraped against the rough, rocky upside of the
bluff.

He landed in Elsie’s arms. She
pulled him close, wrapped him tight against her bosom, wiping away
her spit with a thumb.

“
I’m sorry,” she said, on the edge
of sobbing, patting one hand on his hair. “I’m sorry. So
sorry.”

“
You’re—“ said Kevin. “Stop…
choking… me…”

Elsie let go and held him at arm’s
length. “Oh. Sorry about that, too.”

“
You can also stop apologizing,”
he said. He pressed a finger to her mouth while he caught his
breath. “Seriously. I can’t explain it.”

“
Me either,” Elsie said. “Wait?
What?”

“
You almost killed me. I should be
angry about that. But I’m not.”

Elsie laughed, a nervous jitter
shaking her body, and pulled away from him. She pressed her hands
against her eyes, trying and failing to stop the water
works.

“
But why? I’m a psycho. And you’re
a nice guy who used to sell puppy chow recipes.”

“
I know. But that’s not
what—“

Elsie stood up, hands out as if to
keep pushing Kevin away. “I don’t deserve you. You deserve a girl
who won’t axe murder you in your sleep.”

Kevin stayed on his knees and
crawled to Elsie. He took her by the hands.

“
But that’s where you’re wrong,”
he said.

“
Or blow your head off with a
shotgun if you come home five hours too late.”