Sister Betty Says I Do (17 page)

“That's okay,” Leotis replied. “I haven't seen or heard from her since she came to the altar and asked to join the church.”

“Maybe it's because new members' class won't begin again for a few weeks. Don't be surprised if that she-devil don't try to follow through with joining the church
and
having you two joined together. Hope you getting my drift.”

Leotis knew that what Freddie had said was possible. Ima wasn't off his mind, just out of sight. Even lately, having a couple of dinners with Sharvon hadn't completely taken Ima out of the picture. Although his thoughts of comparing a kiss from Sharvon to ones from Ima had increased, he knew that if Freddie saw the two women as a problem, then others might, too, and that truly was a big problem.

Once they arrived back at Leotis's house, Freddie quickly decided he wanted to go home that very same day. They gathered his things together, and no sooner had they headed out the door than they saw Sister Betty coming out of her house. She had her arms filled with several small boxes. They watched her stumble slightly when she looked over and saw them. Leotis also saw the look of relief on Freddie's face when she didn't fall.

Not waiting for the apparently stubborn pair to acknowledge each other, Leotis called out to her. “Good afternoon again, Sister Betty.”

Sister Betty heard Leotis, but her eyes remained on Freddie. “I guess it's either I don't see you much at all or it's more than once in the same day,” she teased without smiling. She realized she'd just revised what Leotis had said, but it was the best she could do at that moment.

Leotis leaned over to take one of the duffel bags from the trustee. “Aren't you going to at least acknowledge that she's standing there?”

“I didn't hear her say nothing to me, and I don't wanna be too pushy. I didn't leave a good impression the last time I hollered at her.”

It didn't appear that Freddie would speak to her, after all. Rather than risk further embarrassment, Sister Betty dropped the boxes into her garbage can and quickly walked around to the other side of her house.

Leotis shook his head and shoved one of the duffel bags into the backseat of his car. He looked at Freddie, who had remained standing and had watched Sister Betty turn and walk away. Shutting the door to the backseat brought Freddie out of his trance.

“Well, coward,” he told Freddie, “that was one opportunity you quickly tossed away.”

 

“So how did it go?” Sharvon's call had caught Leotis just as he was returning from taking Freddie home. “I got your text.”

“Can we talk in person?” Sharvon asked.

“I hadn't expected that he'd want to go home right away,” Leotis told Sharvon when she arrived at his house moments later. “At least if he were still here, there'd be an easier way for them to run into each other.”

“Well, perhaps it was time,” Sharvon said. “I have never seen anyone stay away from his own home for this long because he was heartbroken or had high blood pressure.”

“Everyone reacts to situations differently.”

“I know,” she told him. “But if having high blood pressure is going to make me lose my hair and to cause my complexion and skin to look like the back of an elephant's behind, then I might wanna reconsider this heavy caseload I'm overseeing.”

Leotis listened carefully as Sharvon laid out her observations. She'd seen just about everything that would normally make someone question whether Freddie's behavior was all due to high blood pressure. She didn't mention that she thought otherwise, and he had to keep his word and not tell her the truth about Freddie.

“And now that my second cousin Thurgood and his wife, Delilah, are going to stay nearby for a few days,” she told him, “perhaps they can counsel Cousin Betty and put her mind at ease until things calm down and she and Freddie get their act together.”

Leotis quickly removed a smile that'd begun to spread across his face before he asked, “I just remembered something. Aren't they the elderly sex therapists?”

“That's one of the descriptions you might label them with. But they are a bit over the top with their presentations. However, according to them, they're saved, sanctified, and Holy Ghost filled, and they believe they're on a mission from God.”

“That seems to run in your family,” Leotis told her, smiling before adding a wink.

“Whatever,” Sharvon replied, pretending to be offended. “They're very serious about senior citizens getting the right information regarding their sexuality. Seniors are losing their husbands and wives all the time. When they eventually jump back into the dating game, they're now sleeping with everyone that the other person has slept with. These days, men are taking Viagra and other sex stimulants, thinking they have permission to sleep around. Most don't realize or care that sex can kill you and your partner.”

“So I guess you told them Sister Betty might not want to have that type of conversation since you unintentionally implied to Mother Pray Onn that the wedding wasn't happening.” Shaking his head, Leotis added, “If you haven't, then that's the conversation you need to have with them quickly.”

“Not quite.” Sharvon took a deep breath and began twirling strands of hair that'd fallen over her shoulder as her eyes darted between Leotis and a huge picture of the Crucifixion hanging on his wall. “They were so excited about the upcoming wedding and how happy they were to be involved in the counseling, I couldn't get another word in edgewise.”

“Sharvon, let go of the excuses and get in touch with your cousins.”

“I know you're right, but rather than over the telephone, I want to sit down with Thurgood and Delilah. And I will before they see Cousin Betty in person.”

“Well, you better hope they don't speak to her about wild honeymoon bedroom antics before you speak to them.”

“Why would you think that could happen?”

“I'm guessing that it might've been their phone call that Sister Betty took when I was leaving.”

“If it was them, they probably called just to let Cousin Betty know that they were in town. They won't say anything to her over the telephone about sexual matters, so I've got time to explain the messy situation I created. As far as I know, they don't arrive here in Pelzer until Thursday morning. In the meantime, I promise you I am going through with it and will tell Cousin Betty that in my frustration I foolishly mouthed off to Sasha that the wedding was off. That way Thurgood and Delilah may not need to get involved. You can take my word for it.”

S
ister Betty had completed her current daily prayer ritual of trying to prod the Lord into having pity on her. Sharvon had come in late last night and had gone straight to bed, and it'd meant that Sister Betty had had no one to talk to.

Around the corner, Freddie had gotten up and done the same. Both had piddled around their homes since the day before, doing mundane chores, trying to avoid thinking about each other.

Although Freddie had a car, he still didn't feel confident enough to drive it any long distances. So he decided he'd just take a walk around the area, exercising, as the doctor had suggested, not too far but far enough to make it worth his while. The thought crossed his mind that he might run into Sister Betty, but then he knew she rarely walked anywhere. With the warm sun kissing the top of his bald head and a walking cane in his hand case the weakness came, he walked out of his front yard.

“I might as well go out of my way and do something different. If I walk up the block this way,” he muttered while pointing with his cane, “then I won't even pass by my Honey Bee's or Leotis's homes.” With his cane dangling from his wrist until he felt a need to use it, Freddie began his walk in the opposite direction.

 

“Well, Lord,” Sister Betty whispered, adjusting the wide brim of her straw hat, which she wore to keep the sun out of her eyes. “I'm depending upon you to touch these old rickety knees. I haven't walked a block or two in quite a spell.” She closed her door and slowly headed out her front yard. As soon as she looked toward Leotis's house, she saw his car was gone. She remembered Leotis had told her yesterday that today he was going to the Promised Land development to meet with some of the store owners.

“No sense in taking a chance. Freddie showed me yesterday that he's still mad at me. He didn't even act like he seen me,” she murmured. She felt the signs of sorrowfulness and immediately straightened her shoulders and held her head high.
If I walk the other way, then I won't even pass his house.
Sister Betty closed her front gate and began slowly walking in the opposite direction of Freddie's house.

 

Freddie hadn't walked too far before he became winded. By the time he reached the corner, he needed to lean on both a mailbox and his cane for support. He began panting from shortness of breath as he tried to determine if he could make it back home if he turned around.

It took Sister Betty a moment to realize that she wasn't missing Freddie so much as to imagine it was him leaning on a mailbox. She recognized his dark blue pants and the sky-blue shirt hanging off his bony frame.

No sooner had Sister Betty begun to pick up her pace than the sound of a car's horn and someone calling out her name stopped her. She turned to see a silver Mercedes, one she didn't recognize. Thinking perhaps she was wrong about hearing her name, and seeing that Freddie hadn't moved off the mailbox, she continued on.

“Betty,” a female's voice called out. “Wait up.”

The silver Mercedes had driven a few feet ahead of Sister Betty and then had begun driving in reverse. Ahead, she could see Freddie beginning to move away from the mailbox. She didn't have much time to observe much else, because when the car's window rolled completely down, she saw long blond hair and then Delilah's face appear.

“I told Thurgood that was you,” Delilah squealed. “We were on our way to your house and made a wrong turn.”

Sister Betty tried to smile but couldn't. At that moment all her attention was on Freddie. He had moved completely away from the mailbox and was now trying to walk using a cane.

“What's wrong, Betty?” Delilah's eyes followed where Betty looked. “Get in and let us take you back so you won't have to walk.”

Sister Betty walked quickly to the car and jumped into the backseat, her behind slapping the leather seat with a thud. She hadn't known she could move that fast. Her eyes met Thurgood's. He didn't have a chance to say hello before she ordered, “Quick, Thurgood. That's Freddie on up ahead. He ain't looking too good. Hurry up and catch up to him.”

Thurgood rolled up on Freddie and dashed out of the car to help him. Freddie jerked away and began to sway.

“It's me, Thurgood Pillar.” As Thurgood pulled Freddie toward the car, Freddie resisted more.

And then within seconds it appeared Freddie regained enough strength to throw a punch in Thurgood's direction.

By the time Sister Betty and Delilah made it to within a few feet of the mailbox, Thurgood was standing with his feet spread apart, his fists in the air, about to knock some recognition into Freddie.

Sister Betty shouted, “Thurgood, don't you dare lay a hand on him!”

It took a few minutes for everyone to calm down, and several more before Freddie could be convinced to go to Sister Betty's. In a measured tone Sister Betty had told him, “You can come back home, where I can tend to whatever is wrong with you, or I gonna let my cousin Thurgood finish what he was about to start.” She'd hoped Freddie would see some humor in her warning.

Freddie paid no attention to Sister Betty's threats. However, the essence of Delilah's fragrant come-hither perfume was suddenly like catnip. He didn't try pretending that he didn't want to get in the car. He even closed the car door himself, albeit before Sister Betty could get in all the way, causing her hat to fall off.

“Freddie,” Delilah cooed, “I'd have never recognized you. It's a good thing we came upon Betty, 'cause we might've driven by thinking you were probably putting mail in that mailbox.”

“Yeah,” Thurgood added, “today God was with you in more ways than one.” Thurgood began laughing. “I was about to lay your butt out New York style.”

Freddie didn't laugh, but he did respond. “I think you must've forgotten I'm from New York, too.”

“I'm glad you men are feeling well enough to fight,” Sister Betty snapped. “Y'all are men of God and are all up in this car, talking like you're getting ready for a pay-per-view.”

“Honey Bee, it's what men do,” Freddie told her quickly. He covered his mouth and coughed. He felt he should have covered it before he spoke, but now it was too late. He certainly hadn't meant to call her by her pet name.

Delilah looked over at Thurgood, who was about to turn into Sister Betty's driveway. “Did you hear what he called Betty?”

“I'm not deaf, Dee Dee.”

“Don't you mean Dee Dee
honey?
”

“Since when have I ever called you Dee Dee honey?”

Thurgood turned off the ignition and shifted in his seat to face Freddie before he said with a sneer, “Thanks a lot, playa. Now I'm gonna have to hear about how sweet you are to Betty all the way back to New York and probably a lot longer after that.”

“It should've come naturally,” Delilah said, pulling down the sun visor, sliding back its cover to reveal a mirror. She bared her teeth, checking them for any stains from the soft pink lipstick she wore. Seeing that everything, including her hair, was flawless, Delilah turned in her seat to face Thurgood and started in. “You know what, Thurgood,” she began. “You can get rid of your conked hair and wear just two colors—in—stead of looking like you searched for the rainbow inside a box of Crayola—and you can stand before thousands of men and tell them what they should and shouldn't do when it comes to courting and sexing, but you can't give me a reason why you don't call me honey?”

“Keep running that mouth, Dee Dee,” he told her. “I'm sure one will come to me.”

That's what's different today. Thurgood ain't wearing that greasy conk,
Sister Betty thought as she peered over and caught sight of Thurgood in his rearview mirror.
Well, suh, he is looking coordinated. Delilah done cleaned him up real good.

Sister Betty leaned back and gently tapped Freddie on his hand. Narrowing her eyes and nodding her head, she indicated that they should get out of the car. At the rate Thurgood and Delilah were going at it, she was certain they wouldn't notice. She'd wait until they got inside the house to remind him that when Thurgood and Delilah finished talking to each other, they would remember that they'd been talking to them.

In the past, whenever Freddie and Sister Betty arrived at her home, Freddie had always led the way. He'd take her key, open the door, and then wait for her to enter. He was the kind and caring gentleman. Now he stood at the bottom of her steps, waiting for her to walk past and enter her house. As tired as he felt at that moment, and despite the fact that he just wanted to hurry and sit, he still didn't presume that it was okay for him to act like the old Freddie.

Sister Betty wanted to push him ahead of her so he'd enter the house first, but she didn't. She hurried past Freddie when she saw him hesitate. “Come on inside,” she told him gently. “They should realize we're not in the car in a few minutes.”

Feeling kidnapped, Freddie used his cane as little as possible when he did as she asked, but not without looking back at Thurgood and Delilah, who were still going at each other in the car. “Well, I guess it's good to know that some things haven't changed.” He smiled, but not too broadly.

Freddie followed Sister Betty into the kitchen and waited for her to tell him when and where to sit. It was as though he had forgotten the steps to their love dance and now relied on her for choreography.

“I'm not too happy putting you through this inconvenience.” Freddie looked around for somewhere to lay his cane.

Sister Betty gently took the metal cane from his hand. She hung it by its handle on the back of the chair. Standing behind him, she noticed what looked like baby-fine hair growing on his scalp. She also saw his color didn't look quite as dark as she thought it had before. But there was no doubting the tiredness, and she wondered if he'd been overdoing it by trying to keep up with Leotis. “Freddie,” she said as she walked over to a cabinet for a glass, “I don't want to hound you or get all up in your business.”

“What is it, Sister Betty?”

He'd called her Sister Betty, and to her, it didn't sound right. She'd been surprised when he first called her by her pet name, but he hadn't called her Sister Betty since they became engaged. That reminder caused her to look at the engagement ring still shining bright on her small ring finger. She wondered if he was trying to get up the nerve to ask her to return it.

“You were about to say something?” Freddie turned around and saw her fingering the engagement ring.
Lord, please don't let her take my ring off.

 

Outside, in the Mercedes, Thurgood and Delilah sat quietly for a moment before Thurgood spoke first.

“Do you think we've given them enough time to be alone?” Thurgood reached over and kissed Delilah on the cheek. “I don't know why you didn't stay in the acting game long enough to win an Oscar. Gal, you were on fire a while ago.”

“We both should take a bow,” Delilah agreed. “Calling that poor Freddie a playa was mean.”

“Hey, it takes one to know one. I wasn't being mean to him. I was just giving him a possibility.”

“So what do you think we should do next, Thurgood? Your cousin Betty still ain't acting like a bride-to-be filled with certainty. I know this is their first time, but those two were acting like they'd just met sitting back there.”

“I picked up that same vibe. Except for the idle threats Freddie was throwing about when I tried to get him inside the car, there wasn't an ounce of communication between them.”

“Well, we can't expect them to have the special communication skills we have. Besides, the man's been under the weather, and he looks like it's more than just some high blood pressure. He's skinny like a nail.”

“You can't go by that, Dee Dee. Look at me. I'm thin, too.”

“Yeah, Thurgood,” Delilah said, allowing her tongue to sweep over her lips. “You're well proportioned, and your beige and brown leisure suit makes a difference.”

“Yes, I definitely still got it.”

Delilah didn't want Thurgood wandering off the thought track, so she quickly added, “But I gotta tell you—”

Thurgood laughed. “Go ahead and tell me with your fine self, Dee Dee. What you got to tell me? About now I'm feeling like a rocket about to shoot off on the Fourth of July.”

Delilah sighed and shook her head. “Sharvon only wanted us to get together for dinner and discuss the wedding and such. But it looks like we gotta test them a bit more before we decide if they gonna need some of our special sexual communication counseling for late bloomers or we gotta go Christian gangster on their stubborn butts.”

“You mean do a little more role playing?”

“Yes.”

“Well, let's get to it,” Thurgood said before he got out of the car and walked around to open the door for her. “It's showtime.”

“In which one of these rooms in this big ole mansion are you two hiding?” Thurgood called out as he and Delilah entered Sister Betty's home.

“We're in the kitchen, Thurgood.” Sister Betty peeked out of the kitchen and waved at them as they walked down her hallway. “We're in here enjoying something cold to drink. Can I get the two of you something?”

Thurgood and Delilah entered and sat at the kitchen table. Each of them had deliberately grabbed an empty chair that separated Sister Betty and Freddie. Thurgood apologized to Sister Betty for making an unannounced visit. “We might not have planned it that way, but think what might have happened if we didn't come along.” He then motioned to Freddie, who sat stiff as a stone and was just as helpless as he was when he was leaning on that mailbox.