Sister Betty Says I Do (27 page)

“You are something else, Sister Delilah.” Leotis began laughing, and before he could say another word, the band turned up the tempo and the vocalist began singing Chaka Khan's song “I'm Every Woman.”

“You see,” Delilah told Leotis, laughing, “that's confirmation right there.”

“Move! Get out of my way! Let's go!” Those words came from all four corners of Le Posh. Women of all ages raced out onto the dance floor. Delilah pushed the reverend back to save him from the stampede.

Ima slammed her book onto the table, and by the time she reached the dance floor, Sharvon was there, too. They, along with the other women, began dancing all kinds of moves as they mangled the melody to what nearly every female alive called their freedom anthem. And when they finished mangling that one, they started destroying the melody to “I Will Survive” when they sang it a capella.

Determined to take advantage of possible business with the eager women, Bea and Sasha waded in with business cards in hand. They almost became cripples; the women mowed them down each time Bea and Sasha tried to press a business card into their hands. Bea's dress had a rip, and Sasha didn't know where her hat had disappeared to.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” Brother Casanova announced, “I've just received word that a limousine has just arrived. Like you, I can't wait, either. So without further ado, it is my privilege and honor to present to you Mr. and Mrs. Frederick Noel.”

The guests jumped to their feet and began applauding. “It's about time,” someone yelled out, as though they needed to see the couple again before they believed the wedding had actually taken place.

Bea and Sasha hurried and made sure they stood nearby so, no matter how messed up they now looked, they could take a bow after the newlyweds entered.

Thurgood, still wearing his tuxedo, entered as soon as the ballroom doors opened. His eyes quickly found Delilah, and seeming pleased, he began smiling broadly at her.

Thurgood straightened his bow tie and adjusted his sash before he strolled over to where Brother Casanova stood. Thurgood whispered, “I'll take it from here.” As soon as Brother Casanova handed the microphone over, he scratched his head and walked away.

“Have y'all enjoyed yourselves?” Thurgood nodded around the ballroom like the seasoned pro that he was, indicating that he needed to receive an answer. As soon as several people remarked, “It's been wonderful,” Thurgood pulled a sheet of paper from his pocket and began reading.

“To all our dear friends who truly love us, and to those who just showed up at our wedding to gawk, my Honey Bee and I want to thank you from the depths of our hearts.”

Thurgood stopped reading and smiled. “Oh yeah, this is really from Trustee Noel. Trust me, my cousin Betty ain't had nothing to do with this.”

“Thurgood, cut the dramatics,” Delilah shouted. “Get on with it.”

“Yes, Dee Dee, you're right, as usual.” Thurgood looked down and continued reading.

“I've decided that I don't have the time to do things the way most would when they get married. Instead, I'm whisking my Honey Bee away, and it ain't nobody's business where I'm taking her. And I'm sure Thurgood knows how to keep his big mouth shut, as well as Delilah, who'll somehow tempt him to spill the beans.

“Speaking of Delilah, it may be unusual, but she'll be standing in for my wife and tossing the bouquet. Of course, old Thurgood ain't allowing nobody but him to feel up on his wife's thigh for the garter. He'll be searching for days, because my Honey Bee is still wearing hers and I'll be the one taking it off.

“There's plenty of food to take home in those Jiffy bags secretly stuffed in your pockets and pocketbooks. We also hope y'all enjoy and take pictures of that seven-layer wedding cake. There's a reason there's no bride and groom figures on the cake. It didn't make sense to have it, since me and my Honey Bee wasn't gonna be there.

“We'll be back when you see us. In the meantime, Reverend Tom and the rest of you, keep on praising God and doing well by one another, especially when it comes to forgiveness. You never know how your credits toward the Kingdom are stacking up, and I, for one, have a lot to make up for.

“Finally, I gotta tip my hat and toss Honey Bee's wedding veil to Bea Blister and Sasha Pray Onn. Only those two thorns in our sides could've put together one heck of a B.S. wedding reception, whether we wanted them to or not.”

Thurgood shook his head, laughing, and began folding the paper to put it back into his pocket. Before he could say another word, the guests began clapping and laughing, too.

And, of course, Bea and Sasha raced out onto the middle of the floor, looking crazy with their ripped dresses, Bea's wig turned to the side and Sasha's bun undone. They were deliriously happy and pranced around, yelling, “That's us. We're B.S.”

I
n the Le Posh ballroom, Sharvon and Ima decided to join in the fun, and this time they'd include Leotis.

Ima was the first to approach him. She threw her book and shawl onto the seat of a chair, and with her finger, she beckoned him to come to her. Of course, she'd made Leotis wait until the band played MC Hammer's song “U Can't Touch This!” If she hadn't embarrassed him before, she'd make certain he got the point now.

After the music was over, Leotis was near exhaustion from trying to understand and keep up with Ima's latest mind-blowing moves and welcomed a chance to sit. But then Sharvon raced over, and with a wide grin, she yanked him off his chair just as the band began playing En Vogue's “You're Never Gonna Get It.”

 

An hour later the reception in the Le Posh ballroom was over. Delilah and Thurgood were exhausted. The last of the guests had finally left, and they needed to get back to their hotel and pack.

Delilah chuckled and then sighed. “They should be almost to the airport by now and then off to Fort Lauderdale to catch the cruise ship to Jamaica tomorrow morning. I wonder how things are working out for them.”

Thurgood stood and began stretching his long arms and laughing, too. “Well, if they're going to do everything we suggested, they'll probably knock themselves out and sleep for the rest of their honeymoon.”

“This may sound crazy,” Delilah said. “I feel like an old mother hen who just let her chicks out for the first time and hopes they don't end up in a stew pot.”

Thurgood began rubbing his hands before he pulled Delilah close. “You know, Dee Dee, I just had an idea.”

“Is it what I'm thinking?”

“Yep.”

“Do you think they'll be mad?” Delilah asked softly. “But we do deserve a vacation, too. And besides,” she added, “Jessie and Tamara won't mind if their parents and grandparents stay away a little longer and have some fun.”

Thurgood chuckled. “Well, I'll tell you what. We don't have a chauffeur, but we still got that Bentley until tomorrow. Dare we keep it an extra day and hope they won't be upset, or dare we take that vacation to Jamaica and then on to Mexico? What are the chances they'll think we're spying?”

Delilah's gray eyes sparkled as she teased, “I'll take that double dare for two hundred, Alex.”

 

Miles away the white stretch limousine carrying the newlyweds sped down the highway toward the Greenville-Spartanburg airport. Freddie and Sister Betty hadn't stopped grinning since they left the Bentley with Thurgood. They were acting like schoolkids, laughing and holding hands, finding it hard to believe they were finally man and wife.

“Do you think our guests will be mad?” Sister Betty asked as she sipped sparkling cider and admired her new wedding band. “I'm thinking some folks might be a bit upset that they didn't get to see us before we left for our honeymoon in Jamaica and Mexico.”

“I don't know if they will or not,” Freddie replied. “I really don't care, because we left them in good company and with plenty of quality food and entertainment. The oncologist said I was doing splendid and I shouldn't worry about a thing and should enjoy the honeymoon.”

Sister Betty smiled. She hadn't given a thought to her new husband's health since they'd made up and placed everything in God's hands. She was back on her faith mission, and that was where she intended to stay. “For as long as God allows,” she whispered to Freddie. “One day at a time.”

Freddie kissed her and said, “This is our honeymoon, and no negative vibes or pity parties allowed.” He reached beside him and picked up the little microphone on the back wall where they sat. “Driver,” Freddie said, “can you please press the play button on that CD I gave to you?”

“Yes, sir,” the driver replied.

Suddenly from all the speakers throughout the limousine Sister Betty heard the sweet sounds of one of her favorite vocalists. It was Bishop Paul Morton out of New Orleans.

“I know I'm no singer like the bishop,” Freddie told her. “But I'm gonna always try and do right by you and make you happy” And in that moment, Freddie joined in with Bishop Morton, singing the love song simply titled . . . “Finally.”

Sister Betty had never heard Freddie sing like that. He was almost on key, and even during the speaking part of the track, he kept the pace. The sincerity overwhelmed her. She took a deep breath, as though she wanted to inhale everything about the moment.

As soon as the song was over, the old couple kissed again, and with a twinkle in his eye, Freddie laid his head back in the crook of Sister Betty's arm, then closed his eyes for a moment before he began smiling again.

After a few moments he sat up straight and reached for his glass. He took a sip of the sparkling cider and smiled so wide, it looked as though his teeth would pop out of his gums. “Betty honey,” he said, laughing, “you know how we're supposed to already be in a praise mode when we enter the church?”

“Of course, I do, Freddie, but what's that got to do with whatever it is you look like you about to do?”

“I'm just saying that today begins the rest of our life together, and I don't see no reason to wait until we get to the hotel tonight or to that cruise ship to begin the honeymoon.

“Freddie, what's wrong with you?” Sister Betty began smiling as she laid down her glass and a twinkle formed in her eyes. “Whatever it is, I'm willing to give it a try.”

Freddie spoke into the microphone again. “How long before we get to the airport?”

“It's going to be about another five minutes or less, sir.”

“That's about all the time I need,” he murmured before telling the chauffeur, “I want you to play the second track I gave you.”

Suddenly pulsating drumbeats reverberated throughout the limousine. It felt as though an earthquake had hit. Freddie leaned forward and flipped off his jacket. He took one look at Sister Betty and began jigging in his seat before waving his hands in the air as he'd seen teenagers do on the television.

Freddie closed the curtain that separated them from the chauffeur's peering eyes.

“Betty Noel, are you still wearing that garter?” Without waiting for her answer, he began singing along at the top of his lungs to the song that was playing, “Let's Get It Started,” by one of his now-favorite groups, the Black Eyed Peas.

A READING GROUP GUIDE

 

 

 

 

 

ABOUT THIS GUIDE

 

 

The suggested questions that follow
are included to enhance your group's
reading of this book.

They've been laid off, they're broke, and their faith is
really
being tried. But dedicated Mount Kneel Down Church members Patience Kash and Joy Karry figure now is the perfect time to pursue their other true calling—becoming private detectives. And if that means putting up with their thug-wannabe cousin Porky's delusions while hilariously interfering with their famous detective godson Percy's investigations, it's still a heaven-sent opportunity to hear all the town dirt and find customers. . . .

 

 

Feisty prayer warrior Sister Betty has never seen the kind of trouble brewing at Crossing Over Sanctuary church. The financially struggling members have until Christmas Day to pay off millions in debt. And Reverend Leotis Tom refuses to accept any of trustee Freddie Noel's sinful mega-lottery winnings. Now Sister Betty will need all her faith to prove that blessings in disguise are blessings nonetheless. . . .