Sisters Grimm 05 Magic and Other Misdemeanors (8 page)

"Feeling better?" Granny said, entering the dining room with a tray of what looked like magenta-colored hash browns. The old woman scooped a spoonful on everyone's plate and a second helping onto Puck's. Elvis hovered under the table, licking Sabrina's feet as if to remind her that he had seen the odd incident as well.

"I'm fine," Sabrina said, though her head felt full of sludge.

"We were worried when you fainted. I fear you may have accidentally touched something at Baba Yaga's house that made you hallucinate," Granny said.

"What does 'hallucinate' mean?" Daphne asked.

"It's when you think you see something that isn't really there," Sabrina said.

"It usually means you've lost your marbles," Puck added.

"We're going to have to be more careful when we go back," their grandmother said as she sat down to eat.

"Go back?" Sabrina exclaimed. "There's no way we're setting foot in that loony-bin again!"

"I can't wait to go back," Puck said. "Baba Yaga is very punk rock."

"Sabrina, of course we have to go back when we find her wand," Granny said, kissing her on the forehead. "Now, hurry up and eat and then get dressed. We've got another busy day ahead of us."

"Are we back on the case?" Daphne asked in between bites. Granny nodded. "But first we have to pay our taxes."

* * *

The courthouse was a grand building with a dome and marble columns. It sat just a few doors down from the police station. Outside, a huge crowd of people milled around carrying signs and shouting angrily.

"Looks like a protest," Sabrina said, noticing a sign that had the word tax painted on it with a big red slash through it.

Mr. Canis pulled the car over to the side of the road to park. "Relda, I don't believe it would be wise for me to walk through that crowd in my current condition."

Granny agreed. "Yes, a seven-foot man with a tail might attract some attention. Stay here. We'll be back in a jiffy."

The Grimms eased their way through the angry mob and up the steps of the building. The people they passed looked desperate. An elderly man grabbed Sabrina by the arm and pleaded, "They can't do this to us. We've got nowhere to go."

Frightened, Sabrina pulled away and caught up with her grandmother and sister. They entered the double doors of the courthouse and immediately spotted an armed guard who gave them directions to the tax assessor's office.

"Is there much of a line?" Granny asked the man.

The guard shook his head. "You're the first people I know of who have the money to pay."

Following his directions, they soon came to a door at the end of a long narrow hallway, tax assessor's office was stenciled on the door and a little red tag hanging from the doorknob read b e back in 15 minutes.

"I guess we have to wait," Granny said.

Fifteen minutes turned into two and a half hours. Eventually they spotted a short, stocky person approaching from the other end of the hallway. As she came closer Sabrina recognized Mayor Heart, the former "Queen of Hearts" from the famous Alice adventures documented by Lewis Carroll. Sabrina thought she looked like a demented beauty pageant contestant. Her face was painted in bold, harsh colors--bloodred lips, dark purple eye shadow, mahogany brown eyebrows, and a black hole of a beauty mark on her left cheek. She was wearing an elaborate crimson gown of silk and lace that had little red hearts sewn into it. She also held an electronic megaphone in one bloated pink hand. The angry mob followed behind her, waving their tax assessment letters in the air furiously. Mayor Heart seemed to be enjoying their frustration and hopelessness, or perhaps she had applied a permanent smile with her obnoxious makeup. Sabrina couldn't be sure.

"People, what's done is done," Mayor Heart said through the entirely too-loud megaphone. Her words blasted the people and echoed off the walls, causing a high-pitched feedback that rang in everyone's ears. "The city needs the funds, and you're going to pay them or you're going to move."

"I'll get a lawyer!" a man threatened.

"Feel free," Heart snapped. "But I have a feeling any lawyer in this town is in the same boat as you. Now, get lost or I'll have the sheriff lock you all up."

"For what?" one man shouted. "It's still legal to protest in this county."

"Then I'll have you locked up for being ugly. Now, scram!"

The people filed out slowly, muttering threats at the mayor until she and the Grimm family were left alone. Heart looked at them and let out a little laugh. She took out a key and unlocked the door to the tax assessor's office, snatching the little note off the door as she stepped inside.

Granny Relda and the girls followed her through the door. They found themselves in a small, windowless office lined with big gray file cabinets. There was a single well-worn counter separating the room into an office area and a waiting area. Heart stepped behind the counter and set a bell down on top of it.

"Good morning, Mayor Heart," Granny said as she stepped up to the counter.

The mayor said nothing. In fact, she opened up a drawer, took out a newspaper, and started reading the day's headlines.

"Hello?" Sabrina said.

Daphne tugged on her grandmother's sleeve and pointed to a sign on the wall. It read ring bell for service.

Granny looked as if she might leap over the counter and strangle Mayor Heart, but she took a deep breath, reached over, and lightly tapped the bell. The mayor looked up from her paper and flashed the family a forced smile filled with crooked yellow teeth. "Can I help you?"

"Mayor Heart, I didn't realize that you were required to collect taxes personally," Granny said.

"Oh, I'm not," the mayor said with a twisted giggle. "But this job is just too much fun to let someone else do it. I suppose you're here to see if you can talk your way out of your debt too?"

"Not at all," Granny said as she fished in her handbag and took out a stack of money. "I'm here to pay the bill."

The mayor's face turned bright red even through her white pancake makeup. She tried to speak but fell into a coughing fit for several moments before she managed to squeak out, "You what?"

"I said we've come to pay our taxes. This is the correct office?"

The mayor stammered and looked as if she might lapse into another fit. "Yes, it is."

"Very well," the old woman said as she placed the stack of cash in the mayor's hand. "One hundred and fifty thousand dollars."

Ms. Heart reached underneath the counter and snatched her megaphone. She lifted it to her mouth, pushed the button, and bellowed, "NOTTINGHAM!" The feedback rattled Sabrina's ears.

A moment later, the foul sheriff hobbled into the office. "I hear you, woman! If you haven't noticed, I'm a little busy. There's a mob outside, and some fool on Mount Taurus swears he's seen a dinosaur running around up there. Can you believe that? A dinosaur! I put him in a cell for being intoxicated."

"Who cares?" the mayor bellowed into her megaphone. "The Grimms have arrived to pay their taxes."

Nottingham laughed long and hard, but then seemed to realize his boss was not joking. He slammed his fist down on the counter, cursed, and spit on the floor.

"Why, the two of you act as if you're disappointed that we can pay," Granny said, obviously enjoying the change in mood. Sabrina could have sworn she heard sarcasm in her grandmother's voice.

Nottingham snatched the money out of the mayor's hand, flipped through it as if he suspected it were counterfeit, and then slammed it on the table.

"We're going to need a receipt," Granny said sweetly.

Mayor Heart snarled. Then she snatched a book of receipts off a nearby desk, scribbled onto one of them, and ripped it out of the book.

"This isn't over," Heart said, dangling the receipt out of the reach of Granny Relda.

"Oh, we never doubted that for a second," the old woman replied, grabbing the receipt. She placed it safely into her handbag, took the girls by the hand, and escorted them out of the office.

"Have a nice day," Daphne said just before they closed the door.

Sabrina heard the mayor and the sheriff scream in frustration as the family walked back down the hallway. They stepped outside, and for a moment the three Grimms gazed down at the throngs of desperate citizens.

"These poor people," Granny Relda said. "If we had enough I'd give them all the money they need."

"There's not enough money in the world," Sabrina replied. "Mayor Heart wants them out of Ferryport Landing. Anyway, we should be worried about us. What are we going to do if we're the last human family left in the town?"

"I don't know, liebling"

the old woman said as they stepped into the street. "But for now we should get back to our mystery. Who knows when Baba Yaga is going to lose her patience."

Suddenly, Sheriff Nottingham rushed through the crowd, waving a paper over his head. "Oh, Mrs. Grimm..."

"Sheriff, is there a problem?" Granny asked.

"Indeed," Nottingham said. Sabrina couldn't help but stare at the horrible scar that ran down the man's face. She wondered if that was what made him so ugly or if he had been grotesque before the knife had done its work. "It appears we've miscalculated the tax on your property."

"Oh, a refund," Granny said, clapping her hands.

"Bah!" the man said with a sick laugh. "The audit on your house failed to calculate the value of the land it is built on. You have nearly three acres of incredibly valuable property. I'm afraid we need to add to your tax liability."

"How much more?" Sabrina said suspiciously.

"Oh, just another three hundred thousand dollars," the sheriff replied.

"That's outrageous!" Granny Relda cried. "It is, isn't it," Nottingham said as a sinister grin crept across his face.

"And when we pay this, what are you going to tax next? The air around the house? You're just trying to get rid of us!" Sabrina shouted.

"Well, Mrs. Grimm, your girls are a lot more clever than I was led to believe," the sheriff said. "By the way, the taxes are still due on Friday."

When they got home, Granny Relda was dazed and distant, talking to herself in German. She made some peanut-butter-and-rose-petal sandwiches for the girls and Puck and then asked Uncle Jake and Mr. Canis for a moment of their time. The three adults climbed the steps upstairs for some privacy.

"This is bad," Daphne said.

"Don't worry, marshmallow. You'll get used to the cold," Puck said as he slathered mustard all over his sandwich.

"Granny will come up with an answer," Sabrina said angrily. She flashed the boy a look that said "shut your trap."

Moments later, Uncle Jake returned. "Good news, girls. I'm going to help you with your case. Your grandmother is a little busy with the financials, but it's nothing to worry about."

"Granny said that yesterday when we only owed a hundred and fifty thousand dollars," Daphne reminded him.

"It's all details. Now, where are we on the case?"

"At a dead end," Sabrina reminded him.

"Any suspects?"

"Too many to count," Daphne said.

Uncle Jake scratched his head. "Well, let's put our noggins together for a second. Both the victims had something magical stolen from them. Whoever or whatever stole the objects was pretty small. The victims were both Everafters. What else do they have in common?"

Daphne spoke up. "They're both women."

"They're both very powerful," Sabrina added.

"They were both here the other night," Puck said without looking up from his fourth sandwich. Everyone turned to look at him. Sabrina was shocked that the boy fairy had even noticed.

"That's a good point, Puck," Uncle Jake said. "Both of our victims visited us two nights ago."

"Do you think there might be a connection?" Sabrina asked.

"Could be," Uncle Jake said. "Let's go ask some of the others that came by. Maybe they've got something missing too."

"There were a lot of guests. Who should we see first?" Daphne asked.

Uncle Jake grinned. "Let's go talk to Briar." Sabrina rolled her eyes.

As they drove through the town, Uncle Jake chattered on about how pretty Briar Rose was, how smart Briar Rose was, how he hoped Briar Rose wasn't mixed up in the mystery. After a while, even Daphne got tired of hearing him sing the princess's praises. Puck threatened to leap from the car several times to end his misery, and Sabrina was considering joining him.

Luckily, Briar's place of business was not far. Ms. Rose owned a quaint little coffee shop three blocks from the courthouse. It bordered the Hudson River, not far from the train station and a tiny marina. Sacred Grounds, as it was called, was a favorite of coffee fanatics. The chalkboard outside promised dozens of different coffees, from espressos to something called a cafe macchiato. It also advertised a variety of muffins, scones, cookies, and donuts. Sabrina had passed the shop many times and noted that it was always jam-packed with customers. Coffee seemed to have the same effect on adults as magic did on her. She remembered her own mother waiting in line for an hour to buy a seven-dollar latte.

Once outside the store Uncle Jake ran his fingers through his hair, blew into his hand to make sure his breath was sweet, and straightened the collar of his shirt.

"How do I look?" he asked the children.

"Why do you care? She's just a girl," Puck said. "Girls are disgusting."

"You won't always feel like that," Uncle Jake said. "Want to bet?"

"You look mucho handsome-o," Daphne said, straightening the cuff of her uncle's coat.

Uncle Jake winked at the little girl, then led everyone into the shop. It was wall-to-wall with people: chatting, working on laptop computers, and sipping from tall, frothy cups of coffee. There were several little tables scattered about and a bright glass case in the front filled with pastries. There was also a long line of impatient, agitated people.

Sabrina spotted Briar Rose behind the counter. Even with her hair pulled back and an apron tied around her waist, she was a knockout. She worked the cash register, ringing up orders and keeping the line moving as quickly as possible, which wasn't easy. Most of the customers wanted coffees with ridiculously long names and detailed preparation instructions.