“Just? He
just
touched you? No big deal?” A vein pulsed on his forehead. “Do you have
any
idea what we do to Shifters who abuse children? It’s not only a crime punishable by death, but you can bet your ass they’ll have the entire pack going after them with the law on their side."
Anger sparked in his dark brown eyes.
I relaxed and took a calming breath. “Look, Reno, I don’t need a therapist. I’m scared of the dark and I shouldn’t have let you tie me up. Apparently, I have limits. My ex liked to have sex in the dark, missionary style. So my sex life has been pretty bland and—”
“No wonder,” he said, leaning against the door and shaking his head as if a revelation had hit him.
“No wonder what?”
“The only sex you’ve had is with a guy who throws you in the dark so that you can relive your childhood fears. You freaked out over a blindfold; I’m willing to bet you weren’t much of a willing participant when it came to sex. You’ve got control issues.”
Was he serious? “Oh,
I’ve
got control issues?” I folded my arms.
“For you, sex is giving up control. You go about your day trying to control everything. I get that. You’re compensating for what you don’t have in the bedroom with men because of one fucking pervert. So you fix your own problems, make your own money, and keep things running smoothly. Take back your life, April. You need to take back total control—that’s the only way you’re going to prove that you didn’t let him get the best of you.”
“Is that why you tie up women, because you lack control in your life?” I asked, lowering my gaze to the belt.
Confronted with the truth, Reno averted his eyes. I didn’t expect an answer because if there was one thing I knew about Reno, his fault was that he didn’t open up and share his pain with others. He was the eldest brother, and yet the youngest in the family was the alpha, which Lexi told me was rare in a family of Shifter wolves. Not only that, but Austin had decided to become a Packmaster. Reno had to give up what leadership and control he’d once had over his family and relinquish that to his baby brother.
Reno was the opposite of me. He
lacked
control in his daily life, so he made up for it in the bedroom by making his women submissive. He didn’t need to tell me; I could see it in his eyes.
“Maybe this isn’t going to work out,” I said, looking up at him. “We’re too different in what we need. Maybe this just isn’t the kind of thing I’m into.”
“Do you even
know
what you like?” he threw out there. “Because it seemed like you enjoyed what was going on in the other room, and I doubt your ex ever got that kind of reaction out of you. Am I right?”
My mouth parted to argue when he kissed me again, hard, his hands cupping my face. “Tell me you don’t like this,” he said against my lips, walking me backward. “Maybe we need to make some compromises. Let’s do this different.” The back of my legs bumped against the edge of the bed. “Get in, princess.”
A dull ache throbbed between my legs and I crawled onto the bed, aroused by how eager he was to please me. Despite my past, my present, and everything I had confessed to him—Reno didn’t care. I wasn’t damaged goods.
He collected two scarves from a bottom drawer and tied them around my wrists before securing them to the posts on the bed so my arms were spread out.
When he finished, Reno stood motionless to my left. The animal attraction pulsed between us, and his fervent gaze traveled down the length of my half-naked body.
“What are you doing?” I smiled and winked, but he didn’t budge or say a word. “Can you loosen the left one? It’s pinching my wrist.”
He obediently leaned down and loosened the material. Then he stood erect and lowered his gaze.
When your hands are tied up, things start to itch as if by magic. I began rubbing my left leg against the sheet. “My leg itches. I can’t do this tied up, Reno.”
He walked to the end of the bed, rubbing his fingers down my leg in a scratching motion.
“Higher,” I said.
His hand roamed higher to the spot behind my left knee.
“To the left. Higher…” I hissed and squirmed, releasing a satisfied sigh. “That’s it.”
When he resumed his position with hooded eyes, it clicked. I figured out
exactly
what Reno was doing. He’d placed me in a helpless situation but had given me full control over what happened to my body. Yet it still gave him the illusion of being in control. My heart warmed at the idea that he would change his pattern for me. Maybe it was a little kinky and out of the norm, but he understood me better than anyone else did. Tingles of excitement swept through my core and I wanted to kiss the man. He was empowering me by making sure that everything happening would be only what I allowed by my own command.
“Touch me,” I whispered.
“Where?” The sound of desire rumbled in his chest.
That was the best question I’d ever been asked. I gave it some consideration. “Kiss my neck.”
Reno sat on the bed and trailed his lips down my neck, kissing below my jaw, sucking a soft patch of skin, all while keeping his hands to himself. God, I’d never felt so adored by a man’s mouth.
“Take off my bra.”
He reached around to unlatch it, but the straps created a hindrance and prevented him from carrying out the order. He leaned over, opened a drawer, and pulled out a small pocketknife. Maybe I should have been scared, but I trusted him. With a careful swipe, Reno cut the straps and threw it on the floor.
His eyes fell heavily over me and I could tell he was using every bit of willpower to restrain himself from sucking on my pink nipples. Reno seemed smitten with them as they began to change shape and harden, as if by command of his heated gaze.
Was giving me control hurting the experience for him? I thought about a way we could do this that wouldn’t make it all about me. Reno needed some amount of control, and I wanted to entrust him with that.
“What do you want to do to me?” I asked him.
“Taste them,” he bit out, licking his lips.
“Strip out of your clothes, lie on top of me, and suck on them.”
His pupils were engorged as he shucked his jeans off so fast I barely saw him move. Reno’s boxers went next and I turned my head away.
When I didn’t feel him crawling on the bed, I peeked through my lashes at him. “What’s wrong?”
“Eyes open,” he said in a gruff voice. “I’m about to make you feel real good, April, and I want you looking in my eyes while we do this. Don’t shut me out. Deal?”
I nodded as he crawled on top of the bed, warming me with his heavy body. When his mouth came around my nipple and the wet heat touched my skin, I gripped the scarves and pulled, making the bed creak.
Upon my command, Reno slid his hand inside my panties. He pleasured me until I came close to the brink and then he stopped. He kissed me long and hard, lips melting against mine, sliding his tongue deeper until his arms trembled from holding up his weight. He only did what I asked of him. Pulling down my panties with his teeth took longer than I had expected, but Reno was a persistent and patient man who aimed to please.
After a long seduction, Reno untied me and lay on his back, pulling me astride him. I’d never been consumed by a man’s gaze until that night, and I’d never felt more intimate with anyone as when he slid deep inside me. The measure of his restraint was remarkable as he gave up control, allowing me to pin down his arms and ride him until my thighs began to tremble. I loved every imperfect thing about him. The way the thin trail of hair below his navel brushed against my belly, the faint scars on his body, the way he’d grimace when I hit a sweet spot, and even his musky smell. My hips went into a wild rhythm that had him groaning and straining beneath me. God, now I knew
exactly
how he felt riding that motorcycle—the raw power between his legs and being in complete control.
He threw back his head and every muscle clenched, turning to granite. The cords of muscle on his arms had never been more evident. When he captured my attention with his magnetic gaze and called me princess—I came.
Or quaked.
Either way, my body rocked from the first orgasm I’d ever experienced with a man. I’d had plenty on my own, but Reno made me feel alive in ways my ex never could. But if he hadn’t allowed me to take over, I would have never been able to reach my climax. Someone like me was too messed up; no man would ever be able to
give
me one.
Reno proved my theory wrong when he flipped me over and we did it the Shifter way. My knees pressed against the sheets as his hips slammed into me from behind. I gripped the headboard and my body hummed with pleasure. Then he stopped and allowed me to move—an act of give and take. Reno made an animalistic sound and dropped his head on my shoulder as I rocked him into a sweet orgasm. As I neared climax, Reno roughly grabbed my hips and pounded into me so relentlessly that he made me scream his name.
And I’d never screamed out any man’s name before.
Except for the time I got fifth row tickets to a Billy Joel concert.
“What is that naughty grin all about?” Trevor remarked.
“And where the hell were you all night?”
“Well, I think you might have answered your own question,” I said, hardly able to conceal my smile. I closed the door to the trailer and locked out the sunshine before heading to my room to change clothes. I’d taken a shower at Reno’s house that morning, but I wasn’t about to skank around in yesterday’s panties. Not to mention I wasn’t wearing a bra because he had cut it off with a knife.
After my fifth orgasm I was spent, and Reno had encased me in his arms and held me all night. He’d questioned me about my trouble with Sanchez. I told him everything I knew about him and Delgado. I didn’t know what trouble it could bring, but it was time for me to come clean and start being honest with those who cared about me.
“If he wants a pissing match, he just fucked with the wrong guy, because I’ve got the longest dick,” Reno had declared.
I wanted to let sleeping dogs lie, but I couldn’t talk him out of going after Sanchez. It didn’t matter; Reno said Sanchez was going down on sheer principle for messing around with his girl.
His
girl.
It wasn’t an epic moment of poetic words, but that one declaration made my heart flutter. My feelings for Reno were blossoming into something I didn’t have a grasp on because I’d never felt anything like it before. After he did some heavy cussing, I kissed his chest and he settled down, stroking my arm until I fell asleep. That morning, Reno had dropped me off at home so he could have a talk with Austin and smooth things over with his pack. I had doubts Austin would accept what I’d done, regardless of the reason. Lexi probably wanted nothing to do with me, and I didn’t blame her. But a pang of remorse struck deep when I realized I’d lost a friend.
Trevor came into the bedroom while I changed into a pair of jean shorts and long sleeves.
“I’m sorry for leaving you alone all night, Trev. I should have called, but I was a little… tied up,” I said with a mischievous smile.
“You got whisker burn on your face,” he pointed out, shaking one of my snow globes.
I ignored him, tying my shoelaces into double knots. “Don’t ruin my morning with a fight.”
“That good, huh?”
I fell back on the bed and smiled at the ceiling. “Blissfully good.”
He crawled next to me and relaxed on his side, poking his finger in my exposed belly button. “Just don’t fall in love with sex.”
“Why do you have to be so obtuse? I know what I’m doing.”
“It means you’re young and maybe this is the first best sex you’ve ever had. Don’t translate that to love, and trust me, it’s easy to do.”
“Trevor, you’re two years older than me. I hardly think that makes you wise beyond your years about sex and love. So you can drop all that young and naïve business. It’s time for me to start having relationships with men instead of reading about them.”
“Yeah, but why does it have to be
him?
Anyone but him.”
I sat up and frowned. “Just because he knocked you out? Bruised pride. Yeah, I get it.” I hopped off the bed and made my way to the kitchen.
He trailed behind and leaned against the wall by the fridge. “Look, babe, he’s bad news all around. I know exactly what his game is and you’re…”
I slanted my eyes. “I’m what?”
“Just a plaything to him.”
I poured milk into a bowl of cereal and sat in the chair. “Maybe he’s a plaything to me, ever think of that? I’m not the victim here, Trevor. It’s what I want. I’m finally heeding your advice and taking control of my life.”
“One night of phenomenally great sex and she’s taking back her life.” He swung the door open and leaned outside. “You hear that, world? April had great cock and now she’s turning over a new—”
I reached around him and slammed the door. “Cut that out! My neighbors will hear you.”
“Who? Mr. Dongshlonger with all the gnomes?”
“Great, now I’ve lost my appetite,” I said, whirling around and taking a seat at the table. I watched Hermie making bubbles at the top of the waterline.
Trevor snorted. “I’d ask what’s got into you, but I think I already know.”
A laugh bubbled out and I shook my head as he flashed an amused wink at me. I swirled the spoon in my cereal bowl, stretching out my legs and crossing them at the ankle. “You’re so childish.”
“Well, now that I’m speaking with the new and empowered April, I hope she’ll know when to cut off the bootie calls,” he said, peeling a banana and leaning against the counter. “Taking control also means learning when to let go of something that isn’t healthy. It was hard as hell for me to leave my ex, but what we had wasn’t right and would have eventually destroyed us.”
“So why did you stay together?”
His cheek puffed out when he took a generous bite of the banana. “Sometimes you just want to hold on to the fantasy and the only thing you end up with is the reality. The reality was, James made me feel like shit on a regular basis, and as a result, I spent his fucking money just to piss him off. It was toxic because he didn’t want to accept who I was.”
“What do you mean? I hope you at least told your boyfriend you were gay,” I said with a crooked smirk.
“Never mind,” he muttered, dropping the half-eaten banana in the trash. “I have a few job interviews lined up for today.”
I flew out of my chair and wrapped my arms around his neck.
“Hey,” he laughed. “What’s all this lovey-dovey business for?”
“Because it means you’re staying. I was afraid you’d eventually go back to him and leave me here by myself.”
Trevor gave me a big squeeze. “You’re family to me, April. I look after my family. Look, I can’t leave you by yourself all day, so let me drop you off at the mall.”
“The mall?” I laughed and pushed away.
He held my wrist and arched his right eyebrow. “Yeah.
The mall
. That place we met at, remember? Don’t act like you’re so high and mighty that after one night of blistering sex, you’re too good to mingle with the passionless sheep hitting the clearance racks.”
“Okay, it’s getting less funny,” I said, glaring up at him.
Trevor smiled devilishly and leaned against the counter. I don’t know how he managed to get every hair on his head combed in such a way that it looked messy and neat all at once. “Then where do you want to go? The candy store?”
“No, I’m not working there anymore.”
“What?” He stood up straight and crossed in front of me. “What happened?”
“Retail isn’t helping me with my career goals.”
“You suck at lying.”
“Cut it out, Trev. It’s my life.”
“So when are you going to tell me what kind of trouble you’re in?”
“How about tonight? I promise. Give me one day to float around like a girl who just had the best night of her life, then I’ll let you anchor me down to the depressing reality after we have tacos. Deal?”
He cupped the back of my head and pulled me in tight. “Sorry,” he whispered softly against my hair. “And PS: your roots are showing and it’s appalling. I’ll pick up some dye later on and fix you up.”
“Maybe I should just let it go natural.”
“It’s up to you,” he said. “Or I’ll dye it black.” Trevor held me at arm’s length, studying my face and hair. “Shit, that would look awesome with your complexion. You’d look like a badass heroine from one of those urban fantasy books who wears tall lace-up boots and ripped tank tops.”
“Think I can find some of those at the mall?”
***
Trevor dropped me off at the mall and actually stuffed fifty bucks in my pocket. I had to laugh because he knew I wouldn’t spend a dime of it. Since it was close to lunch, I stopped over at the sandwich shop and ordered a grilled panini with an avocado smoothie. It was relaxing to sit at my square table and watch people. A redheaded boy hopped in a circle on one foot, a teenager with mischief on his face flew by on a skateboard as an overweight security guard ran after him, and one exhausted mother had her hands full with five kids who all wanted something different to eat. I played a game with myself, guessing what everyone was doing at the mall.
I wondered if anyone sitting around me was doing the same and had guessed I was hiding from a pinky-chopping maniac who worked for a loan shark.
Halfway through my shake, I spotted a familiar face. I think she recognized me more than I did her. Naya James had breezed into our store on a few occasions to purchase pinwheel lollipops, but she was also a close friend to Lexi.
“April? I almost didn’t recognize you!” Naya shouted, running in short steps to my table. Her black pumps made her bronze legs look impossibly long beneath her powder-blue skirt. Naya was all kinds of beautiful with thick curls of brown hair and exotic eyes.
She leaned down and kissed my cheek.
“Hi,” I said, feeling at a loss for words at her unexpected appearance. “Did you find anything good?”
She threw a large bag onto the adjacent table and set her purse on the chair beside her as she sat down. “Whew! I’ve been shopping for an hour and my feet are killing me.”
“What did you get?”
“Oh,” she said with a sly grin. “Nothing I can pull out in front of all the children. It’s for work. When I buy real clothes for me, I go shopping with Lexi. Girl time,” she explained. Naya was a stripper, or exotic dancer. I wasn’t sure which term was politically correct. She had a bubbly personality that was fun to be around, not to mention Naya was drop-dead gorgeous.
“Oh, girly, what is
that?
” she asked, staring at my green drink with her red lips scrunched.
“Give it a taste. It’s an avocado smoothie,” I said, sliding it across the table.
Naya pushed it back. “The only thing green I put in my mouth is Ben Franklin,” she informed me with a suggestive wink. “So where is Lexi?”
I felt a flush rise on my cheeks. She had no idea what had gone down between us, and I was a little relieved. “Work, I guess.”
“You guess? Don’t you know her schedule?”
I glanced around to think of an answer.
Oh. My. God.
My trip to the mall had just escalated from awkward to epic fail when I saw Wheeler strut by with his sleeveless black shirt, showing off his tats that wrapped all the way down to his wrists. A woman walked by him and did a double take, snapping a picture of him with her phone. He lingered in the pizza line and I sank down in my chair. Naya caught on and turned to look around.
“I have to go,” I blurted out.
“Already, chickypoo? Don’t you want to hit the shoe stores on the lower level with me?”
“No, but I appreciate the offer,” I said, untangling the strap of my purse from the chair. When I sat up, my elbow knocked the smoothie over and the cup clacked all over the floor. Several people turned to look.
Including Wheeler.
The moment he spotted me, he slammed his tray on the counter and stalked toward us with a venomous look on his face. His brows slanted fiendishly and his lips were tight. Wheeler’s dangerous streak might have turned on some women, but it intimidated the heck out of me. He’d trimmed up that beard, which is more than I could say for the tangle of brown hair on top of his head. I guessed it to be about two inches long and hoped it would be enough to grab if this confrontation turned physical.
Wheeler’s shoe stepped in a puddle of green liquid and he slammed his fist on the table.
“Stay away from my brother before you break up the pack,” he said through clenched teeth, leaning forward with both hands gripping either side of the table. “You hear me? Being with someone like you is nothing but bad news for him all the way around.”
Naya’s chair scraped back and she stood up as straight as an arrow, throwing her shoulders back. “Don’t you talk to her that way,” she snapped, lifting a defiant chin.
I stared in shock between the both of them. Wheeler cannibalized me with his gaze, and then I noticed a fresh bruise on his eye.
“You may be fucking him, but you’re not welcome on our property.”
Wheeler hissed and recoiled when Naya swiped her hand and sliced him on the arm with her nails. He stood up and peeled his lips back angrily.