Sky Cowboy (7 page)

“Cool.  When do you go?”

“Uh, I think it’s about ten weeks away now.”

“Okay, well how about you help out at the Coffee House after school when you haven’t got anything else on?”

“Oh wow, Ava. Thank you so much. I would love that.”

I glance across at Jeremy and he smiles warmly at me.  I give a small smile back, before turning my attention to Celeste.  “Okay, well come by the shop sometime this week and we’ll put you on the roster.  You can tell me what days work for you and how many hours you can spare, and we’ll go from there.”

“That’s awesome!  Ag
ain, Ava, thank you.  I can come by Monday afternoon, after school.  Will that suit you?”

“Sounds great.”

“Okay, well I better get going home.  Oscar’s been asleep since seven.  He’s such a perfect little boy.  Although I think I’m all Thomas the Tank Engine’d out,” Celeste laughs.

“He has that effect on people,” Jeremy remarks dryly.

Jeremy hands Celeste some money and she gathers her handbag and makes to leave.

“Drive safe,” I call after her, “Watch out for the kangaroos.”

“I will.”

Celeste closes the door gently behind her and Jeremy stalks to me.  He gets right in my space and just looks down at me.  He doesn’t say a word, so I decide to break the silence.

“So, let’s talk.”

“Yeah,” he murmurs distractedly as he watches his thumb trace a line down the side of my face.  “Let’s talk.”

My breathing shallows as the sexual chemistry between us deepens.

I swallow hard and feel my nipples tingle as he runs his tongue over his bottom lip.

“Jeremy,” I whisper.

“Ava,” he says softly back.

His head descends and his lips gently graze over mine, backwards and forwards.  Teasing me.

“Jeremy,” I repeat on another whisper.

He stops teasing and covers my mouth with his.  His tongue sliding in, tangling with mine in a slow, sweet, erotic dance.  I lift my hands and run them through his soft brown locks, then down over his rough, stubbly cheeks and down further until they rest on his chest. I can feel his heart thumping steadily beneath my palm.
Thud, thud, thud
. It matches a perfect rhythm with my own.  His hands slide around my waist, pulling me flush against him.  The pace of our kiss doesn’t speed up or slow, it remains lazy and sensual. 
Intoxicating.
  Jeremy’s hands drift down to my ass and give a tight squeeze causing a moan to slip from my lips and my fingers to clench his shirt.  He growls in response and pulls me even closer, if that’s possible.  I can feel the hard ridge in his jeans as it presses against my stomach, and I immediately feel wetness gather between my legs.  Knowing I’ve caused that reaction in him gets a very heated reaction from me. 

“Jeremy, stop.”  The words leave my lips before I even realize I’ve said them.

“Ava, don’t tell me you can’t feel this.  Don’t tell me you don’t want this,” he almost sounds pleading.

“I do feel it,” I say softly, “I do want it.  But we have to talk first.  We need to… I need answers, Jeremy.  I need answers.”  I whisper the last part so quietly, I’m not sure he’s heard me until he touches his lips to my neck and
talks into my ear, “I’ll give you all the answers you need, honey.  Just don’t run from me anymore.  Don’t run from
us.”

“I won’t,” I promise.

He takes my hand and leads me over to the couch.  He sits down and tugs my hand so I fall down beside him, then he begins
the talk
that could potentially change
everything.

“That night, the one at the pub where we kissed?  I was fuckin’
cheerin’, Ava.  I was so happy.  I thought this was it. 
Finally
, you’d be mine.  Fuck me, I’d been thinking about kissing you since the day I started thinking about kissing girls, and finally I’d gotten that chance.  Then you ran off. 
Then
, you fuckin’ flew to Paris without even talking to me, without even telling me.   Then you came back and I thought we’d sort shit out and finally be together but every time I tried to talk to you, you shut me down or
fucking ran away
.  No more runnin’, Ava.  I’m sick and tired of you running.  It’s gonna stop.  We’re going to sort this shit.  You got no reason to deny this…whatever it is between us.  It’s
always
been there. I know you feel it too, and if I didn’t before,
that
kiss just made it crystal fucking clear.”

I stare at him.  Completely shocked at what he’s just said, but the only thing that’s replaying in my head is:
I’d been thinking about kissing you since the day I started thinking about kissing girls.
  He had been thinking of kissing
me
since he first started thinking about kissing girls. 
Holy shit.
  He holds my gaze, unwavering but not impatient.  Actually, his eyes tell me he is full of patience; just waiting for his words to sink in or for me to admit that he’s right.  He’s not being cocky though; he just stated some facts and is waiting for me to come to terms with them.  What he said – about whatever it is between us always being there – he’s right. 
It’s always been there
.  Thinking back, I always wondered why I felt a pull to Jeremy.  Why didn’t I feel a pull to Jackson? They’re identical twins after all, their personalities are similar and they look exactly the same, but I never felt any sort of connection with Jackson.  Not like I did with Jeremy.  My feelings for Jeremy have always been like…
instinct
; second nature.  A given.

If he was near, I instinctively wanted to be near him.  If someone asked me who I wanted to marry when I grew up, my mind immediately flashed with pictures of me and Jeremy
, and lots of babies.  When I heard the word
love
, I immediately thought of Jeremy.  I still do.

“Kennedy,” is what falls from my lips when I finally decide to speak.

His eyes widen a touch and then his brow furrows.  “Kennedy?”

“Yeah.  She’s the reason why I decided to go to Paris – I mean, it was something I had wanted to do but I was
hoping things between you and I might go somewhere.  Anyways, that night, the night we kissed, I was conflicted.  Kennedy said some things that cut me to the core and I decided the best thing for everyone, but especially the best thing for me, would be to go to Paris.  So I did.”

“She said something that cut you to the core?  What the fuck, Ava?”

“It wasn’t just then, Jeremy, she’s filled my head with all sorts of shit my entire life.” I say, tiredly.  “To me, it’s old news.  It’s what she does.  It’s
who
she is.”

“What the fuck did she say?” He grates out.

“She told me you were great in bed – the best she’s ever had.”  He interrupts with a growl and I feel my eyes go big as his hands fist and turn white in his lap.  “It’s nothing new to me, Jeremy.  It’s fine.”  I say, trying to calm him.

“Nothing new?  Fucking
Christ,
Ava.”

“Jeremy, really, it’s okay. She’s been telling me I’d have her sloppy seconds since we were teenagers.  But it wasn’t until last year that
Carrie McClymont told me that Kennedy never slept with you.  I was going to…I wanted to talk to you then about it.  I came over to babysit Oscar but then you came home the next morning and you’d been,” I pause and then continue, “It was the Farmer’s Council night.  You’d been with someone else. I just assumed that you didn’t feel what I felt so I just left it.”  I take a deep breath and wring my hands nervously in my lap.  The anger radiating of Jeremy is suffocating as it fills the room.

“Look at me,” he orders.

I look up to meet his eyes.  His jaw is ticking hard and it’s clenched, and his eyes are wild with fury.

“Every girl,” he grates out, “
Every
girl I have ever been with,
you
are who I see, Ava. 
You
are who I’ve always seen.  Your sister is a fucking bitch.  Thought she was a jealous cow ‘cause she could see the pull between us, but now I know it’s more than that.  She’s a vindictive, spiteful,
lying
cunt.”

“I know you didn’t sleep with her.”

“Yeah?  You didn’t think to ask me that, instead of running off to fuckin’
France?
” He retorts, sarcastically.

“I’m sorry.  It just hurt. I wanted you to be mine –
only mine
.  I didn’t want to be second best to Kennedy.  God knows, I’ve lived with it my entire life so far but I didn’t want to live with it for the
rest
of my life.”  I feel my bottom lip tremble as my throat clogs and the backs of my eyes and nose start to sting. 
Damn fucking tears.

I will not cry.

I will not cry.

I chant the words over and over in my head.  I’m winning the battle until Jeremy puts his arm around me and pulls me closer. 

“Hey,” he says softly, “You’re not second best, honey.  You know why she’s the way she is?  ‘Cause she knows how much better than her, you are. 
She knows
, Ava.  And the only way she can make herself feel good, is to make you feel bad.  She’s been playing your parents her entire life – they’re so fucking blinded by the perfect act she puts on, that they can’t see two feet in front of themselves.”

“You don’t have to tell me,” I mutter dryly.

“There’s my girl,” he whispers.

His girl?  I’m his girl
.  I feel like couch jumping – Tom Cruise style.

“Anything else bothering you, honey?”

“When you said you’ve always thought of me…?” I trail off shyly.

“Always, Ava.  Never a time I didn’t.”

“Oscar’s mum?” I blurt, though my voice is barely a whisper.

“Yeah, baby. Even Oscar’s mum,” he says, giving me a squeeze.

“I wish he was mine,” my voice is still barely audible.

I feel him go solid at my words and all of a sudden I feel the urge to burst into tears.
 
Ugly tears.
  I can’t believe that slipped out.  I’ve gone and fucked it before it’s even begun.  I need to get up and go home.

“I wish he was yours, too, Ava.” This time it’s my turn to freeze.  I turn my head slowly to look at him.  “I want us to work towards being a family,” he adds and I feel a different kind of tear fill my eyes. 
Happy tears
.

I launch myself at him and slam my lips down on his.  “Talk’s over,” I mutter before sliding my tongue into his mouth.  I feel his body shaking against mine as he laughs but he doesn’t separate our kiss.  Soon enough, he’s forgot
ten about laughing and is concentrating on kissing me back with as much passion as I’m giving him.  It’s a way different kiss to the one we shared earlier.  This kiss is primal, heated and full of built up emotion.  Every nerve ending on my body is standing to attention.  His arms slide around my waist and then I’m being lifted.  I wrap my arms around his neck to hold on as he walks down the hall, never breaking our connection.

He opens the door and then he’s lowering me to the bed on my back.  I open my legs and he slide
s between them.  Still, our lips remained joined.  I whimper when I feel his hardness pressing into me, right where I need it.  I shift my hips slightly, so I am rubbing against him.  He groans in response and pushes his hips into mine.

Jeremy’s lips leave mine so they can trail a pattern down my neck, over my collarbone and up the opposite side where he finds my ear.  Sucking the lobe into his mouth, he bites down slightly.  My nipples harden in my bra as a shiver runs through my body.

“You want this, Ava?” He asks in my ear.

“Yes,” I pant out.

“Tell me,” he rumbles as he continues to suck and nip around my ear.

“I want this. I want you, Jeremy.  I need you. 
Please.
”  I’m almost begging as I try to rub myself against him in order to get some relief.  It’s been a long,
long
time since I’ve has a man between my thighs.

Suddenly, he stands and
pulls me up with him.  I run my hands up and down his torso, loving the feel of his rippled stomach.  Then he takes my wrists and holds my hands above my head.  He lowers his own hands and then
whoosh!
My shirt is gone.  Next his fingers deftly undo the button and zipper on my jeans.  Jeremy slides them down my legs and I step out of them.  Next, my panties come off and then my bra.  I’m left standing in front of him naked.  Now, I’m not completely happy with my body, but honestly, what woman ever is? I guess I’d be classed as having an athletic build.  I’ve always been active – riding horses and working on the farm.  The horse riding, especially, has given me a toned physique.  My breasts aren’t too big that they bounce all over the place when I’m riding, but they aren’t small enough to allow me membership in the Itty Bitty Titty Committee.  I’ve got enough junk in my trunk to provide cushion in the saddle and to fill out my jeans, but not so much that it looks ridiculous when compared to the rest of my body.  But standing in front of the man I’ve loved since I realized boys didn’t have cooties – well, I gotta say, I was feeling a bit self-conscious.  I didn’t have to feel that way for long because in the blink of an eye, Jeremy had all his clothes off and we are both naked.