Sleeping Tigers (14 page)

“Pretty likely. Cam says he tried to get the mother to clean herself up, and that’s what made her take off when she was pregnant. Plus, I plan to camp out on Cam’s doorstep until he admits he has a child and takes action.”

“Sounds like you have it all worked out,” Karin said. “You turn the baby over to Cam. He’ll sell her to pay the rent, maybe buy himself a new pair of skates or a fix. And I’ll go back to bed and finish moping about my love life.”

“Cam wouldn’t do that!”

Karin stood up and put the tea cups in the sink, then faced me with her back against the counter. “Look, I know he’s your brother, but guys like Cam are navel gazers. They can’t see anybody’s needs but their own. You love Cam, so you can’t really see how useless he is. The guy barely has a pulse, Jordan! Even Nadine understood that. Cam’s doorstep was a lot closer to People’s Park, but she chose yours instead. If you don’t want this baby, you’d better find somebody else who does. Somebody with more on the ball than your loser brother.”

“You mean give her up for adoption.”

“I do. I don’t know why Nadine didn’t do that in the first place, frankly. Any hospital emergency room or church would take in the baby, and there would have been no legal action taken against her.” Karin studied her nails. “Of course, if you decided to give Paris to social services now, she’ll probably spend some time in foster care until she’s legally free for adoption. You wouldn’t believe the red tape in these cases.”

I pulled Paris onto my lap. The baby leaned against my shoulder and promptly fell asleep. “I don’t want her with strangers,” I blurted.

“Oh, come on. There are lots of really great foster parents,” Karin said, but I could tell by her smug expression that she knew she’d won the argument.

I sighed. “Don’t I need somebody’s permission to get medical care for Paris? There must be some legal procedure involved in becoming a child’s guardian, even temporarily.”

“You’ve got a head start on that with Nadine’s note. Meanwhile, I don’t see a logistical problem. You and Paris even have the same last names. Who’d bother to ask questions, anyway? You won’t need a birth certificate until Paris goes to school, and by then everything will be resolved.”

Karin tugged open a drawer and, amazingly, pulled a business card out of the stew of stray objects. “I’ve got just the doctor for this girl. Remember David from the party? Dr. Dull-as-Dishwater?” She turned the card over and scribbled something on the back with the stub of a pencil. “He’ll help you out. Here’s his clinic address and home phone.”

I’d nearly forgotten about David. Now I remembered his kind brown eyes and curly mop of hair, and felt comforted. He wouldn’t judge my brother’s actions—or mine.

Karin rested her hand on the baby’s back. Paris sighed but didn’t stir. “Besides,” Karin added softly, “it doesn’t really matter if you want to adopt this baby or not. Paris has already adopted you.”

While Karin showered and dressed, I telephoned Cam again from her kitchen. Shepherd Jon answered.

“Cam’s working,” he said. “What do you need? Tell me and I’ll relay the message.”

Below Jon’s slow, deliberate Western twang, I detected a strangled hint of New York accent. “I need to speak with Cam in person,” I said. I didn’t dare offer more information. If Cam knew I had Nadine’s baby, he might refuse to see me.

“Yes, Ma’am,” Jon said. “Soon as that boy drags his sorry ass home, I’ll make sure he reports to duty.”

I hung up, fuming. If I didn’t hear from Cam by tonight, I’d go over there first thing tomorrow. By then I hoped to have a car seat for the baby.

Paris was still sound asleep, curled against my chest like a puppy. My shirt was damp and I stank of milk and bananas. What to do next? Well, I couldn’t go anywhere without a car seat. I’d check out the area thrift stores for baby gear, then make that appointment with David.

I heard Karin emerge from the shower, singing, and felt suddenly envious: I’d already forgotten what it was like to have the freedom to close a bathroom door with nobody but me inside. Finding time to shower was a strong argument for parenting with a partner.

The front doorbell buzzed. I crossed the room, still cradling Paris against my shoulder, to lean on the intercom button. “Yes?”

“Hey, it’s me,” a man’s voice replied.

“Me, who?”

“Funny girl. Me for you, that’s who.”

I didn’t recognize the voice, but the man sounded friendly. I buzzed him in. Maybe it was the mysterious Wally, returning for a last, dramatic scene, and I’d get to watch. Good. Karin would be happy to do battle, especially with an audience.

But it wasn’t Wally. I opened the door to Ed, bearing a bouquet of mixed flowers and a box of chocolates.

“Well, if it isn’t Cupid,” I said.

He shifted his feet and looked sheepish. “That’s me. Your neighborhood Cupid on winged feet.”

“If you’re traveling on winged feet, I think you mean Hermes. But he didn’t do much for love. I think he was more like Federal Express. Any package, any time.”

“There you go again. Always the teacher, drowning the rest of us in your well of knowledge.”

“Sorry.”

Ed smiled uneasily, and pointed. “What’s that?”

I’d had Paris on my shoulder for so long that I’d forgotten I was holding her. “My brother’s daughter.”

“You’re babysitting?”

I nodded, unwilling to explain and suddenly confused. What was Ed doing at Karin’s place with such classic courting gifts?

Ed was rocking from one foot to the other. “You going to invite me in?”

I laughed and opened the door wider. “Sorry.”

He started to reassure me the minute he was inside the door. “You’re the one I’ve been trying to call, Jordan. I only came here because I couldn’t reach you. I thought I’d stop in and visit Karin while I was in the neighborhood.”

I suspected Ed was relieved that I wasn’t home, offering him a handy excuse for visiting Karin. “It doesn’t matter why you’re here,” I told him truthfully. “I’m glad to see you.”

It was true: I
was
glad. I liked Ed. On the other hand, even with Mr. Testosterone standing close enough for me to rub his bulging blue jeans like a genie’s lamp, I felt nothing more than a vague affection for him. The chemistry just wasn’t there.

As I watched Ed find a vase on Karin’s cluttered bookshelf, fill it with water, and fuss over arranging the flowers, I was aware that dancing with him, being in his apartment, and sitting next to him on our one movie date already seemed like distant memories.

Karin emerged just as Ed took a seat on the couch. She was dressed in tight black jeans and a black t-shirt, a shadow of Ed’s outfit. In my khakis and stained white sweatshirt, and with Paris on my shoulder, I felt like a mother chaperoning a first date as Ed scrambled to his feet again and embraced Karin.

She exclaimed over the flowers and waltzed over to the table to open the box of chocolates before turning to me. “I called Ed, like, ten times this morning to cry over Wally,” she said, popping a chocolate into her mouth. “He always knows how to comfort me.”

“I’m kind of like Karin’s relationship hot line.” Ed added.

“I don’t know why I’m still moping over Wally, that hairy dog,” Karin said. “I guess I should have waited.”

“Until what?” I asked. “That relationship was a flat line.”

“Until I had someone else in my sights! Then this process wouldn’t be so painfully tedious.”

Ed shook his head. “You’ve always been one foot out the door with Wally anyway. Now we’re going to carry you over the threshold for good.”

I didn’t comment on the obvious marriage metaphor, or on the foreign concept to Karin that it was possible to live without a man.

“I don’t know, Ed,” Karin sighed. “I botch every relationship.” She sank down onto the couch and buried her face in her hands, crying softly.

Ed and I exchanged a look and then, as if on cue, settled down on either side of her.

“Maybe you subconsciously pick men who can never match your ideals, so you won’t have to worry about getting married,” I suggested.

Karin peered at me from between her fingers. “God, how pitifully self-indulgent. But maybe so. Remember Mexico, that last vacation we took together?”

I patted her with my free hand. Paris was snoring slightly in my ear. “Of course. I’ve never been so sick in my life!”

Karin shuddered. “I blocked out the sick part. But remember that guy, the waiter in Puerto Vallarta with the spaniel eyes?”

I thought hard. There had been so many men. In the United States, Karin and I were over the hill, nothing to turn heads. But, on vacation in Mexico three years ago, just before I met Peter, we caused stares and whistles everywhere we went, simply for being women without husbands who had money to spend and wore bikinis on the beach. Which waiter could she be talking about?

Then I remembered. “You mean Ernesto? The head waiter who took you to his village by boat while I went to the museum?”

“Right! What was he, maybe twenty years old?” Karin smiled. “Ernesto took me to his village, and we ate armadillo soup at his mother’s house and took a walk out on the fishing docks. And then, I don’t know what came over me, but the moon rose over the water and I had to have him. So I did, right there on the docks.”

“On wooden docks? Ouch.” Ed made a face.

Karin dropped her hands. “Well, on ropes, to be exact. These thick damp fishing nets. I felt like I was making love to all of Mexico in a single moment.” She turned to me, her eyes suddenly anxious. “I never saw Ernesto again. I never even saw Mexico again. Do you think I’m horrible, Jordan?”

I smiled at her. “No. Why would I? Think about it. There I was, moldering away in a museum, while you were making love to Mexico. Who has more to remember?”

“And more to forget,” Karin said, making a face. “But I guess that was the point. To make love with the moment.”

“You’ll have more moments,” Ed said, then turned to me. “So how long are you babysitting, Jordan? Can you go up to the beach? We can hike at Point Reyes, maybe grab some barbequed oysters and a couple of beers. You come too, Karin,” he added hastily. “We’ve got plenty of daylight left. Sound good?”

“Sounds impossible,” I replied.

Ed looked startled. “Why?”

“For one thing, I don’t know how long I’ll be babysitting,” I hedged, giving Karin a warning look so that she wouldn’t intervene or explain my situation. “Besides, I don’t have a car seat or anything to carry the baby in if we go hiking.”

Ed considered this, chewing on the end of his mustache. “Some other time, then?” he said at last. “It would be a shame to go all the way up there and not hike.”

Karin and Ed were both watching me closely; I didn’t need a psychic hot line to read their minds. “Why don’t you two go without me?” I suggested obediently. “Karin, you definitely need to think about something besides Wally.”

“Oh, I don’t know.” Karin glanced at Ed, whose face had brightened.

Aha, I thought. So he had brought those flowers to the right address after all. Well, Karin wasn’t the only one who could play matchmaker. “Come on,” I said. “It would do you good.”

“Are you sure you don’t need help with the baby?” Karin’s dark eyes searched mine. I knew what she was asking, and it wasn’t permission to go to the beach.

“I’ll be fine,” I promised. “Go!”

Shortly after that, we left Karin’s apartment together. Karin set off with Ed in his rattling orange car, blowing kisses, and I walked towards the Mission to shop at the thrift stores with Paris on my hip, trying Cam’s cell phone again.