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Willa

An unthinkable amount of hours and minutes.

Ninety-two days.

Three long months.

That’s how long it has been since the day my world fell apart, crumbling around my feet like the straw house the Big Bad Wolf blew down with a lung-full of air.

I have hidden myself away, cutting off all contact from the outside world.  Well, that’s an exaggeration, but I have avoided anyone from my time at the Zephyrs.  I haven’t spoken to Carly since that day.  Nor have I had any contact with Rad or any of the boys, and especially not Oak.

Is that even his real name?
  Every time the question presents itself in my mind, I become angry.  Deceit is a powerful thing.  It can build an empire, but the foundations will always be weak, waiting for the smallest crack to appear so the lies and betrayal can wreak havoc.  It can ruin people.  Destroy families, eradicate the life you thought you knew, blow apart friendships, and leave love in ruins.

I was falling in love with him.

No, that’s a lie.  I’d already fallen.  It happened so fast I didn’t even realize it until the aftermath of betrayal had me in its evil clutches.

Then, it was too late.  My love has slowly receded and hate has overtaken my heart.  Or, maybe it isn’t hate, not really.  But it feels close enough.  I have held onto the anger and abhorrence for three months.  Then, one sunny spring afternoon, the truth knocks on my door.

Willa

“Rad,” I breathe.  I stare at him through the gauze of my security screen, unable to tear my eyes away.  “What are you doing here?”

“Nice to see you, too, sis.  You going to invite me in?”

“Oh, um, sure, yeah.” I stumble over my words as I fumble with the lock on my door.

I let him in, stepping back as he invades my small apartment.  Then, he surprises me again by pulling me into his arms and holding me tight.  I wrap my arms around his middle and hold back the tears that are burning my eyes.  I’ve missed him.  Despite everything, I’ve missed him so, so much.

“God, I missed you,” I tell him, my words sounding choked.

“Missed you, too, Willa.”  His voice sounds gruff.  I let him go and step back. 

“Would you like a drink?”

“Yeah.”  He follows me into the kitchen area and I grab a bottle of water from my refrigerator.

“Sorry, I don’t have any beer.”

“Water’s fine.”  He cracks the cap off and downs half the bottle in one go.

Taking a seat across from him at my counter, I ask, “How did you find me?”  While I was grateful to see him, the question was still burning a hole in the forefront of my mind.

He smiles ruefully at me and drops his head a little before meeting my gaze again.  “You didn’t really think I’d let you disappear, did you?”

“Well, yeah,” I reply, stunned.

“You’re my sister.”  He shrugs.  “I knew where you were, but I also knew, after the way things went down, that you’d need time to cool off.  You’ve had enough time, so now I’m here.”

“You’re here,” I reply stupidly.

“Yep.  You got any food? I’m starving.”  He walks over and begins opening and closing my cupboard doors, looking for something to eat.

“I’ll make you a sandwich,” I grumble.

“Thanks, sis.”  He smiles.  Fuly-fledged white teeth showing.  It’s incredible.  He sits back down and while I butter his bread, I look at him. 
Really
look at him.

“You look different,” I muse.

“Do I?”

I grab the fixings from the fridge, but don’t answer him.  His eyes look clearer, free from whatever it was that was weighing him down that I wasn’t aware of.  I’ve never seen him look so carefree and relaxed.

I place the sandwich on a plate and slide it across to him. 

“Thanks.” He takes a large bite, chews and swallows, while I sit quietly, waiting for him to finish.

“You heard from anyone from Ford?”

He’s referring to the Zephyrs.

I shake my head.

“Not even Carly?” His eyebrows rise to his hairline.

I shake my head again.  Curiosity gets the better of me and I have to ask, “Have you heard from her?  I miss her.”

“She’s doing good.  Moved to Prescott.  She’s working there.”

“That’s good.”

“Got herself a man.  Getting married,” he grunts.

“Carly’s getting married?  To a man that isn’t you?” I splutter, shocked.

He grunts again.

Oh my lawd.

“Seriously?”

Another grunt.  He’s obviously unimpressed.

“Why are you so disgruntled?”

“Not talking about it with you today,” is his only reply.

Even though I’m surprised Carly is getting married, since I knew she had a thing for Rad, I’m happy for her. Prescott is only about a two-hour drive from me. 

“What made you move here?” he asks, wiping a smear of mayonnaise from his bottom lip.

The day I left Ford, I had driven off with absolutely no idea where I was going.  I didn’t care where I ended up, I just needed to get out, and fast.  I had driven for hours until my eyes started to droop and I decided if I didn’t find a motel for the night, I’d be a lot worse off.  Early the next morning I woke up and checked out before continuing on my way.  A few more hours of driving and I was in Colorado.

We’d never lived in Colorado.  My parents had moved us from state to state, small town to small town.  But, we had never lived in Colorado.  Right then and there, I decided it was where I wanted to live.  I drove through a few small towns until I came upon a large arched sign stretching over the road ahead.  Hollow Springs.  I pulled over and climbed out, before looking around.  It was stunning.  Absolutely beautiful.  Not far off in the distance, were the snow-capped Rocky Mountains. 

I stood mesmerized until the chill began to creep through my jacket.  I slid back into my car and drove around until I found a realtor’s office.  After I secured a small apartment to rent, I set about finding a job.  My boss in the café where I work is a moody bitch, but other than that, it’s an okay job, and it pays the bills.

“Willa?” Rad’s amused tone jolts me from my thoughts. 

“Sorry,” I say sheepishly.  “I moved here because we’d never been here before.  It was fresh and new.  Not tainted by anyone else’s mistakes.”

“Makes sense.”  He drinks the last of his water before tossing the bottle in my trash.

“Come sit with me.  We’ve got to talk.”  He walks over to my sofa and takes a seat, stretching out his long legs in the process.

“Every time someone’s said that to me lately, I haven’t liked the outcome,” I mutter.

He ignores my comment, so I sit down and clasp my hands together in my lap.  My teeth sink into my lip and I nervously wait for him to speak.

“Do you remember when we were kids, I was probably seventeen and you about thirteen, we were sitting on the floor of our bedroom and I was trying my hardest not to cry.  I told you when I grew up I was going to be a policeman and put all the bad parents in jail.”

I nod. I do remember that night.  He had a split lip, thanks to my father’s fist.  Our dad was off his face, high as a kite on drugs, and he had been taunting me, teasing me, calling me names and laughing when I began to cry.  Rad had had enough and got up in his face.  Our father didn’t like being challenged, especially not by his son.

“You remember what you said to me?”

“I said, ‘Conrad, you can be anything you want’.”

“Yeah, you did.  That day when I looked into your eyes I felt like I could change the world if I wanted to, because my baby sister believed in me.”

“Of course I believed in you, Rad.  You’re my big brother.”  I smile through the blur of unshed tears.

“The next day, while you were in school, mom and dad kicked me out.  I told them I wanted to be a police officer, and it didn’t end well.  After a few condescending words and a left hook from dad, they tossed me out on the street and told me never to return.”

“Oh, my god, Rad.”

“So, I thought,
fuck them
.  I was going to do whatever the fuck I wanted to do.”

“So, you joined the Zephyrs,” I say, already knowing that’s what he did.

“No.  I held on to the belief that my sister had for me and I followed my dreams and became a cop.”

“What?” I gape in shock.  “I…I don’t understand.”

“Four years ago, I was asked to infiltrate the Zephyrs Motorcycle Club, so that’s what I did.  I worked my way up through the ranks, stealthily worming my way deeper and deeper into the club and discovering their inner workings.  While I’d been gathering intelligence for all those years, it wasn’t enough to shut the club down.  I contacted my Chief and requested another Agent be assigned so we could step up our game.  I was tired of living that life, and trying to keep it from touching you.  I wanted out, but I couldn’t just leave.  Not without massive repercussions.”

“So they sent in Oak?” I finish for him.

“Yeah, they sent in Roman.  I had already done all the groundwork.  The case was close to being closed anyway, we just needed more, something bigger and better.  I needed another set of eyes.  Things in the club had begun rapidly changing and the President was suddenly making changes and decisions that I couldn’t keep up with.  That’s where Roman came in.  Effectively, we could be at two places at once.  Four, if you count Dunlop and Mason.”

“Who are Dunlop and Mason?”

“Dunlop is a Special Agent, like Roman and me.  Mason is an FBI Intelligence Agent.”

“But mom and dad told me you joined the Zephyrs.”  My brow wrinkles in confusion.  “‘
Your brother is a bad influence, Willa.  He’s done gone and joined a motorcycle club.  He’ll probably end up shot to death and so will we, all because of his stupid mistakes.  You’re to have no contact with him again.  Do you understand?’
  That’s exactly what they said to me.”

“They didn’t mention the Zephyrs, though.  I think they were trying to scare you away from having anything to do with me because they knew I’d come back to throw their asses in jail once I was a cop.  They just didn’t imagine I’d be required to actually join an MC for my job.”

“Why didn’t you throw them in jail?”

“There was never anything I could pin on them.  I didn’t want them fined and allowed to go back and take it out on you.  I wanted enough to put them away for
years
.  In my spare time, I’d investigate them.  I followed them on my days off.  I compiled a case against them, slowly adding to it over the next two years.  Then, I had to join the Zephyrs.  It was my first undercover job and I didn’t want to fuck it up.  I had one of the guys keep an eye on you when I couldn’t, but I just didn’t have the means to continue building the case against our parents. 

“When they died, they solved everything for me anyway.  Well, almost everything.  Fucking Miguel.  Now that cocksucker is dead, too, so it’s all good.”

“I think I’m just in shock.  I can’t even believe it.  Why didn’t you ever tell me?”

“I couldn’t, sis.  I couldn’t risk them finding out that you knew.  God knows what they would have done.  Then, when I had to go undercover with the MC, there was no way I could risk your safety by telling you the truth.”

“I get it.”  I understand, but I am also a little hurt.  Mostly, I feel relief though.  I am glad he doesn’t really live that lifestyle, even if he had to immerse himself in it for his real job.

“Why didn’t you ever tell me you were in the FBI?”

“Up until recently, I’ve only ever seen you as that thirteen-year-old little girl with ringlet pigtails and stars in her eyes, believing her big brother could do anything he wanted.  I didn’t think you were old enough to understand the nature of my job, and back when I started, you probably weren’t.  Still, I continued to keep it from you because I was blind to you growing up and becoming an adult.” 

“Were you afraid of getting found out?”

“I’m good at my job,” is his confident reply.

We’re both silent for a bit after that, while he lets me process the truths he just told me.

“About Roman,” he starts cautiously.  I hate to admit it, but at the mention of his name, my heart rate kicks up a notch and my ears prick.

“What about him?” I feign nonchalance, but I’m not fooling anyone.  It’s weird hearing my brother call him Roman.  It reminds me of the times when he was deep inside me, demanding I call him Roman, and not Oak.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you the truth.”

“It’s not your fault,” I reply sullenly.  “
He
should have told me.”

“He couldn’t, Willa, and I think you know that.”

I huff.
I hate when he’s right.

“Anyway, the past is the past.” I shake off the sadness clutching at me.  “What are you doing these days?”

He looks me over for a few beats, and then decides to leave it well enough alone.

“I live here, in Colorado.  I have since I joined the FBI.  I’ve got a place in Denver.  You should come visit sometime.”

“I will,” I promise.

“For the record, sis, Roman was honest about everything except his reason for being in Ford.  He never lied about the way he felt for you.”

“That isn’t for you to tell me, Rad.  Those are words
he
should be saying to me.”

“I get that. I just wanted you to know.  You can be as stubborn as a mule sometimes, you know?” He chuckles.

“Where is he?” I find myself asking before I can stop myself.

“Denver.  He lives there, too.  Not far from me, actually.”

“Did you know him before Oklahoma?”

“I’d never met him before, no.  Even though we both worked out of the same field office, we work with different teams.  So no, I didn’t know him before Oklahoma.”

“Okay.”  That’s somewhat better than what I had been thinking.  Somehow, even though I know my brother better than that, I had been thinking they had conspired against me.

A great big Let’s Make Fun of Willa game.

That’s how I felt.  I felt like I was the only person in the world who
didn’t
know. I felt like everyone was against me.

I felt stupid.

“Did anyone else know, other than you and Roman?”