Snowfall and Secrets (The Omega Mu Alpha Brothers Book 1) (16 page)

He sat on the opposite side of the couch with his elbows balanced on his knees. He looked like he wanted to run as much as she did.

“It sounds like you’ve had some pretty bad experiences, but I assure you this isn’t what you think.”

Tess felt the tears again and tried to stop them. She failed.

L
ukas was an idiot on so many levels and in so many ways. He knew when he woke that morning to find Tess gone that he made a mistake. The cold, hard light of day had a way of doing that.

Tess had obviously been hurt pretty bad before. He wanted to erase that from her mind, for one night, and he didn’t stop to think if he should or if it would hurt her more when he’d eventually have to say that he wasn’t fit to be a good boyfriend or husband for anyone, much less an amazing woman like her.

In his pitiful attempt to be honorable, he hurt her more. He should have walked into that kitchen, put his arms around her, buried his face in her hair, and held her tight like he wanted to do. But no. He fucked it up. He shouldn’t be allowed to spend time with anyone but Dio. And maybe Hayden, he wasn’t much better.

Now he had to try find a way to make this better. He took a chance and reached for Tess. She didn’t fight when he pulled her into his arms. Instead, she tucked her head under his chin and cried.

“Tell me,” he said.

She pulled back a little bit, wiped at her face, and sniffed. It was adorable.

“Do you have any idea what it’s like to be a butterface?”

He creased his eyebrows. He’d never heard that term before.

“I must be getting old. I have no idea what that means.”

She snorted. “It means, everything is hot but-her-face.”

“Tess, you’re being absurd. Has anyone actually called you that before?”

The hurt that crossed her face was real and deep.

“It started when I was twelve. It was my nickname all through middle school and high school. I developed early. It got worse my junior year when one of the popular jocks grabbed my breasts in front of a teacher and got suspended. Everyone said I was asking for it.”

Lukas’s blood boiled. He wanted to go back and beat the crap out of every single one of those assholes. He entwined their fingers together. What he wanted to do was pull her into his lap. He had a feeling though, that she needed to get this out. It was a good bet she’d been keeping this a secret for a long time. That explained how a beautiful woman could be so insecure sometimes.

“My senior year, I met this guy at the mall. He was twenty-eight and sweet.” She shook her head. “I was such an idiot. I dropped out of school and moved in with him. My mother was devastated. But I didn’t care. For the first time in my life someone wanted to be with me for more than my body. At first it seemed like we were going to live happily ever after. But twenty-eight-year-old men don’t go after girls in high school unless there is something wrong with them. He was controlling and manipulative. I cut off all contact with my family. But when he got physically abusive, I bailed and went back home.”

She took a deep breath.

“How long were you with him?” Lukas asked.

“About three years. I went through a lot of counseling. I got my GED and went to college. I thought I learned my lesson. But I keep falling for the same men.” She pulled her hand out of his and glared at him.

He studied her face, trying to figure out how she got the nickname in the first place. The things he found the most beautiful about her were probably the same things that were awkward on her face when she was twelve. Those wide expressive eyes and earth-shattering smile.

“Tess, do you want to know the first thing I noticed about you?”

She looked down. “My tits.” She was trying to be crass and shock him. It didn’t.

He shook his head. “Nope, they were clearly the third thing I noticed.”

She frowned. “Oh that’s right, you saw me from behind first, so my ass is the first thing you noticed. I get a lot of compliments on that too.”

He sighed and decided to go a different route.

“Ok, let me back up. Way up. I’ve been divorced.” His mouth went dry. How much of this story should he tell her? She’d been honest and told him some of her hurt. The least he could do was the same, especially considering how badly he handled the rest of it.

“I know, I wear her coat.” She snickered but it wasn’t a happy sound.

“Stacey and I abandoned each other, emotionally and then physically. We couldn’t forgive each other, which in the end meant we couldn’t love each other.” He paused. Hopefully that was enough because he wasn’t about to lay his soul bare this morning. “When I started this morning, I had every intention of telling you I didn’t deserve you, and that you could do better than me, giving you a way out.”

Her eyes softened, and this time it was her scooting closer to him. Any closer and she would be in his lap, which was where he wanted her, so opening up was the right move.

“I’m sorry I jumped all over you.” She struggled to look him in the eye.

He cupped her chin and lifted. Her gaze followed.

“Yes, you have an amazing body, but the first thing I noticed about you was your eyes. They literally rendered me speechless. They are absolutely gorgeous. Then, when you smiled, I knew I was a lost cause.”

She kissed him. It was quick and bashful. He dropped his hand to her neck and pulled her in for a proper kiss. He didn’t know what the hell he was doing, then again, he doubted she did either. With the emotional baggage they both laid out, they probably should make pancakes or something. But when she slid her hands under his shirt, all that crossed his mind was that he wanted to make her feel like the most beautiful woman in the world. Which to him, she was.

T
he next three days were unforgettable for Tess. They couldn’t leave the house because the snow was covering the door. They watched movies, talked, read books, and made love. She tried to keep track of how many times, but by the third morning, didn’t care anymore. It seemed like they’d been together forever.

He constantly told her how beautiful she was, and she wouldn’t have believed him, except she could see the truth in his eyes. They talked a lot about their pasts. Tess knew he was a keeping a secret, but then so was she. Someday hers would have to come out, but for now, she was happy keeping it.

On the fourth morning, she slipped out of bed and grabbed a quick shower. Once she was dressed, she wiped the mirror clear of condensation and turned to the side. She pulled her sweater tight. Her bump wasn’t any bigger than it had been before she started sleeping with Lukas.

She worried it wouldn’t be long before his hands noticed a difference. He paid close attention to every part of her, making sure to even kiss the back of her knees. In all of their talks, neither one of them mentioned children, but whenever she talked about her students, there was a crease around his eyes.

Once the snow was under control, she was going to have a blunt discussion with Marie regarding adoption. What she read on the Internet only lead to more questions, and she wanted to be certain that if she gave the baby up, it would be to a safe, loving home.

She sighed. Baby. At least she stopped referring to him or her as an it. If she could truly have something with Lukas and this stood in the way, was that reason enough to consider giving the baby up?

Her stomach rumbled. Maybe she was reading too much into their relationship. Lukas might only be waiting till the snow melted, and then things would be different between them once she went back to her own place.

Right now, she couldn’t think about that. She was hungry, and she’d deal with whatever came when it came.

She snuck downstairs and dug a package of bacon out of the fridge. A few minutes later Lukas wrapped his arms around her.

“No man can resist the smell of bacon.”

She grinned. “I know. It was a trick my mom used to get us out of bed in the morning on Saturdays. I don’t think I’ve ever slept past seven in my whole life.”

He kissed the back of her neck, and she wondered if she would let the bacon burn in the pan.

He moved away from her though. He hadn’t bothered to put a shirt on, and she wanted desperately to run her hand along his washboard abs. It wasn’t fair that men like him were real. He ruined her from ever appreciating another man’s body again.

“I’ve got go into the shop today. You wanna come with?”

“Sure.” Through all their conversations, she realized that she had no idea what he did for a living. Judging from the size of his house and all of the furniture, he did pretty well for himself. She’d never be able to afford anything like this on her teacher’s salary. “What kind of shop is it anyway?”

“The only kind on Mackinac Island. Fudge.”

“You run a fudge shop?”

“Yep. Been in the family for three generations. Best fudge on the island. Well, last year anyway. Next year it will be someone else. We rotate.”

“You see this?” Tess waved up and down her body. He followed her hands and grinned. “It won’t last if I am exposed to fudge on a daily basis.”

He shrugged. “I don’t care. As long as that beautiful face of yours doesn’t change, I probably won’t even notice. You eat as much fudge as you want.”

She blushed. He knew exactly the right thing to say. “Why do you have to go into work anyway? It’s not like there are tourists on the island now.”

“We have mail orders. I sent most of them emails explaining the delay because of a blizzard. If I’m being honest, I could’ve gone in yesterday and gotten them out on time. But a certain minx named Tess kept me confined to my bed.”

She swatted him on the chest. “More like you kept me trapped here. I’d love to go with you. Though I might fall more in love with the chocolate than I am with you.”

She froze. She hadn’t meant to say that. He laughed. “I’m going to go shower.” He gave her a quick kiss and stole a piece of bacon.

Phew. She dodged a bullet there. He would’ve easily bailed if he’d realized what she said.

L
ukas grimaced as he stepped into the shower. He was so in for it. Tess may not have realized it, but she just told him she loved him, and those words terrified him. If she was thinking along those lines, then he had to tell her the truth. It wouldn’t be fair of him to drag this relationship on any further without her knowing. She was young, only twenty-five, and to ask her to never have kids would be cruel. She might agree with him now, but what happened ten years from now? She had a lot of childbearing years left, and he wouldn’t be able to handle it if she bailed.

Hell, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to handle it now. This was stupid. He had to tell her and then let the chips fall where they may.

He zipped up his jeans, buttoned his shirt, and pulled on a sweater over it.

Lukas stepped into the kitchen, and Tess was already back in his arms. “How is that you are just as hot in clothes as you are out of them?” she asked.

He grinned. “I could ask you the same thing.”

She giggled. “Breakfast is on the table.”

She was definitely the most domestic woman he ever dated. In fact, he was pretty sure no woman ever made him breakfast before. When he married Stacey, she insisted on a housekeeper who cooked. Stacey never touched anything in the kitchen except the microwave and toaster.