So Mote it Be (17 page)

“Maybe we need to try something else,” said Annie. “I read something interesting in one of the books. It suggested raising energy by chanting. You make up a chant by doing word association.”

“Word association?” said Cooper. “How's that work?”

“I say a word,” Annie explained. “Then Kate says a word that my word makes her think of. Then you say a word that her word makes you think of. We keep going around the circle chanting, and as we do we let ourselves think about the images the words bring up. It's supposed to help us focus.”

They joined hands again and closed their eyes. Then Annie began. “Snow,” she said.

“Cold,” Kate said, the word springing into her mind immediately.

“Ice,” said Cooper.

“Water,” Annie said after a short pause, and the second round began.

They went around, each saying a word, and the sound filled Kate's mind. “Water, Ocean, Swim, Beach, Sand, Warm, Fire, Sun, Moon, Star, Night, Black.” The words flowed easily as they circled around and around. With each one, a picture flashed into Kate's mind and was quickly replaced by another as the next word was spoken. Soon she found herself sinking into a comfortable, relaxed state. And then she saw herself filled with light, and Annie and Cooper on either side of her, also filled with light.

The sound of their voices took on a new tone. It reminded Kate of bees buzzing on a warm summer day, lulling her to sleep but also filling her with excitement. She imagined the light in her body flowing out through her fingers and into Cooper's and Annie's hands. She saw it join with the light coming from their fingers, and she imagined their different lights forming one continuous ring that flowed around them like crystal-clear water.

They kept chanting, the words coming out like a song. Their voices blended together into one, and Kate imagined the words flying around their heads, carrying the light above them like butterflies. “Earth, flower, bloom,” she heard them say.

The light rose up, and Kate pictured it coming to a point. The words grew louder. “Wind, fly, bird,” they chanted. “Feather, float, dream.”

Cooper squeezed Kate's hand, and Kate squeezed Annie's. It was as if they were signaling one another. They lifted their joined hands up into the air. “Mother, child, birth,” they said, and let the last word hang in the air as they stopped chanting.

Kate's heart was beating fiercely in her chest. She could feel the blood moving through her body. She could feel Annie's and Cooper's hands in hers, and it was almost like they shared the same blood. She'd never felt anything like it. It was as if the whole room were filled with light, and they were at the center of it.

Kate opened her eyes. Annie and Cooper had also opened theirs, and they all looked around at one another.

“Did we do it?” Kate asked.

“I think so,” said Annie.

“I'm really hungry all of a sudden,” said Cooper. “Do you have anything to eat?”

Oddly enough, they all felt hungry. Going downstairs, they searched the kitchen for food and returned to Annie's room carrying bags of chips and things to drink. Sitting on the floor, they ate and talked about what they'd just done.

“That was amazing,” Annie said. “I could really feel something moving inside me.”

“I felt a little of that when I did my own ritual,” Kate said. “But it was nothing like what we did.”

“The chanting really helped,” said Cooper. “But why are we so hungry?”

Annie picked up one of the books she'd gotten at the bookstore and opened it. “I think I saw something about that in here when I was reading,” she said, leafing through the pages. “Here it is. ‘After raising and releasing energy, you may feel a sense of exhilaration,'” she read. “‘You may even feel lightheaded or slightly dizzy. It's important after doing this kind of energy work to eat and drink something. This helps reconnect you with your body and with the earth, and it allows any excess energy you've raised to be reabsorbed. This process is called grounding.'”

“Grounding,” said Cooper, taking a handful of chips. “Like when you work with electricity. You always have a ground wire to channel the electrical current so it doesn't run wild and do damage. I learned that when I rewired my guitar amp.”

“I just hope we didn't bother your aunt with all the chanting,” Kate said.

“Don't worry about that,” Annie told her. “You can't hear much downstairs. Besides, I don't think we were that loud.”

“I wish we'd written down the words to the chant,” Kate said. “I don't really remember them.”

“Maybe that's part of the magic,” Cooper suggested. “If you did the same chant all the time, it wouldn't be spontaneous. I think one of the reasons it was so powerful was because it came from the moment. You know, like when you make up poetry on the spot. It has an edge to it.”

“I'll have to take your word for that one,” Kate said. “I'm not really an on-the-spot poet.”

“What about cheers at basketball games?” said Annie. “That's kind of the same thing.”

Kate thought about it. Annie was right. She always liked it when the crowd started doing cheers at the games. It lifted her spirits and made her feel like she could do anything. The pounding of their feet, the clapping, and the sound of hundreds of voices working together had a special effect on her.

“As long as we don't have to have cheerleaders,” Cooper said. “Those ditzes make me sick with their pom-poms and their little skirts.”

Cooper's description of the cheerleaders made Kate think of Sherrie. She pictured her friend leading cheers at one of the guys' games. Sherrie was really good at it. She loved to come up with new chants and new routines to get the crowd into the game. But what would she think of the chant that Kate, Annie, and Cooper had just done? Would she think it was cool, the way she thought a new cheer was cool? Would she see raising the energy level at a ball game the same way she would see raising energy in a magical circle? Kate knew that she wouldn't, and that bothered her.

“I've got to get home,” she said suddenly. “I have a lot of homework to do before tomorrow.”

“I guess I should do some work, too,” Annie said reluctantly.

“What about planning a ritual?” Cooper asked. “Shouldn't we talk about what we're going to do to fix the things Kate started? I thought that was the whole point of getting together in the first place.”

“I think maybe we need some more practice,” said Kate, gathering up her things. “Can we talk about it later?”

Cooper shrugged. “It's your life,” she said.

As Kate walked home, her mood worsened. She'd felt so happy and powerful sitting in the circle with Annie and Cooper. But that was only one part of her life. The rest of her time centered around being on the team, trying to be a normal high school student, and, she hoped, being Scott's girlfriend. If she kept practicing Wicca, she wouldn't be able to keep what she was doing a secret forever, and she knew her friends would never understand her involvement in something like witchcraft. She wasn't even sure she believed a lot of the things that witches seemed to believe. Sure, it had been fun raising energy, but she wasn't sure how all the new beliefs sat with her. Annie and Cooper seemed to be able to accept things so easily, but Kate wasn't sure she could do the same thing.

CHAPTER 13

That night, while she was working on an English assignment, Scott called her to tell her that he'd cobbled together his Prince Phillip costume for the Valentine's Day dance and to ask her what color her dress was going to be. “I want to make sure the flowers I get are exactly right,” he said.

When Kate hung up, she started thinking about the dance and about Scott. She knew that witchcraft had had a lot to do with why he had asked her out. Now that she knew a little more about how magic worked, that made her uneasy. But what made her even more uneasy was the thought that, even if he liked her for who she was, Scott probably wouldn't want a girlfriend who practiced Wicca. He probably didn't even know what Wicca was.

And she knew that Scott wouldn't be the only boy who didn't know anything about witchcraft. How would she ever have a normal social life if she remained involved in Wicca? She imagined trying to explain to a guy that she couldn't go out with him on a Friday night because she and her friends had to raise energy or cast a spell. He'd think she was out of her mind.

The more she thought about it, the more she realized that Wicca was just a little too weird for her. She wasn't like Sophia, with her Indian print clothes and her funny store. She wasn't like Annie, who would rather sit up in her room reading than hang out with other kids. And she definitely wasn't like Cooper, who didn't seem to care whether anyone liked her or not. She was plain old Kate Morgan, with a normal family and a normal life. She just wanted to fit in. And becoming a witch was not going to help her do that.

Maybe, she thought, the problem wasn't that the spell she'd cast was out of control. Maybe the real problem was that she wasn't letting it run its course. Things did seem to be calming down a little. Her friends were hanging out with her. Scott was still interested. Sure, people were mad at Annie about Terri's accident, but they'd forget about that eventually. And it wasn't like Annie had been popular before anyway. She wouldn't care if people thought she was kind of weird. Maybe the best thing was to just let everything settle down on its own. Maybe doing more spells would just stir up the energy again and cause more bad things to happen.

The more she thought about it, the more Kate became convinced that this was the best way to go. By the time she turned out the light and went to bed, she'd decided that maybe she didn't need to ever do another ritual. Now she just had to tell Cooper and Annie.

She got her chance first thing the next morning when she arrived at school. She spotted Cooper and Annie near the entrance, talking, as she approached.

“Hey,” Annie said, smiling. “Cooper and I were just talking about what kind of ritual we should do. We had this idea that—”

“I need to talk to you about that,” Kate said, interrupting Annie before she could get started. “I don't think we really need to do another ritual.”

Annie looked at Cooper with a puzzled expression. “What do you mean?” she asked Kate.

Kate looked around to see who might be watching them. She didn't want too many people to see her talking to Cooper and Annie, especially Annie.

“I just don't think we need to do any more spells,” she said.

“But what about stopping what's going on?” Annie asked.

Kate suddenly felt uncomfortable. Her plan had seemed so sensible the night before. But now, facing Annie and Cooper, she wasn't so sure. Part of her wanted to talk about magic and plan another ritual, but she also wanted to put it all behind her.

“Things don't feel so bad right now, that's all,” Kate said. She couldn't explain how she felt to Annie. Annie had never been part of the in crowd. She wouldn't understand.

“Maybe not for you,” Cooper said. “But what about for Annie? And what about for everyone else whose lives have been affected by what you did?”

“Could you keep it down?” Kate said. Several people had heard Cooper's raised voice and turned to look at them.

“Cooper's right,” said Annie. “Maybe things are calming down for you, but that doesn't mean everything is fine. We can't just have your spell turning things upside down forever.”

“It won't be forever,” Kate said. “Things are already getting back to normal. Not even one guy has said hello to me this morning.”

As if on cue, a boy passing by turned to Kate and smiled. “Hi, Kate,” he said. “You've got my vote for queen.”

“Oh, yeah,” said Cooper. “Things are all perfectly normal. What's gotten into you, Kate? Yesterday you were all into this, and today you're saying you don't want to do it anymore.”

“All I said was that I don't think we need to do another ritual right now,” said Kate.

“When then?” asked Annie. “After the dance, when you don't need to have Scott around to be your date? After the next chemistry test, when you don't need to do well? I guess we'll just wait until it's convenient for you.”

Kate was shocked that Annie would say those things to her. “You know I didn't mean for any of this to happen,” she said.

“I know that,” said Annie. “But now you don't seem to be in any big hurry to stop it.” She paused for a moment, waiting for Kate to say something. When she didn't, Annie continued. “Remember when I said that Cooper was afraid of magic?” she said. “I was wrong. You're the one who's afraid, Kate. You're afraid of things changing.”

“Maybe I am,” Kate said. “But I have a lot more to lose than the two of you do.”

There was a shocked silence as Cooper and Annie stared at Kate. Nothing was going the way Kate had planned it. She thought that maybe Cooper and Annie would understand. But just as Sherrie, Jessica, and Tara would never understand her interest in witchcraft, she knew that Annie and Cooper would never understand her wanting to have a normal life. She wanted to make them see what she was going through, but she didn't know how.