So Not a Cowgirl (14 page)

“
So that’s where the idea of giving her roses came from.” Drew remembered how she’d chopped up the last dozen roses in her garbage disposal. “I think chocolates might be better.”

“
You’re not so dumb after all. All women like chocolates.” He looked thoughtful a second. “I think some kind of flowers would still be a good idea. She likes flowers, told me so once.”

Suddenly the dining out thing had gotten complicated. He’d already had to take his best jacket into the cleaners, although he hadn’t really minded. He was all right with trying to look his best for Tanya. But getting flowers and candy seemed like an awful lot of effort.

Tanya had a headache. A big one, all because of Drew Weatherford. She had closed her office for the day and planned to spend the time getting ready for their date tonight. She didn’t know why she was looking at this date as something extra special. There was absolutely no logic to it. But she was.

Standing in her newest black lace Victoria’s Secret knock-him-dead bra and panties set, she scowled at the disaster in her bedroom. She had been through her entire closet. Twice. All of her wardrobe—at least the dresses and skirt sets—lie tossed haphazardly across her bed. Nothing. She had
nothing
right to wear tonight.

“
Now that’s exactly the kind of outfit I like,” Drew said huskily from behind her.

She spun around, blushing from head to foot. She’d expected Mandy to walk back into the bedroom after having gone to make coffee in the kitchen. “What are
you
doing here?” She felt ridiculously exposed, and turned on at the same time.

Mandy stormed up behind her brother and pulled him back out of the room by gripping his belt. “You are not supposed to be here until seven.” She waved her arm with the watch on it in his face. “It’s not even two.”

“
I can tell the damn time.” His gaze darted from his angry sister straight back to Tanya.

She’d gotten past the “turned on” issue, now she was upset with him. She’d wanted to spend the day getting all prettied up for him. She wanted this night to be something extra special. But he was looking at her like he always did: in pure lust. He probably wasn’t even seeing this beautiful VS set she’d bought just for him.

“
Forget it, cowboy. It’s
not
happening,” Tanya said, narrowing her eyes. “Go away.”

He edged around Mandy, never easily swayed from a decision he’d made. “I thought since I was in town already… Well, we could spend a little time together before I head back to the ranch. You know, something nice and close and very personal.”

Mandy barreled around in front of him and shoved him in the stomach with both hands. “I soooo don’t want to hear about this ‘very personal’ thing. You’re my brother. You don’t talk about
S-E-X
in front of me; you don’t even hint about it. Especially not with my best friend. Ooooooo.”

“
So leave.” He swatted her hands away.

Tanya snatched up a robe from the end of the bed and wrapped it around her. Then she bee-lined across the room. “If you
ever
want to…” She hesitated and looked at Mandy. “Want to you know what, then you’ll leave. Right now.”

Over the last couple of weeks she’d come to know that when he wanted sex, he
wanted
sex. Usually she was all too happy to go along with whatever he had in mind. And he had
that
determined look now. But this time she wasn’t in the mood to drop everything and go for it.

“
I said no.
N-O
. Not now.”

He looked as if he couldn’t believe she’d turned him down, probably because she never had before. He was spoiled. His jaw tightened before he said, “If I go now maybe I won’t come back later. Going all the way back to the ranch and then coming all the way back in later… well, it’s a lot of bother.”

All the air seemed to leave her body. When she managed another breath, it was filled with anger. “Tell me you didn’t just say
a lot of bother
!”

Mandy eased away from her brother, shaking her head in amazement. “Oh, you’re soooo dead.”

The big cowboy might be highly skilled at running a ranch to keep it in the black and starting a complicated foundation for abused horses, but his skills at dealing with women were beyond pitiful. He didn’t even appear to comprehend what an enormous mistake he’d made.

“
What’re you so upset about? I just wanted to…“ He had the audacity to wink at her and grin.

Tanya bristled. “I
know
what you wanted to do.”

“
Okay then, we’re on the same page.” He attempted to push Mandy out of the room.

Mandy dug her heels in. “Dumb as dirt. Maybe dumber.”

He just wasn’t grasping in any way that the conversation now was past the sex issue. She was more concerned with the “bother” matter. Evidently she’d been blinded by her own enjoyment of making love with him to have seen the real issues between them. She’d almost convinced herself that she didn’t need to get married to have a contented life, because he’d repeated those words almost like a mantra. She’d told herself that she didn’t really want children of her own some day, because he didn’t have time in
his
life for kids. All of the decisions she’d made lately—other than about her business—had been colored by what
he
wanted.

It was like a part of her brain suddenly came back to life. She decided right then and there that whatever they’d had was done with. She wanted more than just great sex. She’d really thought that with the way he’d been spending more and more time with her, asking for her opinions on things… She’d thought with a little push like a romantic meal out together that he might reconsider that no-commitment stand he’d taken. Not going to happen.

She nudged Mandy out of the way and began pushing him back out of the bedroom. “We’re
not
on the same page. And you don’t have to
bother
coming back later.” She shoved him again, ignoring his frown. “You don’t have to
bother
coming back,
ever
.”

“
Now, Tanya…”

He nearly stumbled when she shoved him again. “You know what else,
Mister Weatherford
, you’re fired as my client.”

He stood there in clear shock as she turned on her heel, stormed back to the bedroom, pushed Mandy out, and slammed the door. She flicked the lock on the door and felt tears burn her eyes. Men! She was soooo done with them.

Heart breaking, she heard Drew growl, “What did I do?”

Mandy tore into him then, listing from A-Z the reasons he was a complete idiot. Tanya had to give her friend credit for coming up with a lot of really good reasons. Yet she fought down the urge to go out and defend the man who was obviously listening to it all without saying a word. But he deserved the ripping. Not that it would matter. They were a done deal.

Drew turned down Tanya’s street at six forty-five. His truck smelled like a flower shop. While he’d wallowed in pity at the ranch after spilling his gut to Greg, his friend had gone into town and filled his truck cab with what appeared to be every kind of floral bouquet the shop must have had in stock. He didn’t even know what half the flowers were. But he sure hoped Tanya liked them.

He had never felt so nervous in his life. This could be one monstrous mistake, one serious ego-crushing moment. What if she didn’t even answer her door? She hadn’t answered any of his phone calls. He’d spoken to Mandy, though. It took some convincing, but she’d agreed to make some excuse for leaving tonight. Not that she really was leaving Dodge City, but she’d at least stay in a hotel for the night.

Pulling up in front of Tanya’s small house, he sucked in a few steadying breaths. How could a man shove his foot in his mouth so far? He wasn’t normally so dense. Well, maybe when it came to dealing with women he was. But he hadn’t meant that she wasn’t worth his time, worth spending hours on the road just to be with her. He’d just been missing her, and when he got that desperate for her evidently he couldn’t think straight. She might have given up on him—them—but he hadn’t. No, he’d finally realized that not a damn thing in his life mattered more to him than Tanya.

He shoved open the cab door, grabbed the biggest box of chocolates he’d been able to find and one of the bouquets. Armed with what he hoped might at least get her to listen to him, he strode up her sidewalk. The words he’d been practicing over and over since he’d left the ranch played again through his mind. With his boot on the first porch step, he muttered, “Don’t screw this up.”

Tanya peaked around the curtain of the front window and her heart raced. He looked spit-polished from his shiny dress boots to his freshly shaved face and best Stetson. And he looked scared to death. Until that second she hadn’t been sure she would even open the door.

She listened to his heavy steps cross her wooden porch. Mandy had warned her that he was coming, so had Greg. Both of them had told her not to let him know they’d told her. Both of them were worried about him, worried about her, too. Now she understood their concerns for the big, tough cowboy. He wasn’t as tough as he seemed.

He knocked uncertainly. She didn’t move, but she did think about the flowers held awkwardly in one of his large hands and the box of chocolates tucked under his arm.
Bother
. He’d gone to a lot of bother for her. Including dressing up in what he referred to as his Sunday best clothes. Most of all he’d ignored the ego she’d had to have badly bruised earlier today and come to see her anyway.

He knocked again and she headed for the door. His hand was raised again to knock when she opened the door. He looked so vulnerable that tears stung her eyes.

Evidently he saw them because he immediately said, “What the hell did I do now?”

She couldn’t stop the smile that slipped into place. “You took a long time in coming back.” She realized now that she’d been secretly hoping he would make an effort to change her mind.

He stepped into the house, handing her the chocolates and flowers at the same time. “You told me not to darken your door again.”

“
Did not.” She smelled the bouquet of mixed flowers, everything inside her bubbling with happiness.

“
Well, not in those exact words. But that was the drift I caught.” He nodded at the flowers. “If they’re not okay, I’ve got a dozen or so other bouquets in the truck.”

Tanya blinked at him in shock and then he admitted in embarrassment, “Actually Greg got all the flowers for me. I’m not much good at that kind of thing.” He nodded at the box in her hand. “I got the chocolates myself, though.”

Instantly the chocolates were her favorite thing. The flowers were nice—and she loved getting flowers—but they’d been picked out by someone else. He’d
bothered
to get her the candy.

She hugged the chocolates to her and headed to the kitchen for something to put the flowers in. He followed behind her and she felt warmed by his closeness. “Thank you,” she said simply, unable to say more around the lump in her throat.

After she put the flowers in a cookie jar filled with water—she really needed to find a vase later, he turned her to face him. He had set his hat on the table and finger-brushed his thick hair. “I’m sorry, Tanya. There are probably fancier words I should say, but it all comes down to I’m sorry.”

She reached up to gently touch his cheek. “What exactly does that ‘I’m sorry’ cover?” She stroked his cheek and watched his eyes darken. “Your reluctance to let me work for you in the beginning? Your firing me for no good reason? Your acting the idiot earlier today?”

He was stroking her cheek with the back of his hand now, not really listening to what she said.

Tanya lightly ran her fingers over his lips, smiling at the way he shuddered. “Sorry for spanking me when I messed up your office while searching for the invoice? Sorry for spanking me when I tried to help you with the IRS matter even though you’d foolishly told me not to? Or spanking me in my office when you thought I was teasing you?”

She stroked his lips again. This time after he drew in a deep breath of awareness, he took hold of her hand and turned it to kiss her palm. Then he pulled her against him, letting her feel the intensity of how much he wanted her. He held her close by putting his big hands on her buttocks. She was almost dizzy with longing, warm, wet and ready.

“
Not sorry for even one of those spankings, sweetheart. Each and every one was deserved.” He gently kissed her and leaned back to look at her. “What I’m sorry for is being such an idiot for so long. I’ve been telling myself that I didn’t need another woman in my life who gave me nothing but grief for so long that I almost missed out on the one woman who didn’t.”

“
Huh?” Her heart was racing in anticipation. And the way he kept squeezing her bottom was driving her crazy.

“
I’m almost positive that I never asked those other two women to marry me. The marriages just happened. Two people who drank too much, got blinded by lust, and found someone to blindly agree to marry them. Same thing happened twice.”

When she frowned at him, he said fervently, “But I’m asking
you
to marry me. No liquor involved. A lot of lust, sure, but that doesn’t count.” He drew in a breath and added, “The point is, Tanya, I’m not going into this marriage in any way blind. I want this. I want you. I even want a half dozen or so little girls who look just like you, who will drive me as crazy as you do.”