Society Rules (15 page)

Indie stared at Jackson without speaking for so long that he thought that maybe he asked too much. Something she was not going to be able to do. His throat began to tighten with sickness at the idea. Her words, however, when finally she spoke, were strong; filled with the certainty of her conviction.

“I know I have to do it. No matter how painful, I know it has to be done, if I want to find my ‘happily ever after’. For Will too, I think. He’s not happy with me either. Not really.” Her eyes filled with pain.

“I just have to work up a way to do it. It will hurt my children, even if it won’t really devastate him too badly. I don’t think he . . .” Indie looked down at the carpet, and then forced the words out. Somehow, it was still painful. “I don’t think he really cares where I go or what I do.”

Jackson ran his hand through her hair and around her face before cupping her chin in his warm, strong hand. As he pulled Indie’s face up to meet his gaze, she felt a forceful energy that seemed to originate from the very center of his body.

His eyes narrowed as he tried to read her, but his voice was soft.

Even and controlled.

“You underestimate your worth in his eyes.” Jackson’s grip on her was strong, but muted with gentleness. “This will hurt him. Probably like nothing he has ever felt before, and by extension, it will hurt you as well.”

He released her face, but caught her hand, and held it with both of his, looking at them thoughtfully.

“How can I say this the right way,” he began, looking up at her. He tried to smile reassuringly, but managed only a painful grimace.

“I know you love him, and even though I know it is in a . . . different way, it will
kill
me. But I want you to understand, that this is my cross to bear, not yours.” He held up one hand to stop her words, and ran his thumb across her lips, softly.

“You
must
love him for what you’ve shared, for what he’s given you. He is the sire of your children, and they are the greatest gift of all. I am indebted to this man as well, for he has provided for you, and given you shelter.”

His eyes were suddenly so clear, so blue, that Indie’s breath caught, and a small gasp escaped her lips, washing over his skin as he continued to stroke her lips as softly as a butterfly’s touch.

“I would have you know that I understand all of this, and you must never feel guilty for the love you have for him, but you must also know that your love is not a gift I will share well, so if you feel my struggle, my . . . darkness, you have to promise to leave me to it. It will be my problem, and not yours. It will never affect my feelings or thoughts toward you. You will care for him freely, and without guilt. You
must
promise me that. I need to hear you say it now, Indie.”

He leaned forward, and speared her with his brilliant eyes when she made no response.

“I want your promise Indie, and in return, I will give you one as well. I will never allow harm to come to him, as far as it is within my power. I don’t want him to suffer anything more than his sacrifice of you to me. That is one area in which I cannot compromise.”

Indie’s eyes began to burn with unshed tears. “I do have feelings for him, but . . .”

“No Indie. Please, do not explain yourself. It’s only right.” Jackson gathered her close, and held her tightly. She felt his warm breath in her hair.

“He doesn’t deserve to be hurt,” she spoke in a small voice.

“No, he doesn’t,” Jackson agreed. “Even for the crime he has committed in not fully appreciating the treasure that he has had right in front of him.” He scowled in disapproval.

“But, what if he had,” Indie asked, “what if he’d worshipped the ground that I walked on, and would never let me go?”

“I can’t answer that,” Jackson replied uneasily. “It would depend on how happy he made
you
. But he would never be your perfect match. That position has always been mine alone to fill.”

“How does this
Equal
thing work, exactly?” Indie asked.

He pinned her neatly to the back of the couch, staring at her for what felt like an eternity before speaking.

“Your promise?” He drew out the “s” sound in a sinfully appealing way, setting small flying creatures free in her belly. She stroked his face and watched in wonder as he took his turn in a pool of new sensations, feeling his soft intake of breath at her touch.

“So, okay. I promise,” she answered simply.

Jackson literally collapsed with relief at this, as if it had been of the utmost importance. How unbelievable was this? He didn’t want her feeling guilty for the pain he would feel because she cared for Will. The selflessness of the act was touching her in all the right places. For the first time ever, someone was putting her feelings and her well-being above all else.

No, she would not cry.

Okay, not too much. The tears shimmered around the edges of her periphery.

Jackson hesitated, measuring her expression, and then acknowledged her previous question.

“The mechanics of
Equal
partnership is actually a pretty long story. There is truly a purpose behind Society Members coming in pairs.” Indie started.

Society
Members
?

She had been so blown away by the revelation of this beautiful man being hers, and hers alone, that she had forgotten the other part of this story.

This not so very romantic part.

The potentially creepy update on her status. She looked back at him, eyes wide with trepidation.

“How about we take one thing at a time, my love,” he whispered. She felt heat spread throughout her body at his words. His manner of speaking was somewhat formal and old fashioned, spiked with only the occasional contraction and modern slang. It was fascinating to hear, and something about it brought her heart home.

Men just didn’t speak to women like this anymore.

The sweet endearments, the intense interest in
her
wellbeing were everything she had been craving her entire life. Indie was a goner. He was right. There was no turning back now. He stood, and she rose with him, immediately. A bright smile lit his face and eyes.

“You’re sad to see me go.”

It was a statement, not a question, and it seemed to make him indescribably happy as he pulled her against his chest.

“Yes. I’m not sure that I can stand it, actually,” Indie answered against his shoulder. He lifted her face to look at him.

“Look, I want you to try something for me now.”

“What is it?” she asked, nervously.

“I think the trick is focus and concentration. Your gift of
invisibility
, as Miss Maggie called it. You have an inborn and quite automatic ability to close yourself off from others. This may be why I don’t fully get your thoughts as I should.”

Indie had to laugh at this.

“I knew it was my fault!”

He gave her a gentle swat on her backside in retaliation as he corrected her. “Not fault, Indie.
Gift
! If you can focus, we will have the ability to communicate freely, without words.”

What?
“How can that be?” She asked, confused at the possibility of such a thing.

He pulled her into his mesmerizing gaze once more, and spoke to her hypnotically. “Open your mind, Indie . . . let go of your defenses and hear me! Relax. Listen. You’ll have to turn away from the invisibility, and
let
me
in
there
!”

For a moment, she was baffled, hearing only his soft breath, but then, it happened. She heard his voice in her head, as surely as if he had spoken.

I
will
never
be
far
from
you
again,
because
I
can’t
bear
it,
either
.

His thoughts warmed her head from the inside. The most crazy part was that it didn’t feel exactly . . .
crazy
. It felt right.

Normal.

Which in itself was insane. Indie’s head was swimming. She felt all the swoon-y and sickly giddiness of a teenage love drama. This was all new. After ten years of marriage, and at age 40, who would believe she could experience first love?

The
search
has
ended,
and
a
journey
begins
for
me
as
well!

She had to look to see if he had spoken. He had not, but his eyes shone brightly as he looked down at her. The lost and empty look seemed to have vanished from his eyes, replaced with a cautious joy and optimism. Indie wondered, briefly, if she too would see a different face the next time she peeked in the mirror. She had a strong feeling that she would.

He continued to stare down at her with a look of amazement stamped across his otherwise serene face.

“What?” She asked, embarrassed by the unfamiliar scrutiny.

“You are just so amazing, so . . . beautiful,” he spoke reverently. Indie shivered, and whatever response she had in mind crumbled into dust.

The look on his face changed abruptly, replaced with resignation.

“I have to leave you now. I cannot help you do what you must, I’m afraid.” A fleeting look of some sort of violent emotion shot across his face, then was gone. “My control is strong, but I know that I can’t face Will with you. That would be . . . unwise, I think.”

The idea of such a confrontation horrified Indie. “Oh my God, no . . . I mean, yes. That would be . . . no good at all, I am thinking.” Ugh, Christ, what a vision that threw into her head. It was not a pretty one.

Jackson eyed her soberly. “You have a difficult job ahead of you.”

“I know,” Indie responded dully, and the sick feeling threatened to engulf her again. He leaned forward, and kissed her quickly, sending a spark of power surging through her.

“I deplore what causes you to suffer, and I know that this will. But you will be strong, because my heart will be with you. It’s belonged to you for forty years, and now you finally have it in your hands.”

He spoke with an enticing sweetness.

“That just might sustain me,” Indie told him.

“I’m counting on it!” He stood for another moment, looking at her. He then leaped forward, pulling her into a criminally passionate kiss that left her panting, her hand pressed to her racing heart.

Jackson released her slowly, sliding his hands down her shoulders to her elbows, then to her hands. He clutched them firmly, then let go with a reluctance that was palpable.

He hesitated, and then whispered the words that left Indie’s lips simultaneously:
“I
love
you.”

They both stiffened at the force of the declarations meeting one another’s ears. On their faces were identical expressions of shock at the words they had each spoken so ridiculously soon. Oh, the feelings were more than clear, but to say the actual words out loud was another matter entirely.

Jackson’s eyes recovered, then melted into Indie’s. The smile that leaked across his face was achingly sweet and shy. With a quick wink, he turned and fled the room. The only evidence that he had been there, was the still open door, and the faint smell of yum, from where he’d been standing.

I
love
you?
What
was
I
thinking?
Indie’s belly was screaming as she tried to reconcile her brain with her mouth. Apparently she’d forgotten how to manage these two parts of her anatomy.

She stared at the place he had just vacated, committing this moment to her own personal history book, before turning to the mission that was soon to be at hand. Turning away, she allowed herself to feel an awful chill at the thought of what she had to do, and ran into the kitchen to begin to formulate the words that would emotionally destroy her family.

Jackson headed down the road on a high unlike anything he’d ever imagined. He’d connected with his mate, and the feeling was intense as he sang along with the radio, enjoying it for the first time as a joyful celebration, rather than something to simply blast the tension from his body.

He wanted to do something totally dorky and ridiculous, like tuning in to the “Delilah after Dark” show, and dedicating something appropriately embarrassing and sappy to proclaim his love for his woman.