Sociopath? (18 page)

“He’ll join Ivy when the time comes though,
won’t he?”

“Because I told him he had no choice. That’s
the only reason.”

“Well, I guess it doesn’t really matter. It
isn’t something we force them to do, we just figure it will make
their adjustment easier if they get involved with like-minded kids
and make friends.”

“Gil, there are no “like-minded”kids when it
comes to Rafe.”

Gil chuckled. “Well, anyway, Renny, there you
have it. I’ll report back again in a few months unless something
comes up I think you need to know about.”

“Thanks, Gil, I really appreciate it.”

*

“Lane?”

“What, Dad?”

“Do you keep in close touch with your
brother?”

“Pretty much, I guess. I e-mail him more than
he answers.”

“Does he ever tell you anything about what
he’s doing, how he’s getting along in his classes or with
sports?”

“Just that he’s doing okay.”

“All right, that’s what I figured. I just
thought I’d ask.”

* *

Hi Rafe - There’s not a lot of gossip from
this end. Miss Britt’s engagement announcement was in the paper.
Things are going okay at school. Mr Capshaw says I have a talent
for writing and I should consider becoming a journalist! Cal asked
me to go steady. I told him yes but I really need to talk to you
about it when you come home for Christmas. Speaking of Christmas,
we had the drawing at Thanksgiving. We drew for you and you got
Mariel’s name. Ha!Ha! I know you’ll love hearing that. Dad said yes
about the trip, just let him know. I miss you so much, Rafe…..

*

Lane - Oh, great - Lady Mariel! We’ll figure
out the details of your trip when I’m home - and also talk about
what you need to talk to me about. Congrats on your writing.
Everything is all right with me. R

*

Rafe - I saw Mrs Fielding at the Fashion
Boutique. She told me, they’ve sold Bay Front and will be moving to
Florida at the first of the year. She said to tell you she still
has what you gave her and she wishes you well. I didn’t even know
you ever knew Mrs. Fielding? What did you give her? We had to take
Raven to the vet. He cut his paw and it got infected. I think he’s
going to be as happy to see you as I am. He’s sort of droopy since
you left. Me too. Lane

*

Lane - Are you sure Raven’s all right? Watch
him close, okay? He’s almost 12. It would break my heart if
anything happened to him. I just know Alexis Fielding from the
boats. I don’t remember ever giving her anything. Maybe she has me
mixed up with someone else. I’m looking forward to Christmas break
too. I’ll be glad to get away from here for a while. R

*

Rafe - I can’t quite imagine anyone mixing
you up with anyone else! Raven’s fine. Would it break your heart if
something happened to me too? It’s boring around here. Let’s see,
there’s some family stuff. Wyatt and Belen are going to have a baby
in February. Mariel is going to have a baby in April. They already
know its going to be a girl. Jocey and Edgar are going to have a
baby in May. How’s that for expanding the Vincennes family? Jeff
got a really good part in a Broadway play (can’t remember the name
of it) and he and Denis are all thrilled about that. That’s all I
know. I’m counting the days ‘til you get home - 22 more! I love
you, Laney

*

Lane - Christ, I hope this baby stuff isn’t
catching! Yes, Honey, it would break my heart if something happened
to you too, almost as much as if it was Raven. Just kidding! Gotta’
leave for class. It’s 3 days since your last letter so we’re down
to 19 days. Rafe

* *

Rafe was lying in bed thinking his father was
oh, so right. He hated being in a room with people, often noisy
people, above and below and on every side of him. It made him feel
like a drone bee in a beehive.

He looked around his tiny room. It was like
an oasis of austerity compared to most of the rooms around it.
Books were stacked on the desk, largest on the bottom, smallest on
top. The rest of the desktop was bare except for his laptop and a
container of pens and pencils. There was nothing posted on any wall
except a calendar with his schedule printed neatly on the squares.
The only furniture was the bed, a dresser and a small bookcase of
books. He didn’t have a t.v., a refrigerator or a microwave like so
many of the other students had brought. There were no sacks of
chips or boxes of cookies or candy bars. Rafe wasn’t a snacker. The
only drinks were a couple bottles of water and he could drink water
warm as easily as cold. When he left in the morning, his bed was
always made. Dirty clothes were in a laundry sack and clean ones
were hung up. There was never an item of clothing just flung onto
the floor or over the back of a chair (well, except maybe when he
had a girl with him and they were in a hurry to get in bed).

At times, he got claustrophobic. Sometimes
when he felt that way, he got out and walked until he found an
empty place without anyone around. Sometimes, he took the bus or
even a taxi to where the Corvette was garaged and drove (fast!)
until he felt like he could cope again. He’d found a lonely
cemetery fairly near his dorm and he frequently took his textbooks
there to study where he could concentrate in peace.

Thank God, women were so thick on the ground
at Princeton because it meant he never had to spend a night alone
unless he just wanted to. If he had someone with him in bed, it
helped him not to focus on the press of humanity so much. On the
other hand, girls were people too and that meant making the effort
to please them. Sometimes, he just wasn’t up for that effort.

Rafe never felt a need to confide, not ever,
not in anyone, not even Laney. He had never had a best friend or
even any friend, really. He had no desire to tell anyone his
innermost thoughts. (He grinned a little thinking most people would
probably be shocked if they knew some of his innermost thoughts).
It’s not that he couldn’t have had friends. He’d hung out with a
crowd at high school, as he was beginning to do here, and he was
friendly to everyone. He joked around with people in the cafeteria
and in the gym and standing outside waiting to go into the building
and walking down the halls to class. Lots of people would have
liked to be on closer terms with him, both boys and girls, but when
classes ended, he never invited anyone to go with him wherever he
was going. In Benedict, he’d never asked other kids out to the boat
and he never had them all up to the cabin for a cook-out as his
brothers and sisters had, and it was the same here.

He knew he had charisma, whatever that
actually meant, because he’d been told often enough, and he knew
how to use it when it was in his best interest, but he thought
charisma was a mixed blessing. It seemed to him that everyone
wanted more from him than he had to give. Girls, for sure, always
wanted more (even Lane, maybe even especially Lane although he
didn’t mind it so much from her), but guys were just as bad. The
more he moved away, the closer they seemed to want to come toward
him. Even teachers were that way. He’d aced Digby’s test and now he
felt the old prof’s eyes on him every time he entered the room. By
doing what he did, he’d brought himself to Digby’s attention and he
sensed that because he was good at it, Digby wanted him to love
Math like the old man himself did. But he didn’t. He didn’t care
one way or another. It was just another subject. His honors English
teacher, Judith Lentz, in high school had been the same. His
photographic memory allowed him to memorize almost as much poetry
as she knew but that didn’t mean he gave a shit about Alfred
fucking Lord Tennyson.

So it seemed to Rafe that he always had to
keep people at arm’s length to protect himself or they’d nibble him
to death, all wanting a little piece of him until there was nothing
left. He knew a lot about how people acted and how to manipulate
them, but that didn’t mean he understood how they thought. For
instance, he would have been surprised to know how often he was the
subject of discussion by staff and students alike.

*

“I talked to his Dad,” Gil told the others
who were attending a small party at his house. “He’s never even
told his family about his grades or his baseball record or how he’s
doing in football. That just doesn’t seem normal, does it? Most
kids wouldn’t be able to wait to share those kinds of
achievements.”

“It’s the same in football,” Coach said,
“he’s really kind of spectacular, especially for a freshman, but he
doesn’t seem the least bit impressed with himself. It’s like I give
him a job to do and he just goes in and does it. Oh, he might give
the audience a quick smile and a bit of a strut when he makes a
touchdown, almost like that’s expected of him too, but I’ve never
coached a kid who was less of a glory hound than Rafe Vincennes.
Even when he does especially well, he doesn’t seem to get any
pleasure out of reliving his triumph. In fact, I get the impression
he’s bored sitting through the after-game reviews. You know, like
‘it’s over, so let’s forget it and move on’.

“Well, I’m not so sure it’s that way with
girls. I think he’s totally aware of how much sex appeal he has and
how to use it to get what he wants and what he wants seems to be to
see how many notches he can have on his belt by the time he leaves
Princeton.” Ms. Barnes taught a course in Women’s Studies. She was
a militant feminist.

“But, Helene, that’s not exactly what we’re
talking about. He may sleep around a lot but do you think he talks
about it? Do you think he shares his experiences with all the other
guys? Do you think he brags about his conquests to anyone?”

“Well, no, Gil,” she had to admit. “I’ve
never heard that about him.”

“If I had to describe the most unique
characteristic of Rafe Vincennes, I’d say it’s how little he seems
to need other people. I told his father that as far as I know, he’s
never joined a single organization. Do you think we’ve ever had any
student who didn’t join anything or hang out with anyone before?
His Dad called him a lone wolf and I think that’s just what he
is.”

“I wonder if he’ll be able to hack

it here for four years.”

“Oh, trust me. I know Renny Vincennes. If he
tells Rafe to stand it, he’ll damn well stand it. But, having said
that, I’m not sure he’s going to enjoy it much.”

*

He’d gotten the Corvette and picked her up.
She hoped lots of people were watching her get in the car with him.
She tried to peek around to see. He’d just told her flat out.

“I’m going for a drive in my car. I’m going
to drive fast. When I’m tired of driving, I’m going to a hotel to
get away from here for a night. (Hotels didn’t bother him because
every room was self-contained, not all connected like the dorm). I
want to have a woman with me. Are you interested?”

Not very romantic but he wasn’t in a romantic
mood. Just, “here’s the offer, take it or leave it.” He’d felt her
looking at him in class. He was pretty sure she’d take it and she
did.

They drove for a couple hours, at speeds well
over 100. The longer it went, the more excited she got. He didn’t
say much, just drove the car but every now and then, he looked over
at her, a white smile flashing across his brown face, a smile that
made her feel all melty inside. She watched his strong hand
controlling the steering wheel, the long jean-clad legs stretched
out toward the pedals, the strand of black hair falling into dark
eyes that were framed by long black lashes. Occasionally, he gave
her shoulder a light squeeze or let his hand rest on her thigh to
let her know he was aware of her presence.

Finally, he started slowing down and she
could feel him beginning to relax, as if he’d expended some kind of
tension that needed to be released. Soon, he drove under the
overhang of a Hilton hotel. He went in to register, then came back
and pulled around to the side, leading her to their room.

The door was barely shut, when he drew her to
him, kissing her as he unbuttoned her blouse and her jeans. They
didn’t finally fall asleep until the early morning hours. She was
thinking she’d never even known there were so many ways a man could
make a woman come. He was thinking speed and sex were the only two
things that would get him through the next few years.

When he dropped her off, she asked if he
would call her again and he said, “maybe.”

If Rafe wasn’t one to talk about his sexual
exploits, that didn’t mean that other people didn’t do it for
him.

“If he ever asks you to go, do it. It might
be a one-night stand but it will be the best one-night stand of
your life.”

*

It got to be a kind of status symbol among a
certain group of women to have been one of Rafe’s Riders. So far as
anyone knew, no one ever got asked to go twice.

~ ~ ~

He would be home tomorrow! Oh, Lord, she
couldn’t wait to see him! Hurry, hurry, hurry, time, hurry up and
pass!

And then it was the next day and she heard
the Corvette in the driveway and she went flying out the back door
to meet him as he came out of the garage. Throwing her arms around
his neck, she said, “I’ve never been so glad to see anyone in my
whole life. Oh, God, Rafe, I’ve missed you!”

His arms were almost as tight around her
waist as hers were around his neck. “I’ve missed you too, Honey.
“

“Mom and Dad went to New York Christmas
shopping. They won’t be back until tomorrow. “

They both stopped just inside the kitchen
door. Her arms went back around his neck. He bent his head to kiss
her, running his hand inside her blouse, cupping her breast. She
pressed herself as tight against as she could get and felt him
respond.

“I was going to ask if you wanted talk first
or sex first but I guess I know the answer,” he murmured in her
ear.