Soldier's Daughters (43 page)

Michelle felt her eyes pricking. ‘Of course I have.’ She blinked.

‘Really? You’ve never given a damn about how much you’ve hurt Janine over the years. She’s done her best to provide a home for you—’

‘She got me packed off to boarding school.’

‘I packed you off to boarding school to spare her from you. Besides, I thought you would get a better education if you didn’t keep changing schools. Have you any idea the sacrifices Janine and I made to find the money for the fees?’ He stared at Michelle.

‘But the army pays.’

‘They make a contribution – and not a very big one. I really hoped boarding school would give you a brilliant start in life. But do you know what I really hoped? I really hoped that if you went away you might appreciate things when you came home, but I was so wrong.’ He shook his head sadly. ‘Every time you came back from school you were even more difficult, even more horrible to Janine. We used to dread the holidays. We tried not to show it, we tried to make you welcome, but whatever we did you seemed to hate and despise us all the more.’

Michelle felt the tears roll down her face. This was so unfair. She hadn’t been like that in the holidays. Well, maybe a bit but that was because her father never paid her the least attention; Janine was always around, getting in the way, being the perfect bloody housewife, simpering and smiling… Gah, the thought of it made Michelle want to gag. At least when she was naughty her father noticed her.

Her father looked at her without sympathy. ‘You know you can kiss goodbye to your career, don’t you? I would think at the very least you’ll be expected to resign your commission.’

‘No,’ she whispered. ‘It won’t come to that, surely?’

‘I wouldn’t be so sure. Conduct to the prejudice of good order and military discipline would be the least of the things they could charge you with. And on top of that they could add a charge of fighting. That friend of Maddy’s would be well within her rights to press charges.’

‘But she attacked me!’

‘You’re hardly in a position to take the moral high ground, are you? Barging into someone’s home and then telling her you’ve been screwing her husband. If Maddy says her friend acted in self-defence do you think anyone is going to believe a word you say?’ Her father shook her head, hardly believing the situation. ‘You know, once you got to Sandhurst I thought I could stop worrying about you. I thought they’d sort you out, teach you how to be a decent citizen. How wrong I was.’

‘You’ve never, ever worried about me. You’ve never given me a second thought. You’ve spent every living, breathing moment of the past twenty-three years trying to blot out the fact that I even exist.’

Henry Flowers stared at her – stunned. ‘You really are quite stupid for someone with your intelligence and qualifications. Contrary to what you think, since you arrived on the planet I have spent every minute of every day worrying about you. There isn’t day that goes by when I don’t wonder what you’re getting up to, what you’ll tell me in your next phone call, what scrape you’ve got into now and wondering how I can bail you out or even
if
I can bail you out.’

‘Don’t lie,’ said Michelle. ‘You can barely bring yourself to speak to me. You’ve never loved me. Tolerated me would about sum up how you felt and half the time, not even that. That’s why you were so glad when I joined the army. You must have thought I’d be out of your hair for ever when I did that.’

Henry looked sad and bewildered. ‘No, I’ve always loved you. Even when you made it nigh on impossible, I loved you. Janine does too – although sometimes I wonder how she can bring herself to, considering the way you treat her.’

Michelle was crying properly now. ‘No, no that’s not true, you never have, either of you.’

‘But of course we do.’

‘Then why didn’t you ever tell me?’

‘I thought you knew. I’m your father – of course I love you. That’s what fathers do. There are times when I don’t like you very much, I’ll admit that, but I loved you just the same.’

‘But you didn’t tell me.’

‘I didn’t think a father had to tell his daughter stuff like that.’

Michelle sniffed. ‘Then we’ve both been mistaken. I always thought you hated me. I thought I reminded you of Mum – that’s why you couldn’t stand me.’

‘Dear God, child, no.’ Henry shook his head. ‘Maybe this is something I ought to take the blame for. I’m not good at that sort of stuff – expressing myself. Boarding school and the army probably knocked it all out of me.’

Michelle gave him a wan smile. ‘No hope for me, then. Second generation and all that.’

Henry shook his head again. ‘Indeed.’ He gave his daughter a wry grin. ‘Seeing how you can’t leave the barracks, how about I go and find us a take-away and a bottle or two of wine and we try and make up some lost time over supper in my room.’

Michelle sniffed and then blew her nose. ‘Sounds like a plan.’ As Henry walked away she knew things between her and her father were about to change for ever and for the better. Maybe things wouldn’t ever be perfect but at least they’d got off the skids. She knew that allowing Janine into her life was going to take a bit longer.

Luke and Sam walked holding hands, stumbling along in the dark, exhausted, drained, hungry and thirsty.

‘Time for another break,’ said Luke.

‘Thank the Lord,’ said Sam. She swung her daysack off and extricated the water bottle. ‘After this we’ve only got one full one left.’ She gazed at the third of a litre of water that was left in it before she took a sip and then handed it over to Luke.

‘We’ve got to be near the river,’ said Luke. ‘Have to be, it stands to reason.’

Sam nodded. She slumped to the ground and Luke followed her lead. ‘We’ve got to hope. And we’ve got to hope we can get across it without any problem.’

‘We don’t need more headaches on top of being lost and running out of water.’

‘No, we don’t. Luke, the thing is, what if we can’t get across it? I mean, what if it’s too deep or there’s crocs or something?’

‘We can’t think like that.’

‘Why not? Blanking it out now isn’t going to change the situation when we get there.’

‘A situation that’s my fault.’

‘I didn’t say that.’

‘You didn’t have to, we both know it’s true. I fucked up. Monumentally.’

‘It’s not your fault we got ambushed.’

‘If we’d been in the right place, on the right road, it wouldn’t have happened.’

‘You don’t know that. We might have got ambushed anyway. Maybe this was our time to get ambushed.’ Luke looked at her as if she’d flipped completely. ‘You know – fate, karma, that sort of shit.’

‘Well, even if that is true, if we’d been ambushed on the main supply route someone would have found us in no time. As it is, here we are in the Back of Bleeding Beyond, with no torch, no food, and now next to no water.’

‘But at least we’ve found each other. That wouldn’t have happened in the other scenario. You’d still hate me because I’m a rupert, and I’d try and ignore how hot and buff you are because officers can’t feel that way about their men.’

‘Hot and buff?’ said Luke with a smile.

‘Shit, yeah. That’s why I made you put your shirt on that time you took me to the medical centre.’

‘Ah… you were very assertive about me getting dressed.’

‘You were very annoying – and verging on insolent.’

‘Me?’

She nodded. ‘Yes, you.’

Luke kissed Sam lightly on the lips.

‘So, back to our original conversation,’ she said, once her heart had quietened down. ‘Any clues as to how far the river might be?’

‘No. We have to keep trekking till we get there. And, if we can’t cross it, we have to hope they’re pulling out all the stops to find us.’

‘They will be, won’t they?’

‘I would think so. They’ll have contacted our next of kin by now.’

‘Yeah.’ Sam went silent for a bit as they both gazed up at the stars and the few clouds scudding across the sky in the light breeze. ‘Poor Dad. He doesn’t need the grief.’

‘’Cos your mum died.’

‘Yeah. Your dad won’t know, though, will he? You’ve got a friend down as your next of kin.’

Sam sensed Luke nodding. ‘Yeah, Pete. He’s a nice guy.’

‘You must hate your father a lot not to have him down as your NOK.’

‘I didn’t want people to know who he is.’

‘Why?’

‘Because… because he’s Commander Land Forces. He’s the big cheese.’

‘He’s what?’

‘You heard.’

‘Shit.’ The penny dropped. ‘
Pemberton
-Blake?’

‘Yup.’

‘Fucking hell, Luke.’ She stared at him. ‘Well, that’s a bombshell.’

‘So if Pete tells the army who my real NOK actually is, the shit is really going to hit the fan.’

‘Will he?’

Luke considered this. ‘Possibly. Pete was never happy about the way I cut myself off from my family, so he might well.’

Sam giggled. ‘I’d love to see Notley’s face when he finds out.’

Luke nodded. ‘Yup, that would almost make this worth it.’

‘This assumes we get to see Notley’s face.’

‘We will.’

‘But if we can’t get across the river and if we can’t get to the road and…’

‘And we can’t get rescued…’

Sam nodded. ‘Luke,’ she said, ‘I don’t want to die. Not out here.’

‘I won’t let you. I am not going to let that happen. We’re going to get out of here. Sam, I promise you, it’s going to be all right,’ and he took her into his arms.

James Rosser, back at Archers Post for the CO’s O Group, found Andy Bailey listening to the net in the back of his vehicle, obviously trying to get updates from all units as to the progress of the search. James had known the missing personnel were two soldiers from 1 Herts but when he’d heard the CO announce that one of the missing soldiers was Sam, he hadn’t wanted to believe it. But Andy, he hoped, would have more gen, more details. Andy would put him in the picture and, possibly, fill in all the gaps that the CO had left because the information about how Sam and her corporal had come to be lost had been very sketchy.

‘So, what happened?’

‘We’re not sure,’ said Andy.

‘Come on, Andy, you must have some idea.’

‘We’ve found the vehicle, but not them. That’s all we know.’ Andy stared at James. ‘So… your interest? Were you and she…?’

‘No, no. I mean, she’s a great girl. But no, not really my type.’

Andy looked a bit surprised. ‘Really?’

‘No.’ James looked Andy steadfastly in the eye. Did he have to spell it out to him? Not that this was a particularly appropriate moment, given everything else that was happening.

The radio squawked, distracting Andy, who listened to the message being passed before returning his attention to James. ‘Just be assured that we’re doing everything we can to find them. The Air Corps will resume search operations in the morning, and we’ll get all units to move into and search the area where their vehicle was found but we’re at a loss. Their Land Rover was way off the route they should have taken and given the evidence we’ve found so far, we think they were ambushed.’ Andy looked James in the eye. ‘There were a couple of bullet holes in the chassis.’

‘No!’

‘We think they might have been ambushed by poachers. And, although there may have been bullet holes, there wasn’t a trace of blood. We don’t think either Sam or Luke could be injured. But neither do we know whether they were still in the vehicle when it was dumped or whether they were kicked out of it somewhere else. All we do know is that the bullets caused the breakdown. Something vital got hit and that’s why it was abandoned, but the REME reckon it could have travelled a fair way before the engine seized.’

‘So, what you’re saying is they could be anywhere?’

‘In a nutshell. But we are doing everything we can to find them. Trust me on this.’

‘Yeah, yeah, of course you are.’

‘Honestly, you have no idea. I mean, we’d pull out all the stops anyway but there’s been a development that even we didn’t see coming.’

James’s brow creased. ‘I’m not with you.’

‘It’s Blake.’

‘What about him? What’s he done?’

‘Oh, it’s nothing he’s done, it’s who he is.’

‘And?’

‘He’s the son of the Commander Land Forces. His real name is Pemberton-Blake.’

‘Bloody hell.’

‘And Sam’s dad, Colonel Lewis, and the general are on their way.’

‘You’d better hope they’ve been found by the time they get here.’

‘Found alive and well.’

‘Show me the map,’ said James. ‘I know you probably have more important things to do but maybe, I dunno, maybe I—’ He stopped. ‘I’d like to see the lie of things for myself.’

Andy stood up and took James over to the ops tent, where the map table dominated the space. It was covered in clear plastic onto which were drawn the tactical symbols representing the various component parts of the battalion and the battle group. Out on its own, away from any of the other markers, was a small flag. Andy pointed at it.

‘That was where their vehicle was found,’ he said.

‘And where were they headed for?’

Andy pointed at a coloured oblong out on the edge of the exercise area – the Royal Engineer’s tactical sign. ‘There. They were taking a new genny to the sappers building a bridge across the river.’

‘So why the fuck were they there? It makes no sense at all. They’re miles off course.’ James studied the map.

‘Look, I’ve got a million things to do, but if you come up with any bright ideas, let me know.’

James barely acknowledged Andy’s departure as he continued to stare at the map. Why, he kept asking himself, had the vehicle ended up where it was? Even if the poachers had driven it miles before it conked out it was still too far away from the rest of the action. Where had they crossed the river? Why were they so far south? It didn’t make sense. How on earth could they have got so monumentally lost?’

He traced the route to their destination with his finger, the sappers’ camp on the northern bank of the river. Why, he wondered, was it on that bank? The route to get to it had to loop miles round to reach it; a huge detour off the main supply route through the exercise area. Still, who knew how the mind of a sapper worked? He went back to staring at the map and wondering where, in that vast expanse of bugger-all, Sam might be.